https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 23:45:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824568 Thu, 24 May 2018 11:44:32 +0000 mediagirl 2824568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, just as a third day of swim team update: last night my daughter swam 15 yards unassisted!! Kid knows how to swim, she just got scared that first day - not knowing the deep end, not knowing the instructors, not knowing the rules etc. I feel a heck of a lot better now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824233 Wed, 23 May 2018 09:34:16 +0000 snowjewelz 2824233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: That's great to hear! It seems like they took her seriously and also actively made changes without you even stepping in! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824204 Wed, 23 May 2018 08:10:11 +0000 mediagirl 2824204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't get a chance to talk to the coach until after her swim team practice yesterday. So, I reiterated to my daughter that she could use the rope and ask for help as needed. During practice, she spoke to the asst. coach and the head coach and talked to them for a long time. I'm actually not sure what she said to them but they listened and the coach in the water responded by making sure she had help the entire class. </p> <p>It also appeared they had more helpers yesterday. Or maybe they were more attentive. Either way, I felt better.</p> <p>I also spoke to a couple of parents that said without prompting that this group (6 and under) isn't expected to know how to swim a full lap. The coaches expect to give "lessons" during practice all season. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824159 Tue, 22 May 2018 21:32:03 +0000 MamaCate 2824159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: for what it is worth and not to totally thread jack but for my 6 y/o her summer program has 15 passenger vans for field trips with seatbelts and boosters and her bus during the school year has seatbelts! I don’t know if it is true where you are but some things have gotten safer!</p> <p>@mediagirl: this sounds super scary and I would absolutely address it with the coach/person in charge. I think you and your family will have to decide if it is a good fit. I think some of this discussion about pools and supervision comes down to how comfortable your kid is in the water and how much common sense they have. there is a big range on both issues and parents and coaches can’t control all of it.</p> <p>For us, we live in a warm place where swimming is one of the only sane ways to be outside in the summer and there are tons of pools. I don’t love the water but I can swim, and I wanted my kids to learn to swim as a safety precaution. My DD did two years of lessons and swims with us 6 months out of the year. She has swum in the summer program (shallow pools and high level of supervision—I think 10 kids to 3 adults) and I was fine with it. But she was very comfortable in the water and she is well aware of her limits. </p> <p>Good luck and let us know how it goes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824086 Tue, 22 May 2018 15:10:09 +0000 mediagirl 2824086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: your life seems to be paralleling mine. It's scary. My parents want her to come stay with them for a week or two in the summer but they're going to take her to the pool and beach and....no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824085 Tue, 22 May 2018 15:08:39 +0000 Mama Bird 2824085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBells: tell me about it. Summer camp is another can of worms. The pool. The trips out of town, to all kinds of places, in buses with no seat belts (at least, they had no seat belts when I was a kid). I've never wished I could quit my job so badly. We considered doing grandmacare for a couple of weeks, but a couple of recent incidents made it very clear the kid will be safer with some inattentive college kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824084 Tue, 22 May 2018 15:04:45 +0000 mediagirl 2824084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: we had the option of putting our daughter into a daycare that had a swimming pool and the liability there was just too much for me (and my anxiety!!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824080 Tue, 22 May 2018 14:14:40 +0000 Mrsbells 2824080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I'm signing DS up for swim lessons that are incoporated into summer camp and it terrifies me. I've told them I plan to come and observe for the first few lessons and I've asked so many questions about how many sets of eyes are on the children at all times! people forget that drowning can happen very quietly </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824067 Tue, 22 May 2018 13:01:52 +0000 T-Mom 2824067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would talk to the coach and say you would like to ask him/her to reiterate with all the junior coaches or instructors that they need to be keeping an eye on all the kids and not assuming they can make their way safely to the next person, and then explain what happened with your DD. </p> <p>I've seen this kind of thing happen at my kids' swim team as well. We have junior coaches who have mid-lane spots and sometimes they get distracted by certain kids who are more clingy and needing help, and they really should not be assuming that any child can make it all the way across, especially during the first week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824065 Tue, 22 May 2018 12:39:11 +0000 Madison43 2824065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: @mediagirl: my daughter has been taking swim lessons for 2 years and while I’m happy with the instruction the supervision is lackluster (I recently complained bc the college age lifeguard had ear buds in and was watching a show on his phone). My experience is that parents have to watch their own kids like a hawk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824059 Tue, 22 May 2018 12:20:38 +0000 Mama Bird 2824059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: that's... not great. It's good that you were there. I think it would be very understandable if she ends up wanting to take a break from lessons, but I like the "try it for a week" idea!