https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:43:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862647 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 13:29:06 +0000 MrsADS 2862647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anagram I agree and thanks for your perspective. It is helpful for me to put things into perspective, especially re: "attractiveness", sex, etc. It is going to be a fluid/changing thing with young kids. And saying "just lose weight" - it's not that easy. It is really hard. I could see him fairly easily losing 5-10 with lifestyle changes, etc. but I think a more significant weight loss requires a pretty significant diet change and monitoring which is difficult. I think just having him more invested in taking care of himself, REGARDLESS of whether he loses any weight, would make him more attractive to me. I feel like he doesn't care that much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862645 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 12:58:52 +0000 Anagram 2862645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have read threads in other places where the situation is reversed--a husband who doesn't like his wife's weight gain. And generally the advice is that you can't make a person lose weight, they have to want it, and plus people (and I would put myself in this category) get really defensive about weight.</p> <p>And by the way, losing weight isn't easy--I'm actually surprised so many people are saying this is all totally within his control and he should just do it quickly, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. As a person who is about 40 lbs over what I was before kids, and who has done several diets and "lifestyle changes" and has been up and down the scale the last 5 years....there's just so much research to show that once a person has been up to a certain weight, their body will do anything to return to that "set weight". Researchers have tracked people who have lost weight, and most were back up to their high weight 5 years later. And those that weren't had to eat fewer calories a day to maintain a certain weight than a person who had always been that weight without a gain.</p> <p>In any case, losing weight it hard. I would be less than thrilled if my husband were unhappy with my weight and told me he was less attracted to me now. Even if that were true, I would need a solution--like an offer to take over a lot more duties from me so I have time and energy to work out and cook everything from scratch/source different ingredients, or a whole bunch of money so I can outsource the food prep or hire a personal trainer PLUS the money for a babysitter while I do all those things. But the reality is, he can't take on any more in our house himself--he also works a demanding job and is already involved with our kids at home, and there are only so many hours of the day. And we can't really afford a diet meal service or a bunch of extra babysitting hours. And I just can't have one more big thing on my plate right now.</p> <p>I think statistically it's probably more likely to have a wife that has gained weight after having kids, even if that isn't evident on this thread, haha. But I think most of the time, the men are advised to look for qualities other than physical looks when loving their wife, since aging and body changes happen in the course of a long marriage.</p> <p>Health is another facet, but I don't know if him being healthier but not losing weight would increase your attraction-- would it? My husband is not overweight at all, and he has elevated cholesterol and blood pressure. I am overweight now, and I don't have elevated cholesterol or blood pressure. So...who is the unhealthy one? </p> <p>And attraction in a marriage is an interesting thing anyway. My mom friends talk about this a fair amount and almost everyone has way less sexy time now than before kids. And these are couples with varying levels of fitness--in some cases, both spouses are super fit, and they are still less attracted/less romantic. It seems more like the weight and energy of just having kids kills a lot of the romance. But I'm just speculating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862628 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 11:32:15 +0000 snowjewelz 2862628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, for sure. I have a small mommy chat with a few of my close friends and that is their #1 issue with their spouses; that they shouldn't even have to ask (for some things). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862627 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 11:25:13 +0000 MrsADS 2862627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. carrot thanks. I agree it's very frustrating. And my husband is a wonderful guy who is a great dad and really does a ton of stuff, so I don't mean to give the impression that he doesn't care or doesn't want to help. Honestly I don't think he even gets it! Until I snap, which happens more frequently now that I'm sleep deprived with 2 kids. Like my 3yo's preschool had a book exchange and I wrapped the book and he walked by and said "oh, you didn't put his name on it, you need to do that" and as I'm folding laundry, I said "Oh okay, well, you can do that, I was a little busy busy making sure I ordered the book in time from Amazon, doing all the laundry every day, packing everyone's lunches and ordering all the Christmas gifts..." snark. And I know he doesn't *mean* it. I think he's a little oblivious. He will say "what can I do to help you?" and what I want is, I want him to KNOW what to do and not have to ASK. Like yeah, I guess it is marginally helpful if he goes to the grocery store for me, but I still have to make the list, keep tabs on what we need, plan what we'll eat for dinner and what we need for lunches so the list is updated with that stuff, etc. You know how it is. </p> <p>@jennypenny interesting perspective! Thanks. We may try to discuss it sensitively after the holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862623 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 11:06:01 +0000 JennyPenny 2862623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea if this is helpful or not - but I talked to my husband about this and his response was:</p> <p>DH: "Why is she trying to do anything? Shouldn't she just tell him and have him work on losing the weight?"