https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Jul 2026 01:33:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507604 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:31:40 +0000 Mrs. Blue 507604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand the way you feel. Some people from work gave me a little shower, but my main shower with all my friends and family was going to be 6 hours away from me. My docs won't let me travel that far, so no shower. Now my friends say they will all come visit after the babies are born and I hope that really happens, but I'm a little sad to not have the big celebration with all the people I love. </p> <p>I think your idea of doing a big first birthday is great! That way it gives everyone a chance to celebrate LO and it might give you a little taste of the excitement of a shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507582 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:27:57 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 507582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sympathize! My wedding was similar. Some family members made the planning a nightmare (special requests, complained that their daughter wasn't in the wedding party, then I asked their daughter to do a reading and she declined my offer out of spite.) then on wedding day they didn't show up (after RSVPing) and didn't send a gift. Now she's getting married on a holiday weekend and wants all this attention. She's also quite wealthy so her wedding and honeymoon will be way nicer than mine. So every time I hear about it, I get stung! Dunno what to do about it. Just grit my teeth and bear it I guess! People are so inconsistent and thoughtless at times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507548 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:20:58 +0000 Alivoo01 507548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can also understand your feeling, and think it's totally legit! I think throwing a stellar 1st birthday party would be awesome!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507490 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:04:33 +0000 bienlivingdesign 507490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand being bummed about that! &amp; I think that having a 1st birthday bash is a great idea :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507482 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:02:23 +0000 T-Mom 507482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BelugaBean: I know how you feel and it's ok to feel bad about it. I hope the awesome party you are planning totally makes up for it :-)<br /> @Anagram: we moved in the middle of my pregnancy too, so I didn't have a shower. I feel ya! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507476 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:59:23 +0000 ladyfingers 507476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally get why you're bummed -- I would be too! Don't feel dumb! I think going all out for LO's birthday is a fantastic idea :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507444 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:46:25 +0000 autumnlove 507444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww! I hope your LO has a great party! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507407 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:30:52 +0000 Sammyfab 507407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww...I'm sorry! Don't feel dumb though because I know I'd feel the same way. When I started reading your post, I immediately thought that you should throw a big first birthday party. Babies are amazing and there is no shame in thinking they deserve to be celebrated whether it's before they're born, immediately after they're born, or a year after they're born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507383 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:20:45 +0000 Anagram 507383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the same boat, so I sympathize. I didn't have a wedding shower, because we moved several states away 3 months before the wedding...and now I won't have a baby shower, because we just moved here and I don't really have any close friends here yet and won't get to go back home.</p> <p>*sad face*</p> <p>but that's the breaks, I guess! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507376 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:15:31 +0000 Foodnerd81 507376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Katm558: That's just dumb-- why would you return a gift at that point? The baby still needs stuff, even more when mom is on bedrest and unable to go out and buy it or go to work to earn the money for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507374 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:14:40 +0000 Foodnerd81 507374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely feel the same way. I was just talking to DH about something similar-- my family is all about 5 hours away, so I'm assuming my sister will throw me a shower down there, where our family is (this is what we did for my wedding shower and it was fine). But since then I've been to a bunch of showers up here, and I don't really have anyone who is so close they would throw the shower, even though plenty of people would come to a local one. I sort of feel, in a totally ungrateful bratty way, like I bought so many people gifts and I wouldn't mind if they got me some now. I'll only ever tell that to DH and now you ladies though :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507318 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:50:21 +0000 T.H.O.U. 507318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw I'm so sorry. I agree with the idea of having a huge first birthday party (which I'm not normally a fan of!