https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 02:18:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612354 Sun, 28 Aug 2016 21:07:10 +0000 LemonJack 2612354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but there were parts of it I was dreading, like having to be the sole provider of food, so I understand where you're coming from. DH and I had an agreement where he dealt with all of the diaper changes those early days, to try to at least make up for some of the inequality.</p> <p>I will say that the first couple of months were difficult for me, but I'm so glad I kept at it. It turned into such a great experience. Nursing was so incredibly comforting to DD, and those moments together are some of my favorite memories. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612271 Sun, 28 Aug 2016 15:54:57 +0000 MoonMoon 2612271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I'm so happy for you! Go mama! It's cool to get an update, and your experience sounds a lot like mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612163 Sun, 28 Aug 2016 06:59:58 +0000 Pollywog 2612163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, and I know this will win me mother of the year, but whatever. After the first feeding LO cosleeps. He can roll over, lift my shirt, latch on, eat, and unlatch without waking me up. Compare that to going downstairs and making a bottle when the first month is hell :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612104 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:48:58 +0000 Truth Bombs 2612104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally agree with Kemma's point about focusing on the fact that it's the biologically normal way to feed a human baby. I doubt anyone can say they loved every single moment of breastfeeding. It's a lot of work, can be painful, and it's emotionally draining. But if you go in not expecting every moment to be amazing, and knowing you are doing it because it's the way your body is meant to feed your baby, it's easier to deal when you hit challenges. I faced pretty much every challenge you can think of (flat nipples necessitating nipple shields, small babies with tiny mouths and painful shallow latch, food intolerances to everything under the sun and strict elimination diets, babies who never slept and only wanted the boob at night, pumping while working full time in a male dominated field, clogged ducts, mastitis, having to sacrifice using drugs that were helpful to me like Xanax and allergy meds) but my daughter was EBF until she switched to whole milk at 12 months and still nursed morning and night for a few more months after that, and my 9 month old is EBF at the moment and I plan to continue as long as my supply holds out. There are certainly parts about it that are great (less bottle washing, easy peasy to calm a fussy baby) but I do it for the sake of getting breastmilk to my kid, and that's what I focus on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612098 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:27:11 +0000 Littlebit7 2612098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: this is good advice. I and others agree that for many women it doesn't just come naturally. It is/was HARD. Physically, emotionally, ugh. I set small goals for myself (one more week, one more month). That first month is draining in a myriad of ways. If I had set a lofty goal at day one of "breastfeeding until one year" I don't think I could have stuck with it, clawing towards that golden standard. I dealt with a lot of not fun crap associated with BF, did the best I could, and stopped when I just couldn't give any more. I'm happy I did it, fought for it, and had the experience but I'm also very happy I stopped when I needed to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612089 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:02:34 +0000 Amorini 2612089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Thanks for your update! I'd describe my thoughts about bf-ing similar to how you did pre-baby. I'm 36w (another ETA: 35 weeks not 36...haha!) and I'm preparing to bf, though more because I think I should than because I want to. I'm happy to hear that you and others found it to be a positive experience!</p> <p>ETA--<br /> caterw: Yes, "gross and invasive" is how I secretly think of it when it comes to my body. "Beautiful and natural" for everyone else! Glad it worked out for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612088 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:02:32 +0000 caterw 2612088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started breastfeeding for the same reason- it's better for the baby according to medical advice. The women in my family all breastfeed and I did feel a little pressure from them to at least try. I secretly thought it was a little gross and invasive, as well as dreading being the only person who could feed DD (meaning the only person who would get up in the middle of the night). Well... I ended up nursing for 20 months and loved it!!! After I started, I thought of it as sweet and a nice way to bond with DD plus it calmed her down like nothing else would. I ended up supplementing formula when I went back to work- pumping was not successful for me. I found using a lot of bottles to be a total PITA. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to/page/2#post-2612073 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 19:27:36 +0000 Pollywog 2612073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 6.5 month old and was dreading breastfeeding. My SIL gave me the advice to do everything necessary to make it work for the first month, then go from there. If pumping doesn't work, there's no harm in supplementing with formula. There's no harm in exclusively pumping so you're only pumping 4 times a day. </p> <p>Also, focus on the positives. There's no bottles to wash, it's way easier to feed at night, and you burn tons of calories. </p> <p>Our story is ever we had our challenges (food allergies and bottle refusal), but it has been really smooth. He's gaining great and we find it so much easier than bottle feeding. And pumping has been way less of a burden than I expected </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612072 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 19:27:00 +0000 pregnantbee 2612072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I love this post. Thanks so much for updating. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612070 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 19:11:01 +0000 MrsADS 2612070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@desertdreams88 yeah! So happy for you mama! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612065 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 18:43:54 +0000 Alba4 2612065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ironically, I really wanted to be successful with breastfeeding both my boys, but between mastitis, tongue/ties, bloody, cracked nipples, and bad latches, I lacked success. I tried it all with the first kid... Osteopaths, Lactation consultants, you name it... Ended up pumping. This time around with #2, after a week or two, I was supplementing and pumping. I've learned to accept that breastfeeding didn't come naturally for me and that it isn't worth the stress or self-inflicting guilt.</p> <p>Yes, breastmilk is "best" for baby, but having your sanity is worth it too. Pumping sucks...especially exclusive pumping. I'm also a teacher and between sacrificing your prep time and meeting time all for pumping... It's really hard! I'm sort of rambling... You have to find out what works for you. I lasted only 2 months pumping at work. I do know lots of people that pumped for a year though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612030 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 17:17:09 +0000 starlitsky 2612030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww that's great! I'm really enjoying it too! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612023 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 16:55:15 +0000 Cherrybee 2612023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: This is so wonderful to hear! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2612020 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 16:47:17 +0000 DesertDreams88 2612020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm bumping this to encourage anyone else in the same situation. It turns out that I love breastfeeding and I have been so pleasantly surprised by the entire experience. Those hormones are dang powerful, yo!! Baby is 7 months old today and has had 99% breastmilk since day 1. We used formula a few times the first week and during travel. I have been very lucky with little mastitis &amp; clogged ducts and never any engorgement, leaking, or latch issues (stuff we hear a LOT about on HB.)</p> <p>Some things I enjoyed:<br /> - Cuddles with LO (he's not snuggly, except when nursing)<br /> - Knowing he was getting all his nourishment from me (this was very gratifying after troubles getting and staying pregnant)<br /> - His cute hand motions and faces while nursing<br /> - The health benefits (I personally believe these are minimal, but it helps my anxious heart when disease comes around)<br /> - It's somewhat free (ignoring pump accessories, bottles, and extra calories for mom)<br /> - Totally natural &amp; made for baby</p> <p>I now am almost exclusively pumping due to work &amp; LO's eating habits/schedule, and I don't know where we're going from here. I know we'll be introducing formula soon and I have no qualms about it, but I wouldn't trade the past 7 months for anything</p> <p>Hopefully the outcome of this thread encourages someone who might be in a similar original boat! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2366657 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 08:34:26 +0000 brownepiano 2366657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't super excited about it, but I never really had any bad problems other than nursing strikes. I was a mostly SAHM so pumping for when I was gone wasn't hard. However I never considered formula because we couldn't afford it. I'm not sure what we would have done if I'd actually had problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2366565 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 23:52:35 +0000 CRGmama 2366565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following!</p> <p>I thought I would BF my son until a year, and had no intention of formula feeding. Well, he had a really shallow latch and after a series of setbacks I found breastfeeding to be so challenging. I started supplementing due to lack of weight gain at 8 weeks. We muddled through until 6 months when he really started to drop off in weight percentiles. Breastfeeding and pumping were much, MUCH harder than I expected and I never liked it. At 6 months I cut down to only BFing in the morning and before bed. I did that for 2 more months and then we quit. And frankly I feel like we were both so much happier after that. I'm currently pregnant with our second and breastfeeding is one of my biggest stressors going into it. I definitely am going to try, but I will be easier on myself this time. </p> <p>I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, and I have lots of friends who have continued well past 12 months. However, after my personal experience I have really come to understand that it's just not for every parent/child. There shouldn't be any judgement in the breastfeeding v formula debate; we're all just doing our best! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2366150 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 13:55:07 +0000 Purpledaisy 2366150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot of the same feelings as you. I don't come from a family who breastfeeds and I didn't really have friends that breastfed. Reading about it made me stressed out and I was stressed out thinking about what my pumping situation would be like at work. </p> <p>Then I ending up EBF for 20 months. </p> <p>My advice is just to try it. At first I didn't even want to give it a try at the hospital but once I was there it was like well, why not, I guess! It ended up really working out for us and I'm glad that I have it a try.