</p> <p>This whole thing is terrifying to me. My son goes swimming once a week with his afterschool, and I gather it's just the lifeguards and a few teenage counselors who aren't in the pool area all the time. It's only like 10 kids, but still... I'm basically trusting a five year old to know his limits because I've only got a vague idea whether he's being watched well. I'm torn between telling him to stay in school (this is optional) and not getting to swim at all, or just hoping the lifeguards are up to the job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824049 Tue, 22 May 2018 12:08:45 +0000 mediagirl 2824049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: she's not thrilled. She doesn't like new things. We told her that we want her to try it for a week, "we try everything for a week to see if we like it or not" and then we will discuss. She is okay with that decision. The instructor who sent her off looked away and didn't look back as she was prepping other kids to go. I guess she expected the mid-lane coach to be there. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824048 Tue, 22 May 2018 12:04:47 +0000 Mama Bird 2824048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG. I'd tell the coach this is not acceptable, and that he needs to have a meeting with the staff and remind them to watch the kids. This is like 50% of their job at that level. There's no excuse.</p> <p>And OK, the instuctor glanced away for a sec. What were they doing after that, while she was struggling? Do they not know what drowning looks like? If so, they def need training in that ASAP.</p> <p>Is your daughter OK with continuing class there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824017 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:32:29 +0000 mediagirl 2824017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: sorry, my first part was confusing...i edited it! @Adira: yes it totally still applies! </p> <p>They had 3 instructors per lane (2 lanes of kids). Their goal, I believe, was to have one on each end and one in the middle The one in the middle was assisting another and didn't see her. </p> <p>For today, we told M that she should swim close to the rope and if she gets in trouble, bounce to the rope and hold on until someone comes to help. She didn't like that at first b/c we had always told her NOT to hold onto the rope.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824015 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:31:01 +0000 Maysprout 2824015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve wondered about the swim team at our pool. Even with slightly older kids they can get a cramp and there’s just a crowd of people doing laps. Parents do usually stay though. </p> <p>I’d just go and say.....I was concerned yesterday when daughter was struggling. There’s a lot of kids and it made me nervous that children are going to be missed if something happens. Is there a protocol for how the kids are watched? Are parents supposed to watch their child? Is swim team too advanced at this point? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824012 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:30:27 +0000 mediagirl 2824012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: @lbee: they take all kids. They don't expect the kids to swim the full length for meets but I guess this is how they test them? No one told us what they would be doing in the pool. There were lots of kids struggling worse than my daughter but she looks good when she starts and putters out while others couldn't even get going.</p> <p>@Truth Bombs: We have been doing lessons since she was 2 and were told that swim team is a great way to jump start swimming skills. My goal was to give this a week. After a week, my husband and I were going to discuss if we want to move forward with it or not. </p> <p>@looch: thanks, I like that way of approaching it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824005 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:23:20 +0000 Mrsbells 2824005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: @snowjewelz: yes there is a very big difference in pressure between 5ft of water and 10ft!</p> <p>@Adira: I also read this as swim lessons rather than a swim team. I think maybe they are just assuming the children are all at a more advanced level. Even then I would still think at that age there would be a dedicated life guard type instructor keeping an eye out. Even strong swimmers can be in distress </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2824002 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:18:34 +0000 Adira 2824002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>AND just realized this was about a swim team thing and not swimming lessons, which is totally different... though I think maybe my advice still applies? Maybe not! Ignore me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823999 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:16:36 +0000 Adira 2823999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UGH, Hellobee just ate my post.</p> <p>I'm soooooo sorry that you experienced this!! Is it possible that the class is meant for more advanced swimmers and so the instructors assumed your daughter would be fine?? That's the only thing I can think of.</p> <p>I'd maybe try to arrive early for the next one so you can address the instructor in advance and maybe just say "Hey, watching the last swim class, I noticed my daughter really struggling. Could you just make sure you keep an eye on her during the lesson? I don't think she's as advanced and maybe some of the other swimmers and needs some extra support."</p> <p>ETA: Apparently HB didn't eat my post and was just being annoying... feel free to ignore this one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823998 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:14:22 +0000 LBee 2823998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Duplicate.