https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 15 Jun 2026 03:12:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243261 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:25:36 +0000 MamaG 2243261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You've received a lot of good input already. At 3 we started giving LO choices. She gets to pick who puts her to bed. She doesn't get to change midstream. So if she picks me, she's stuck. And if she gets mad I leave and she's left alone. </p> <p>I agree it's attention seeking and/or a delay tactic and it's working at this point. </p> <p>I would also try with some leading questions, like are you mad at Daddy? If she responds yes, then you can ask why and see if you get an explanation. If she says no, then I'd probably follow up with something like, I'm not sure why you say you don't like him, but that's unkind and not something you should say to Daddy. What are some nicer things you could say?</p> <p>At almost four our girl's new phrase is "you're not my best friend anymore". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243246 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:06:48 +0000 Jess1483 2243246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SugarplumsMom: Ah, I see. Well, if you're generally flexible about who reads, I'd maybe say "If you'd like mommy to read, you can ask by saying 'please, mommy, would you read this story?' of 'I'd like mommy to read to me tonight, please.'" Giving her different (not hurtful) words to use may curb the behavior as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243245 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:05:20 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2243245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: Oh man. I can already predict what will happen if I did that. We actually take turns reading to her, depending on the book she requests. I normally read all of the English ones. We're all still on summer break and I think we've just gotten a lot of each other. I know DH is counting down the days until he returns to work! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243240 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:00:34 +0000 Jess1483 2243240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SugarplumsMom: I wouldn't. I'd say "Reading at bedtime is for daddy. You can choose to read with Daddy, or not at all" and then walk away and follow-through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243238 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:57:48 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2243238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: It's really hard to not react because she usually says it during bedtime, which is the biggest ordeal of the day. I guess she's just trying to prolong bedtime and come to think of it, it actually works! She starts saying it when it's time to read her a story and says she doesn't want him to read it (because she doesn't like him) and wants me to. I'm going to try to brush it off and resume the bedtime routine. </p> <p>Do you think I should give in and read to her instead? If I don't she'll likely tantrum and wake herself up even more :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243236 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:51:02 +0000 Jess1483 2243236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SugarplumsMom: Yeah, then she's looking for a reaction, probably. And I think at 3, trying to elicit empathy isn't very likely to get you anywhere (not that 3 year-olds can't display empathy, just that I think her behavior is probably attention-seeking, and the best response to that is to not feed the beast...) My suggestion is for you to ignore, and for Daddy to continue to affirm that he loves her/still likes her without too much emotion, and then move on. When she's not getting the reaction she's searching for, I think the behavior is likely to stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243235 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:48:29 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2243235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: He just sits there and looks sad :silly: I'm the one that reacts. </p> <p>@TemperanceBrennan: I try to explain to her and ask why. She just storms off when I ask or crosses her arms and gets pouty. "I don't like you," is a completely new phrase from her. She's only just recently started to say it. In fact, DH only discovered it while grocery shopping and she was pointing at a box of sour cream. We're a bilingual household and she doesn't say it in English (which is kind of worse for DH since it's the language he speaks with her). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243232 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:42:04 +0000 KT326 2243232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3 year old does this. He also tells us he's not our friend anymore. I don't make a big deal out of it, I just say something like "oh I'm sorry to hear that. I still like you/I'm still your friend". We've tried the "I bet it makes mommy/daddy dad when you say that but he doesn't quite get it yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243229 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:39:55 +0000 Jess1483 2243229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How does your husband respond when she says it? Is she getting a reaction for it? For what it's worth, I think it's a totally normal stage. I'd suggest having DH respond with "Well that's a bummer, because I really like you" with little emotion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243227 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:38:46 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2243227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My nephew started saying things like this, but he was a little older 4 or 5 and could reason a bit more.<br /> If it happened while I was around I would usually turn it into a question - "Why don't like Daddy?" That way I could find out if it was because of something specific "Because he brushes my teeth." or if it was vague "because I don't like him". If it was vague I would turn it around. "How would you feel if Daddy said he didn't like you?" and take it from there. "I bet it makes Daddy sad when you say that." It takes a bit of empathy though and I'm not quite sure how a 3 year old would react/understand.<br /> Since I'm also only a sporadic caregiver, I'm sure my nephew behaves differently around me than his parents.</p> <p>I'm sure it's just a phase! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-dont-like-you#post-2243221 Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:30:16 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2243221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3 yr old is starting to say she doesn't like DH. She says it out of nowhere and often times during bedtime (or when she's fighting to do something). He was her favorite up until summer break. But she's never communicated not liking anyone before. He's kind of a big pushover, so I'm wondering if it's a boundaries thing. DH thinks it's because he's the one that usually brushes her teeth, which she hates.</p> <p>Is this a normal phase? We have no idea how to deal. She usually says she doesn't like her papa and follows up with saying she likes mama. I'm starting to feel bad for DH and have tried to tell her it's not a nice thing to say, but she says it more after I tell her. Did your LO go through this phase? </p>