</p> <p>I spent way to much time stressing over breastfeeding or formula feeding. I think it's hard to know how you will feel before you have the baby. Wait until you're there to make a decision. Either choice is a good one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365998 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 07:06:21 +0000 catomd00 2365998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you haven't even done it yet, I'd keep an open mind. I Didn't feel strongly about it either before I did it. Now at 21 months and 13 weeks pregnant I'm kind of over it but keep going because it's important to my daughter. You may end up loving it or hating it, you won't know until you try. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365970 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 01:23:09 +0000 LindsayLou 2365970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did grow up in a breastfeeding culture, and it has always been normal to me. Even so, I was not thrilled at the prospect. I knew I wanted to do it, but wasn't exactly looking forward to it. I thought it would hurt, be difficult, be a challenge. I was concerned about breastfeeding in public. </p> <p>I have been pleasantly surprised. Did it hurt at first? Yes, absolutely. But that didn't last. Is it still sometimes a pain? Sure. Was I self conscious at first? Of course. But I got used to it all. It now seems totally normal.</p> <p>As for unbalanced care, you definitely have a point. But I believe that all parents figure out their different roles and strengths and tasks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365965 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 00:19:46 +0000 BabyTsMom 2365965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BF never appealed to me, ever. I did, however, want to give it a shot due to its many touted benefits. So, I did. It was not easy in the beginning. We had a lot of latch issues and I resented that I was the only one who had to get up motn to feed (in my DH's defense, he always offered to get up and give LO a bottle).... long story short, I never felt a magical bond during BF. In fact, I loved giving LO bottles bc I could actually look at him whereas when he was nursing I couldn't really look into his eyes much.<br /> It just so happened that LO weaned himself at 6 months (my goal was anywhere from 6-12 months)- I really don't think it was a "nursing strike," but rather an actual self-weaning. And you know what? I was much happier after he did. He was already sttn by month 5, so motn wakeups weren't an issue. It's just that by the time he was 6 months, I was ready to have my body back and not worry about what clothes I could wear that would allow easy nursing, etc etc. Life got easier for me at that point. We're one and done, but if I was to have another, I probably wouldn't even make it to 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365947 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 23:10:14 +0000 Mamasig 2365947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before my 1st, I took a breastfeeding class and thought I would do it for a year. Well, it was not what I expected and I quit after 3 weeks. I tried again with DS2 and quit after 2 weeks. I'm now pregnant again and honestly don't think I'll even try. I don't like it all, really. But I wouldn't have known that if I didn't try. I would go into it with an open mind, and it's totally ok to quit if you want to. My boys are healthy and smart and they really don't care that they had formula! Being a mom is hard enough, don't be even harder on yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365924 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 22:12:57 +0000 Charm54 2365924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say keep an open mind (about all of your options.) I wasn't super excited about BFing but decided to give it a shot- turns out we did have issues, I didn't love it - and that's okay. I thought I would formula feed full time but I'm actually one of those weird people who enjoys pumping :silly: never thought I would be an EPer by choice, but here I am pumping for my second child and using formula if I need to supplement. </p> <p>There are lots of ways to feed your child - you might fall in love with BFing like a lot of women do, you might enjoy the cost effectiveness of pumping, you might love the flexibility of formula feeding... Take each day at a time and see what works best for you and your baby. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365885 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:58:34 +0000 lilteacherbee 2365885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't think I would enjoy BFing at all. Before my first, I wanted to try, but I wasn't exactly excited about it. However, I truly loved it and I'm so glad I gave it a chance! We EBF for 13 months and now I'm 3.5 months into it with my second (no major issues aside from using a shield with LO1),</p> <p>I was a teacher when I had LO1 and it was fine. Not exactly convenient to pump, but it was nice to get those breaks away from the kids ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365884 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:56:54 +0000 ElbieKay 2365884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never seriously considered using formula. Pretty much all of my friends breastfed, and I just assumed I would, too.</p> <p>I never *loved* breastfeeding, but my kid sure did. I had this very anti-formula idea in my head, and it never went away, so I breastfed out of stubbornness. I never even researched formula; I just generally dislike the idea of processed food, and formula seemed like an extension of that. (I realize this is a completely irrational view, and I definitely don't judge formula feeders. I just couldn't get comfortable with the idea for myself.)