https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 21:44:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-157206 Sun, 13 May 2012 16:50:57 +0000 katdevargas 157206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"We talk more about safer topics, like religion and politics." that made me laugh, too.</p> <p>I do talk about these topics, but I've been more conservative about what I say since I"ve joined hellobee &amp; read so many different points of view. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-157129 Sun, 13 May 2012 13:50:58 +0000 lemondrop 157129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Stick with safer topics like politics and religion- ha ha! You crack me up Mr. Bee :)</p> <p>I started an unintentional battle on FB among my husband's family this week- I am very pro gay marriage and posted a little joke about North Carolina's vote to a few of my gay friends this week, my husband's aunt is very against it and posted some ugly things. My FIL backed me up, and there has been a firestorm since. </p> <p>This is the same aunt who posted last year on FB asking why we didn't have kids yet- I would have absolutely murdered her if we hadn't just gotten that BFP after almost a year of trying. Her comment got deleted immediately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-157067 Sun, 13 May 2012 09:47:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 157067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I basically follow a lot of these rules except with close friends. The biggest one is offering my seat to a pregnant lady-- I'm so aware of it and would never want to be comfortably sitting while I pregnant lady is standing near me, but it can be so hard, so I do err on the side of not offering. Or sometimes I just stand up and don't say anything at all. I have seen a very nice young man offer his seat to the young woman standing near him. She declined and said to her friend, "You see? I'm NEVER wearing this sweater again!" The poor guy was mortified, but at least she laughed about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-157003 Sun, 13 May 2012 02:54:27 +0000 looch 157003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find people want to share good news, so they usually tell before I have a chance to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156762 Sat, 12 May 2012 15:17:47 +0000 Red 156762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I may be in the minority but I rarely follow these rules. People are way too sensitive these days and I think I harbor an unconscious disgust of how soft people are today. Don't get me wrong, I don't go out of my way to make people feel bad but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't have to coddle people, especially grown ups. The only thing I do avoid is assuming/asking if someone is pregnant, just in case they aren't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156737 Sat, 12 May 2012 14:15:47 +0000 heffalump 156737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually follow these rules too, but there's an exception to every rule I think. I have a good friend who was married for a while and I knew she wanted a family, but years went by and there was no pregnancy announcement. And I didn't want to say anything because I had a feeling there were infertility issues, so for a very long time I didn't. But finally I did manage to fit it into the conversation, and I'm so glad I did because she had been wanting to say something but didn't know how to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156577 Sat, 12 May 2012 09:49:36 +0000 Shimmer 156577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never say ANYTHING, even if the woman is obviously pregnant. I wait for her to say something. Many strangers have commented on my pregnancy, though, so I guess a lot of people don't follow those rules!</p> <p>My mother has no tact when it comes to asking people if they're pregnant. She'll ask ladies that don't even look like they are! I'm mortified when she does it and try to explain to her how bad it feels for someone to say that when you're not. I have no idea what's going through her head when she does it! :S </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156553 Sat, 12 May 2012 09:12:22 +0000 Rubies 156553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: @mrbee: Okay, this story is half sad and half funny but here it is: At the school I teach at, we once had a student whose mother had been affected by radiation from the Chernobyl disaster so when this student was born, he was born with some physical abnormalities, especially in his face. During a parent/teacher night, one of the teachers met with the mom and exclaimed meaning to be polite or make conversation, "Your son! He looks just like you!" And the mother, right then and there, began sobbing. :S </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156547 Sat, 12 May 2012 09:07:14 +0000 mrbee 156547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I have seen some very sad faces when I (or someone else) made those comments previously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156495 Sat, 12 May 2012 07:57:04 +0000 winniebee 156495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha these are some very good rules! I never knew it could be offensive to say "oh my gosh she looks so much like her dad!". Then mom feels bad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156486 Sat, 12 May 2012 07:18:17 +0000 chopsuey 156486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: HAHA &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156472 Sat, 12 May 2012 07:00:30 +0000 Rubies 156472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: HAHA, I hope I fall in that category with your "make a baby!" comment! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156471 Sat, 12 May 2012 06:59:46 +0000 chopsuey 156471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha. I try not to talk about these things too. Except on HB with girls I feel comfortable with ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156468 Sat, 12 May 2012 06:57:40 +0000 Rubies 156468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never ask a woman when they plan on having kids. And if I know someone is TTC, I NEVER ask how things are going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156445 Sat, 12 May 2012 05:36:57 +0000 mediagirl 156445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: don't forget to talk about breastfeeding and attachment parenting. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156428 Sat, 12 May 2012 05:08:09 +0000 Andrea 156428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have always felt the same, even before HB. People are too sensitive. Yes, better to discuss gay marriage or abortions. Hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156418 Sat, 12 May 2012 03:45:23 +0000 mediagirl 156418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hahaha religion or politics. :-) </p> <p>You know, after reading stuff on Hellobee, I feel the same way!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156410 Sat, 12 May 2012 03:04:45 +0000 pastemoo 156410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOL safer topics like politics or religion? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156406 Sat, 12 May 2012 01:00:38 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 156406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha. I think more people should follow this list. Some are so clumsy and don't realize they can potentially offend someone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-a-confession-i-basically-never-say-anything-ever-to-parents-or-pregnant-people-ever#post-156405 Sat, 12 May 2012 00:58:11 +0000 mrbee 156405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The one thing I've learned from the Internet is that everyone is annoyed or offended by just about everything. </p> <p>Here's a partial list of people that I go out of my way to congratulate or say anything potentially upsetting to:</p> <p>* Women who might be pregnant - What if they're not?<br /> * Women who I know had a baby but the baby isn't within my line of sight - What if something happened to the baby? A woman I know lost her baby at 5 months (I didn't find out until later), and the only thing that saved me from bringing it up when I saw her was this paranoid rule of mine.</p> <p>I also avoid the following topics:</p> <p>* Family plans - I never ask if someone is planning to have their first kid, or if they're planning to have another kid. What if they are having problems TTC?<br /> * Who the baby looks like - My stock answer is: s/he looks so much like both of you! It's amazing!<br /> * Milestones - I don't talk about our kid's milestones, or the funny things our kids say. I learned the hard way that this can make some other parents sad if their kid is lagging and/or not talking.</p> <p>The short version: I basically never say anything to parents or pregnant women, ever. Well I do say things of course, but they rarely if ever have anything to do with parenting. We talk more about safer topics, like religion and politics.</p> <p>Do you ever find yourself inhibited in what you can say when talking to parents and/or potentially pregnant people? </p>