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507303 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:42:08 +0000 Mrsbells 507303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BelugaBean: we didnt have a shower either because I wanted to have a bigger party afterwards. Just go all out for the birthday and it will definitely make up for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507299 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:41:14 +0000 Katm558 507299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, to add to my previous comment above--when my first shower was cancelled (which was being held by my in-laws family 1000 miles away), guests actually RETURNED gifts!! I do NOT understand why someone would do that?! Just because I was sick doesn't mean that the baby was, or that we weren't in need of the gifts they were intending to give to us. Just because there wasn't a party doesn't mean there wasn't a baby on the way!!</p> <p>Can you tell I'm still bitter?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507293 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:38:16 +0000 Katm558 507293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know exactly how you feel x2!! We live far away from family, so that immediately made things more difficult. For DS1 there was a shower planned, and a week before, I was admitted into the hospital because of pre-e. After being released (on the day of the shower, 1000 miles away), I was put on strict bedrest. I heard that friends were planning on throwing one, but there was apparently some drama between the planners and it never happened.</p> <p>With DS2 I got pre-e again and was put on bedrest. I'm not sure if people didn't want to even try to plan anything because the boys were only 2 years apart and they didn't think we needed anything, or because of my history of complications. Either way, I was, and still am, incredibly bummed that neither of my boys got a party to celebrate their arrivals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507259 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:20:05 +0000 Bookish 507259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, don't feel dumb! Like @MediaNaranja: we didn't get a wedding shower either, and while I know I should be grateful that I got to marry my DH, it still stings that no one threw us one. I definitely get those jealousy twinges when I see other showers and big wedding celebrations on Facebook! It's normal :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507249 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:16:05 +0000 MediaNaranja 507249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww, I know exactly how you feel. Dh and I didnt have a wedding, since we had a very short timeframe in which to get married (immigration stuff) and while it was perfect for us I was surprised at the twangs of jealousy I felt when we recently attended a friend's wedding. I was upset that people seemed to take it more seriously than they did ours (we only got one congrats card and it was from my parents, lol), and (this makes me feel terrible) was upset that we didn't get a single gift (I want a kitchenaid mixer too, damnit!).</p> <p>I think it is a great idea to go all out for your lo's first birthday! It will give people a chance to come together and celebrate your growing family. Happy planning! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507236 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:10:04 +0000 BelugaBean 507236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: Yeah I didn't think about it pretty much at all until recently when everyone started talking about the three awesome showers coming up! I'm trying to be focused more on getting healthy and taking care of LO but I know the jealousy will come back a bit when I actually go to these showers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507229 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:05:01 +0000 littlek 507229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs... I can understand while you would feel twinges of jealousy. I didn't have a baby shower either because my LO came 6 weeks early. I get a little jealous when I hear about other peoples baby showers since I was never able to have one. I don't think about it much now because I'm busy with work, LO, getting healthy, etc. I'm sure your LOs first bday will be awesome!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507226 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:03:14 +0000 rachiecakes 507226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BelugaBean: I think you should absolutely go all out for LO's birthday! Your baby deserves a big celebration :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-feel-stupid-that-this-bothers-me#post-507222 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 08:59:18 +0000 BelugaBean 507222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I never got a baby shower. We lived extremely far away until I was 38 weeks pregnant and couldn't afford to come back to have a shower. Then when we moved, my doctor wanted me close to my hospital, which was two hours away from everyone. Everyone had planned to give us sort of a "meet the baby" get together when LO was a few weeks old and we were settled in so that we'd have that in place of a shower. However, I've posted this before, my FIL passed away unexpectedly when LO was 2.5 weeks old. So it never happened (understandably), and I forgot about it until recently.</p> <p>We have three baby showers coming up soon and I hate thinking about how there was never a shower to celebrate our LO. I didn't even want gifts. I just wanted a get together to talk about our baby and have all the attention be on her and her upcoming or already happened birth. </p> <p>DH and I decided to go all out, even more than we had planned before, for LO's first birthday. Hopefully this will make me feel better about it and I realize that it honestly isn't a big deal. I know that I'm lucky that LO is happy and completely healthy and that we have such a wonderful family who loves her. I guess this is just a vent, and probably sounds selfish to some, but I just needed to get it out. DH is really the only one I've been able to talk to about this because I don't want anyone to feel bad, because they shouldn't. </p>