https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 10 Aug 2026 17:24:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563504 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:29:11 +0000 sarac 563504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, my husband doesn't really have a romantic bone in his body. And he is a very sweet, kind, and caring man. I got over it years ago, and now in general we just tell each other what to do, or decide on something fun to do together. Waaaaaay easier to just adjust than to be sad every year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563482 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:22:59 +0000 pui 563482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: We kind of do the same thing, the trouble is that he makes me tell him exactly what I want in incredible detail. If I just say "Hey for my birthday, could you plan a nice night out?" he will be like "Okay, what restaurant, at what time, and what colour tie would you like me to wear?" lol. And then, while the evenings are always nice and I love spending that time with him, it's like I planned it for myself anyway. Same with gifts, I told him I wanted a moissanite eternity band as a right hand ring and he had me go online and pick the exact ring I wanted. Then he just bought it for me 4 months later. I would have liked it if he had just picked one himself, but when I told him that he insisted that he didn't want to "mess up" and would rather me pick it myself.</p> <p>I am honestly not as picky as he seems to think I am! Infact, I think I'm pretty easy going and I even kind of like flying by the seat of my pants. Yet he always needs to rigidly outline every "romantic" gesture ahead of time. Overall, I'm happy to just accept that this is the way he is too. I just wish he then wouldn't also complain that he isn't romantic enough on top of that.</p> <p>@Grace: I definitely think that's true! He doesn't seem to realize that being romantic can be incredibly simple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563465 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:13:35 +0000 Grace 563465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha! My husband is the same. In some areas, I've just accepted that he's not the romantic sort and he's not going to do the big romantic gesture. Ever. I focus on the small things. I make a big deal if he buys me flowers, or makes me dinner or does something thoughtful. And it's a long term project (I've been at it for 4 years, so far). Because romance doesn't have to be the big things, and maybe he doesn't realise that. Sometimes, it's just a footrub. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563462 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:13:08 +0000 pui 563462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: Aw man heart shaped napkins!? That is so adorable!!! ;___; </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563448 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:07:20 +0000 Lozza 563448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also almost never do presents, and are more likely to do special plans, like "for Valentine's Day, let's splurge on fancy sushi takeout and then rent a movie." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563445 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:05:51 +0000 Lozza 563445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is kind of similar- he does tons of thoughtful and nice things, but grand romantic gestures aren't really his thing. Usually he doesn't really worry about it though, and only notices if I get upset about it.<br /> While I often wish that he could read my mind and come up with something often, I find that we are both happier if I give him some direction, like if I tell him "This year for Valentine's Day, could you look into restaurants and make us a reservation at a nice fun one that we wouldn't normally go to?" or "I could really use a new silver watch with a white dial and little to no other ornamentation, I'd love for you to pick one out for me as my present."<br /> I've also had to work hard on being honest about my expectations for special occasions- I used to say things like "oh, it doesn't matter if we do anything" and then totally get upset if my birthday was really lame. He doesn't like to be told exactly what to do (like, he doesn't want a shopping list that he has to fill instead of me), but he appreciates being told "here is a general idea of something that would make me really happy if you did it." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563432 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:00:46 +0000 Bookish 563432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: I know, right??! And OMG napkins into hearts? I die. so freaking cute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563429 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 10:59:44 +0000 Reese 563429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: "Now, mind you, if he had said propane, I would have been all over it" LOL.. He was SO close :) </p> <p>@pui: Blargh. Does he normally say he doesnt know what to do and do something less than stellar, something last minute or nothing at all? When DH pulls that on me "arghhh I dont know!" I tell him that if he put half of the time he spent looking at sports stats into researching an idea he wouldn't be stressed about it at all :) Half kidding of course. I know he just gets overwhelmed that it wont be grand enough or that I wont enjoy it which is crazy because I tear when he cuts my napkins into hearts for breakfast. &lt;----- HUGE SAP </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563411 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 10:53:35 +0000 Bookish 563411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha! Sounds JUST like my husband, who wanted to give me a charcoal grill for Valentine's day this year &gt;.&lt; Now, mind you, if he had said propane, I would have been all over it, because I'm a wuss and charcoal scares me, which he knows!!! </p> <p>Anyways, some men (and women!) just aren't good at it. I haven't gotten flowers in years lol. That being said, every other aspect of my husband is beyond stellar, so I try not to give him too hard of a time ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563403 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 10:50:41 +0000 .twist. 563403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hm. I am the same way as your husband. I am terrible with cute/sexy ideas that he would enjoy. I usually feel badly about it and its hard when he tells me what I can do or that I do t have to do anything because then it just doesn't feel genuine. I totally get it, I wish I had some advice but I'm still trying to figure it out myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563390 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 10:46:09 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 563390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's as smart as you say, I would think he could Google some ideas to at least get *something*. It kind of sounds like there's something else going on, besides that he can't come up with any ideas. Have you sat down with him and asked him why this particular year is so hard for him? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-is-romantically-impaired#post-563377 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 10:41:40 +0000 pui 563377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey everyone!</p> <p>My husband just doesn't have a knack for romance. He's very intelligent and resourceful in other ways, but trying to think of some cutesy surprise for me just isn't his strong suit. Grand romantic gestures are not his thing, lol. :)</p> <p>Sometimes it bothers me a little, especially since all my friends' husbands seem fantastic at romance, but overall I love my husband exactly the way he is and fully accept that he's just not that kind of guy!</p> <p>However, with valentine's day tomorrow and our 1 year anniversary this weekend, my husband seems to be feeling inadequate. For the last week or so he's been looking at me with sad eyes, sighing and saying "I don't know what to do for you!". I try to respond by saying I love him and he doesn't need to get or do anything (He really doesn't, we're already going on a mini vacation this weekend) but then he grunts in frustration. So, I tried suggesting he just get me flowers or a small gift. His response to that is basically that wouldn't be good enough because I told him to get it, thus it isn't romantic or grand enough for our anniversary. I told him that that doesn't bother me and I would like that just fine and he replies "It bothers ME though!"</p> <p>How can I convince my husband he really doesn't have to do anything and that's totally fine? </p>