https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 12 Jun 2026 21:49:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426459 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 23:55:00 +0000 erwoo 426459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't want to cuddle up with him but I did want him to bond with our sons and help me out with changing diapers since I had a c-section with both. I can't imagine him not being there. Although, with our second, I did tell him that he can go home here and there if he wanted b/c our son was in the nursery under the bili lights pretty much the entire time after hour 14 until the day we were discharged. The nurses changed his diaper right before they brought him to me to nurse so we didn't change his diaper until the day he was discharged and almost had no idea how to even if he's our second son. LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426444 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 23:42:33 +0000 glimmersnaps 426444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never heard of this! DH slept on the couch (snoring I might add) and I slept with DS. </p> <p>I was glad he was there, though because at the crack of dawn the nurse came and took DS for his hearing test. His anti-theft device had somehow fallen off and I woke DH up hysterically yelling that the nurse stole my baby. Lol he raced down to the nursery to put the bracelet back on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426219 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:42:58 +0000 Maysprout 426219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After baby was born was magical. Something significant would have been taken away from him if he'd have been kicked out. </p> <p>LO would stop crying if she heard his voice, he helped bathe her while I got something to eat, and then mistook his nose for a booby (she'd already gotten a booby snack but was ready for another). </p> <p>'m sure they would have bonded just fine if they didn't have that time together but I think those moments where she was learning what her new world entailed it was very important for him to be there. It was important for him to be there too to really jump into fatherhood. He said it's one of his happiest memories, not just her birth but being a family as she explored her new world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426103 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:59:12 +0000 sorrycharlie 426103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I certainly did not want to cuddle, but I wanted him to stay with me (in the room)! I was a bleeding mess..stay away from my bed. lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426065 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:47:31 +0000 prettylizy 426065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't imagine not having him there, he went with Prettybaby when she had her first bath because mama was too tired and we didn't want her out of our sight while we were there. He was there when the LC came in too and would watch baby girl while I showered. He ran and got me drinks from the kitchen. I think it's a family thing, and we need to be together. He did have to sleep on one of those crazy chair bed thingies, but he survived. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426046 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:41:06 +0000 MrsRcCar 426046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH stayed with me the whole time. It was wonderful to have him. We enjoyed snuggling as a new little family. I was too afraid for him to leave. I am not a fan of hospitals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-426014 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:26:35 +0000 brownie 426014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't want to cuddle but I needed him to do the grunt work. I wasn't allowed to do anything after birth because I had passed out. I had lost too much blood so he brought baby to me to feed and changed every diaper in the hospital. How could I care for my baby when I wasn't quite there. I eventually had a blood transfusion but was very weak before that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425937 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:59:36 +0000 sarac 425937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I felt downright amorous that night. It was awesome, and a really special time for us. B was in the nicu, so it was just us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425919 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:49:01 +0000 lemondrop 425919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had to stay a little longer due to high bilirubin, and every time my husband went home to take care off the pets or get food, I would cry. I was fine and strong with him there, but when he left for just a little bit, I was a hormonal wreck. He was my security blanket that everything was going to be ok even though breastfeeding sucked and I could only hold my baby for 20 minutes every 3 hours.</p> <p>I would have loved a queen bed, he was really uncomfortable on the convertible couch they had, and it would have been nicer to be closer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425893 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:27:49 +0000 jedeve 425893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, sharing a room wouldn't be ideal, but I don't think a husband would bother me anymore than anyone else being there. I don't think we would really be paying attention to each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425891 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:25:52 +0000 mrsjyw 425891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never want to have my husband sent home. He got me through so much and helped so much the two nights we were in the hosp.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425852 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:09:25 +0000 travelgirl1 425852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was on a ward with three other women and we were all allowed our husbands to stay. We all pulled our curtains round and no one paid any attention to anyone else... We were all just so caught up with our babies to care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425849 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:08:09 +0000 blackbird 425849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These women conplaining are probably the ones who don't "let" their husbands change diapers because they do it wrong and think raising babies is all women's work lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425845 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:05:37 +0000 mlm2934 425845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my husband had to leave, I'd be so hysterical that they would make an exception! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425822 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:32:17 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 425822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't want to share a room with other women's husbands, but having DH there was clutch! I did want to cuddle and be close as a family of three. We squeezed onto the narrow bed a few hours together to nap while baby was having tests and what not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425678 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:09:19 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 425678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get why women wouldn't want to share a room with "strange" men. Honestly I would be upset to share recovery space with several strange women &amp; their babies!<br /> I'm so glad DH stayed! He got so much bonding time with DS at the hospital! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425660 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:57:32 +0000 yoursilverlining 425660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I had to share a room, I would NOT have wanted some other woman’s husband there. Of course, I wouldn’t have even wanted the other woman there! Our hospital was all private room suites, so my husband could stay if he wanted on his own bed in the room – I definitely would not have wanted to share a bed with him or cuddle in any way. He stayed one night, and then didn’t stay the next night. It was actually sort of nice to be totally alone with LO; it gave us a chance to just be still and quiet together and snuggle and do skin-to-skin and get to know each other without anyone else around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425653 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:53:45 +0000 MegWag 425653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: I can understand that some women wouldn't be comfortable with it. My feeling was, the curtains were closed all the time, so I had plenty of privacy for BF. (Fun fact I never had any sort of exam after I gave birth, beyond the immediately post-birth one. Not even at my 6 week follow up!) There are lots of recovery rooms, which is why I'd make it an option to be in one with men allowed, or not. That way people's comfort level would be respected. ... you know... if I ran the world :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425651 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:53:20 +0000 Bao 425651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have private rooms in our hospital and then a pull out couch for the husbands. I would be DEVASTATED if my DH couldn't stay with me. I'm his wife and that's his newborn baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425649 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:52:08 +0000 Mrs. Train 425649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first pregnancy my husband stayed. We were in a double room that was vacant so he slept there. My parents stayed with my older son at home. My second pregnancy I was at a smaller older hospital where the rooms were very small. He could have stayed on the couch but went home with our three boys. Since I had c sections cuddling or sharing a bed was not high on my priority list but having him around was nice. It was very difficult with my daughter when he went home and I was there by myself and the baby. Getting up and down after the c section was a little tricky. But at that point I knew it was better for him to be home with our boys to help them with the transition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425647 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:51:48 +0000 hilsy85 425647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really wanted DH to be with me. That's the main reason I wanted a private room (he would have had to leave if I had a shared room). Having him there to cry to, whine to, and to share in those special moments during the first two nights was priceless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425642 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:50:17 +0000 rachiecakes 425642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MegWag: if I had to share a room, I absolutely would not want another man around me. I didn't even want my friends to bring their SO's when they were visiting. It was too much for me to learn how to breastfeed, get my episiotomy stitches checked and recover from my high BP, I didn't want anyone but my very closest friends nearby. </p> <p>I had a private room with an additional bed but we live down the street from the hospital and have pets, so DH went home (I was there 5 days). It's cool that he could stay, but we definitely were not cuddling during this time though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425641 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:50:00 +0000 mrsmenow 425641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MegWag: That makes a little more sense. All of the hospitals in my area are private rooms so we luckily don't have to worry about that. I bet it was a huge relief to get home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425633 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:46:32 +0000 MegWag 425633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Totally agree. It was bizarre to me that the NHS policy is basically "Here's your new son.... now come back in the morning."<br /> @bebefly: There is no nursery in NHS hospitals. You are in charge of the baby from the second that fly out of your hoo-ha! Midwives checked in on me from time to time, but it was all me. Which would have made having my husband there especially helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425627 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:44:03 +0000 MegWag 425627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmenow: From what I understand, the reasoning is that you are in a shared recovery room with about 4 other women and their babies. You have curtains separating you from each other, but they don't want other women to be uncomfortable with strange men around. I think a simple fix would be to have some rooms man-free for those that want that.</p> <p>I definitely HATED the one night we spent in recovery and was SO glad to go home the next day. Looking back I don't know how I stayed up for so many hours (I was labour a LONG time and had been up since Wed. AM and left the hospital on Friday PM, so basically 20 mins sleep in all that time!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425622 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:42:21 +0000 Running Elley 425622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital has 2 beds in each recovery room and if both beds are full husbands aren't allowed to stay. Luckily the other bed in my recovery room was vacant so DH could stay with us.</p> <p>And I absolutely wanted DH with us!! That hospital time was special. We were able to bond with E easily knowing that if we had any questions there were nurses right there available!I wouldn't have wanted to be without DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425616 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:39:16 +0000 Honeybee 425616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's really important for partners to be given a chance to stay in the recovery not just because postpartum sucks and you need a lot of help and support, but also because it's an important bonding time for the whole family. If you expect that both partners are going to be involved in the care of that child, why wouldn't both partners to have equal access to the baby from the very beginning?</p> <p>ETA: My husband spend the recovery nights on the pull-out couch, but we spent a lot of the daytime hours on my hospital bed together, anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425615 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:39:05 +0000 sera_87 425615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i definitely wanted him there! to me it made absolutely no sense that I would be left alone to deal with a newborn the first 2 days of LO's life. DH COULD have stayed but that would have meant sleeping in a hospital chair and that's not really an option.</p> <p>Our hospital had a "room in" policy - there was no nursery. Your baby stayed with you 24/7 except for tests and baths. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425612 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:36:04 +0000 mrsmenow 425612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital lets Dad's spend the night. They just did a huge renovation that includes a queen size bed for them to stay in with mom if they want. They give a dinner for two one night as well (steak, potatoes, cheesecake-I am just a little excited!). </p> <p>That is too bad that your hospital has that policy, it should be up to the two of you to decide if he stays or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-in-the-recovery-room#post-425609 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:34:35 +0000 Andrea 425609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We probably don't need to cuddle but I'm sure he would have appreciated being able to sleep in a bed vs the little cot that he was relegated to! And I would want him to stay. For this 2nd time, he might have to be at home with DD so that's fine, but I definitely wanted him there the 1st time. </p>