https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 10:31:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1637442 Thu, 15 May 2014 16:21:22 +0000 prettylizy 1637442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: WTG mama, I agree with you, for some reason the first 2 months are bonkers hard! I'm on DD2 and she is JUST 2 months and even though I made it to 14 months with DD1, I almost quit like 15 times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1637410 Thu, 15 May 2014 16:13:51 +0000 Pumuckl 1637410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: yay, what a great update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1637277 Thu, 15 May 2014 15:47:59 +0000 jetsa 1637277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: yay so glad it got better!! I disliked it and it HURT for the first 12 weeks and now I love it. Little man will be 8 months Saturday and it's going great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1637217 Thu, 15 May 2014 15:31:30 +0000 birdofafeather 1637217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: so glad it got better! yay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636804 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:44:38 +0000 lawbee11 1636804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: Glad it got better! Good for you for sticking it out! Hope it continues to get better and better :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636794 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:42:30 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1636794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: glad it got better.. good for you for sticking it out for 8 weeks! I don't think I could have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636793 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:42:15 +0000 Boheme 1636793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: So happy for you! It really does get easier and easier. Yeah, pumping is kind of a pain but I secretly like the little breaks I get ;) I hope it continues to get better for you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636790 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:40:47 +0000 Anagram 1636790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: So glad you made it through! Did you go to the mom's group on Tuesdays? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636779 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:38:35 +0000 autumnlove 1636779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry! I hated it the first month and it got better. I enjoyed it around 3 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1636772 Thu, 15 May 2014 13:37:41 +0000 ElbieKay 1636772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all! I am now 10wks postpartum and breast feeding is going great! It took 8 weeks and then it magically got better. Sometimes nature is cool, but apparently sometimes it is stupid! So far I still have an exclusively breast milk-fed baby. We'll see how pumping goes when I return to work in another 12 days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1554546 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 15:04:03 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1554546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry it's rough right now! 4 weeks was the worst for us too! Like many of the others, we had a turning point at the 6-8 week mark. I would just focus on one feeding at a time. I would give myself a pep talk every.single.time. until it got easier. Are you science-y? I liked reading research articles about longterm benefits for LO (as opposed to parenting fluff) as motivation while I was feeding/pumping. Just an idea. hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1554420 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 14:26:08 +0000 googly-eyes 1554420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: those early days are hard even with ff. It will get easier no matter what you decide. I know lots of people are passionate about bf around here but the further I get from the infant stage the more I feel like it wasn't a big deal. LO got some breast milk and I did what I could at the time. I just would feel bad if I said go ahead and quit and then you quit and in a week felt that feeding wasn't the "real" problem (maybe isolation, boredom, whatever was) and then had to deal with the bf guilt that so many of us feel when bf doesn't work out for whatever reasons. But you are doing great, you aren't alone in your worries, and it WILL get better. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552865 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 08:22:47 +0000 lawbee11 1552865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: PPs have given great advice. You really are in the thick of it right now. It will most likely get better, but if you think it's better for your mental health to switch to formula then you should! There were several times my DH tried to get me to switch because it was so emotionally draining being the only one that could feed her, but I was stubborn and powered through and now I have a completely different view of breastfeeding.</p> <p>But I also read where you said, "My baby sure is cute, but cute only gets me so far in terms of making up for the relentlessness of taking care of him. I miss using my brain." Switching to formula may make feeding easier (though there are certainly times where BFing has been much more convenient for me than FF would be). But the first year is really rough. My LO is 8 months old and I still have times where I just sit and cry and feel sorry for myself (and it has nothing to do with BFing). ((HUGS)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552863 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 08:22:22 +0000 SleepyMonkey 1552863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as previous posters, I absolutely hated it for like 6 weeks. truly loathed it And gave my dh dirty looks every time he brought me the baby. Like "i JUST fed her and you want me to do it again?" Pure torture. But at 8 weeks it got better and by 12 weeks I was loving it. So if you are really determined to make it work then stick it out and set small goals for yourself. Like one feed, one day, or one week. If you can't bear another day then quit and don't look back!! Either way is perfectly fine, your baby will be healthy either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552715 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:25:35 +0000 LemonLong 1552715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took 6-8 weeks for me until breastfeeding started to become comfortable. I hated it. I would cry at every feeding and I dreaded it....but then it started to get better. I was able to breastfeed for 13 months. I can totally understand where you are coming from, the first couple of weeks were so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552711 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:23:22 +0000 ElbieKay 1552711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lavender: @char54: @SweetiePie: @hilsy85: @Adira: @GrapeCrush: @T.H.O.U.: Thanks everyone! Everything you say makes sense. I'll see how things go in the next few weeks and try to take it one day at a time. But this is really making me not enjoy my maternity leave!