https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 07:13:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791752 Thu, 14 Dec 2017 01:26:29 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2791752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So anecdotally the moms I see with a lot of friends either (and usually both!):<br /> a) join mom groups and/or have mom friends with kids of similar ages and they do stuff with their kids mostly<br /> b) have a lot of help with their kids...their kids' aunts/uncles, grandparent/s, etc. are involved and babysit for them, for free. I don't know too many people who hire help to get out with friends often. Dads watch the kids for mom to go out. </p> <p>I'd say dh and I have been making a lot of acquaintances in our new area, but I would definitely not say they are close friends. And frankly I had way more time to socialize when I worked ft!! I made work friends too then. But most of them were single and without work and being an hour or so away I haven't much kept in touch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791699 Wed, 13 Dec 2017 16:05:32 +0000 Mamatimes3 2791699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: @Canoli: I’m glad I’m not alone! I see other moms with friends and wonder what am I doing wrong. Weekday lunches are really the only times I get to connect with Old Work friends. My oldest has started school so I’m hoping maybe I’ll make more mom type friends. It’s so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791688 Wed, 13 Dec 2017 14:58:22 +0000 JLC53 2791688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow - thanks everyone for your response. </p> <p>I really do miss having friends, I really thought I was just the bad friend that disappeared after having a baby, but it sounds like the norm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791664 Wed, 13 Dec 2017 13:06:39 +0000 MrsADS 2791664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamatimes3 I feel the same way basically. I do have a few long-time friends that I keep in touch with (like a text or a call every few months, *maybe*) but in this season of life it is basically impossible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791659 Wed, 13 Dec 2017 12:40:06 +0000 codeitall 2791659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it bad that sometimes I think my only friends are family? All my other friends have kids that are different ages, or don't have kids. My best friend has kids about the same ages, but her son is a huge chatterbox while mine is in speech therapy, so I don't enjoy getting together as much.</p> <p>Until my kids are in school, I honestly won't worry about friends beyond family. It is too hard with both parents WOH and having two kids so young. I just work on maintaining the relationships I have to (family) until I have time to spare outside of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791606 Wed, 13 Dec 2017 08:40:32 +0000 Ajsmommy 2791606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, this happens. Two of my closest friends do not have kids, one has kids that are grown so it's hard for me to get to see them. I feel terrible about it but it is what it is for now. Hopefully in a few years I can have some more freedom and we can manage to reconnect. I just don't have the time right now. I work full time outside the home, I commute, have 2 lo's and DH works some weekends and most nights until 6-7. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791584 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 21:05:29 +0000 Canoli 2791584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamatimes3: yes, I could have said this all exactly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791582 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 20:54:23 +0000 Ina85 2791582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you, I've lost touch with all my close friends except my one girlfriend. I hung out with her last night and I told her how she's my only friend which she knows, we've talked about it in the past. I was thinking of all the fun I used to have with my friends but almost none of them have kids and they all go out drinking all the time and smoke a lot. We're just at really different points in our lives and sometimes I feel weird about it (not sad, just that feeling that something's amiss...my friends) but I've accepted it's just how it is. In my situation, I'm the one that ended things- I just texted less frequently back to friends and then stopped texting. First I told my friends I didn't want to be around any smoke because of my baby and so there's no point in meeting any of them for drinks since they all smoke so much when they drink and I could only have one or two drinks because I breastfeed so there's really no point in meeting them out. My one girlfriend doesn't smoke and lives like 5 minutes away from me so it's been easy to maintain our friendship and stay close. She doesn't have any kids but she loves kids so she adores my daughter which makes me happy.<br /> Hopefully you will form close friendships with your new mommy friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791551 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 17:44:12 +0000 Modern Daisy 2791551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister just had her first baby and I warned her about this. It's not that you don't love your pre-baby friends, it just becomes a huge sacrifice to keep a relationship going. It's way easier to hang out with mom friends and other families who are in the same place and interested in the same things. I also physically moved after having my first so my transition really involved starting from scratch in the friend department! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791548 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 17:40:07 +0000 Mama Bird 2791548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah me too. I mean... there are people in my life that I'd love to see often, and we try to keep in touch, but it's just rotten luck that they all live in other states and other countries. Those of them that have kids, I haven't even met their LOs and they haven't met mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791530 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 17:09:27 +0000 Mamatimes3 2791530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sadly, it happens. I’m nearing 40, work full time, and have 3 kids 5 and under. I’ve realized I don’t really have any friends anymore! Sure, I have coworker friends and some mommy friends and still keep in touch with my long-time best friend every so often. But I don’t have that constant friendship that I did when I was younger. There is no more going out like before. My time is spent differently. And honestly I see other moms my age who have a social network of friends. I just don’t know how they’ve accomplished that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791523 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 16:36:33 +0000 snowjewelz 2791523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it's