https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 20:56:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1774634 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 16:23:51 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1774634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks ladies! the dr didn't seem concerned and A's weight gain has been good. she just told us to try and slow her down during her feeds and take a bunch of burp breaks, as well as hold her upright for a bit after she is finished. she also said another reason it could be happening is if A is having trouble having or hasn't had a large poop in a while and just has no room left for new milk. she recommended an ounce of warm water with 1/2 tsp brown sugar on days when she hasn't had a large bm.</p> <p>@spaniellove: yes, definitely doesn't make it any easier having a lo born premature or with a medical issue. but i'm def glad to know that even the healthiest full-term babies have issues with chronic spit up too. as far as someone to help me, i'm still so nervous about that. family always offers, but no one has experience with a preemie and i also wouldn't want someone like MIL doing her own thing and not going along with what i ask her to do.. i know i'm bringing some of this loneliness on myself, but as much as i feel isolated and clueless, i'm just not ready for anyone but dh and me, unless they're willing to go with all that we ask of them. sigh.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1774336 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 13:34:35 +0000 Cherrybee 1774336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice because I never really got past the clueless stage.... which is what Im coming here to say....Its ok, you're not supposed to know what you're doing and the second you get the hang of it, those pesky babies change and you feel clueless again. Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1774191 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 12:29:10 +0000 spaniellove 1774191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sucks being a new mom! Let's acknowledge how much it sucks, that and being alone all the time with the baby, especially one born with medical issues. :heart: </p> <p>Have you had any discussions with the ped about this before today? Does A have any symptoms other than the spitting up? For us the first signs were that he would start gagging and screaming during feedings. Zantac is helping although I have to stay on top of the dosage as he gains weight. Although it's only meant to make the spitup less acidic. I also feed him completely sitting up, and keep him sitting up for half an hour afterward; you can imagine what this does to my day. </p> <p>But I also agree that finding a babysitter or something would probably work wonders. I've been trying to do that for the longest time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773903 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 10:24:25 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1773903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! It's hard! My LO's crazy spit up ended up being MSPI; it's so frustrating when you're just trying to figure it out. For what it's worth my eldest is 3 and I still have days when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773699 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 09:37:20 +0000 skibobrown 1773699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: You are not alone in feeling this way. It's totally overwhelming taking care of a newborn. As far as the feeling useless sitting on the couch... are you comfortable leaving the house with the baby? If you aren't, you might want to try some short outings. I personally got very depressed just sitting at home all day in my PJs in front of the TV, feeding and diapering nonstop. I was much happier once I made reasons for baby and I to leave the house. I joined a mommy group. I made plans to go out for lunch and coffee. I took walks. By the end of my maternity leave I had something scheduled for us almost every day, which made me feel so much better about myself. </p> <p>Also, have someone to call for help when your husband is out of town. If you don't have a friend or a family member, find a reliable baby sitter who you can hire for a few hours so you can take a nap or catch up on stuff at home. Even if you don't need to call them, it will help to have a plan in place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773607 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 09:11:51 +0000 LuLu Mom 1773607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dealt with sever spit up for the first 12 months of LO's life, it was heartbreaking, I feel your pain. SHe was going through 4-5 outfits a day and then all of a sudden one day stopped. I do think you need to try and rest, it will help if you have some sleep! And if you have a friend or family member close by that can come help relieve you when your DH travels that will help keep you sane. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773585 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 09:03:48 +0000 MrsRcCar 1773585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: I felt the same way. I asked the nurse who took care of E the most if I could have her number. She probably thought I was crazy but she reminded me that I could a always call the unit and ask questions. Hope the doctors goes well today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773571 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:59:23 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1773571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! I broke down so many times because I was so tired of the spit ups. It turns out she has pretty bad reflux ( and colic), and once we got her on prevacid, she was a whole new baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773568 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:58:41 +0000 Mae 1773568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :( I was so scared when DH went back to work. Like, panic-scared that I couldn't do it. I cried the first time I was alone with LO for more than an hour. But it got easier. We figured each other out and started to get a routine and now it's no big deal. You'll get there &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773563 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:56:24 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1773563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: thanks :) she is happy overall and gets over he spit up pretty quickly. (it's me that's in tears for a while afterwards!) I feel like I was so spoiled with all the nurses and drs in the nicu always available for advice and now that we are home it's such a different thing. we are going to the dr today anyway to get a weight check and just make sure her tummy is ok </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773561 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:56:05 +0000 MrsKoala 1773561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: Good! One step at a time is all you can do. You will look up in a couple months and wonder how you made it through but you will make it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773554 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:54:40 +0000 Smurfette 1773554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: Well R wouldn't nap unless we held her, so it was easier for me. I would make myself for one nap a day nap, otherwise I watched TV. Try at least one a day. Otherwise you are going to crash hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773549 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:53:13 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1773549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsKoala: I just made an appt for later today. thanks! trying to take it one step at a time :)</p> <p>@Smurfette: I can never get the sleep when they sleep thing! just always feel like there is something to do. also have trouble getting past the fact that, besides feeding her and cleaning up after her, I don't do anything else but stare at the tv. I'm sure it's normal but I just feel like such a waste. urgh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773546 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:50:52 +0000 MrsRcCar 1773546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: hang in there momma. I am right there with you in spit up land. E has been a spitter since we came home with him. The doctor doesn't seem worried since he is gaining weight. Does your lo seem happy as content otherwise? If not I would phone the doctor and talk to them about it. </p> <p>Dh and I have always said how is there no manual for a newborn or in E's case a preemie? For me when E came home I was so worried that he wasn't getting enough breast milk because he spit up so much and I had no idea how much he was getting to start with. When he was in the hospital I knew how much he was getting because it was being measured. </p> <p>Just remember it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed in the beginning. While Dh is gone just focus on caring for yourself and your lo, if other things get done great if not no biggie. </p> <p>When N was a newborn my mom told me that "N is new to this being a baby thing and you are both learning right now. Just remember that N loves you completely." It helped me realize that we were both new to this but above all else there was love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773517 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:37:35 +0000 MrsKoala 1773517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could she have reflux? It might be worth a visit to the pediatrician to talk about her symptoms.</p> <p>And don't worry too much about not knowing what you are doing. I feel like that all the time and I really don't think it is abnormal at all to feel a little clueless as a FTM. Take it day by day. You can do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773505 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:35:06 +0000 Smurfette 1773505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know anything about preemies, so I can't give advice on that. R spit up all the time, it is so hard. Just try and keep her elevated for 15-20 mins after she eats to help. </p> <p>You will survive with DH gone. Just don't worry if the laundry doesn't get done, the house is a mess, it is ok if you are in your pajama's all day. That matters is that baby and you get food, and sleep when she sleeps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-clueless#post-1773487 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:29:33 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1773487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A is 10 weeks (1 week adjusted) and i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing.. she is having major spit-ups and we are trying everything and it still keeps happening. dh is also beginning to travel for work again and will be gone a few days every week thru august and i'm so scared that i won't be able to do it without him. </p> <p>i've read all the books, i always thought i was pretty good with babies and had good intuition. i was so prepared for our time in the nicu, but it's been almost a month that we've been home with her and all of the sudden i am just beginning to feel like i really don't know how to do all this.. sigh.. </p>