https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 16:25:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2049370 Sun, 01 Feb 2015 11:26:14 +0000 jedeve 2049370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How did the convo go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2049110 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 22:13:29 +0000 QueensBee 2049110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm totally biased because my LO's name is Peter, and it's a family name from my husband's side. :silly: But regardless, I agree with many of the pp. If it's important to your husband, I think using it at a middle name would be a good compromise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2049102 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 21:52:35 +0000 littlebug 2049102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: It's my sister's husband, and I'm not sure how they handle the numbers, to be honest. I guess it might be annoying for him to explain, but I don't think difficult. My sister's name was very unique growing up, and she constantly had to explain/pronounce/spell it, but she loves her name. And if he chooses to go by his real first or middle name as he gets older, he can! Though he'll always be Quinn to me. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048925 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 17:04:46 +0000 cait 2048925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: Don't do it for grandma! Haha I'm sorry, I don't care how mean that makes me sound. It's one thing to compromise with your DH if it's meaningful to him, but it's not reasonable to expect someone to name their kid to appease someone else. Especially if you think you'll announce your son's name and she's still be cranky about it! She and her DH had their turn to name their babies whatever they liked, now it's your and your DH's turn - enjoy it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048861 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 16:06:14 +0000 AmandaB8 2048861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I was talking about this with my husband, and apparently his family ran into the same issue. His dad was named "Anselm Robert" but always went by Robert. When the obsessed relative died, his mom filled out name change paperwork and his name has been Robert Anselm legally since he was 11. </p> <p>A weird way to go about it, but it worked!</p> <p>And thankfully, it didn't continue for DH's generation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048845 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 15:39:15 +0000 Astro Bee 2048845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmandaB8: yes, grandma is very religious, and also very opinionated. So while she would understand the reference to Simon, I don't think anything less than Peter as a first name would satisfy her. Pierce is another nice name, though. </p> <p>@Mrs. Jets: I am not against tradition or honouring our families. Earlier I stated that for years I've said how great it would be to use FIL's and my dad's middle name, which is Michael, and a long standing family name in both families, if we ever had a son. I just don't like the name Peter. Although, I see how my feelings on the name would certainly bother you. Just as you chose to name your child, I wish to have some say in naming mine. That's really what this comes back to. </p> <p>@Littlebug: I like how your family managed this same issue. I love the name Quinn! Do you think that it might be difficult for him to explain as he gets older? That's why DH just takes the path of least resistance and goes by Peter at work. He got so sick of having to explain his very unique nn (it starts with Z) and why it's not part of his full name or even an initial. But at least Quinn is a logical nickname for the 5th. Does your husband's family use Roman numerals after their name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048843 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 15:28:16 +0000 charlotte 2048843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm totally with you on the name because I used to know a couple of awful Peters. BUT our friends call their son Pete and I think it is so cute for him. Hoping you guys can come up with something that makes you both happy. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048842 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 15:27:46 +0000 78h2o 2048842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: that's a really cool compromise! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048830 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 15:06:52 +0000 Mrsjets 2048830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that the tradition is really neat. I would probably go with it and just call DS by his middle name (even with the possible family name mix ups) but I think the least you could do is give him the middle name. It seems really selfish not to IMO. I mean, how often is a middle name used anyways.</p> <p>Also, my dad is a Peter and my DS has Peter as his middle name to honor him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048791 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 13:57:31 +0000 littlebug 2048791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister and her husband just went through this. By BIL is the 4th in his family (GAH, the 4th). His father goes by a nn for G. BIL goes by the A name (so the middle name). When they found out they were having a boy, they couldn't decide if thry wanted to keep the trtradition, go with another name completely, or find a way to honor the tradition without actually using the name. Ultimately, they named him GAH, the 5th, but they call him Quinn, as an homage to being the 5th (quin- being the traditional prefix for 5s, like quintuplets). </p> <p>Long story short, is there a way you could do something like that? Otherwise, I'd say it's time to compromise and at least use it as a middle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048727 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 12:20:31 +0000 AmandaB8 2048727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is grandma religious? Saint Peter was originally named Simon... ;) </p> <p>Pierce is the Irish version if that's an option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048450 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 02:40:15 +0000 lemondrop 2048450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jruess: @Torchwood: Similar situation with Raymond as a mn, (I actually had wanted first name Will, but as soon as the idea of Billy Ray came up, it was eliminated) wasn't my first choice or even on my radar, but has grown on me significantly since I love the heck out of my three year old ;) It also is now so precious to me because it was so important to my husband (a dear great uncle's name). </p> <p>Same thing happened with my husband and our #2 middle name, I was adamant, he was ok with it- it's grown on him considerably and we have yet to actually use middle names with either kiddo other than just general questions about names and announcements. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048443 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 01:58:48 +0000 littlejoy 2048443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: Every man in my family &amp; DH's family has "James" in their name. Seriously. I hated it. But, it was so important to him ... We decided it would be a middle name if we had a boy. We ended up having a girl, and after knowing now important it was, I offered it as a middle name for her. :) I had to take my opinion away, see his side, and suggest her first name!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048387 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:50:21 +0000 Astro Bee 2048387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcCarthy: @Erinpye: nice thought, but I'm afraid that wouldn't appease the grandmother. I've actually suggested the same thing for other people who are in similar situations! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048386 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:42:15 +0000 Astro Bee 2048386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. RV: @Eko: that's a thought, but we'd still have the mixup with several people legally having the same name, and there being mixups. I know this has annoyed DH in the past. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048385 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:38:29 +0000 Astro Bee 2048385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meganmp: there are some John/Jacks in our family, too. If we went with Peter as his first name, it would be the 7th in a row, and including DH, and there would be 5(!) Peters in currently on both sides of the family. It's more than a little confusing, especially with big families. Don't worry, I didn't find your comment snarky! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048380 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:29:28 +0000 Astro Bee 2048380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, everyone, for your responses. DH and I are planning a nice evening in tomorrow and will be going through our name choices. I'm definitely in a calmer state of mind now after reading your thoughts on the matter. </p> <p>@Pawprints: @Cait: you're probably right in that I've been borrowing trouble over worrying about how DH feels over this without actually hearing how strongly he feels about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo/page/2#post-2048283 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 21:01:04 +0000 cait 2048283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it all depends on how your DH really feels about it. Is it important to him or is it just that it's tradition and he doesn't want to ruffle feathers? You're the parents and you should both love your child's full name! I think traditions are nice when they are truly meaningful to those who carry them on, but when they become more of a burden, it's time to let them go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048249 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 20:40:15 +0000 MamaBehr 2048249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my family all the first born sons are named James. This goes back to at leas my great grandfather, and I was so pleased my SIL and brother named my nephew James. I was really worried they wouldn't, but I was pleasantly surprised.<br /> I don't have any advice, but being on the other side of it, it meant a lot to our family they kept the tradition. (That being said, it wasn't my place to express my opinion, and I wouldn't have brought it up if they had named my nephew something else). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048201 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:54:34 +0000 Ms. RV 2048201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about naming him Peter but calling him by his middle name? I've known a handful of people to do this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048155 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:30:33 +0000 MrsMccarthy 2048155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Middle name idea sounds best but I do think that should mean you get more say on the first if you hate it. Another compromise might be to use Peterson of some other form of Pete. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048137 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:10:01 +0000 meganmp 2048137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: I knew that if I had a boy, his name would be John, just like his father, grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great grandfather. Yup, my kid is a fifth. In all honesty, I think it's kind of a boring name, and that it doesn't really fit a young child. On top of it, that would make four Johns in the family at once. We compromised and still named him John, but he goes by Jack. It's not awesome, but in all honesty, I kind of forget that his name is John because he is so very much my little Jack-Jack. If Peter is your son's middle name, I'm sure it will not even cross your mind most days. </p> <p>I re-read what I wrote, and it sounds snarky. I promise, not my intent! I was just trying to share my situation, commiserate, and give you hope. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048092 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 18:04:09 +0000 Eko 2048092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a cousin whose first name is very traditional, named after his dad, grandfather, etc. but the whole family actually calls him by his middle name. Just another thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048082 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:48:39 +0000 PawPrints 2048082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems to me that you could be jumping the gun by agonizing over this before you've had a conversation with DH about it. It sounds like he very well might not feel that passionately about using Peter as the name. If he did feel strongly about using it, don't you think he would have said so already? Maybe he's feeling kind of over it as well. If that's the case then I don't think you have to use it as a first or middle name. The opinions of other relatives aren't really relevant. Your baby, your name choice.</p> <p>[ETA] I also would be willing to bet that DH has already picked up on your lack of enthusiasm for the name. So that could make it easier to have the conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048069 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:39:12 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2048069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: And to that point, I would say that it's not his grandmother's baby, so she doesn't get a say in what the baby's name is. I know that's saying it far more simply than you would say it to your DH, but until she's birthing the baby, she isn't naming him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048063 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:36:02 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2048063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: I think that's a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2048003 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:00:45 +0000 erinpye 2048003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely incorporate it if it's an honored tradition in your DH's family. What about using another variation of the name as a middle? That way it still honors the tradition of "Peter" in a new way? <a href="http://nameberry.com/list/168/Peters-International-Variations?all=1" rel="nofollow">http://nameberry.com/list/168/Peters-International-Variations?all=1</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2047830 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 15:45:38 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2047830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a thought -- could the name your husband goes by fit as a middle!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2047823 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 15:42:52 +0000 Torchwood 2047823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jruess: Though I guess I should just be glad he only wants to use it for a boy. Her has a cousin named Laura Ray, and that's what they call her! Not happening over here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-dhs-traditional-family-name-and-dont-want-to-use-it-for-lo#post-2047819 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 15:41:59 +0000 Torchwood 2047819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jruess: I was so glad we're having a girl so we don't have to deal with it. We've never agreed on a boy name either! Though our compromise for using it, since DH really cares, was that I get more say on girl names, and can insist on a family name if I want to use one. There's a good chance we'll be one and done, so that made it a win for me! :) </p>