https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 11:13:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1071291 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 02:42:17 +0000 shopaholic 1071291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: So sorry you're feeling this way sweetie! Just wanted to say I can understand in a lot of ways. DH usually works late and rushes to get home by 9pm to do bath time. Everyone works and I did fee lonely a lot from months 2-4. And I have the serial catnapper. I'm totally satisfied if she gets in a 30 min. nap! </p> <p>What helps me is to get out of the house. Like, every single day. I end up meeting and talking to lots of moms this way. Even if I don't ever see them again, it's nice to have someone to talk to. I'd tell DH somedays I felt like a mute if I didn't have a conversation with anyone all day. It's really lonely in that way. Around month 5, I had several moms come up to me and suggest some Meetup.com groups. And I can say between 2 groups, the calendar of events is almost too overwhelming now! It's taken about a month, but I'm starting to click with certain moms and even met up with a couple outside of the massive group today. And it was really fun! Definitely just getting out for lunch and a stroll, it ate up a BIG portion of the day. I've also started a swimming class and looking into other classes and activities to do with the baby. I realize the baby might not need the classes as much as I do, but it's nice to have an activity to look forward to and adult interaction every day. HUGS! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1071274 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 01:26:41 +0000 Pepper 1071274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! I'm glad you were able to get out and go to a play group. I find myself feeling a bit isolated sometimes, and going out and doing little things here and there really helps. Now that C had his 2 month shots, we've been going a lot more places, which helps me to feel a little more normal. I hope things keep getting better for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1071211 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 22:23:11 +0000 mrs.cookie 1071211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just saw this post and wanted to send more virtual hugs. Like many PPs, I've been there too. I was way ahead of my friends and sisters on the baby front and felt incredibly isolated. My LOs have been the worst cat mappers as well. It does get better!! </p> <p>I am pathologically incapable of staying home so I find things to do... Lots of things. Swimming, music classes, library rhyme time... Catch up with people I barely knew and reconnected with cousins who have small children etc. I've been lucky to find some great "mom" friends who live nearby and we support each other and hang out, but it took til my first LO was about 6 months for that to happen. I was floundering.<br /> I really wished I'd been a bit more proactive about finding time to myself - it gives you that breathing space to deal with the baby again. I felt like I was being held hostage by a tiny terrorist too :)<br /> <a href="http://Www.troublesometots.com" rel="nofollow">http://Www.troublesometots.com</a> has some great articles on napping etc too. Saved my sanity. Hang in there, you will be ok, it just sucks right now. Wish I didn't live so far away or I'd have you over for a cup of tea!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1071169 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 21:23:03 +0000 immabeetoo 1071169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: <a href="http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/pupd-tbw.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/pupd-tbw.html</a> </p> <p>I get out of the house every single day. Even if its just to the library, seeing other people keeps us both sane! I'm jealous you have 2x weekly playgroups though, the only ones I've found so far are during his nap time so we get library storytime once a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1071040 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 19:28:37 +0000 sslm 1071040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for all of your support! I am feeling the love :) Today was much much better on the nap front, and then I went out to a play group and decided to walk there. All told that was a 3 hour adventure, so that ate up a lot of my day which really helped. Getting out is definitely key, and adult interaction also helped a ton. I'm so glad to have hellobee to lean on when I don't really have anyone else!!! </p> <p>@banana: I have been taking a lot more walks lately!</p> <p>@edelweiss: Thanks for checking in. I'm happy to hear that it's not just me! That's how I feel too - terrorized!! Today has been much better. I left the house for 3 hours for a play date and that really helped a lot!</p> <p>@Smurfette: I'm glad to hear this could just be a phase! I haven't reached out one-on-one yet, but I really should.</p> <p>@rachiecakes: We could totes be friends :)</p> <p>@cookie_dough: Yay another Ottawa bee!! Thanks for the support. We should definitely plan a meetup. My DD is only 4.5 months so I am still on mat leave for a while longer :) I'd love to hear about the activities you found while you were off! Getting out of the house is key for me, but I don't always know where to go, and I can only walk around the mall so much... </p> <p>@LuLu Mom: I think some of us are definitely developing friendships, which is awesome. I think I might reach out on a more individual level, I am just always worried people will think I'm weird... lol.