https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Jul 2026 11:45:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16557 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:06:19 +0000 mrbee 16557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to go ahead and close this thread.</p> <p>Mrs. Bee and I love both sites, and are not really comfortable discussing the pros and cons of each - especially while Hellobee is still in private beta. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16554 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:04:01 +0000 PennyLainne 16554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I know I asked that. I was pretty frustrated when I did it. And I knew I needed to chill out about it and I knew that people were going to tell me that. The fact that she said I was being rude at all, is what really got to me. And the fact that some one said "it isn't fair to treat her like a leper" .... It just got to me. That is all. Sorry. </p> <p>I love wedding bee. I do and I have met a ton of awesome people there and I have nothing against it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16547 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 10:51:31 +0000 mrbee 16547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey guys... let's keep our focus on Hellobee and not on any other sites. :-)</p> <p>Thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16545 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 10:51:15 +0000 mediagirl 16545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your mc. It can't be an easy thing to deal with and then to know you have a relative who is having a baby around the same time you would have has to be just painful. I would imagine if I were in your shoes, I would be ignoring her/avoiding her as much as possible. It's only normal. Good for you for getting yourself up and allowing yourself to be around her. It will be hard but it might be good for you, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16527 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 10:38:23 +0000 Mrsbells 16527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your post on WB was titled "Do I need to chill?" and you started it with "So I just need you to tell me if I need to chill out and accept what has happened or if how I feel is ok and it isn't super selfish to want to cancel... "</p> <p>Some people responded to your question and said yes you need to chill, others explained that they had been hurt when they were on the other side of the situation, and other people were on your side. Nobody attacked you in that post or said you are rude, ONE person said they thought it was "slightly rude" to avoid your cousin altogther.</p> <p>Your post here is not an honest representation of the response you got on WB. I dont understand the need for you to exxagerate how bad the responses you got on WB were. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16519 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 10:22:28 +0000 PennyLainne 16519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for your responses. It is just nice some times to get stuff off your chest, be it venting or just voicing how you feel. So thank you so much for your responses! They mean a lot to me! </p> <p>@Andrea: For the most part WB is awesome and the ladies there are really supportive. I find you have to be careful with what you post because they can be very vocal about something that they may not understand completely. By that I don't mean every one but there is always a few. I was expecting some replies like that but the one that really got to me is when she told me I was being rude and a few other not so understanding things. </p> <p>@Mrs Green Grass: Thank you so much for your reply on the other board. It pretty much brought me to tears. I didn't find it offensive at all. Quite the opposite actually. I read about you and your sister and the way some people replied made me want to slap them. I think you handled the situation better than I would have. You are a very strong person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16352 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 22:33:04 +0000 Killer b 16352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They just don't understand yet. I've never experienced it, but holy cow, I can only imagine a hint of what it would feel like, and I think you were being generous in your actions. Not rude at all. Grieving is a personal process, and I'm sorry you were attacked about it. Obviously you've got a different set of women here who have an idea of what you're going through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16333 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:44:58 +0000 cyndistar3 16333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww im sorry they were rude to you there :( I am happy you were able to take that step, I know it must be hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16323 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:18:57 +0000 yin 16323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are most definitely not rude. You are doing a great thing by congratulating your cousin and communicating with her. </p> <p>My sister has been trying to conceive for the last 3-4 years, and she had IVF treatment in August 2010 which was unsuccessful. I conceived that same month, and she had a difficult time speaking to me. I knew not to take it personally because she was going through such a hard time. Surprisingly my not so great relationship with her has strengthened with the birth of my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16320 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:12:58 +0000 MaisyMay 16320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a MC and found out a few days later about a friend who is due two days after we were supposed to be due. We don't really talk in realy life, but are both on facebook a lot. I've had to hide some of her status updates because it hurts to see the U/S pics and whatnot. It's what we have to do to get by, and that's okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16317 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:04:18 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 16317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate when people are mean when you get the guts to be honest. I talked about being jealous of my sister which was really hard and many people thought I was totally lame. (I hope my comment wasn't offensive or unsupportive! I tried to be bright-side.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16293 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:42:25 +0000 Rosie Girl 16293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not rude at all! I avoided pretty much everyone I knew that was pregnant while we were struggling, and they weren't even family! I can't imagine how much that had to/has to hurt. Good for you for being the bigger person though! I hope your day comes really soon too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16289 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:36:08 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 16289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You aren't rude. Grieving the loss of your child takes time. And only you know how Long it will take to be okay. Plus, it doesn't mean you love your cousin less but you simply couldn't deal. I think when you are ready it might be nice to tell her it wasn't her. That she didn't do anything but that you needed time. Hang in there and we are here not to judge but to listen ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16273 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:15:00 +0000 MsMini 16273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am glad to hear that not only did you decide to do the photo shoot, but you sent your cousin a congratulations! I think that it is really great that you have taken that step. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16268 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:08:57 +0000 Mrs. Oyster 16268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's really brave of you to decide to share again after the response you got over on WB. I can't say that I can relate to what you're going through - but I do understand the emotions and how it's easy to feel as you did.</p> <p>I think it's wonderful that you were able to be the bigger person and, even more so, to write her a congratulatory email! You should be really proud of yourself and I'm sure your family would be as well, if they knew.</p> <p>Good for you, cycle twin :) (I'm Keppa on both boards). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16259 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:02:33 +0000 ALittleP 16259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry! I've been there. I had a miscarriage last December. My SIL who had a m/s shortly after I did got pregnant within three months of the m/c. I have a really hard time with her and how much the family is fawning over her...so I hear your "pain." Hugs.</p> <p>Sorry to hear that others are not being supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16257 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:59:43 +0000 Andrea 16257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Thanks! That is interesting because not every one here is a mom, pregnant or TTC either. I have come across so many websites where people are so mean to each other but everyone is supportive here so far. I think the HBs will maintain our nice environment. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16246 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:49:41 +0000 junebugmama 16246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: It can be very supportive, however, it's a wedding site where many brides have hung around post marriage and obviously a common topic is baby for many of those woman.</p> <p>When discussing things regarding pregnancy, lots of woman who aren't Moms, or TTC, or pregnant, etc respond to your posts. I think it's really easy to attack someone or make someone feel bad about something that you don't quite understand yet. Lots of the posters thought she just needed to suck it up and "chill out". Which obviously she just needed to communicate her feelings and feel supported. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16232 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:36:46 +0000 Andrea 16232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing with us here. I can understand why you would find the photo situation difficult but it is great that you have made steps to be ok with it. It doesn't matter that it took you a while. I am sorry to hear about your MC. </p> <p>This is going off the topic a bit but I am curious go know what the environment in WB is like. I am not familiar with it. Is it not a supportive place? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16222 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:31:11 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 16222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never had a mc so I can't relate to how you are feeling, but I can imagine that it is hard. And the fact that the person in your life who got pregnant was a family member and due around the same time seems like it would be much harder. I don't think you did anything wrong by waiting until you felt better before going around your family. I think it is awesome that you feel okay to reach out now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16220 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:30:33 +0000 junebugmama 16220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw your post over there and was so surprised at the way some people reacted to you. I'm glad you finally got the courage to say something. I am interested to hear her reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16212 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:28:50 +0000 Mrs. D 16212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Of course it's hard to see someone succeed where you have not yet. I'm glad you've made this step, you'll get there, just don't let it get to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16210 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:27:52 +0000 Coastinganon 16210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the things that happens when you lose a child, no matter where in your pregnancy you are, is that you lose the sense of innocence that normally comes with the territory. I liken it to stepping through a door to the other side of innocence. You can never go back to where you were before because now you know too much. Thankfully, there are so many people on this side of the door waiting to support us and wishing we never had to be there in the first place.</p> <p>It is only natural, to look at someone else, especially someone so close to us, who is still on that other side of innocence and have feelings of jealousy and hurt. Nothing you have said here has any indication of you being anything other than human. I am glad for you that you were able to do what you feel is right and I hope that you can continue to move forward towards forgiveness for both yourself and your situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16209 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:26:59 +0000 Mrs. Marbles 16209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not being rude. I'm always of the camp of "feelings are feelings" and as long as you're not hurting anyone, you'll work it out yourself eventually. Going through a MC is really hard and people who have never been through it don't understand. I know was pretty insensitive (not realizing that I was) about the topic until I MCed. You go through so many emotions and even if you're a positive person, it's hard to feel good about anything after a MC. So it's definitely commendable that reached out to your cousin! It's part of the healing process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-dealing#post-16208 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:22:34 +0000 PennyLainne 16208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello Bees, </p> <p>So I posted this on WB and I got lots of flack... I wanted to update it but I just don't want to bring up any more of the "your being rude" stuff. So I figured I will update on here instead.... this is probably where I should have posted it in the first place. Anyways back to the point: </p> <p>I had a MC in October and 2 days after I found out that my cousin is pregnant and due right around the same time that I would have been. Well lets just say this did not go over well. In no way do I have anything against her, it is just really unfair... I know some of you will get where I am coming from. </p> <p>I have had a bit of a hard time with this. And it isn't every pregnant person or anything like that, this just hit really close to home. I have some what avoided seeing/talking to her and am kind of avoiding family get togethers because I am just not ready yet. </p> <p>Well my little sister wants to do pictures with my mom and us girls and she wants to use that cousin as the photographer. It is a surprise for my mom. Given this isn't until January but still the thought of it just gives me a sick feeling. Spending all day with my pregnant cousin..... Well I officially decided to be a bigger person and put my feelings aside for the greater good! I have agreed to do it. (I had no choice in photographers, my sister already talked to my cousin about it.) </p> <p>Well the big thing that I wanted to update is, I finally sent her an e-mail and told her Congrats! Which I know isn't that big of a deal but still I did it!! I have been avoiding doing this since..... the beginning of October. </p> <p>You don't have to comment, I just wanted to tell some one.... some one who isn't going to tell me I am rude for avoiding her or family get togethers.... so please don't tell me I am rude and if you think so please keep it to yourself. I am just dealing.</p> <p>EDIT: I should add that none of my family knows what happened. </p>