https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 21:56:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293502 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 08:40:44 +0000 Anagram 1293502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: amen to that. I actually have a pretty easy going baby as far as crying, so for the first 3.5 months of her life I was out of the house every single day shopping, running errands, going to BF support groups, new mom groups, play dates, lunch dates. She was fine.</p> <p>And then she started this horrible "no naps" stage, which is not healthy at all for a 3-4 month old. She started waking up 6-8 times a night and sometimes more. I read a lot about brain development and sleep that really knocked some sense into me.</p> <p>That's when I buckled down and got her on a nap schedule, and I stopped jacking around with her sleep. Miraculously (or rather, not a miracle at all but common sense), she started being a rock star napper and her night time wakeups reduced back to 2-3.</p> <p>So I agree, every baby is different. My baby needs a good routine to sleep and I've figured that out now and am not willing to mess it up very often. I have friends that fall into 3 camps basically: the ones with an easy going baby they can take anywhere, the ones with a higher needs baby who have figured out a good routine and stick to it, and the ones with a higher needs baby who still take them out and about and have no schedule. The last group seems pretty bewildered as to why their babies are cranky, don't nap, and don't go to sleep easily at night. I just keep my mouth shut but at some point, they will probably figure out that their kids aren't getting restful naps or night time sleep when they have no routine and they'll have to adjust their lives accordingly or deal with a cranky screamy baby.</p> <p>Again, you just have to trust that parents know their kids better than you, a casual observer who sees them occasionally--and they've figured out what works best for them and their kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293478 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 08:29:07 +0000 JoJoGirl 1293478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Word. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293473 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 08:26:51 +0000 looch 1293473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also wanted to add my son woke up very early for about a year, we are talking 5 am. So I had to front load on sleep so I could manage at that hour. When friends and family gave me a hard time about it, I asked them if they would like to come over and handle the wake up and they all said no, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293466 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 08:20:13 +0000 Boheme 1293466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: This.<br /> I have to decline sometimes because everyone would be miserable if I came. I have a textbook Dr Sears high needs/high maintenance baby that turns into a hell raising banshee if he skips a nap or bedtime. No thank you.</p> <p>When our sleep gets better, my social life will too lol! It's just hard right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293454 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 08:10:59 +0000 JoJoGirl 1293454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*sigh* I would give anything for a baby who 'just has to adapt'. Like others have said, folks would rather me not show up to social invites at all if it's a screaming baby as the only option :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293320 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 02:48:23 +0000 luckypenny 1293320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: well, when she was your LOs age I didn't really much because I was so scared to mess with her sleep. Then I started going crazy when she was around 8 months old and I had to get out. It's never bothered her night sleep if she's up past "bedtime". I also only stay an hour or two past. We're not up at midnight or anything :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293314 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 02:42:37 +0000 googly-eyes 1293314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@luckypenny: if you do that what happens? I ask because I planned to do like you, but a lot of times if I deviate from the bedtime schedule (not naps so much but it used to be naps too!) dd would wake up for hours in the motn! Didn't matter how often or how familiar a place... I just wonder if people who say that just stay up all night or what... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293313 Fri, 20 Dec 2013 02:39:06 +0000 googly-eyes 1293313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Idk, 5 months is still little. Dd was JUST coming out of the fussy nb thing at 4 months so we still revolved around her schedule then too, but we would try for car naps or to just stop by when she was up kind of thing... Once she got on one nap we got much more relaxed but I can still relate to that especially if her baby is difficult with naps and/or on the fussier side! I think we forget so quickly once our LOs get to be about a year and lots if things change. I do, however, think she was rude in the way she said it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1293175 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 23:47:11 +0000 daniellemybelle 1293175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to be one of those moms that just takes their LO everywhere, but I have a fussy baby that needs to stay on her routine. If you want a screaming baby &amp; nerve wracked mom, sure I'll come.