<br /> Me: "But she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. I mean it would hurt to hear that your spouse doesn't like the way you look"<br /> DH: "I don't think so. I mean, he knows he's gained weight. He surely knows it doesn't look good. It's not like she's saying she's *never* liked how he looks. She doesn't like the recent change and its well within his power to fix it. I'd rather someone tell me so I can fix it." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862611 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 10:13:17 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2862611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I totally resonate with your frustration. Years of great therapy helped me figure out that there is only so much I can control, and unfortunately the systematic issues aren't within my control as far as I've been able to figure out (barring divorce, which I'm not quite ready to head toward). I try to focus on what I can control much as I can, so for us that's been talking to my husband about taking on more of the *actual* work, so that the mental+actual workload feels a little less burdensom. But in full transparency, knowing that not only am I carrying all the mental load for the family but also taking responsibility for a human who needs that (the kid) and a human who shouldn't (the husband) does lead me down into resentment regularly. Haven't found solutions that one that either. *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862595 Tue, 18 Dec 2018 08:41:32 +0000 MrsADS 2862595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lctbqe actually you're not threadjacking at all. I think your irritation is similar to mine. Like the weight gain is only part of it. A large part is my frustration that as the "woman" of our family, *I* have to take responsibility for him (and everything else) and he's not doing it, apparently. It IS systemically unfair and it is a symptom of a larger problem in my marriage (and others') where *I'm* carrying the mental burden and responsibility for everything and everyone in our household. I don't know how to fix that so easily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862536 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 18:01:51 +0000 Mrsbells 2862536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I say be honest with him. I'm in a similar situation where DH has gradually gained weight during our marriage and 3 kids and I always lose a lot of the baby weight quickly after. Its something we have talked about many times over the years and he goes through spurts of working on it and then falls off. I am honest with him about it and also about my own body goals. I always suggest things we can do together but the reality of our busy schedules makes it hard </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862520 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 15:59:21 +0000 LCTBQE 2862520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: yeah, I don't disagree with you in the least, I kind of thread-jacked/ranted because I'm irritated at yet another example of wives taking one for the team--at least this is my perception. I think @MrsADS: got some really great advice from pp's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862517 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 15:47:21 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2862517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I think you're exactly right, but it's a question of what's systematic and unfair, and what the situation that needs to be delt with is. Systematically, yes, this is how it usually works. In practical terms, however, it doesn't matter if the tables were reversed, this particular situation has the OP wondering how to deal with her frustrations and disappointment. Big picture, maybe her husband or any of ours' wouldn't give a flip if the tables were turned, but that doesn't help the OP manage her feelings and the situation she's dealing with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862510 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 15:33:59 +0000 LCTBQE 2862510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has gained 25 pounds since we've met and I've gained 5 (and had two kids). I know he's healthy and exercises and it's just garbage weight from drinking beer and eating pastries every morning and the usual slowing metabolism (we're not 20 years old anymore), and honestly I don't mind that much. </p> <p>But my big beef with this thread is that--feel free to tell me if I'm way off base here--1. everyone is feeling so freaking guilty about feeling less attracted, I don't think men bother feeling guilty; and 2. it seems to me it would *not* be okay with husbands-at-large (pun intended) if the tables were turned. I am certain my husband would be quite a bit more bothered than I currently am if I'd gained that weight instead. And how many pp's here are like, "I'm concerned about the long-term health implications here and I'm actually trying to DO something about it for all of us". how many men do you know who are this person in their relationship? A fuck-of-a-lot fewer. I'm annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862445 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 11:27:57 +0000 MrsADS 2862445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for your feedback! I appreciate knowing I am not alone, and agree that this is a complex issue - definitely more deep than just "he gained some weight and doesn't look as good." </p> <p>@gotkimchi @lbee I think your armchair therapizing is spot on, really. Definitely I feel resentful/unhappy sometimes about feeling responsible for so much in the household. And it's NOT to say that he doesn't help or do a lot, he does. But like most women, I carry 90% of the mental load and it is truly exhausting. I feel like I work SO hard to do that, and I think that's why it bothers me that he can't/doesn't seem motivated to take care of himself. I do not want to be responsible for planning healthy meals, family exercise, packing his lunch, etc. I mean I'm glad to do what I can but I feel like I do so much for everyone