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552709 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:22:58 +0000 Lindsay05 1552709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww sorry you feel this way. I am currently bfing our second child. With both of our LOs, they started to get fussy and battling the breast around the same time. So we started supplementing and it has taken a LOT of stress off of me. I will admit that I have never enjoyed breastfeeding. Like others, I never got that bonding feel. I am going to by my bodies cues and wean when it gets to be too much of a struggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552693 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:11:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1552693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. Pumping really is the pits. My outlook on pumping was different when I was at work. Even if I couldn't be with my baby during the day, at least I could do something and have some time to think about her. </p> <p>The LC I saw told me to feel free to use a bit of lanolin when pumping. She said for sensitive damaged skin, the lanolin can help with the friction of the pump. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552692 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:11:11 +0000 Smurfette 1552692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was never a huge fan of BF either. Never a bonding experience for me. But I will say that I was right where you are now and I am glad that I stuck with it for a couple more weeks. Then we found our groove and then at 6 months I started to wean her. </p> <p>I would give it a couple weeks and see how it goes. If you still feel this way, then 100% support you in quitting. It isn't for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552675 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 07:01:10 +0000 GrapeCrush 1552675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good luck to you, with whatever you choose. I hated BFing, both of my kids. I never got that warm tingling bonding experience that people talk about, and I'm ok with that. Bottle feeding was just so much more of a bonding experience for me and my children. You truly have to decide what is best for you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552662 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 06:55:15 +0000 Adira 1552662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YEP! This was totally me at this stage!!! I also had trauma to one nipple (the other one was MOSTLY okay) so I took a break from breastfeeding and pumped. It SUCKED!!!! And I wanted to quit sooooo bad!!!</p> <p>BUT then at 7 weeks, things suddenly got better! And now we're 13 months and still nursing and I LOVE it!</p> <p>So my advice is to just stick it out a couple more weeks and then re-evaulate. Breastfeeding definitely isn't for everyone, but it's USUALLY pretty bad in the very beginning and then gets better. Hopefully that's the case for you! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552650 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 06:49:13 +0000 hilsy85 1552650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also had major nipple pain and trauma, and at 4 weeks it was AWFUL. I was in so much pain and thought it would never get better. But it did. By 8.5 weeks, the pain was gone and we were nursing well. So things will PROBABLY (like 90%) get better. But it's totally up to you if you feel like you can make it til then. It's really hard when in the moment it's painful and uncomfortable and preventing you from actually feeling connected to the baby. SO whatever choice you make is a good one. I agree with maybe setting goals--like giving it til 6 weeks, at first, and then 12 weeks, and then see how you feel, especially if you're going back to work then! good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552648 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 06:47:40 +0000 SweetiePie 1552648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @lavender. I haven't done it yet since I'm still expecting, but I find it hard to believe that the benefits of breast milk outweigh the cost of your sanity and happiness. If you're miserable doing it it's bound to trickle into other aspects of life (as does anything that makes us miserable).<br /> I plan (which, I know what they say about plans) on giving breast feeding a couple of weeks and if I hate it, I'll switch to formula. Being the ONE person responsible for feeding the baby, even if I don't feel like it, overwhelms me! I'm already afraid of ppd since I'm naturally an emotional person - the last thing I need is to dislike the process of feeding my child, losing sleep I don't need to lose, etc.<br /> But I can also see why it can be an incredibly bonding and rewarding experience, which is why I'll give it a shot. </p> <p>Everyone is different! Don't feel like you have to BF just because people say you should. I really don't like how society makes women feel about breast feeding. As if not doing it is a failure or mistreating our child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552638 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 06:38:00 +0000 Charm54 1552638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to pop in and say I understand....I didn't enjoy BFing either and it was a struggle . In the end bottle feeding was much more of a warm and fuzzy bonding experience for me. </p> <p>I guess it would depend on how important bfing is to you. Would you look back and wish it had work out? If so, Id power through and try to find some helpful resources since everyone says it does get better as time goes on.