</p> <p>I did a lot of pumping at first because my son had a very painful-for-me latch for about eight weeks. I really hated pumping, and it ultimately made me grateful for nursing because it is equipment-free. Getting up in the middle of the night was, for me, waaaaaay easier to tolerate when I could keep the lights off and remain half asleep during the feed while sitting peacefully in the glider. Hooking up to a pump in the middle of the night felt horrible. I imagine formula feeding is similar since you have to prep a bottle, but I never did it.</p> <p>I loved the fact that I could take the baby anywhere with just a few diapers and a change of clothes and not worry about having the right supplies to feed him. I like traveling light.</p> <p>I did get exhausted and stressed out from being the baby's only food source for so long. Even if you are apart from your baby for a feed, you still need to pump, so you never truly get a break for more than a couple of hours.</p> <p>To be honest, I think the combination feeders are the smartest. (I never tried that, but I assume it's best to wait a couple of months to introduce combination feeding because you would need to establish your supply.) That seems like the best way to capture the benefits and conveniences of both breast- and formula feeding. Maximum flexibility while retaining the benefits of giving your baby breastmilk.</p> <p>If I have a second child, I will probably attempt another EBF baby because I will still have the same stubborn streak. But the demands of juggling two kids plus a full time job may make that an even more unrealistic goal then before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365882 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:52:38 +0000 Mrs. J 2365882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fwiw, I am a teacher who only pumps twice a day while at work because that's all my schedule allows, same as with my first, and I made it work. So don't think you have to miss all of that if you pump.</p> <p>Either way, you will choose what's best for you and your baby and your baby will be happy and healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365881 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:51:25 +0000 Eko 2365881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that you will make whatever choice feels right to you. I completely flipped flopped back and forth about the whole thing. The bonding seemed really appealing but I wasn't so sold.</p> <p>At first I bf, pumped, and supplemented with formula as DS had weight gain issues. Because I didn't feel strongly about bf'ing I wasn't commuting to pumping during the night and my supply never really established. Also DS developed reflux but we had to eliminate dairy allergy and I definitely wasn't commuted enough to do an elimination diet, so that's when we made a complete switch to formula.</p> <p>With that said I noticed that the reflux wasn't as bad when he did have the breastmilk. My supply never was established enough to feed him 100%. So if I knew ahead that breastmilk would've made a difference I would've tried harder to stick with it. It sort of is the only thing I regret. I will make a greater effort to bf my next baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365879 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:45:04 +0000 blackbird 2365879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you really don't want to, don't feel like you have to make yourself do it! I felt really ambivalent about it for a few months and only really came to "enjoy" it once I was back at work, it got easier, and time passed a bit. It's convenient and provides me a forced quiet break with him. BUT I bottle fed my first and equally enjoyed that, in different ways :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365872 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:37:27 +0000 runnerd 2365872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not exactly the question you asked, but my answer is that I didn't want to, so I didn't. I researched a lot, told myself I would for months, then realized, no I'm following my gut that our life will be better if I don't force myself to do something I don't want to due to fear of judgement. No regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365858 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:01:42 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2365858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: You 100% described how I was while pregnant. I was really ambivalent for many reasons. My son just turned one, and I EBF the entire year! I think a big piece of what helped me is that I took a BF class during pregnancy, and when I considered all the benefits (best for baby, free, convenient, etc.) I figured it was worth it to try my best. Even though it took us a few months to get into a rhythm, I"m thrilled to have done it, and really encourage all moms to give it a try. This is a 180 from where I was before I had my son. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk more or ask questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/howd-you-handle-nursing-if-you-didnt-really-want-to#post-2365855 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 19:51:34 +0000 MrsADS 2365855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was really important to me to BF... for health reasons, the bonding, etc. etc. That being said, now that I am at 3 months EBF, I think my #1 favorite thing about BFing that was not really on my radar that much is the convenience. I am so sleep deprived and never have time to do anything that I cannot imagine having to prep bottles, washing, all the extra work! I just feed the baby. For me anyway, once I was able to get past the first few weeks of difficulty/some pain - and it is a steep learning curve- it's SO easy and convenient. I know this isn't the case for everyone, though. </p>