https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 19:22:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1657597 Sun, 25 May 2014 19:25:31 +0000 kml636 1657597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: Hoping your LO is improving. I was just looking at your updates as the last two nights my LO has screamed, cried, etc for an hour before going to sleep. Before she would go to sleep no problems. Ugh! I'm thinking it maybe just the 18 month sleep regression but we are at a loss of what to do. I've been singing to her, holding her, patting her, etc and that does seem to calm her down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1650884 Thu, 22 May 2014 07:57:18 +0000 MsLipGloss 1650884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: What a great update! All that matters is that whatever it is you do works for you and your LO. Congrats doll! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1650713 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:28:10 +0000 LulaBee 1650713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last night we did bath, pjs, brush teeth, 4 books, nurse, I laid her in bed and stood there beside her crib for 15 minutes while she fell asleep. I didn't look at her or talk to her or sing to her. And she slept until 5:30am! She cried out a few times in the night, but didn't fully wake so no one went in there. If this is what works, I'm fine with it- so much more peaceful than her screaming for an hour +. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1649701 Wed, 21 May 2014 14:43:48 +0000 sotofamilia 1649701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: that sounds so hard! I don't have a lot of advice since my little guy is a few months behind, but I really hope you're able to tweak things/she grows out of it so you all get some sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1649651 Wed, 21 May 2014 14:30:31 +0000 LulaBee 1649651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SnowLion: They wash her hands (it's after eating lunch), tell her to go to her cot and that it's naptime. She walks over, lays down, and just looks around until she falls asleep. I think the fact that there are people in the room helps- she feels safe and not alone. But honestly, I have no idea... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1649504 Wed, 21 May 2014 13:45:29 +0000 SnowLion 1649504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would suspect it is something in the bedtime routine. I would talk to her school and see what they do to get her to sleep without hassle. She might have already connected that if she screams bedtime you will stay with her at bedtime. You are almost going to have to "retrain" her to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1649410 Wed, 21 May 2014 13:17:13 +0000 LulaBee 1649410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: Thank you, that's what I keep telling myself- she's only little once :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1648898 Wed, 21 May 2014 09:58:18 +0000 MsLipGloss 1648898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: I think your plan to move up bedtime but to stay in her room is a great plan . . . just one change at a time will help ease the transition and also enable you to better diagnose any potential issues. You are doing a great job mama! LOs can never have too many snuggles. They are only little for a little while. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime/page/2#post-1648639 Wed, 21 May 2014 08:34:55 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1648639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: that's exactly what we do! Sometimes they just need an extra snuggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648626 Wed, 21 May 2014 08:30:42 +0000 LulaBee 1648626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: Wow, I hope we get to that point! I am going to trust my instincts from now on. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648619 Wed, 21 May 2014 08:27:43 +0000 bpcmarj 1648619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: Just to share, we had a very long and difficult regression around 20 months. There was lots of screaming and I had to nurse/rock/sing to her and then sit in her room until she was completely and 100% asleep and hope that opening the door would not wake her up. It is so exhausting when you are in the thick of it, but now at 24 1/2 months it has gotten much better most nights. Now, I tell her I need to go throw her diaper away and put her in her crib and she says "night night, I love you" and goes to sleep. I hope that things will improve for you soon, but in the meantime hang in there and trust your Momma instincts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648610 Wed, 21 May 2014 08:23:42 +0000 LulaBee 1648610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the suggestions and support, everyone! She fell asleep when I stood by her crib and slept until about 3:30. When she woke, my husband couldn't get her to go back to sleep so I had him sleep on her "big girl bed" (floor bed) with her. We have both a crib and a twin mattress in her room to ease into a big girl bed, however maybe it's time to just get her to sleep in it all the time. </p> <p>I don't think I will be doing CIO any more this week- it was just too heartbreaking and honestly I don't think crying that hard for that long is good for her. So hopefully standing by her crib while she falls asleep will work tonight. We are going to push her bedtime back too. I know it's all trial and error, but sheesh, we have been trying to figure it out for her whole life! She may just not need as much sleep as some kiddos do.