https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 12:18:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant/page/2#post-2701314 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 18:21:30 +0000 MamaChin 2701314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh but she is still afraid of the kids getting kidnapped. We closed off one side of a restaurant for thanksgiving and while my 2.5 year old daughter walked from one side of the table to the other she looked at me and mouthed "Watch her!!" Sigh. I just nod and smile while internally screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701311 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 18:02:40 +0000 MamaChin 2701311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow this post was 3 years ago! I'm happy to report that things are much better. A lot of it is me just letting shit go because guess what, while she's playing with them, I can leave the room and rest or dick around on the internet. I had my daughter shortly after this post and yes, she stayed for a month after the birth. When my in laws visit they cook and entertain the kids so I get a break; being a SAHM for kids 16 months apart can be relentless so the extra hands are welcome. My kids are also older now, and she'll do things with them that I don't have the patience to do. Like draw them 18 variations of smiley faces. These long visits are about to end though because they just bought a house 5 mins from us. Don't know if that's better or worse!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701253 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 15:20:05 +0000 daniellemybelle 2701253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, yikes! I would not be able to handle that. We have had to work on family members booking trips without asking us if it is a good time or how long they can stay. The time I put my foot down was 11 days when I was having morning sickness - I cannot imagine a month! </p> <p>What would happen if your husband told her, "Mom, you can't stay for a month; we'd love to have you for a week"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701234 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:47:52 +0000 anothermom 2701234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lilmrsm: it sounds like you do speak up, so I hope you get out some frustration that way. I find that not holding it all in is helpful for my inner rage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701179 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 13:24:50 +0000 Lilmrsm 2701179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anothermom: I need try to speak up more then I guess. I can see her seething when I tell her to put my daughter down; she's always picking her up when my daughter doesn't want or need to be. I corrected my MIL last week on how my daughter called her Grammy and she thought I had attitude. She got up and walked away at first then later said we need to talk about my attitude and the way I talked to her. Told her there was nothing wrong with what I said or how I said it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701147 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:28:05 +0000 anothermom 2701147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lilmrsm: I guess it's better more for my sanity and how I perceive the relationship haha. For all I know, my mil might be unhappy with how opinionated I've gotten. I can't say her behavior is any different, but I'm less frustrated if I can express my displeasure. The inward seething was awful. And if I voice that I don't like something but she continues to do it, then I can remove myself/my child without worrying about appearing rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701144 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:19:37 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2701144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: My MIL doesn't follow the words of books either!! She kind of just summarizes the pictures. I actually started watching her with other things to see if maybe she had trouble reading or something- Dyslexia? Needs a better glasses prescription? It is SO weird! It makes me feel a little better to hear someone else does this too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701141 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:17:34 +0000 pachamama 2701141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: visiting for a MONTH? oh dear god. I am sorry. This sounds so rough. She sounds SO annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701137 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:02:18 +0000 Lilmrsm 2701137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anothermom: How does it go when you express your opinions? My mother in law is a narcissist; she'll say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I don't understand". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701108 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:48:24 +0000 anothermom 2701108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow a month is a long time!<br /> For the minor things, I have found over the years that my relationship with my mil has gotten better and easier because I started to express my opinions to her instead of keeping it to myself, which would lead to a lot of being annoyed and seething.<br /> For things like deciding to stay with you whenever she wants, I think it's important for your husband to learn how to play bad cop. Plans that your mil makes will go through him first and he has to be able to say that doesn't work for your family, that he'll discuss it with you and get back to them about what is better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2701100 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:29:56 +0000 Lilmrsm 2701100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: I could never have my MIL here for a month but then again we just went from ten minutes away to about an hour thankfully but think this is why they linger when they come over lately. She is also pushy with playing AND affections. Please stop chasing my child for a hug or kiss, and I'm not talking in a playful way. My daughter tried to push her away when she is kissing her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2509516 Tue, 29 Mar 2016 12:28:04 +0000 MrsSRS 2509516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You just described my MIL. Blech. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-2509464 Tue, 29 Mar 2016 11:58:35 +0000 Astro Bee 2509464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1289223 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 13:11:56 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1289223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, you're a saint! I hope time flies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1289219 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 13:07:50 +0000 kodybear 1289219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't know how you do it. i can barely do 1x a week for an hour! mil sings songs along with LO's toys. and its just so high pitched and off key it makes me cringe every time. and she doesn't know the words so shes just making sounds. ack, i try to let them be but omg i know how you feel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1289180 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 12:53:32 +0000 MamaChin 1289180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I read something in an article a while back that really stuck with me - Remember that the more people a child has who truly loves him or her, the happier that child will be. So I work hard to maintain and expand their circles of love - so I step back when they play. I always thank her for watching him and for any work she does around the house. If her advice differs from my opinion on a subject that isn't a big deal, I'll go with her idea. She got a nice thank you gift for staying with us for 6 weeks when N was born. But sometimes it just gets to be too much you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1289061 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 12:07:45 +0000 jedeve 1289061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hahahaha I had to laugh at the "what if someone attacks me and kidnaps him?" comment.