https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 04:35:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2024400 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 20:58:14 +0000 GreenThumb 2024400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just found out about a second pregnant friend with a child my LOs age. Is it bad that I downed my prenatal with a glass of wine? I.HATE.IF!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2023194 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 10:13:50 +0000 Crystal 2023194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel all of these emotions everyone describes so acutely, it makes my heart ache. All of this is so true, and so sad, and so completely unfair. </p> <p>I hate that I have to choose between futures right now and the plan I had for myself because it's costing me a gazillion dollars for something others get so easily. And going through it is no guarantee it will happen. </p> <p>@FaithFertility: that is so true!!!</p> <p>@travellingbee: I'm right there with you. I feel intimidated looking down the barrel of the IF gun. </p> <p>@babycanuck: similar thing happened to me. It's the worst- I am so sorry. </p> <p>@MaryM: ❤️</p> <p>@mrswin: I hate how "ugly" I can be too. As if I didn't feel bad enough already. :bummed: </p> <p>@jaguar: all of that is so true. </p> <p>Hugs to everyone in this thread. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2023004 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 05:17:21 +0000 jaguar 2023004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The insane costs involved.<br /> The jealousy.<br /> The marital stress.<br /> The heartache.<br /> The constant justifications to the rest of the world about why you're not ready to 'just have a break/give up/try something else'.<br /> The way that it takes something that's meant to be simple, and special, and from a place of love and happiness, and completely ruins everything about the process.<br /> The plan-stealer... those 3 kids you really, really saw yourself having - well, that dream is over now.<br /> The fact that things don't magically fix themselves if you eventually get lucky.. and that it hurts worse the second time around, because you know what you're missing.<br /> The guilt of finally getting pregnant (if you're lucky) and leaving other infertiles in the trenches feeling alone.<br /> The waiting.<br /> Always the waiting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021910 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:56:25 +0000 ballerinabee 2021910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, yes, yes... </p> <p>Strain on the marriage, depression / self-blame / self-loathing, anxiety, hard to be around others, "helpful" advice, innocently meant comments that pack a sting, and that ugly ugly feeling of jealousy of others who appear to have an easy TTC journey.</p> <p>Frustrated, angry, sad, confused, envious and depressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021880 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:42:53 +0000 MaryM 2021880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the worst part of it for me, is that we did have that oops pregnancy (that ended in MC). So in a matter of two months I went from NTNP to struggling to TTC (and now a year later, to investigating IF)</p> <p>I never had that in between phase of TTC without all the "what ifs" hanging over me. And I feel like my doctors might not be taking IF as seriously because we did conceive on our own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021872 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:40:16 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2021872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;3 Totally sucks! </p> <p>Even though I was fortunate enough to be able to have a baby, it seeped it's way into my pregnancy making me worried that something was going to go wrong pretty much until he was out. And I'll never be able to have an "oops" pregnancy (if we choose to ride the rollercoaster again), I'll always need to be on meds, and I'll always be worried about what could happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021831 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:08:56 +0000 BSB 2021831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I hate it. During my sister's baby shower I had a cousin tell me to try harder... luckiliy, she didn't say it again when we were leaving. </p> <p>Then I had a friend mention how some of her colleagues (teachers) should plan their pregnancies better so they take advantage of their time off in the summer. I didn't say anything but I should have. I'm really kicking myself now, I should have. She is the wife of DH's best friend and they have been really supportive and knows about our IVF journey but I don't think she realized how insensitive it is to say that. I told DH about the comment and how it bothered me. He said that she is not someone who needs to be told because she's on our side. But I'm thinking that as a dear friend that it might be helpful for her realize how a comment like that could come across. </p> <p>Yeah, IF sucks. I've spent so much money. I'm grateful that I have the money but wished I didn't have pay for it. Then there's the jealousy. It seems like if you are human, I'll be jealous of you for one reason or another. Sucks. Then there are people who just don't understand IF... </p> <p>Some days I don't understand how I'm still sane after going through all this waiting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021539 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 08:20:52 +0000 ineebee 2021539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: :heart: :heart: </p> <p>AGREED. IT IS THE WORST! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021382 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 02:03:19 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2021382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry.. it is the worst. It drains you emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. Feel so blessed to be pregnant now but infertility really leaves a mark that doesn't just go away after getting pregnant or having kids. But everyone has some kind of trial in life, this just happens to be ours. Hold onto that light at the end of the tunnel. So hopeful for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021348 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 00:06:41 +0000 LovelyPlum 2021348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021134 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:04:55 +0000 mrswin 2021134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: I'm so sorry :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021131 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:04:37 +0000 mrswin 2021131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate how much it costs, the strain it puts on even the best marriages and the fact that people always want to give you "advice". </p> <p>Oh and also how "ugly" of a person the jealousy makes me...