</p> <p>Thankfully our friends are very understanding when we have to decline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292901 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 22:03:03 +0000 Boogs 1292901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have avoided sporting events, I just don't think LO would be very interested. And since it would be more for us, I'm not sure that we would enjoy ourselves much or get our $ worth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292778 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 21:21:19 +0000 pinkcupcake 1292778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't go anywhere if it's during nap time or close to bedtime. I'm very strict about her sleep - it's j not worth her being miserable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292373 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 18:17:49 +0000 Dandelion 1292373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@luckypenny: You and I have similar thoughts on this. LO to be is going to have to adapt, because he's got a 6 year old brother and I don't like to be tied to the house. DS and I are always out and about, especially in the summer, so we don't plan on changing that...just bringing LO along with us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292368 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 18:14:56 +0000 Dagny 1292368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also think it completely depends on the baby. My LO becomes super fussy if his nap gets pushed to much and he will not nap on the go. We can't transition him from car seat to crib so there is no way we could stay out through bed time. I WISH I could just go do things all the time. I know Some friends of ours are totally thinking hubby and I are just rookies, but if you haven't had a high- need fussy baby, it's hard to understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292323 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 17:42:07 +0000 jetsa 1292323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LazyLightning: @Greentea: my son has never in his life been content in a not moving car seat for more than about 20 seconds and he sat through an entire meal out in his carseat on Sunday I was shocked, like who is this child ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292199 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:54:16 +0000 luckypenny 1292199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take DD everywhere and rarely decline invites, unless its nap time because I'm pregnant and need to nap too lol </p> <p>I think its the best thing I've done for myself as a SAHM and I think DD has done well adapting. But, I follow the whole "she is in my life not she runs my life" mentality. We do several things each day that are geared towards her so if I want to meet a friend at the mall or stay out past her bedtime at a friends I do. Luckily, most of my mom friends feel the same so we meet up often and the friends who plan everything around their kids, we never see anymore. </p> <p>To each their own :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292185 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:49:07 +0000 travelgirl1 1292185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like to take A with me whenever I can, and I don't decline purely because of nap time, but I do turn down evening events (unless I can bring her and be home by, say, 9). We don't have family to watch her here, maybe if I lived back in the UK near my family and college buddies I'd feel differently? But since I'm the only one who can put her down I'd probably still turn down evening stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292138 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:32:04 +0000 LazyLightning 1292138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: LOL! I went to Ruby Tuesday with a friend for lunch and there was a baby just sitting, awake, in a car seat while the parents ate. YEAH RIGHT??!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292056 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:06:03 +0000 Smurfette 1292056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as JoJo, R's bedtime is 7 and when she is tired, she lets everyone know it. Not worth trying to keep her up at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292051 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:04:22 +0000 Greentea 1292051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LazyLightning: us too! :) (re: target) I saw a baby sleeping in her carseat at target the other day... that was sooo not my child! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292047 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 16:02:39 +0000 Greentea 1292047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: but for me it is the most challenging thing. It is worth it, but very challenging! It is getting better but the first six months ... the only place I went on schedule were the doctor and a haircut! (6.5 mo....)</p> <p>My friend is getting married several states away and she doesn't have kids (and obv. it is different than attending a party) and I was honest that we couldn't attend (for various reasons) but I remember she was like "why don't you ride in the back of someone's car?" and I'm thinking "whaaaat?"</p> <p>I value keeping lo as happy as possible because that keeps me sane so I work hard to stay ahead of the moment. We have no one to watch her and she needs me to eat... I nannied a chill baby once... just like every pet is different. .. when my pup was little we would hike with another puppy who was so chill and would just stay with us offleash. My pup was chasing deer and elk through the mountains and jumping out windows! Night and day.</p> <p>It kicks my butt to be on time. I was on time for a haircut this week and it took dh and I both and a day of running around the house to get the three of us there and I was so stressed!</p> <p>I value keeping things chill for our own sanity and scheduled events don't fit into that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant/page/2#post-1292022 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:53:42 +0000 LazyLightning 1292022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on the baby. I really couldn't do anything with my child (even go to Target!) until she was over 4 months old. She just cried the whole time. Also sometimes I just don't want to do something, so I use it as an excuse, hah! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291992 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:41:30 +0000 JoJoGirl 1291992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will pretty much do anything during the day, but evening commitments are absolutely out unless we get a sitter. LO turns into a total hellraiser when she's tired and while we can usually get her to nap out and about either in her stroller or carseat, throwing off bedtime is a big fat NO. And she goes to bed at 7pm. So I've been super lame the last 7 months. I am also still totally exhausted from a baby who won't STTN so haven't wanted to be out late regardless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291985 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:37:59 +0000 Modern Daisy 1291985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lawbee11: I had the same thing happen this past Saturday with LO, although we had people over and couldn't just leave. DS never had a good afternoon nap and started to get cranky around 5. My friends had come over at 3 and stayed until after 8! So from 5 to 8 he was crying/fussing and needed to be held the entire time. Wouldn't really eat his bottles and refused to go down in his crib (only time he's ever done that). My friends were really nice about it, but they also don't have kids so they didn't realize that we were kind of desperate for them to leave lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291972 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:34:53 +0000 fancyfunction 1291972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with you. It's important for us to go out as a couple or with friends and if someone's available to watch M, then we're free to do so. I don't use her as an excuse but I also don't bring her to places I know wouldn't be appropriate for her. We need to spend time as a family, as a couple and time with friends. We've joked that we've probably gone out more since having M but we always keep a good balance with all facets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291953 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:22:42 +0000 MrsRcCar 1291953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is pretty go with the flow. We don't decline invites generally. The only way we would, is if he is sick, other wise we are ready to go. My motto is have Baby will travel. We have been like that forever though. I couldn't imagine missing things just because I have an infant now. We don't plan to change our tune when LO #2 arrives in March either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291764 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 14:15:31 +0000 birdofafeather 1291764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if a friend said it like that, i would probably think SHE was ridiculous, but i don't think it's ridiculous to turn down invites because of your kid, or because you just don't want to go! DD is pretty easy going and we've have numerous friends comment that they are impressed that we take her so many places, but honestly, i would go stark raving mad if i was cooped up all the time! i turn down park dates if it's in the middle of her nap time, but we adjust sleep to be able to attend other events as we don't have family in the area and our friends and neighbors are who we rely on to babysit in a pinch. otherwise, she comes with us!</p> <p>i realize not everyone had the same view though, so different strokes for different folks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291389 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 12:35:48 +0000 sunny 1291389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is pretty fussy when it comes to her sleep. She won't nap unless she is in her crib or car seat so it becomes a big problem if we push out her nap or nighttime sleep too much. Just yesterday she made me really regret going to the mall to do Christmas shopping. :crying: </p> <p>We typically have to decline evening plans unless they are early evening. We have also gone solo with one parent going. Still haven't felt comfortable enough to leave LO in the care of a sitter yet and we don't have any family around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291324 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 12:12:16 +0000 deerylou 1291324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like @blackbird: I have a mellow, agreeable baby who enjoys social interaction. Our sleep and feeding schedule is pretty general, and flexible to suit DD. Of course, there are events and activities that don't make sense, logistically, when you throw an infant into the mix. But, for the most part, I accept invites whenever I can.</p> <p>Really, I think it is just dependent on what your baby can handle. Some people enforce more rigid schedules, and deal with fussier personalities, so who am I to judge? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291321 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 12:11:24 +0000 meganmp 1291321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to add... I think that I would be annoyed by a friend saying what your's did because, to me, it seems like her being incredelous that you would even DREAM of inviting her, because babies are the most difficult thing in the world and why would you ever think she would go anywhere? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-babyi-cant#post-1291317 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 12:08:22 +0000 plantains 1291317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go to whatever as long as DD is invited because I don't have family nearby to watch her and I don't want to pay $100 for a sitter more often than I need to. I might on occasion arrive late or leave early to get her a decent nap, but I almost always go to stuff. From day 1, I nursed DD in restaurants all the time under my cover. </p> <p>Now that she is 18 months old, it is much harder but she is usually entertained easily by some peas and a fork:) </p>