</p> <p>Hey, maybe you should do that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288999 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 11:52:18 +0000 Modern Daisy 1288999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You definitely need to get some space and separation from your MIL. That is really tough, I only had my MIL stay with us for a week when DS was born and I really like her a lot and by the end I was getting all itchy. </p> <p>Also, keep reminding yourself that a relationship with MIL is very important for your LO to have, even if she isn't perfect. Without her LO wouldn't be here and it could be worse - you could be estranged from her or she could just not care enough to come visit. If I were you, every time I feel irked by something she does, I would find away to verbally thank her for it. Like when she holds LO back from playing with other kids say to her "You are so kind to be protective of my precious baby". I find that when I do that, the offender usually backs off a little since it isn't such a battle anymore of who is in charge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288949 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 11:40:50 +0000 edelweiss 1288949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'll start up the getaway car and pick you and N up in a few minutes. i'm so sorry, that would really test my patience and probably drive me over the edge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288933 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 11:35:35 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1288933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: Oh you are a saint... even if you didn't have a choice in the matter. My MIL sounds very similar to yours, and there's no way in hell I could have her at my house for more than a couple of hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288889 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 11:28:17 +0000 Foodnerd81 1288889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think there is a single person I could handle staying in my home for a month. I agree with everyone who said go out to run looooong errands as much as you can. And maybe have your Dh talk about being gentler with the baby and losing the annoying voice. </p> <p>I also feel like he needs to put his foot down about the visits. Yes they helped you refi, they didn't take partial stake in the house. They should check w you before booking tickets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288774 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:53:21 +0000 Alivoo01 1288774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man! This would drive me batty as well!! Hope the month goes by quickly for you!!! *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288765 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:49:27 +0000 cascademom 1288765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: Wow, that sounds way too close to how my MIL acted when she visited, post yelling match on my maternity leave. My MIL hid in LO's nursery for most of the day when she was here or when she said that she was going to be doing laundry, etc. Yeah, I would limit her visit time in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288742 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:43:09 +0000 MamaChin 1288742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thankfully she's not in my face all day long. She only comes downstairs when N is awake and only gets alone time with him when I have to do stuff like the laundry or sit in my room and scream into a pillow. Like right now N is napping so she went upstairs. Haha she doesn't want to spend alone time with me either! She goes back to Fl on Jan 7 but will be back when I give birth in March, but I'll actually need the help then. Gotta take the good with the bad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288714 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:34:09 +0000 lilyann 1288714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: I would be leaving the house with my LO several times a day to "run errands" aka spend hours at Target just to get away! I don't know how you do it but you deserve a BREAK and a cupcake. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288707 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:31:52 +0000 cascademom 1288707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa, a month. I can barely stand a week with mine especially a week alone with MIL. My MIL baby talks LO as well. He's 16 months old. We didn't baby talk him when he was a newborn either. My MIL's going to be in for a big surprise when she sees him on Friday because he's big and has great language skills. He's also not going to want to sit in a wagon in the yard. He's going to play and play hard. </p> <p>My parents gave us a small loan to buy our condo. They don't have expectations of long visits as a result. It sounds like bad manners coupled with using your feelings about the loan against you and your DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288706 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:31:14 +0000 Reese 1288706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You deserve a purple heart. I would be annoyed at all of those things too. I think you have already tried to gently direct her - I don't think it is worth getting in a confrontation over.. I can see it really hurt her feelings. After this stay I would limit the time she can visit- loan or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288682 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:22:34 +0000 MamaChin 1288682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha you guys talk as if I had a CHOICE. This is how it goes - DH: my parents booked tickets, Pa is staying for a week then go back to work and Ma will stay until the end of the month. Me: Er, ok I guess. DH: at least she'll do the cooking?</p> <p>They helped us with a small loan so we can re-fi last year, which we are paying back with interest, but I guess now they think they can just come to The Chin Resort whenever. And then she invites her daughter to come sleep over with her two kids and presents it as such: SIL and her kids are sleeping over on this day, they already packed and are excited to play with the dog, is that ok? </p> <p>I have made gentle suggestions to how maybe N would like it better if you did it this way or that way but she "forgets". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288677 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:20:14 +0000 lawbee11 1288677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Holy crap! I wouldn't want my best friend staying with us for a month, let alone my MIL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-hate-the-way-mil-plays-with-lo-long-rant#post-1288674 Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:19:10 +0000 Smurfette 1288674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>a month? I can't even imagine. you get a million gold stars for that. </p>