https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 03:35:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1065049 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 13:29:14 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1065049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to say what @momof1: said. At 15 months, she really is just trying to test out some boundaries which seems defiant, but is really just curiosity. It's "fun" to see the reaction adults have! And to see if that reaction keeps happening.<br /> I think a lot explicit talking and redirection (like "I won't let you hit. If you want to hit, you can hit a pillow - or we can play something else.") helps. Big reactions can make kids repeat the behavior.</p> <p>ETA: I would have a different response if it seemed like she was hitting because she was *angry* or trying to be hurtful, but your description makes her sound more mischievous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064815 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 12:19:13 +0000 Lozza 1064815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I'd say that in general, if DH or I give LO a very specific non-negotiable instruction, we make sure there are repercussions if he ignores it. We don't want him to learn that if he doesn't do something within a reasonable time frame, we'll just keep repeating ourselves without any other consequences. And we don't always jump to time out, but we make sure that SOMETHING happens to interrupt what he is doing and some kind of consequence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064801 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 12:15:05 +0000 Lozza 1064801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hitting the dog has always been an automatic time out in our house.<br /> If LO is being generally fussy or just doing something I'd rather he not do (as opposed to breaking a hard and fast rule like "no hitting"), I'll redirect.<br /> Counting to 3 (with a consequence like time out or revocation of a privilege or something- and we do actually follow through on this) works well if I need/want LO to stop doing something that isn't a serious infraction or isn't a discrete event (so, this might be playing with his food at the table and deliberately making a mess).<br /> But for things like hitting, kicking, biting, etc. we immediately pick him up, tell him "We do NOT hit the dog" (we don't yell, but it's definitely in a no-nonsense strong voice) and put him in timeout. He sits in timeout by himself for a minute or two (he's currently two and a half years old) and then if he has calmed down we'll go over and talk about why he is in timeout. If he's able to articulate back to us why he's in time out and/or re-state the rule, and is ready to apologize, he leaves time out. If he gets all defiant, he stays in time out till he calms down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064694 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 11:48:04 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1064694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What works for DD when she's completely riled up and think it's a game is if I leave. I'll quietly walk away and do something else without looking at her (I sneak some glances to make sure she's not killing herself, but she doesn't see me looking). When she's calmed her butt down, I tell her "gentle". </p> <p>I've also tried putting her in the corner for a minute when she's gotten really out of hand, but she's usually not so bad so I haven't done it enough times to know if it helps. </p> <p>When she falls down and tantrums, I ignore her and walk away. It usually only lasts a minute because she knows she's not getting anything from me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064594 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 11:20:14 +0000 heffalump 1064594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tried time outs for hitting the dog but lo didn't understand them. What ended up working with her was me getting really upset and crying about it (thank you pregnancy hormones). She is always asking if people are ok, so she saw me crying and asked if mommy was ok. I said no, mommy is not ok, I'm sad because she hit lizzie and it hurts her when she does that. Since then she rarely hits and if she does I say, lizzie is not ok because you hit her, please say you are sorry, she apologizes and stops. I think different things work for different kids, you just have to try and see what works for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064582 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 11:17:25 +0000 momof1 1064582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thing that worked for my LO was to grab his hand (or wrist if he was holding something) and say "I will not let you hit." At which point he would usually try to hit me. "I will not let you hit me." And I would hold his hand until he calmed down. I tell him that I understand he's angry and give him options to release his anger. (Hit a pillow, drum on something, jump or wiggle.)<br /> Using positives (Kitty loves when you are gentle) vs negative "We don't hit." is more likely to get a cooperative response. A child shouldn't obey just because "I say." They want to understand the reason behind the rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064567 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 11:14:26 +0000 Adira 1064567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My BFF started implementing time-outs at this age. Though they were simple versions of time-outs - she'd sit with and hold her daughter for a minute (1 minute for each year old they are). Her daughter would cry the whole time during the time-out, but then they would hug and kiss and it would be over. I'm not entirely sure whether she would really learn from it or not, but now at 4 years old, she's a very polite and well behaved little girl! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064526 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:57:34 +0000 looch 1064526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: have you tried letting her take the lead in what she wants to do, like taking her by the hand, walking to a play area and asking what she wants to do, or letting her select from two things?</p> <p>That's how I figured out that my son wanted to do puzzles, but what frustrated about not being able to get the pieces in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064521 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:55:57 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1064521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: trying to place her in a different situation and keep her occupied there (not just plopping her down and walking away). Like reading a book, going outside.</p> <p>But she just runs back to whatever she was doing, or screams like a banshee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064515 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:54:35 +0000 looch 1064515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: what are you doing for redirection? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064513 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:53:56 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1064513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember when my sister was little, you just had to look at her cross eyed and she would stop whatever she was doing and run to you for a hug. She didnt even need to be disciplined because she had such a desire to please.</p> <p>My LO seems to LIKE disobeying me. Whether it is drinking her bath water or hitting or biting or running away.....I have no idea how to handle it. All forms of discipline seem funny to her!!</p> <p>And am I the only one who doesn't think redirection works? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064495 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:48:42 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1064495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: I'm sorry - I have no advice. I was going to write the same thread today. My W does the same thing. This weekend, she started kicking me. I walked away to see if that would discourage it, but she ran after me and then hit me, said "no no!", and then ran away laughing. </p> <p>I don't like this age.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064481 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:44:43 +0000 looch 1064481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son went through the hitting phase, but he was hitting ME. Consistency was key, but instead of saying No, we don't hit, I used language like "we keep our hands to ourselves" or "gentle touches" and then I would show him what was appropriate.</p> <p>Also, redirection, because usually it was an attempt for attention and to engage me, so we'd go do a puzzle or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064461 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:37:54 +0000 kiddosc 1064461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E is definitely at this stage too. I will usually pick him up and sit him down somewhere away from whatever he was getting into, which generally sparks a tantrum. When he's done screaming, we hug it out, and "talk" about it. I don't make him stay sitting, since he doesn't really get timeouts yet, and if he gets up to come to me, I will comfort him. If he gets up to continue misbehaving, then I have taken him and set him in his crib for a minute or two. I sit in the glider in his room and flip through a book, then pick him up when he settles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-have-no-idea-how-to-discipline-my-toddler#post-1064426 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 10:30:57 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1064426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 15-month old is constantly doing the opposite of what I say, on purpose. Maybe it is just the age, but she seems to have a defiant streak. </p> <p>One example of her behavior: She has become a hitter. She will go up to our dog and smack him HARD! She will hit him with toys, her sippy cup....whatever is in her hand. She knows what I mean when I say "pet him nice," but no matter how often I say "Don't hit! Pet him nice!" she just keeps doing it. I will say "no, we don't hit," and then she will look at me with a mischievous grin, smack the dog, and then run away laughing. She has absolutely no interest in obeying me.</p> <p>How do I correct this? I have no idea how to discipline at this age.</p> <p>ETA: this is just one example of her behavior lately. </p>