</p> <p>@MrsMcD: I have been talking to my husband about it. He's really worried about me. I need to pick myself up out of this slump!!! Tomorrow he's going to watch the baby while I go to the mall :). DD doesn't take a bottle, we've tried lots, so it kind of limits what I can do by myself. </p> <p>@meredithNYC: I'm so glad to hear it gets better! The women's group sounds like a really great idea. I will look into something like that.</p> <p>@Silva: I am due for a visit to my office! I'll set that up. My husband is super supportive, the biggest issue is that M still won't take a bottle, so it kind of limits what I can do because I can't be away long. We're working on that too.</p> <p>@heartonastring: No luck on the bottle front, yet. Boo. I find I am feeling better talking about it too, I have made an embarrassing number of phone calls to my mom the last few days... I'll look into the momstown thing! And thanks for friending me on facebook, that helps too :)</p> <p>@scg00387: What's PU/PD? I'm part of a moms group on facebook and that's about my only social time (we organize 2 play groups a week). It helps a lot. The days I don't get out are definitely the roughest. Oddly, my mom was just here a week and a half ago. Strange time for me to have a meltdown... I'm also going home for 10 days in a few weeks, hopefully that'll help me recharge!</p> <p>@googly-eyes: The walks are certainly helpful. I like that I still feel like a good mom, but I don't have to entertain her. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself, and letting her play independently is something I should work on. She's a busy baby so it's totally exhausting.</p> <p>@Vegmama: @JoJoGirl: @Crisark: @Lindsay05: Thanks ladies!</p> <p>@Elderberrygin: Thanks. Glad to hear the nap situation should get better!!!! Today was a little better too, so that helped my mood. The libraries here don't have anything in the summer but all of that is starting up again now so I will definitely check that out. Hugs to you too! It's so hard not having friends or family around.</p> <p>@AprilFool: Ugh. I am sorry you are dealing with this too :( I hope it's just a quick phase. </p> <p>@Corduroy: It's all done through facebook so I can definitely contact people that way, that's a good idea :)</p> <p>@MamaMoose: I'm headed "home" in a couple of weeks for 10 days so that will hopefully help a lot! The only problem is after I visit I just get more homesick :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1070186 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:22:31 +0000 edelweiss 1070186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. we're here for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067905 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 15:39:28 +0000 MamaMoose 1067905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you go visit your family for a few days for a change of pace and to get some help during the days? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067878 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 15:21:49 +0000 Crisark 1067878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( HUGS </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067872 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 15:19:51 +0000 Corduroy 1067872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, you deserve hugs. I felt similarly on maternity leave. I can still barely handle the 30 minute naps on the weekend and that's only two days. </p> <p>Have you shared contact information with the other moms at the playgroup? When I want company I send out a facebook message to the mommy group saying "LO and I are headed to the park/Target/wherever if anyone wants to join." You might get a more personal connection with some of the women that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067747 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 14:33:17 +0000 Lindsay05 1067747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you feel this way. I hope things turn around for you soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067733 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 14:30:15 +0000 AprilFool 1067733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can commiserate with the naps.... my wonderful napper is now lucky to sleep 45 mins max after a 20 min battle to get her down and it really does suck! There is no chance to recharge. It is exhausting being so constantly on. I don't know what to do about it so am just trying to hang on *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067673 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 14:11:06 +0000 Elderberrygin 1067673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hon, I could've written exactly this two months ago. Even now after nap consolidation I still have days like this. I'm an ex pat living in a new city with very few friends around. The third minute naps are so soul destroying. They truly do come to an end. I despaired of it ever happening but eventually she grew into them.</p> <p>I found daily walks really helped. Even chatting to the barista at my local cafe made me feel a bit less cut off. You could try looking into local community resources. The local library here has programming for parents and kids. There's a couple of baby story time hours at the vaious branches. Even if your LO is too young to really appreciate it, you'll get to meet other parents. I also find the local playground is a good place to go. There's a lot of other moms out there feeling lonely and isolated. I always have a few people come up and say hi and ask how old my Lo is etc. I haven't found a group of mom-friends yet, but these little steps make the long days more bearable.