already. And TBH me feeling unattracted to him is probably like 30% weight and 70% me feeling stressed/resentful about the household. (we've talked btw - he's sympathetic and sometimes defensive - don't think he gets it - not sure how to change it)</p> <p>@chuckles sounds very similar to my husband. He has always been thin but just recently gained the weight. </p> <p>@josina actually buying a bunch of lean cuisines for the freezer is something I would be willing to do. and he would probably take that for lunch with a piece of fruit or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862409 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 09:41:23 +0000 josina 2862409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can relate to this.. my DH has put on a lot of weight since we first got together (of course that was 13 years ago), but even since our wedding, probably 60 lbs. He also quit smoking, and went from a job being on his feet all day to sitting all day, so that doesn't help.<br /> With him though, he's aware of it, and goes in spurts as to trying to fix it. He does a pretty good job of eating well, but also drinks a lot of calories (beer). He follows a ton of fitness guys on instagram (Cameron Hanes) and listens to health podcasts (Joe Rogan), but the follow-through isn't really there. He talks about running, but then rarely goes, has a weight set that he hasn't used in forever....<br /> So I don't know, no advice really. I do simple things like a 2 minute ab workout a few times a week (which has honestly helped me a TON) and I ask him to do it with me but he won't. He definitely wants me to make healthy meals, and I kind of go in spurts on that too. </p> <p>We don't buy the junk food anymore, so no ice cream or sugary snacks and rarely chips. I think that'd be the easiest change to make is to just not buy that stuff so he can't just grab it and snack.</p> <p>Could you just pick up a bunch of lean cuisine type meals for lunches? Those are my go-to and so good (and easy!).</p> <p>Casually mention how good he looked in an old photograph? DH notices the most when he looks at old pics.<br /> Recommend some fitness podcasts/accounts to follow?</p> <p>ETA: I've dated guys that were pretty heavy before, so weight isn't a huge issue to me. I'm more concerned if he shaves off his facial hair, and he definitely knows that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862408 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 09:27:42 +0000 periwinklebee 2862408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I graduated from college, I sat at the office near these middle aged women who were always talking about how "my husband forgot the kids at soccer again," or "OMG - you won't believe what he put in his mouth this weekend," "after begging for a year I finally got him to go to a checkup, and holy shit, his cholesterol." At the time it seemed like a pretty blech existence - and even talked to my then boyfriend (now DH) about how miserable it seemed - but now I totally get it. Like, I feel this is me, though I don't explicitly complain except anonymously here occasionally. I think it's a sign that I've arrived at middle age. And I don't see our situation improving unless DH decides to take a less stressful job or lower his standards a bit about what he can achieve at work, and I don't know if it will happen... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862404 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 09:15:08 +0000 looch 2862404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I am in a similar boat, I have gained about 15 pounds back that I worked really hard to lose and am struggling to get going again. My husband tends to drink his calories (lots of coffee with sugar, sodas) so he can easily cut back and drop weight, whereas I tend to hold on to the weight I gain more and as I am getting older, it becomes harder and harder to lose.</p> <p>I thin the best thing that can be done is for external professionals to give guidance...my husband doesn't listen to me about excess weight, but he will listen to a doctor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862401 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 08:55:59 +0000 Ajsmommy 2862401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My situation is not the same.... My DH has a very bad relationship with food/dieting/exercise. He goes from one extreme to the other. He'll be healthy and work out and drop 50-70 lbs and then within a few months he'll go right back to being unhealthy and put the weight back on. Luckily for him, I guess it doesn't bother me, meaning it doesn't make me less attracted to him or anything and I know he struggles with it so I seldom mention it or bring it up. He knows** so I dont' need to add to it.</p> <p>With all that said.. He probably feels how you feel about me though :shocked: I don't exercise or really eat healthy. I don't eat horrifically and I do try to keep myself in check but if he asks me to do keto or paleo, I refuse... I just can't. I have had 2 kids and I am probably 20+ lbs up from when we met and 10 lbs up from what I was prior to LO2 so I have work I could do.... but for now I am just surviving and I know and I don't appreciate it when DH says anything bc 1. I don't say stuff to him and 2. bc as I said I am aware I don't need him telling me......</p> <p>So no real advice, sorry, but I guess just letting you know that you are not alone and I think you know your DH best and you'd know whether saying something or maybe trying to work out together or another option would work best for your husband. Unless, he's like me and is aware of it and is just accepting it for now..