https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 08:09:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1826195 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:16:00 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1826195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1824609 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 02:20:35 +0000 lamariniere 1824609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 7 years ago, so I can relate. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1824353 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 20:28:49 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1824353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fryxie: thank you. I've decided that I won't be taking the Xanax. I'm just praying and taking things one day at a time. We'll be leaving everything in God's hands and what shall be shall be. Yesterday morning was really hard for me, but my DH reminded me that my dad would tell me to cheer up, pray and keep going. So that's what I did. I still paused a few times throughout the day and felt a heavy heart. We also received my dad's ashes yesterday so that was surreal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1824338 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 20:23:01 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1824338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@simplyfelicity: No. I have two boys 11yrs and 6yrs. I had two mc last year. My second mc was twins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1821733 Mon, 18 Aug 2014 14:04:25 +0000 babybronco 1821733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss, so incredibly sorry. </p> <p>Don't take the xanax if you think you're pregnant. I have xanax and zoloft (been on them since I was 15) and my doc told me I'd have to get rid of the xanax when I got pregnant (we're ttc). </p> <p>Let your primary know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1821708 Mon, 18 Aug 2014 13:54:49 +0000 MaryM 1821708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: I am so sorry for your loss. </p> <p>I don't think you mentioned it, but are you in any sort of therapy?</p> <p>My dad had brain cancer several years ago (he died in 2009), and I totally know what you're saying about it hurting so bad it physically hurts. I went to my PCP at one point because I SWORE I had mono. It felt just like when I had it in college. I was physically achey and just felt...sick. When the test came back negative and my doctor told me he couldn't find anything wrong with me, I totally broke down in his office and he prescribed me xanax. </p> <p>I told a friend about it (who'd also lost her father to the same cancer) and she suggested I go to therapy as well. The medicine was just a bandaid to deal with the pain for now. But I needed to learn how to cope with it through therapy.</p> <p>DH and I weren't even married yet so we weren't TTC at the time, so I did find the drugs helpful, but eventually I started feeling numb while on them and weaned off. </p> <p>I hope you have lots of support to help you through this really awful time. I know how much it can totally suck to have to deal with the new normal of a parent not being there. </p> <p>I think a T-shirt quilt is an amazing idea. I made one for my dad when he was sick and I treasure it now. </p> <p>If you need someone to talk to, feel free to wall me and I'll give you my email address. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc/page/2#post-1821687 Mon, 18 Aug 2014 13:44:28 +0000 alohaorchid 1821687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820213 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 13:07:07 +0000 skipra 1820213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I went through a very similar experience a couple months before conceiving our first boy. I do not know anything about the medication but just want to say I am thinking of you during this very difficult time.<br /> It probably doesn't help much, but after my m/c and passing of my stepdad, I got pregnant most likely in his birthday which was n entire week early for my cycle. I truly believe it was a gift from him and happened when it was meant to. Sending you many hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820206 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:52:43 +0000 simplyfelicity 1820206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: Of course, that's what this place is all about! Just out of curiosity, are you TTC for your first baby? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820193 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:42:46 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@simplyfelicity: I agree with you. Sorry about your loss. I Know I have to just let the Lord do what He needs to do. My dad used to say "GAP", God always provides. Talking to you all really has given me some clarity. I ask that the Lord blesses you all for being so kind to a stranger. Love you all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820183 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:37:46 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: thank you. I spoke to my husband he wants me to do what I feel comfortable with. I desperately want another baby, but I also don't want to harm a baby. After two mc I know I'll always paranoid throughout the pregnancy. I'll just pray about it and see what the doctor says. I too am sorry for the loss of your mother. Praying God gives us peace and comfort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820174 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:26:08 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NurseMommy: thank you nurse mommy. I pray every night that God give me my dad's strength to get through the next day. I guess the saying rings true " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820169 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:19:58 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: thank you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820167 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:19:32 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: I was going to start a scrap book and a t shirt quilt cause he had a bunch of t shirts. I always found crafts therapeutic and I'm hoping it will help thinking of all the great times. All of you ladies have really helped me out. I don't really talk to my mom or sister about how devastated I really am because I was always considered the strong one. It's a lot of pressure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820164 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:13:36 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1820164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: thank you. I'm going to do that before I take anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820075 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 09:40:55 +0000 simplyfelicity 1820075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: That's absolutely amazing. :heart:<br /> As far as feeling the "clock ticking," a few months in the grand scheme of things won't change your family plans. I has a D &amp; C on Monday and I turn 30 in October and I feel pressure on myself but I know, like everything, God has a plan. He has it figured out already. I was really freaked out and did a poll of Bees who had their first babies post 30 and was so relieved! Here is the link if you would like to check it out.<br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-their-first-lo-past-30" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-their-first-lo-past-30</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820056 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 08:58:28 +0000 catlady 1820056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: I'm so so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago, and it hurt more than anything else in the world (including my m/c). I went through so many of the emotions you are describing. But I just wanted to say that it does get better. It may take a really long time, but it will. Please take care of yourself and don't be afraid to grieve and to continue to get help from others. </p> <p>I would definitely call your doctor if you are going to continue to ttc, although you may want to take a break for yourself. But I can also understand how loss makes us want to bring new life into the world (after my mom died, I wanted to immediately ttc, even though we weren't really ready yet). Btw, 30 is young these days! I had my LO at 32.