</p> <p>Hang in there. *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067630 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:56:40 +0000 JoJoGirl 1067630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067621 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:53:34 +0000 Vegmama 1067621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending hugs ... </p> <p>We live far away from all family, and with a LO on the way, I have these fears, too. The responses above are really encouraging though.</p> <p>I think it's really good that you're expressing your feelings ... I agree with trying to find a mom's group, maybe a baby &amp; me yoga class. </p> <p>Thinking of you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067615 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:50:42 +0000 googly-eyes 1067615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs hugs hugs!!</p> <p>My dh works 12-12.5 hr shifts + OT often and in the earlier months (til ~7?) when LO needed to nap more I did the same thing. Still don't have a ton of friends but am going back to work soon and have already gone back to grad school. I just don't think permanent SAHMhood is for everyone...not me. One year in it is A LOT more enjoyable though! Seeing people is easier when lo doesn't need to nap so frequently, and getting out to school and work has helped me feel like myself again.</p> <p>Know that you can take a moment (or 2 or 3) to yourself even when LO is awake... Independent play is ok for awhile. You may notice a pattern..for my dd this is easier to do in the morning. Also, going on walks can sometimes lift both your and baby's moods. Lots of babies like to be outside and while walking you don't have to try so hard to entertain.</p> <p>I know you said your ILs are busy but if you could prearrange some time away (a night, a weekend, etc) that could help too. </p> <p>Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067525 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:27:36 +0000 immabeetoo 1067525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: hugs! I could've written this post a few months ago minus the DH's long hours. What helped me most was taking 1 or more walks a day and trying to get out of the house as much as possible. 30 minute naps are a BITCH. Seriously. We were there. We did PU/PD sleep training when he was around 5ish months and although it took a while, it was lifechanging when he could put himself to sleep and slowly started sleeping longer. </p> <p>Have you tried looking on Facebook for any local moms groups? I know it's hard to go from acquaintances to friends even when you're trying to get out and about. </p> <p>I promise it will get better!! Could any of your family or friends come in and visit for a weekend? Are you involved in a church that might have a mom's night out/day out with free childcare? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067506 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:23:18 +0000 heartonastring 1067506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh honey, I wish I lived closer, I would come give you a big hug.</p> <p>I have been where you are and it is effing hard. I wish I had good advice for you. In my case, the thing that helped the most was talking about it. I was bottling it all up inside and when I finally started talking about it - talking about how alone I felt, talking about how I didn't LOVE motherhood like everyone seemed to think I should - that's when I started to feel better. I also make a conscious decision to just surrender to my new life and stop trying to live the way I did pre-baby. </p> <p>Those short naps are killer and I know what you mean. We went through a period of short naps and it's like I'm shell-shocked now because I still look at the monitor with trepidation and I can't have the sound turned on during the day because it stresses me out too much.</p> <p>Do you have a momstown.ca group in your area? I joined the one here recently and have found it to be worth the membership fee. (I just looked on the website and there is one in your city)</p> <p>Hmm...what else? I find getting outside for walks is helpful....vitamin D + a bit of a meditative walk does the mind and body good.</p> <p>Any luck with M taking a bottle? If so, can your DH do bedtime so that you can do something for yourself in the evening?</p> <p>Big hugs. PM me anytime if you want to talk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067460 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:03:10 +0000 Silva 1067460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :( I think motherhood is very lonely and isolating. Play groups and walks are great. Could you work part time somewhere? Go visit your old office for lunch? Plan a girls night out and have your husband stay with the babe? Have you talked to him about how you are feeling? He might have some ideas? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067456 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:00:48 +0000 meredithNYC 1067456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I can totally relate. We are far away from both of our families and none of our friends have kids yet, so the first year was just rough. What I can tell you is that it does get better. My LO is 15 months old now and I feel like we can do so much more - plus, her naps are consistent and I get some peace when she's asleep during the day.