</p> <p>However, for me, bfing was never a huge goal of mine... I think the long term benefits are largely overstated so when the going got tough I didn't feel badly quitting and EPing. I EPed &amp; supplemented for 6 months but I have a year long mat leave...if I had to go back to work earlier I would have skipped the pumping and just switched to formula. </p> <p>I did feel a lot of guilt in the beginning (I think because society told me I *should* feel guilty?) but now that I've seen how LO has grown and flourished on formula and I have my mental sanity in tact I am 100% happy with our feeding journey and will not attempt bfing with any future LOs, I will either EP or FF from the beginning. </p> <p>But like I said - bfing was never a major goal of mine so I don't lament what might have been. The great part about hellobee is that if you do want to power through and keep on keeping on , there's lots of awesome mamas to support you in your bfing goals also! All this to say, it's okay to switch to formula. It's okay to keep breastfeeding. Whatever is best for you, your baby, and your family - I support you !</p> <p>Good luck :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552623 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 06:28:06 +0000 lavender 1552623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>BF/ pumping isn't for everyone. If you hate it so much there is nothin wrong with stopping. I am in the camp "happy mama, happy baby" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552597 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 05:42:30 +0000 Applesandbananas 1552597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: It might. I was worried about it affecting my supply but it rebounded quickly when I decided to go back to EBF. Maybe you could do it 2-3x a week instead of every night? I really think a longer stretch of sleep would help you feel better. Those early days are so brutally exhausting. I remember being in your shoes and I wish I could hug you through the computer. It's rough but it does get better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552595 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 05:36:18 +0000 ElbieKay 1552595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: Thanks, I was assuming that would adversely affect my supply but maybe we should look into it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552592 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 05:34:08 +0000 Applesandbananas 1552592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: We had major issues and my LC suggested that I supplement to give myself a break. I was about 7-8 weeks pp and started subbing a night pump session for a formula bottle and sleeping through that feeding (DH's turn!) and it made a world of difference. My supply rebounded just fine when I decided to go back to EBF but I credit supplementing with saving our nursing relationship.</p> <p>I wish I hadn't put so much pressure on myself to EBF. I regret spending so much time strapped to a pump and stressing over supply. Don't make that mistake. Enjoy your baby and follow your heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552568 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 05:04:46 +0000 ElbieKay 1552568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CRGmama: Yes, sometimes I feel like the "natural" aspect is a very annoying part of our zeitgeist.</p> <p>@birdofafeather: Today he is 4w5d old. I go to a weekly moms group that is run by a lactation consultant and will go again tomorrow. I just reserved a spot in a small group consultation in two days, and I just found out about another breast feeding support group in my town which I will go to in three days.</p> <p>I have been told about a 6-8 week turning point by others too, but I was also told about a 2-week turning point which didn't happen. So I'm a little wary of holding out in anticipation of another turning point. I think I will just tie my decision about continuing to my return to work. I can't handle this stress and discomfort in addition to working. Right now work seems like a very appealing alternative to nursing/pumping hell! I think I will like being a mom better when I get a regular break from it.</p> <p>@googly-eyes: Thanks.</p> <p>@Kemma: What do you mean about bf'ing looking different "down the track"?</p> <p>Yes, he had about a grade 3 upper lip tie and we had both that and his tongue lasered when he was 12 days old.</p> <p>My issue is that I have a painful latch which temporarily improved after his lip tie was treated but now it's getting bad again. I have never successfully nursed him round the clock; at a minimum I have to pump through 3-4 night feedings in order to get through the day with him while my husband is at work.</p> <p>Meanwhile, pumping is inefficient and I have to pump for 25-30 minutes. I can't (and, frankly, refuse to for sanity reasons) manage that kind of time commitment while trying to watch the baby during the day. Initially I pumped an oversupply but now I am not keeping up with what he eats so I have had to dip into my freezer stash (which got up to ~64oz within a couple of weeks). And yes, I am massaging/compressing while I pump, and I have a hospital grade double pump with a hands-free bra. But I have very sensitive skin and can only tolerate low settings on the pump which creates a Catch 22 in terms of the inefficiency of the pump. I also really hate pumping due to the discomfort, inefficiency, and ridiculous time commitment.</p> <p>@MrsKoala: Thanks. Luckily I do not feel touched out, but I get really tired of holding the baby when he is fussy. The inability to get anything else done drives me crazy. When I am away from him for awhile -- e.g., his dad usually takes him overnight and handles his bottle feedings while I get up and pump -- then I am happy to see him but by the end of the day I am totally over it. He goes back to sleep pretty well overnight but is a reluctant napper during the day.</p> <p>I just can't get over the tedium and discomfort of it all. When nursing was going better right after his lip procedure, I was in somewhat better spirits but now I am back to being jealous that my husband gets to go to work every day. My baby sure is cute, but cute only gets me so far in terms of making up for the relentlessness of taking care of him. I miss using my brain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-breast-feeding#post-1552542 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 03:36:14 +0000 MrsKoala 1552542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: I felt similarly until I went back to work. All of the sudden I looked forward to breastfeeding on the week nights. Although, i do still feel touched out on the weekends when it's all BF all the time. I think your plan to reevaluate is a really good one. </p>