https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 03:42:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36248 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 08:55:18 +0000 anewme 36248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't beat yourself up for it. Even as the mom I wasn't into the newborn phase. It was a lot to give and give and not<br /> Get a reaction back. But now that she's 9 months and she is more<br /> Engaging we are both better with her and enjoying it much more. Although its also a lot more work!</p> <p>But I truly don't think dh will be really into it until she can swing a golf club! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36222 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 07:38:14 +0000 momentspassslow 36222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was really not looking forward to the infant months with our baby because "babies don't do anything fun" ... he (we both were actually!) was very surprised by how quickly he has gone from being an immobile/boring newborn to a fun/active infant! (He is 4 months today.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36216 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 06:35:50 +0000 Andrea 36216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've both always been into our LO but the mom is definitely at an advantage because she breastfeeds, usually gets to spend more time with the baby, and well - just IS the mom. And babies don't do all that much so I can see how it would be hard to bond with one. I'm sure you still help out Mrs. Bee in so many ways and she's the one who is going to remember the infant stage, not Olive. Just like how Charlie won't remember if you did this or that with him as an infant, but he will start to form memories of you now that he is a toddler and you have a great relationship so that's what matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36169 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 00:58:37 +0000 Boogs 36169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't feel guilty, they'll never remember those times because they were so young. ;)</p> <p>We have both always been into our LO, but we are enjoying him more now that he's older because he's more fun to play with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36116 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:56:48 +0000 SAHM0811 36116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same thing with my hubby... I think this time around though, it's nice to know that he will definitely come around once Baby 2.0 is a bit older since this is something we've gone through before. He is SO great with my toddler and I can't wait to see him bond with her sister in the same way. We both just know his parenting strengths tend to shine after the newborn stage and that's totally okay.</p> <p>Don't feel guilty... With all you're doing with Charlie, it benefits the family as a whole. I'm so grateful my hubby spends so much time with our toddler these days. It allows me to care for 2.0 much better than when I'm alone with the two.</p> <p>he does though make it his mission to make 2.0 laugh about once a day. It's cute to see the different things he does... Silly faces, tickling, etc :) so in that respect it's not too "work" like. at 2 months Olive should be coming around soon with the giggles and reaching for toys. she'll be a daddy's girl soon I bet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36113 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:46:23 +0000 Rubies 36113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a REALLY tough time learning how to be a mom. I just felt like a machine - baby's crying? Okay, try feeding. Still crying? Change diaper. STILL crying? Rock and shush. STIIIIIL crying? Repeat process. I cried multiple times a day because I just didn't get it. Now, LO is 4.5 months and things are soooooooooooooooo much better. She's giggling, playing, smiling, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36089 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:02:27 +0000 MamaMoose 36089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a LO yet so I can't say how this went for us. But I do wonder if you just feel a little detached because at this point Olive needs Mrs. Bee more than she needs you. I think it's natural that a mother would connect to a newborn sooner and that a father's connection would grow over time as he's able to do more and more for the baby. I think as long as Mrs. Bee feels like you are the partner she needs in parenting Olive that's all that matters right now. Obviously you love Olive... you just don't have as many opportunities to connect with her yet as you do with Charlie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36088 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:01:20 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 36088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't feel guilty. Some people take longer to bond with their babies, but that doesn't make them bad parents. I can imagine it's harder for dads, too, without all the physical imperatives of carrying and nourishing a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-just-not-into-newborns-and-am-not-sure-what-to-do-about-it#post-36087 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:53:42 +0000 mrbee 36087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loooooooove Charlie and have been a good father to him... but only since he became a toddler. I had trouble getting into him when he was a newborn though.</p> <p>Spending time with him felt like "work" to me. I was willing to do it, but my heart wasn't in it. It was something I really struggled with. Of course all that changed as he started crawling and talking, and now I can't get enough of him. He lights up my life!</p> <p>But now we have a new lady of the house (Olive, two months old), and I am noticing the same pattern. I've been a horrible father to her so far, just like with Charlie. I'm sure that will change over time with her just as it did with Charlie, but I feel very guilty about it.</p> <p>Were both you and your SO into the baby right away? How did you handle it? </p>