</p> <p>HB is a hot mess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823997 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:14:13 +0000 Truth Bombs 2823997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And again. Really HB? :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823996 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:14:07 +0000 looch 2823996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably start by saying that I wanted to talk a bit more about what the group was going to do to ensure that kids are properly supported for their levels of ability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823995 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:13:27 +0000 Truth Bombs 2823995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Double Post </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823993 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:13:20 +0000 Truth Bombs 2823993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I would pull her from the swim team and sign her up for swim lessons instead. If she can't swim the length of the pool unassisted, I don't think swim team is the best spot for her or your goals. Team practices are about improving skills/form rather than learning to swim so I think lessons would probably be a better fit! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823992 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:12:58 +0000 LBee 2823992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Duplicate post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823990 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:12:38 +0000 LBee 2823990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Was there not a swim test prior to joining swim team? Assuming no (and it was parent evaluation), I would just ask how they evaluate the swimming levels of each child. Can your daughter comfortably swim laps? I would feel different if this was swim lessons, but in my neck of the woods swim team is for competitive swimming so it's sort of assumed that if you sign your child up they are a fairly strong swimmer.</p> <p>For reference, I did swim team most of my childhood and my son has been in swim lessons since 2. He can swim, but I still would not sign him up for swim team until I felt her was a VERY strong swimmer.</p> <p>I think you just have to be your child's advocate in this case - it's a lot of kids as well as she arrived late. I'm not saying it's right, but unless my son is in individual lessons (he's done group and individual), I am prepared to jump in the pool. If I said anything I would ask my above question and then say I noticed yesterday my daughter struggling a little and wanted to make sure she was ready for swim team. Accusing your swim coach of almost drowning your child (as a PP suggested) is pretty intense and doesn't exactly endear yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823987 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:12:30 +0000 Adira 2823987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Wow, that's scary! I'm curious what the description of the class was? Based on the fact they were doing laps, it sounds like maybe they expect the kids to be more advanced than at least your daughter is (and maybe others, I have no idea) and so they didn't realize how closely they needed to be paying attention to each kid (or specific kids)??? That's the ONLY thing I can think of to explain this!!!</p> <p>My son is in swim lessons too, but it's really the most beginner class you can take that's not a parent&amp;me class. There's only 5 kids with the instructor and a dedicated lifeguard. They are VERY strict with safety - the kids only do things one-on-one with the instructor and the rest have to be sitting or holding the side of the pool. If even one of them starts to goof around, the instructor stops what he's doing to address it to ensure they are all being 100% safe. But this is definitely a class where it's assumed these kids can't even float on their backs or tread water.</p> <p>I think what I'd do in your situation is try to arrive a little early next time so you can get the instructor alone before they get too busy. Then maybe just say "I'm not sure if we signed up a more advanced class than we should have, but my daughter struggles to swim a whole lap on her own and really needs to be watched closely so she doesn't sink!"</p> <p>Sorry you experienced that... I can imagine how scary it was for you guys!! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823983 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:11:16 +0000 snowjewelz 2823983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: wow that is so not okay; especially their dismissive attitude :sad: </p> <p>@mediagirl: Can you start by asking, did you know my daughter almost drowned yesterday, if it wasn't for another nearby instructor that got her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823979 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:06:41 +0000 mediagirl 2823979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: that is not funny at all!! I'm sorry that your daughter and husband went through that! I definitely want to bring it up, I just don't know the right way to do so without sounding crazy. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-this-situation#post-2823977 Tue, 22 May 2018 10:04:42 +0000 Mrsbells 2823977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: wow that would really bother me. Pool safety is my number one concern and I cant stand when people take very casual approach to it. Is there a way you can bring it up before the next class and discuss how you felt about it.</p> <p>Not to take away from your post but i was recently at a pool party for 5 and 6 year olds and my daughter cant swim but was wearing floatation devices. The party was in a hosts home, she has a pool in her backyard with no fence or gate. the host had a pool slide set up and I asked how deep the water was in the pool. she told me the shallowest parts were 2ft and the deepest was 5ft. my daughter went down the slide and started panicking and struggling and going under the water. DH jumped in fully clothed to get her and he started struggling too! turns out that section of the pool was actually about 10ft and some parts of the pool were even deeper!! DH jumped in thinking it wasnt that deep and was getting sucked under since he had his clothes on! the whole thing was very traumatizing for them both and for me watching them go under. this host saw nothing wrong with it and just laughed the whole thing off, it was her husband who later mentioned that the pool was much deeper than she had initially said. not long after this another girl fell into the pool and also nearly drowned! Very very disturbing behavior for pool owners. people dont realize how easily things can go downhill in a pool </p>