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862398 Mon, 17 Dec 2018 08:41:34 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2862398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I actually agree with this. My husband has always been heavy, since the day we met, and it's never been an issue for me, but in the last few years (when we started TTC and after our daughter was born), I feel like he's less and less invested in taking care of himself, and that's the part that makes it hard for me. I constantly have to remind him to schedule medical check-ups. I make our meals and keep things healthy for dinners, but then he eats like crap for all other meals and I similarly don't want to be in control of his eating when I also have to be mindful of my kid's. We had major TTC issues because of health issues related to his weight, and he refused to do anything about it, which really changed our relationship dynamic. So it all often makes me feel like I'm taking care of an extra kid, and it really does lead to the same sense of not feeling attracted to him. No real advice, just commiseration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862367 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 21:36:39 +0000 Chuckles 2862367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not exactly the same, but I commiserate about DHs not taking care of themselves. My DH is wonderful, but he's not careful about taking care of his appearance. He gets crazy long eyebrow hairs, let's his hair get way too long (and not in a good way), and sometimes wears clothes to work that seem a little ratty. And he's in a profession that's very appearance conscious. I think my issue (and maybe related to yours) is that it impacts my attraction to him partly because I feel like I put forth an effort to look nice for him when I can, but I don't think this is reciprocated. And it makes me feel like he doesn't value the romance in our relationship.<br /> Also, he eats like a 5 year old. Like, almost no veggies, a little fruit when I encourage it, but mostly carbs, meat, and cheese. But he's still thin and in good health (which is infuriating of course :silly: ). I'm glad he's healthy and doesn't have to worry about gaining weight, but it limits my arguments about why he should eat better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862365 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 21:07:13 +0000 LBee 2862365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would think the lack of attraction is related to a bigger issue from your subsequent posts. His “letting himself go” is a physical reminder that you have to handle everything in your family and that he can’t even take care of himself. Just playing armchair therapist, of course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862360 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 19:42:22 +0000 Pollywog 2862360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a similar problem when we were engaged. DH felt entitled to a nice lunch out with coworkers, but it added so much time to his day and calories. After we got married, he switched jobs to where he can't eat out. I started doubling our dinner recipe and we both bring leftovers to work. It takes literally a minute to do. We just plate up dinner into a Pyrex. That simple change has caused him to lose weight and save so much time and money. Is it something you're open to trying for a month? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862356 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 17:24:14 +0000 gotkimchi 2862356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I haven’t read everything but some of this sounds like perhaps you’re not just upset about his physical appearance you’re also upset about your changing relationship, your responsibilities in the house and all of that which I totally understand and sympathize. Lately i feel like my husband and I can not get on the same page and it’s super frustrating and we’re both resentful on some fronts. I just want to say if that’s the case maybe you should explore some of that stuff as well - if you guys can connect one other stuff maybe that would help. Good luck it is very difficult to navigate this stuff :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862355 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 16:46:35 +0000 MrsADS 2862355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@becky yeah we've discussed it. He will usually put a little on his plate and eat a bite or two. And he's pickier about veggies than me - like I know he hates broccoli but is fine with green beans or asparagus. So I try to make stuff he likes. (but again - if he's fixing something for dinner - it's frozen trader joe's burritos from the freezer and no veggies at all)</p> <p>Re: packing lunch. I do occasionally. But honestly, I am so stressed and busy with the huge mental responsibility load I feel like I carry for our household, I just cannot handle taking responsibility for something else. To be honest, I feel like I *shouldn't* have to pack his lunch, plan healthy meals, etc. Like he needs to do it. But I know he won't, and the cycle will continue. Which makes me feel resentful, like it's my responsibility and it really shouldn't be. (I feel like everything is my responsibility)</p> <p>@skinnycow I have limited time and often I also have to pick between working out or doing a chore. He is the same way except it is work, usually, at night. We used to work out together and use it as a time to catch up/quality time together, and we both really liked that. Unfortunately with the kids now, that is not an option. I wish it was. I started skating after baby #2 and go late at night 2-3x a week (I sacrifice sleep to do this, which is big for me) and try to do a workout video 1x or maybe 2x a week in addition. So I am not doing anything crazy. But if he works out, it will have to be at night, on his own time/motivation, after the kids go to bed. </p> <p>Not sure there's a great solution. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862348 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 14:17:08 +0000 periwinklebee 2862348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: My husband is very stubborn and does not always have the healthiest habits. It can feel frustrating not to feel on the same page, but even if I took the time - i.e. - to pack his lunch, I don't think he'd want it... So yeah, solidarity... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862345 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 14:03:31 +0000 skinnycow 2862345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not terrible and I'm sure many are in the same boat (like me!). I try to make eating healthy and working out a top priority - I don't care if my house is a little messier than usual if I get my workout in. My husband doesn't feel the same way.