</p> <p>Right now, 4 years later, I still miss my mom with all my heart, but when I think of her, the many happy memories definitely outweigh the pain that I have that she's gone. I wish the same for you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1820042 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 08:42:03 +0000 NurseMommy 1820042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: hey there, I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad after a three week battle with cancer a year and a half ago while I was six months pregnant and honestly thought I would die from the pain. </p> <p>I second what pp have said about taking care of yourself. It is so important at a time like this. And yes, it does get easier. Not easy, but easier. I still have lots of days where it feels like the loss punches me in the gut, but I also have days where I'm able to just happily remember the good times with him. Please feel free to wall me if you ever need to talk. And again, I'm so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819949 Sun, 17 Aug 2014 02:20:11 +0000 birdofafeather 1819949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice just hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819842 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:52:06 +0000 Cole 1819842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: I so wish I could take that hurry away for you but I can't and I also know it's part of the process. I hadn't thought about it but your friend's words reflect my experience too, it was actually peaceful and a bit of a relief when he actually passed but the days and weeks afterwards we're unlike anything I can explain. I swear all of a sudden I wanted to call him or text him or visit him 100 times a day even though I wouldn't have before. Things like dessert he would have liked, jokes he would have enjoyed, silly gadgets in sky mall, all of it made me cry for months. I was 30 when he passed away too and I completely get the biological clock thing, my rational brain could tell me I had time but there isn't much rational about a grieving and hormonal brain!</p> <p>It has helped me to start filling a box with things that remind me of him, the cards people sent, a letter he wrote, some photos etc. I was slightly worried it would be upsetting to me to have it out but I find it comforting like a family photo or something and it helps me to add things to it as I find them as opposed to them just floating around my house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819837 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:45:16 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1819837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending prayers. I agree with your plan to call your doctor. They might be able to prescribe a safer med since you are TTC. Big hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819830 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:40:47 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1819830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: thank you. I know it will always be difficult and I hate that. When my dad was getting really sick and a friend who lost her father said at the moment of his passing it would be hard, but that it would get harder in the days and weeks after and oh was she right. I've never lost someone so close to me I don't know how to feel. It's like a roller coaster that won't stop. I think he'll walk through the door and then it hits me that I won't see him again until I meet him in heaven. I nearly had a nervous breakdown at the grocery store today because I seen a desert that he liked. I can't wait until I can wake up and feel okay with it all. I'm only 30 and for some reason I feel like I'm on the clock to have a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819817 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:29:26 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1819817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Pinecone316: many thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819816 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:28:57 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1819816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@simplyfelicity: oh my was he special. I feel extremely blessed to have a dad like him. He was a prison minister. Yeah, I know! He couldn't turn his back on anyone. He would say God could save anyone who wanted saving. At his funeral I found out one of the prisoners he talked to came out and became pastor of his own church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819809 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:24:41 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1819809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: all of you ladies are so kind. Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819804 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:21:55 +0000 ChasingARainbow 1819804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@OpinionsLikeKittens: thanks. I'm going to call my doctor first thing Monday morning. I just always feel like I'm about to explode. I think I'm going to have to have a talk with my DH and take a ttc vacation. It doesn't seem fair to my unborn baby to be a wreck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819797 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:18:10 +0000 Cole 1819797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Big hugs to you, I lost my dad to cancer almost two years ago and it is such am extremely difficult things to go through. If you ever need to chat feel free to wall me. </p> <p>Everyone's journey with grief is so different but I was desperate for numbers- when would I stop hysterically crying multiple times a day and when could I talk about him without losing it etc. At the 6-8 week mark it lightened a little and around three months I could feel the clouds changing from dark stormy gray to overcast. It is easier now but still hard. </p> <p>We thought about TTC during the time my dad was terminally ill and ultimately waited for a few reasons, we are now expecting a little one just a few days before his birthday and a few weeks before the anniversary of him passing away. I 110% understand wanting to try while you're grieving but I also know we made the right choice to wait. I got really sick when I got pregnant and I think the physical and mental anguish from the grief and the misery of the first trimester would have pushed me over the edge. Definitely take great care of yourself or let your dh take care of you when you just can't. Talk to your doctor about the medication and if they say it's OK use that tool to help you through this time. </p> <p>Best wishes and lots of positive thoughts are being sent your way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819793 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:09:32 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 1819793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im so sorry for your loss. Couldn't imagine.. praying for peace and comfort for you. Hoping you get your little miracle soon. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819792 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:08:30 +0000 simplyfelicity 1819792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChasingARainbow: You are "preaching to the choir." This is something I have struggled with my whole life. Letting go of control. I am in such a broken place right now that it is difficult for me to pray. I just ask Jesus to "carry me." I have no other words and I know He doesn't need more than that. My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry. Your father was, obviously, a special man. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/huge-loss-and-ttc#post-1819787 Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:02:42 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1819787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh honey I am so sorry!!!! :heart: </p>