slowly happening to me and one of my closest friends. She is older than me and still single. She had moved into the city, and whereas I now have 2 LOs aka almost impossible to go out alone into the city and it's hard for her to even meet me half way b/c she already commutes a ton for work. I think our bond is pretty strong so we're still close, but definitely not as close as before and it's sad :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791520 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 16:25:27 +0000 JLC53 2791520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Some are friends from my childhood and early 20s, thoughs are actually the ones I hear from the most. Most of the ones I am referring to though are friends that I was close to with my husband. Many are married or dating my husband's friends. We were a big happy group of friends for many years. Vacation together, events every weekend. Things are just different now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791519 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 16:22:49 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2791519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JLC53: yep! I have started to realize that I won't have a baby shower with this second baby because I don't have any friends! Seriously. Out of my 5 closest friends, only 2 of them have even MET my almost 3-yr-old daughter. Sad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791517 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 16:09:04 +0000 agold 2791517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JLC53: I'm so sorry you are going through that! Are they friends from high school or college that you are missing? I feel like as we get older, our lives shift in ways that maybe don't match up with the lives of our friends from childhood. Its hard to lose them, but things just change. Sometimes you end up with a few friends that each serve their own purpose in your life. So old friends who don't have kids are good for nostalgic talks. And new mommy friends can be good for chats about current daily life. I think if you end up with one friend from childhood that carries over into your adult life, then you are lucky! Its rare to find someone who has a big group of high school friends. I know a girl who does and I'm totally jealous. But I'm so happy with my one childhood friend even if our lives were so different for so long. I say continue to reach out to the few girls who you receive invites from. You still do "fit" because you are long time friends! Your friends will catch up in family life sometime. And then just try to get new friendships with the moms you meet through your kids. Or maybe some of your husband's friends' wives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791513 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 15:36:56 +0000 JLC53 2791513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: with some I have sent the occasional text and have received the occasional event invite and I have attended, but it was like I don't fit in anymore. The majority have been dead silence though. I defiantly can be better at reaching out but I honestly don't have the time. It is not that I don't want to, but I work out of the home 40+ hours a week, the little time I do have I want to spend as a family... I am sad about it, but not guilty for putting my family first... It is a hard to explain how I am feeling...</p> <p>@catgirl: that is what I mean about the new mom friends. I occasionally see them, but would never consider them close friends.. It is kind of lonely... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791511 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 15:17:24 +0000 catgirl 2791511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been hard. None of my closest friends have kids and I live 2.5 hours from them. We have definitely drifted but we all still try. I aim to at minimum text or email with them a few times a week and a longer phone call or video call at least once a month. </p> <p>I have met a lot of moms since DD was born and while I occasionally hang out with them, I don't consider any of them good friends. Though they still serve such an important part in my life in their own ways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791505 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 15:08:02 +0000 catlady 2791505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, have you tried re-connecting with them? (If you want to) The people I consider my closest friends are all child-less, so we don't hang out often at all, but I always feel like we pick up where we left off when we get together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791502 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 14:52:21 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2791502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally very normal. But I think back to some of those acquaintances that I had at my sons first birthday and they are some of our very closest and dearest friends now two years later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791495 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 14:41:04 +0000 Adira 2791495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my very best friends and I basically had a falling out when I got pregnant with my first. It wasn't anything either one of us really did, but we were just in different places in our lives and it felt harder to connect. BUT I'm happy to say once she got pregnant with her first, I took that as an opportunity to reach back out to her and get back in touch! We're not as close as we once were, but now we're taking our kids to amusement parks together and hanging out more, which is awesome!</p> <p>So... all that to say, I totally understand how you feel and YES, this happened to me. And if any of your friends get pregnant, that would be a perfect time to reach back out and try to rekindle the friendship. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-lost-my-friends#post-2791494 Tue, 12 Dec 2017 14:34:16 +0000 JLC53 2791494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sitting here making a list of invites to my son's 2nd birthday and I have realized many of my "close" friends on this list I have lost touch with over the last 2 years. Many of them I have not spoken with or seen since my son's 1st birthday party. Many of them are not parents yet themselves. Many of them I have crossed off the invite list</p> <p>Of course I have made many new mommy friends over the last 2 years, but these people I can't say are close friends. We have had the occasional play date or even a few kid-less mommy meet ups, but in general I wouldn't say they are close friends. Maybe they will become, who knows. </p> <p>It makes me sad to think how I do not connect anymore to the friends that I spent a great deal of time with before my son was born. </p> <p>Has this happened to anyone else? I know the phone works both ways, and I am not blaming any of these friends. We are just at different places in life right now and that is okay! </p>