https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 18:10:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2618461 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 22:01:31 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2618461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was that kid who cried every day... But by K I switched schools and I became extremely outgoing and independent.</p> <p>My daughter is similar. She's getting better but the first couple weeks have been rough with drop offs especially since she had another kid bossing her around and was having trouble with that. She's happy after we leave according to her teachers and happily eating lunch when we go back to get her so I know she's ok. Some kids just struggle with drop offs. :( At this point we are just short and sweet with our answers about school and keeping a positive attitude. It's not tears every day, so one day at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617952 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:54:24 +0000 KayKay 2617952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bao: are there any friends from last year that she is excited to be able to see again/more often? </p> <p>I think you've gotten good advice above. And I think prepare her vs. surprise probably depends some on her personality. If she is a worrier, it might not help to talk it up too much beforehand because she will psych herself out about something that (I assume) she likes a lot once she recovers from drop-off? </p> <p>Have you tried giving her a special necklace or something that she can wear on school days that "keeps the sads away"? We do that with my oldest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617940 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:49:48 +0000 ValentineMommy 2617940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were in the same situation.</p> <p>Last year DS cried every single day at drop off. Clinging to my legs and all.</p> <p>He went to a new school this year - and I'm happy to report that he didn't cry on his first day! </p> <p>Only thing we did was read a few books about school, talk about how mommy always comes back, and that's about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617916 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:36:40 +0000 MamaG 2617916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried the book "The Kissing Hand"? My DD is now 5 and in Kinder but has really taken to this book finally and we kiss each other's hands every morning and every night. </p> <p>Also, I recently had a behavioral therapist suggest that we talk less to our kids about what to expect. Let life be a surprise to them. Kids brains are different than ours and they handle surprises better than we do. I can't say that I've personally tried this method, but I filed the fact away in my little brain for future use with #2.</p> <p>Is car drop off an option? I do this now for our Kinder kid and she doesn't have any opportunity to fuss and fight. I stop the car and a teacher is there to help her out and on her way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617871 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:55:16 +0000 gingerbebe 2617871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So not that I disagree with anything @winniebee said at all re: validity of feelings, but it sorta sounds like you've been doing all that in terms of trying to respect her feelings so maybe something totally different would jar her into not crying? Like just tell her what is going to happen and what your expectations are before getting out of the car. Like, lead the emotional response you desire. "Mama is going to take you inside now and drop you off at school. I expect for you to be polite and kind to your teachers and friends. School is fun, so there is no reason to cry about it. No crying. Mama will come get you in a few hours and then we we will go home and do (fill in the blank). Do you understand?" And then make her repeat what you said. "What does mommy expect you to do today? Are we going to cry? Did mommy promise to come back in a few hours?" etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617761 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 10:19:17 +0000 winniebee 2617761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had bouts of this over the years (and my toddler is currently in hysterics at drop offs). What is your drop off routine like?</p> <p>I would not try to talk up school or discourage her from crying. It's how she is expressing her feelings. Even if it is stressful to you, I would try to show her that her crying doesn't bother you and that it's ok to be upset. I would say something like "I see you're crying. Let me wipe away a few of your tears. I hope you have a good day. I'll see you when I pick you up at X time!" And smile and give her a hug and leave. If she says "I hate school! I don't want to go!" You could say "I hear you. You don't want to go. But dad and I have decided that this school is a good school for you and that you'll go. But I'll be there at X time to pick you up." This is as close to Janet Lansbury as I can get, LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617748 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:54:58 +0000 Bao 2617748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: glad I'm not alone! @LBee: I'm going to try some of these! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617746 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:54:17 +0000 Jess1483 2617746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The crying lasted a couple months for us last time. I'll tell you what helped us, although if it's become a game to her, it might not work:</p> <p>We role-played me leaving, and when I said "Mama's gonna go now. I love you," he learned to say "ok." You could insert any phrase you want (maybe even a silly one, like "see you later, alligator" or something similar.) We would practice it, and then when we got there, 2 minutes before I left, I'd say "In two minutes, I'm going to leave, and you're going to say 'ok.'" For a short while, he'd do it correctly, and then start crying after, but that only lasted a week or two. </p> <p>Since he hadn't been crying nearly as long as your LO before we tried this, it might also have been a natural progression, but it gave him the "right" way to respond, and he was able to do it. I also talked to his teacher and she'd try to swoop in right after he said "ok" to facilitate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617742 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:50:02 +0000 LBee 2617742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is like this. I am happy to report that today was the first day ever that he walked into school on his own, said "YAY SCHOOL!" and was smiling. </p> <p>Things we did:<br /> We talk(ed) about school tons!<br /> His teachers gave him a job to do first thing.<br /> My mom took over drop off (he was feeding off my anxiety) - she's a saint.<br /> We read the Daniel Tiger "School" book no less than 50 times prior to school and read it every night at least 3 times. We sing "Grown-ups Come Back" nightly.<br /> We had a "meet and greet" for the kids and I really focused on getting him comfortable in the classroom. We also talked about the toys he really liked in the classroom (a toaster) and how exciting it would be to come back and play with them.<br /> He also gets a special treat (a sticker or bandaid) if he is brave during drop off. </p> <p>All this to say, it's a crap shoot and it really sucks to have the kid who is crying at drop off . We were lucky that it was just at drop off and he stopped almost immediately after we left. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617736 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:45:19 +0000 looch 2617736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: That was my son the last 2 years. In addition to the drop off drama, he was also the king of "I don't want to go back there" every night and weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617727 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:35:03 +0000 Bao 2617727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think I'm so stressed because it was literally 98% of the days from September to June that she cried. I can't go through that again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617725 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:32:18 +0000 looch 2617725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is similar. He just started kinder and I am happy to report not only did he not cry, I didn't cry. I think he was just mature enough at this time. I was worried though, because the morning of the first day, he asked if he could go back to his preschool. Now he says he likes the two schools the same amount.</p> <p>I did drop off yesterday morning and there were a ton of kids crying, I was kind of surprised, as this is already the second week. I don't think you're alone, you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-am-so-stressed-about-lo-starting-school#post-2617601 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 07:48:07 +0000 Bao 2617601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure some of you remember the issues I had with my LO last year where she cried every single day at drop off. She starts a new school year on Tuesday and she is already saying she doesn't want to go. I am so stressed (not showing her that I am), that we will have to go through that every single day again this year. Last year it got to the point where I didn't really feel bad that she was crying, because I felt like it became a game to her. I just want to be able to drop her off and her be happy to go play/see her friends. I'm not entirely sure the point of this post, but hoping someone can relate/give advice... </p> <p>Is there ANY way I can try and get her to not cry every single day when I bring her to school? I feel like I've tried every thing with no luck. </p>