</p> <p>I find my husband does best when we're doing a workout program/diet together. Like, we did Whole30 together a couple years ago and we'll do Beachbody programs together. He really struggles when I'm pregnant because I'm not as diligent with my food choices and he obviously doesn't want to do prenatal workouts with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862336 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 13:25:47 +0000 Becky 2862336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Have you talked to him about the example his eating habits set for the kids? They’ll definitely notice him not eating veggies, and even if they eat theirs now could easily bring that up as an excuse down the road (“Dad doesn’t eat veggies, why do I have to?”). And what about the saving money approach for tackling eating out at lunch? Or just making double while you pack your lunch so you can send him to work with a healthy lunch? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862329 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 12:40:34 +0000 808love 2862329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So even if food is what is causing his weight gain, you can still enter through the 'fitness for health' door. Beachbody.com has great online workouts -with many that are appealing to both men/women. (I'm not a coach but once in awhile my husband and I have done workouts online. There are free samples.) Once, he commits to a fitness change, the other things like diet and lifestyle snowball from there. You'll want to eat nutritiously to fuel the workouts. Does he like tech or visuals- he can follow a lot of instagrammers with fitness ideas or maybe a family guy who has a show or blog.<br /> My main battle is to be the sole grocery shopper. If I put healthy food in the house, those are our only choices. Also, committing to a short go-to list of healthy eat out options. My husband is average build but several overweight relatives.<br /> We still occasionally struggle to maintain a fitness discipline and eat healthy. Making it into an 'adventure in learning' is more fun than a sink or swim situation. The goal is encouraging BOTH of you to learn about your health and then taking charge. So although not quite solidarity (I lean toward being attracted to the inside and put on nice mood lighting) or moving past it (your feelings matter and you can do something about it), but some concrete actions and perspective to inspire you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862318 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 08:10:36 +0000 MrsADS 2862318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee IMO his weight gain is from a ton of unhealthy snacking and unhealthy lunches out at work. Like last night while I'm making dinner he is eating tortilla chips out of the bag. And after dinner he made a huge bowl of popcorn with butter (which he does 3-4x a week). And doesn't eat any of the veggies/salad with dinner.</p> <p>I used to pack both our lunches for work but I just do not have time. So he usually goes out for something quick and not super healthy. So I do try not to have a lot of unhealthy stuff in the house but it's his decision, in the end. I don't want to police his eating and he is a grown adult, he can pack a lunch for himself if he wants. His family all has similar eating habits and they are all heavy, so although he's been thin his whole life (good metabolism, I think), I can see that changing.</p> <p>@amorini I totally agree with you. I was trying to write this sensitively so people wouldn't jump all over me - LOL! But tbh I have a very hard time with it. And some of the turn-off is the change in his body and some is that he doesn't seem to care at all. To be quite honest I am not really attracted to him anymore and maybe that says more about me. But it is a turn off. </p> <p>@becky totally agree w/you re: health issues down the road. </p> <p>Thanks all for your input. Maybe with the new year I can approach it with him as something for us to do together, a fresh start. Who knows. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862316 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 07:15:08 +0000 periwinklebee 2862316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haven't read all the responses. I was a bit concerned about this, mostly from a health perspective. I have seen too many family members have serious health issues due to not managing their weight well. I asked my husband what he was drinking at work, turned out he was having coffees with lots of added calories to cope with the extra sleep deprivation since LO. He started drinking black and it has helped. Maybe you've already tried the obvious, but perhaps there are easy switches he'd be on board with that don't require completing changing his lifestyle? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862307 Sun, 16 Dec 2018 02:14:53 +0000 Amorini 2862307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Solidarity x 1000! DH has gained about 50 lbs since we got married. He lost a bunch with healthy eating before DS was born, but then gained it all back and more. You sound so sweet about how you talk about the issue. I’m a bit more annoyed-feeling because I find it plain gross, if I’m to be honest, because it’s about not caring for him. On a constructive note, I’ve had traction with “other people” mentioning it and insisting he see a therapist because I suspect that he’s depressed. (I would even have gone so far as calling his doctor before an appt and ask them to take a look at mood and weight gain, however I didn’t have to go that far.) He started therapy finally and I see shifts some already even just like a willingness to hear me out and try WW. We will start in the new year. I’m going to do it with him for a few months to walk in his shoes and support him. </p> <p>Maybe we should start a WW with DH support thread?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husbands-weight-gain#post-2862278 Sat, 15 Dec 2018 18:11:32 +0000 crazydoglady 2862278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Its totally worth a shot! For the record, my husband has never been on a diet and you could have knocked me over with a feather when he said he wanted to do it. it's seriously so manageable. </p>