</p> <p>Anyways, I sure do appreciate all of the suggestions!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648241 Tue, 20 May 2014 22:07:07 +0000 JennyD 1648241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man. This sucks. It happens to us after every illness or any time we sleep away from home. She just has trouble getting back to her routine. </p> <p>CIO never worked for us. Girlfriend can cry for ever. And I can't take it. What works for us is being firm and clear about the bed time expectations. You have to go in knowing what your limits are. So usually, we try the regular routine, and sometimes she cries a little, and sometimes she's hysterical. When it's clearly a hysterical night, I go up, I ask her to try to calm down, and ask her if she wants to snuggle in mama's bed. She always says yes. We go in our room, lights out, I say " in five minutes, mama is going back downstairs, and Hadley is going to stay in bed, no crying". She usually agrees. Five minutes goes by, I say it's time for me to leave, and usually, that's it. In these cases we usually let her sleep in our bed until we go to bed. Then we just put her back in her bed. </p> <p>It's a good mix for us between CIO and not. If that makes sense. And it took us awhile to figure out that it worked for her. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648079 Tue, 20 May 2014 20:07:53 +0000 kml636 1648079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dang, no advice, just sympathy! I don't know that I could do CIO for that long, hugs to you! I will say, early bedtime is not always the answer. My LO just doesn't seem to need as much sleep either. Gah! Sleep is so tricky! Hopefully it's just a phase. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648037 Tue, 20 May 2014 19:53:28 +0000 Shimmer 1648037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mama, I'm in the minority here but go to your baby and comfort her. She needs you if she's crying like that. Yes, she's 21 months and she may understand that Mommy isn't gone forever. But all babies are different. Maybe she's afraid of the dark. Or cold. Or hot. Or lonely. Rock her, pat her, soothe her.</p> <p>I have 21 month old twins. We never had the heart to CIO more than a couple of days and even then, it was only a couple of minutes. Sleep is a developmental milestone. She'll get there. My Ben taught himself to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night (minus nights he's sick) all by himself. No crying. His brother isn't a great sleeper but he learned to put himself to sleep. No crying. And if they need help by being rocked, we do it. And the boys have benefitted from it.</p> <p>I'm glad you got to her before she fell! That must have been so scary. I'm sorry it's been tough. Feel free to write on my wall if you have any questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1648017 Tue, 20 May 2014 19:46:32 +0000 NovBaby1112 1648017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: oh no! I'm so sorry mama....sleep training a toddler is seriously soooo hard when they can call out for you and say stuff. as for the climbing, yikes! hmmm...might be time for a toddler bed/ or floor bed? when we were having a rough time with sleep- I was seriously considering moving her to a floor bed so at least I could lay down with her and have her fall asleep instead of having to rock/pat her bum in crib/lean over crib. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1647890 Tue, 20 May 2014 18:32:51 +0000 NerdBee 1647890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: oh dear! Good thing you looked at the monitor just in time. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Wish I had better advice but I have no experience with sleep training a todder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1647874 Tue, 20 May 2014 18:21:17 +0000 LulaBee 1647874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update- I looked at monitor after an hour and ten minutes. She was climbing out of crib about to fall!!! So I ran inside and scooped her up, rocked her and felt horrible about making her cry like that for so long, and am now standing by her crib looking away. Her eyes are almost closed but I know I'll be in here a while. All for nothing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1647860 Tue, 20 May 2014 18:06:11 +0000 NerdBee 1647860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: hang in there. It is much harder when they can talk. It breaks my heart when my LO cries "mommy mommy" when he is in his crib and upset. Hope your LO goes to sleep soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1647832 Tue, 20 May 2014 17:46:02 +0000 LulaBee 1647832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, we moved the books to the beginning of the routine, then pjs, brush teeth (which we didn't push because she hates it and it gets her worked up), milk, 2 songs. As soon as I stood up to put her in crib she clutched onto me and started crying. I told her I love her and that I'll see