https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 17 May 2026 09:12:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279692 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:06:04 +0000 Mrs. Blue 279692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: I agree about just thanking her for the flowers. As for baysitting, since she hasn't babysat for LO before, I could see how she might not pick up on the hint or offer without being asked directly at some point. I would just have DH ask next time to make sure it's clear! I hope your birthday was good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279497 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 23:56:19 +0000 looch 279497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DId you specifically ask for her to babysit? I find if I don't ask my MIL, she won't just come out and offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279392 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 20:18:07 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 279392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. Ignore and just simply thank her for the flowers.<br /> As far as babysitting goes...she probably doesn't want to for some reason and whatever..that's ok. I honestly wouldn't want her babysitting....she will only find more pass/agg things to say and you don't need the headache. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279367 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 19:18:52 +0000 DigAPony 279367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto on taking the high road and just thanking her for the flowers. Also, about babysitting, next time I'd just ask her, or have your husband ask. Sometimes we think hints are obvious, but that's not always the case (as I've learned with my husband). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279310 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 17:17:51 +0000 Sweet T 279310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone else. I would just thank her for the flowers and ignore her comment. If she's made comments like this before, she's probably looking for a reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279307 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 16:33:24 +0000 regberadaisy 279307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eek. Just thank for the flowers and ignore!</p> <p>As for the babysitting maybe she didn't get the hint? Why don't you just have your husband ask? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279243 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 13:48:49 +0000 SugarplumsMom 279243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, I thought so. I normally just ignore it. That's what I've done the whole time. I just don't get why she'd send flowers when she'd write such a comment? Maybe she knows I hate purple (the whole thing is purple, even the vase!) Hahah :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279242 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 13:44:13 +0000 sorrycharlie 279242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with mamamoose. my grandmother is sooo obnoxiously passive aggressive and I just blatantly ignore her. it works so much better than addressing it, because she wants attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279241 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 13:43:29 +0000 MamaMoose 279241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just thank her for the flowers and leave at that. When people are passive aggressive with me I usually just completely ignore the behaviour because the attention is what they are looking for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-respond#post-279238 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 13:37:46 +0000 SugarplumsMom 279238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First off, I have to say that before the email (see below), I was just about to thank her for the flowers, and completely ignored the rest.</p> <p><u>Tiny bit of back story</u>: MIL asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday and I responded that a friend of mine suggested having a day for ourselves, hinting for her to offer to babysit. She ignored what I said and just asked about the cake (they like to bring a cake and we all have coffee). I told her I wasn't sure and she responded that we can postpone it for another weekend, but not after the 2nd week of Sept because they're leaving for a trip to France.</p> <p>I didn't push it any further and although I was a little disappointed, she has a right to say no. But she loves to hold LO, she's the first grandchild and I thought she'd like some alone time with her for once, she never babysat before. I should mention that English isn't her first language, but she speaks it fluently and her own SIL (my aunt) was with us at the time and my aunt understood what she meant completely. When her and I (aunt) were alone, she suggested asking BIL to babysit for us.</p> <p>Fast forward to my birthday. I got a call for a flower delivery! I really appreciate the gesture and at first thought it was from SIL since I sent her flowers for her birthday. It was from MIL instead and in the same purple color she seems to like so much (it's not my favorite color). But it was nice of her, I was just about to thank her ... then I read this message she sent through FB:</p> <p>"Hope You have a wonderful birthday even if we are not visiting this weekend. Hugs from both of us"</p> <p>Umm ... okay. If it wasn't obvious from the above, we don't really get along too well. There is no way I would have spent my birthday preparing for them to visit. LO's only 2 months old and still a handful! They'd probably expect a longer visit and there is no way we have the energy to cook, clean and fix the yard (which DH would feel entitled to do or else they'd comment on it). So either she REALLY thinks I'd miss her company or she's pulling one of her passive aggressive comments meaning she's disappointed that they couldn't come over and see the baby. Which, BTW, we'd visited them twice during the past week!</p> <p>How would you respond? Just a thank you for the flowers and ignore the rest? Say thank you and wait until the next meeting and hint about babysitting again? Say how nice it was to have a day to ourselves as a little family? Say how DH's been killing himself all day because he's not used to being with the baby while I took a break? </p> <p>*Note* I know it might seem like I'm way over thinking this, but this isn't the first time she's given pass/aggressive comments and there is also a back story (that I won't get into) where she'd hurt me tremendously and had walked over the line. </p>