https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 18:29:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282439 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 06:09:21 +0000 looch 282439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mean to offend, so please don't read this that way, but there's no reason to hide that you had to use CIO with your son. Yes, you made a mistake that you said you'd never do XYZ and you had to resort to it, but you know, you're going to make many more mistakes in your parenting career and other parents would benefit from your learning experiences. There's enough stigma around many other parenting decisions that we don't need to aggravate ones with respect to sleeping.</p> <p>I hope you can come to a decision that benefits everyone, most of all your son. I mean this all in a positive light, there's no reason to hide your decision to use CIO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282265 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:40:28 +0000 mrsjyw 282265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult position! I would def lean towards leaving the job. As PPs have posted, I think the ages of the children involved including C is critical right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282213 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:04:25 +0000 maybebaby 282213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are lots of computer based positions--if you have a laptop and are willing to spend time testing out sites or doing shopper research--that sort of thing. This might have some possible listings: <a href="http://www.wahm.com/jobs.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.wahm.com/jobs.html</a></p> <p>Or, if you are into crafting you could set up an etsy shop! It would take some time to get off the ground, but that would be creative and flexible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282200 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:53:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 282200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@maybebaby: there is like nothing I can do. It sounds great and fun to work from home, but what kind of job am I supposed to get?<br /> My nanny mom works from home, but she has been with the company 11+ years, and was with them 7 years before transferring to WAHM. </p> <p>I only have a 2-year college degree. If getting a job outside the home was an option, I would have done it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282190 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:38:02 +0000 maybebaby 282190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you are such a wonderful help to the mom and that you have developed wonderful relationships with the children and the mother as well. So I understand your reluctance to leave the position--not just financially, emotionally. At the same time, this is such a special time with you LO and it is only 8.5 hours a day. Would you consider working at home 8.5 or so hours a week--I know it might be difficult to find something comparable, but it sounds like you are very anxious about the set up. Perhaps a compromise would be to find some other work from home option and then do once a week play dates with the mom and her two kids to keep that relationship? GL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282181 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:28:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 282181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: lol I know you and know that you are a not a mean person... so I totally don't think you're too harsh.</p> <p>That's so true, CIO is not one size fits all. And maybe I just need to suck it up and grow a backbone. I want to say she wouldn't judge me, but I have no idea because here she is nursing her 18 mos old to sleep. And kudos to her for having the patience for that. I just couldn't do it anymore, as well as Cobi wasn't sleeping well after being nursed to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282178 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:26:04 +0000 pastemoo 282178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>THAT much stress is not worth it. Either you embrace that CIO works for Cobi and you do it (seriously sleep deprivation is no joke!) or you don't embrace it and you don't talk about it and you quit.</p> <p>That was really really harsh. I'm sorry to be so harsh. I just think that it is important to be OK with your parenting choices no matter what you thought they would be before. CIO is really an OK thing to do if it works for you and Cobi. AND your next LO may not need it/like it/respond to it. It doesn't mean CIO is the "only" way but it is your way with you and Cobi. Nothing to be embarrassed about! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282176 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:25:01 +0000 Mrs. Pen 282176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tysonja: I do think it's the age. I have a 6 month old, 18 month old and 5 year old. The 5 year old is pretty independent and helps a lot but she loves to have play time with me. Between naps for the younger two, feedings, meals etc - it's so busy and there isn't time to have stress-free fun time! They never seem to nap at the same time..</p> <p>Once all three are older, I think it will be a lot more fun - we can go to the park more often, the childrens museum, zoo etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282168 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:17:52 +0000 tysonja 282168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: taking care of three little ones can't be easy in any circumstance! Good for you for sticking it out while Cobi was so little! I am super impressed! It's interesting how our feelings about how we choose to raise our LOs can vary depending on the 'norms' around us -- when really in the end what works best for our little guys is what's best for them. I was just reflecting that if I *didnt* choose to CIO with my lo I probably would have felt uncomfortable sharing it with other mums too, since everyone does CIO. Anyway, be confident in your choices as a mum! Sounds like what u are doing is working for him! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282156 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:08:57 +0000 Mrs. Pen 282156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tysonja: Oh really?! yeah I was so against it... until we dealt with a two-month sleep regression and I was depressed, unhappy, and going insane... and so was Cobi! At 6 months I bit the bullet and things couldn't be better. In all honesty, I don't think I could have done it before 6 months though and I'm glad I didn't. I think part of being a good mom is reading your baby to know what is best at this time in their life, and knowing Cobi, he wouldn't have done well with CIO before this month.</p> <p>@TurtleDoves: so glad someone understands!! Even though I don't feel guilty doing it with Cobi because it works for us; I feel guilty whenever I find myself having to talk about it!</p> <p>@Thehistoryofus: @jessiejo17: that was a huge perk! I was excited for Cobi to grow up around other kids and learn how to share and interact from early on. and he ADORES those kids.</p> <p>I will be buying a pack n play hopefully this week and I'm thinking of having Cobi nap in it in his room and hopefully that will help get him accustomed to sleeping in the pnp, and in turn, sleeping in the pnp somewhere outside of home.</p> <p>Today was just such a stressful day at work between juggling his naps and the toddler boy, and the 5 yo girl wanting to play with me. oi. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-282034 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:55:46 +0000 tysonja 282034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I agree with photojane... :) just want to say that I think it's awesome that you have such a great relationship with the mom! In the end, you can trust yourself for what is the best balance for you and your babe:) </p> <p>I think it is so interesting what you mentioned about CIO... In my community I don't think I know anyone who *doesnt* CIO from a verrrrry young age:) you are a great mom to your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281979 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:24:38 +0000 photojane 281979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with some of the pp's in that I think as Cobi gets a little older it will be easier for him to adapt. At only one day a week, I don't think he'll be thrown off enough for it to seriously affect him. I would continue CIO every day and do whatever works for you on the one day you're nannying. 4 months is a rough patch for napping anyway (at least in my experience). it seems like you're in a great situation there, and it would stink to let it go over losing an hour of nap per week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281948 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:04:27 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 281948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: If I did CIO I wouldn't tell anyone either. It's too controversial and people don't like hearing about it. I'm with ya..<br /> I think being that it is 1 day a week, it could be ok if you stayed. I mean, Cobi *and* her 18m old will soon grow older and these issues may no longer be issues. This might just be a roadblock right now being that their ages are both so demanding and "transitional" at this point.<br /> If you make more money than you would be spending in child care, then maybe you can put Cobi into childcare until her 18m old is a little more grown up or until Cobi is more established in a routine so that bringing him to work won't be so much of a mess?<br /> *I'm sorry you're going through this* It was VERY hard to leave my nanny gig too:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281896 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:37:39 +0000 LuLu Mom 281896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess if Cobi is only getting 1 less hour nap a week, I would still on the position as it will be good for him to interact with other children. One day a week, while a setback isn't as bad as several days a week. You can really work him the other days he might grow out of the poor sleeping? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281894 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:36:34 +0000 MsMini 281894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would maybe look at my other options before ending your working relationship with this person. Maybe you could watch a couple kids in your own home a couple days/afternoons a week, or pick up some part time out of the house work on evevings or weekends while your DH takes care of Cobi to bring in the same (or more) money. In the meantime while you look at your options, see if the situation gets better as Cobi gets older/adapts to the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281884 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:29:09 +0000 Goldilocks1107 281884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's enough of an issue that it's affecting how you're able to parent/sleep train Cobi. Since it's 8.5 hours a week, is it something that you could watch one child at your own home instead so you can still bring in some money? Maybe put an ad on Care.com offering part-time care during the week? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281850 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:13:53 +0000 T.H.O.U. 281850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, so its just throwing off his nap for 1 day a week? And its really just reducing nap time from 2 hrs to 1 hr? Honestly, I think I would try to push through and make it work since it sounds like you really like the position. He will learn to adapt. Plus it sounds like it is a good relationship and exposure for him to be around other kids which I think you will really start to appreciate once he's over 6 months or so! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281842 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:11:32 +0000 sorrycharlie 281842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oyyy that is hard. honestly, if I were in the situation, I'd probably stop and maybe even seek another position with a different scenario or less children or something. my key thing is when you said 'dread'.. I have severe anxiety and dread would give me ulcers! I'd much rather have things going the way I feel comfortable with as far as my LO 7 days a week, instead of one day throwing her off, if that makes sense.</p> <p>sorry if that was total jumble...I'm so tired. lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281778 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:27:05 +0000 Mrs. Pen 281778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Thehistoryofus: 8.5 hrs week, one day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281777 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:26:29 +0000 Mrs. Pen 281777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I don't have guilt about CIO being the eat for Cobi, but I do in that I don't want to tell people we did it. I swore up and down while pg that I would never CIO and had thesupport of my mon, sister and nanny mom. Now that I found it's what works for us, I just can't tell anyone. These are the few people in my life that I truly care what they think. So i just haven't been able to admit that this is what we do to her. It has nothing to do with her pushing her parenting on me, she's not like that at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281764 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:19:18 +0000 T.H.O.U. 281764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this a full time thing or just certain days? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281755 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:13:24 +0000 MamaMoose 281755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think her aversion to CIO should affect your ability to parent YOUR child. While you need to follow her rules in regards to her own children, you should parent Cobi in the way that works best for him and for you. I would just let her know that at this time you are not concerned about the situation posing a problem for Cobi, but if she thinks there is an issue with the way HER kids are being cared for, she should let you know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281736 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:04:06 +0000 Mrs. Pen 281736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: @looch: I asked her and she would, except that she still nurses her 18 mos old to sleep for his nap(s). She said shes never had anyone else eer put her son down for his nap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281732 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:02:06 +0000 looch 281732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to suggest the same thing, but I can understand if the answer is no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281725 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:00:05 +0000 photojane 281725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this may be far-fetched, but would she let you watch the kids at your house? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-might-need-to-leave-my-job#post-281709 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 13:53:12 +0000 Mrs. Pen 281709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As most of you here know, I'm a nanny. I have been with this family for over 2.5 years. Back when they had only one child and she was 2.5. A year later they had another one and the oldest started school, so my job has always been fairly easy. I got pregnant last summer and the mom was thrilled and guaranteed that I'd have my job and could bring my son. I was positive it would be the perfect position.</p> <p>I have been back from maternity leave for about 4 months and it was going well for awhile. The mom and I have similar parenting styles and we have a great friendship. </p> <p>Oh, and one thing I should add- she is a WAHM, and has a private office. I've always loved having her here, and it allowed her to do/continue extended EBF with her kids.</p> <p>Ok, so Cobi is a great baby and totally laid back. But things have changed a lot since 4 months ago that is making my question whether this is the right fit for us at this time in our lives. Up until now I nursed Cobi to sleep and he slept on the parents bed, and his naps here were great. Now that he is rolling, I couldn't do that anymore and since he's been in the pack n play his naps are less than stellar, he naps maybe an hour (compared to two hrs at home), I can't continue my nap training because the mom is home and soooo against CIO, and so I've had to give in to nursing him to sleep, which is three steps back and then he fights going down at home knowing he can nurse of he fights.</p> <p>On top of that she said she had some concerns two weeks ago; she is feeling anxious about having me care for three young children. Especially now that her youngest is 18 mos and very into biting, hitting, climbing and exploring. She said she would feel so guilty if he ever hurt my son. That this isn't fair to Cobi as he gets shoved to the wayside as I care for the others. She doesn't doubt my ability to handle three kids. And neither do I.</p> <p>But knowing she has anxiety, and now I do.. Is a big deal. I adore these kids firstly, and secondly the money, albeit little, I bring in really helps. </p> <p>I just don't know what to do. I'm becoming more and more stressed and dreading Tuesdays; I always loved coming here! Cobi doesn't sleep well on tues now and it affects his ability to sleep on his own later.</p> <p>Sorry this is so long! It's really emotional for me as I've known these kids as long as they remember. </p> <p>What would you do in my situation? Is Cobi's sleep a big enough strain to give me reason to quit, or just trying to handle all three?</p> <p>Gahh I don't know! Making a little side money without paying for childcare is a huge plus. </p>