her in the morning. That was at 6:00. It's now 6:45 and she's still crying. :crying: </p> <p>She's calling out for me, saying "all done", and "big girl bed". I've retreated to the porch with a glass of wine but I still have monitor. I need to commit because I've made it this far but it's just horrible. I hope she falls asleep soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646238 Tue, 20 May 2014 09:31:33 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1646238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had a bit of regression here at 19 months for his nap. There was one day where he cried on and off for about 1.5 hours. It certainly was draining, but we've found that when we go in there, he calms down. The second we leave, he's even more hysterical. So we also have to be firm and not go in, no matter how much it kills us. He goes down for us at night perfectly fine. Will certainly toss and turn a little if he's not tired, but he will never cry at night unless there's something wrong.</p> <p>My advice is to just continue being firm. He's regressed in the last week or two, and it got really bad this past weekend. Saturday was the 1.5 hours of him crying. Sunday, he cried for about 40 minutes, and yesterday, he cried for about 15 minutes. I'm hoping today is a 15 minute day or no crying at all. And you are not a terrible person for going out on the porch. I used to have to go into our basement to block out his crying...otherwise I would go into his room. My DH sends me out for the night now...</p> <p>Lots of luck to you...I unfortunately know how you feel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646176 Tue, 20 May 2014 09:11:45 +0000 NerdBee 1646176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: It was kind of the same with my LO, early bed time would work for a short while and then back to fighting bedtime, or waking up in the middle of the night crying or waking up at an ungodly hour in the morning with all the same wake times. It was driving me crazy. After some more research and experimenting, I finally figured out that he was going through cycles of under tiredness/over tiredness. He was not tired enough to go bed so early so he would fight and cry, and it would take so long for him to go to sleep, or he would wake up in the middle of the night for hours, that it made him over tired. So then early bed time would fix the over tiredness problem then the early bed time would be too early and he wasn't tired enough again and the cycle would start itself again.</p> <p>I find that baby sleep is so much trial and error. I learned to stop listening to books or sleep websites and learned what the cues my LO were giving me meant. If he was giving me sleep cries or waking in the middle of the night, I knew that he wasn't tired enough and would extend his bed time or try to tire him out during the day. </p> <p>Anyway, I hope this helps and that you figure it out soon. Hearing your toddler scream/cry sucks. Nowadays, I cannot let him cry for longer than 5-10 minutes because he is such a good sleeper that if he cries for longer than that I know that sleep is just not happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646134 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:58:53 +0000 LulaBee 1646134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, so we will re-order the bedtime routine, with books happening before wind-down starts, so right after dinner. </p> <p>@NerdBee: I've often wondered if my daughter has low sleep needs- since she's NEVER been a good sleeper. However, those nights when she does fall asleep by 6:30 and sleeps until 6-ish am, she wakes up so very happy that I'm just not sure if I buy it. She's a very "good", well-adjusted kid otherwise, so she can definitely survive on very little sleep. But when she's really well rested, she's happier. She wakes around 5:30-6:30 every morning, so that means she would need to go to bed around 8:30- which is about when she fell asleep last night after crying for so long. Thanks for the different perspective- maybe we will try that out if CIO doesn't work... or if I decide I can't deal with CIO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646107 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:50:26 +0000 NerdBee 1646107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a different perspective and it may or not may be useful to you but here is my experience with my 25 month toddler. I have struggled with his sleep until he was about 18 months. I read anything to do with sleep that I could get my hands on and tracked the amount of time he was awake vs. asleep down to the minute. I followed all the recommended sleep times and did early bed times and still could not understand why his sleep was so unpredictable. Around 18 months, it suddenly clicked that he just had much lower sleep needs than an average baby. I started to put him down a little later and his sleep cries stopped and he was finally sleeping past 6am! </p> <p>At around 21 months his sleep needs decreased again. He was taking 2 hour naps at daycare so he just wasn't tired enough at bed time. At first I asked his daycare to limit his naps to only 1.5 hours but he seemed to not have enough energy in the evening so I moved his bed time a little later instead. As he got older, over tiredness does not seem to affect his sleep as much