</p> <p>Even though I am expecting now I have struggled to move past a lot of the pain of our IF. It haunts me and it has bled into my pregnancy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021017 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:45:00 +0000 babycanuck 2021017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: It's okay. I know this will just take time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2021003 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:32:16 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2021003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: That is the hardest... Just when you start to feel good, IF rises up and kicks you in the teeth. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020998 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:29:10 +0000 travellingbee 2020998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: I'm sorry... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020976 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:56:47 +0000 babycanuck 2020976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>so depressed about IF these days. even with all of my attempts to stay busy it's just not helping. I allowed myself to get too excited too quickly when I got my bfp and bought a bunch of stuff, which was delivered right after my loss. I've learned I'll never let that happen again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020955 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:41:03 +0000 winter_wonder 2020955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh... I hate how no one gets it in real life. </p> <p>I hate when the emotions creep up when you least expect it. :bummed: </p> <p>I skyped with a friend a couple days ago who is stacking up all her pto to plan for baby 3. She was so quick to conceive both babies...I'm sure baby 3 will be right around the corner. Soooooooooo jealous. </p> <p>Hugs to everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020854 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 17:20:16 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2020854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020794 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:31:56 +0000 travellingbee 2020794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't even started treatment yet and it's cost a ton in tests-hsg, hysteroscopy, ultrasounds, office visits, tons of labs, a million OPKs and hpts...sigh. I need a break... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020769 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:10:27 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2020769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shutterbug: It is an absolute slog...and I know that what I've been through is a fraction compared to some... :heart: to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020761 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:08:47 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2020761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kimberlybee: Those are the worst! *grimaces* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020749 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:04:43 +0000 Kimberlybee 2020749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so hard to be around super fertile family and friends who say all the wrong things. Some I have heard over the years: </p> <p>"Sorry, I am stealing your thunder by getting pregnant so easily." </p> <p>" I wish I could sprinkle my magic baby dust on you." </p> <p>Ok really?!?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020747 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:04:11 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2020747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: you're right about that!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020746 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:03:49 +0000 Shutterbug 2020746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It totally sucks, and I don't even have too much of the financial stress part of it (yet, thank you insurance). But just the constant limbo and rinse and repeat of IF treatments is enough to drive a person crazy. I'm not totally done yet, I don't think, but I've taken a 10 month (so far) break from treatments because it's just TOO MUCH! Even though I'm still in limbo, just having a long break from the constant disappointment is such a relief. Hang in there ladies, and thanks for getting me through the almost three year journey so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020740 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:00:35 +0000 MaryM 2020740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: "It's depressing, makes it hard to be around children and pregnant women, and it is so hard to plan"</p> <p>Agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020737 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:59:16 +0000 FaithFertility 2020737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It takes all the MAJOR things in a marriage and rolls them into one to fight about...<br /> Money, kids, sex..........etc</p> <p>I am sorry! Praying for you!!!!! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020711 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:43:27 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 2020711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it totally sucks. It's depressing, makes it hard to be around children and pregnant women, and it is so hard to plan. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020700 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:38:58 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2020700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah... :bummed: And it can be really expensive. And monotonous. And degrading. Blah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020694 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:34:45 +0000 meganmp 2020694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:</p> <p>It's the worst. I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It tests your self, your marriage, everything. I'm so sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-if-thread#post-2020692 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:33:20 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2020692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes you have to feel positive and productive and future-oriented. </p> <p>And sometimes you just have to let it out and rant for a while about how stinking unfair and senseless life can be at times.</p> <p>Anyone want to join me?</p> <p>BTW: I have a light at the end of the tunnel...I think...but I just shake my head at how much IF SUCKS. :sad: </p>