</p> <p>For me, making friends through mom groups didn't work so well. I don't know why, but I just found it hard to connect with people. What did work is joining the local branch of a women's group that does volunteer work as well as social stuff. Some of the women are moms, some are single, but I've made a lot of friends. And now some of the women with children are people I see for playdates during the week or the occasional drink in the evening while our husbands look after the kids. I love it because it gives me adult time and makes me feel more like my "old" self, which is something I struggled with a lot after I had a baby and became a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067451 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:59:35 +0000 deactivated_account 1067451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: I'm so sorry you are feeling alone! At the very least, you have your HelloBee friends here!! :happy: Have you talked to your DH about how you are feeling? Maybe you and him can take the baby and go for a walk together when he gets home from work. Or maybe he can watch the baby for an hour or so while you go take a class at your local gym. Is there a mom's group you can join? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067450 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:59:16 +0000 LuLu Mom 1067450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! I agree with the PP, get fresh air, it really is nature's cure. Also, you need adult time, can you join a local book club or maybe the Y to meet other adults your age. One it will give you energy, two you can meet new friends and possibly have people to socialize with. </p> <p>Are there any mom's in your play group you think you can connect with on a friendship level? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067439 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:54:23 +0000 cookie_dough 1067439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SSLM: I'm so sorry that you are feeling so lonely :-( I actually kept meaning to reply to your meet-up email but it slipped my mind. I'm in Ottawa too and would totally be willing to meet up with you! I think that my DD is a bit older than yours (almost 14 months), but I'm sure that we could still find something to do :-) I know that it can be really hard to make friends even when going to playgroups, etc. Also, if you need any suggestions for activities to do with your LO during the day, DD and I were signed up for tons of activities while I was on mat leave (I'm back at work now). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067384 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:33:39 +0000 rachiecakes 1067384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sslm: :::hugs::: wish we could hang out!<br /> When I moved to a new city, I got a part time retail job to meet people. I only works two nights a week for a few hours but the friends I made are lifers :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067379 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:31:03 +0000 Smurfette 1067379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hugs!!!</p> <p>I felt this way on maternity leave. The 30 mins naps suck, no other way to put it. R was the queen of them, now that she is almost 6 months, she is starting to take longer ones for frequently. So fingers crossed that is coming for you too. </p> <p>Have you asked any of the Mom's at the play groups if they want to meet for coffee one on one? That way you have some real adult conversation. On the weekends, can DH take LO and give you some time to yourself. Go get a pedicure to help you recharge yourself? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067372 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:28:19 +0000 edelweiss 1067372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>lots of hugs. it is hard. i totally understand the "it takes a village" saying now. we moved to a new area a few years before LO was born and not having friends is really weighing on me.</p> <p>i felt terrorized by my LO's naps in the early months. literally, i would just sit there, practically rocking back and forth and *waiting* for him to cry because i knew it would either be 20 minutes or 45 minutes. it gave me PTSD. i couldn't stop hearing him cry even if he wasn't.</p> <p>i don't have a lot of words of advice, just hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067365 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:26:38 +0000 banana 1067365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no. I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone. I think a lot of moms can relate, especially those who live far away from their families. It's already so hard (emotionally and physically) to take care of a little one. And doing it alone makes it so much harder. It's good that you're going out on play dates and socializing. Taking strolls outside with your LO is always nice (breath of fresh air does wonders). And you always have HB! We're here 24/7 for any support you need! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-so-alone#post-1067355 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:23:25 +0000 sslm 1067355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live away from my family and in the same city as my in-laws. I feel like I have basically no support system here. My in-laws both work and are very busy, my SIL is a lot younger than me, and works as well. </p> <p>I feel like I am sinking. I have very few friends, even though I am trying so hard, going to play groups and stuff... but I have never in my life felt more alone.</p> <p>This is compounded by LO taking only 30 minute naps. I feel so trapped and like I am suffocating. I am alone with her for 10 hours a day because DH works 8-5 and has a long commute. </p> <p>Every time she wakes up after only 30 minutes, I cry. </p> <p>I don't know what to do. </p>