as not being tired enough. At around 2 years, the average toddler needs only 12 hours of sleep in total (naps + night time sleep). LO sleeps around 10 hours at night with a 2 hour nap. </p> <p>My LO loves books before bed too and I read at least 3 or 4 books before bedtime and he has no problems falling asleep afterwards. </p> <p>All that to say that early bed time is not always the answer, especially if your LO has low sleep needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646050 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:27:03 +0000 MsLipGloss 1646050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: You could re-order the routine so that the book(s) occur(s) before more relaxing wind-down events. For example, I do a little bit of play (how much depends on when we get home from work/daycare), dinner, followed by another few minutes of play/books, bath, and then bed. Once we are in the nursery, I hold her and rock her for one round of her musical sea horse (approx. 6 minutes), and then put her down, and she settles in. Sometimes, she is not ready for the crib just yet, and I will hold her for another 1/2 round/round of the sea horse, and then she goes down.</p> <p>ETA: I keep her nursery as dark as possible, with one small night light (that is partially hidden by the diaper pail to keep it from being too bright), and we always have white noise going (crashing waves and rain, although it's not turned up super loud). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646045 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:25:44 +0000 NovBaby1112 1646045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: we sleep trained at 6.5 months and it was a cake walk compared to listening to my toddler cry now. Pleading and screaming for mama is sooo hard to listen to. Honestly, I don't think I could let my toddler scream for 1.5 hours straight. I don't see anything wrong with reading before bed, maybe stick to 1 or 2 books instead of 3? I would also give the music thing a try...I was surprised how well it worked! We have a soothing lullaby CD and its all instrumental/classical and very very calming, I almost fall asleep listening to it :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646030 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:19:06 +0000 looch 1646030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that books are stimulating at this age, the colors, the pictures, the patterns, the animated voices! Who wants to sleep with all that going on?</p> <p>If you can, move reading time to another time of the day, like after dinner, before the bath. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646022 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:16:58 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1646022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: it is hard. I personally couldn't do CIO. She's 2.5 and I still jump if she starts crying like that. It just isn't like her, so I always know something is wrong. </p> <p>If this were my child, I'd be going in to get her and walking into another dark room with her -- for us, it's always our bedroom. I can lay with her in my bed, snuggle and talk to her. When she was smaller she couldn't quite talk back, but I would say things like "it's okay, baby. Momma and papa are right here. We will never let anything happen to you! Do you know how much I love you? TO THE MOON!" (Now Chloe tells me she loves me to the sun :grin: )</p> <p>It works 99% of the time. That odd 1% is when she really just wants to sleep in our bed, and it's so rare that we let her. Sometimes my husband will try to put her in her bed but it wakes her up and she scoots closer to me and hangs on for dear life. He couches it on those kind of nights. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646009 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:13:03 +0000 LulaBee 1646009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Maybe she does just need some extra comforting- that's what I'm worried about. If I let her CIO I won't be fulfilling her comfort needs. It's so hard- she can't verbalize her needs enough to let me know what's really going on. This parenting business is HARD. Monsters and dinosaurs in her room, lol- so imaginative! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hysterical-toddler-at-bedtime#post-1646002 Tue, 20 May 2014 08:07:24 +0000 LulaBee 1646002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: That's a good idea, I think cutting down to 1-2 books would help. And maybe 1 song? It's a short one. But you are so right- we will all be happier. </p> <p>@buffalove: I'll start talking to her about bedtime during bedtime- she is definitely old enough to understand and maybe she will "get it". Mrs. Wagon's sleep regression sounds like such a nightmare! I'm thankful ours isn't that bad. </p> <p>@Cherrybee: Thanks for that- maybe I will head outside with a drink tonight. :wink: Sorry your LO is going through it too- good luck!</p> <p>@edelweiss: okay, thanks- glad I'm not the only mama who can't listen. Tonight, I will not go in!</p> <p>@Mamaof2: I agree. I'm going to be firm tonight. </p> <p>@MsLipGloss: So you also think that books are too stimulating? She loves to read more than anything, and always asks for "Madeline" before bed. I hate to take away something she loves so much... </p>