https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:01:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876766 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 14:05:15 +0000 codeitall 2876766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many people like me! We've been trying to potty train for 4 months now. He's now 4 and still refuses to go at daycare. Daycare requires pullups, so it is like we've just switched from diapers to pullups. To him, they're the same.</p> <p>One thing daycare does now: they have him sit on the potty to get his pullup changed. He used to not go even close to the potty, so this is progress. They told him he was too big for the diaper changing area so he had to sit on the potty instead.</p> <p>I also make him change his own pullup if he's just wet.</p> <p>We're just waiting till he gets his act together and decides he wants it. I'm hoping that when we potty train his little sister in a couple months he'll feel the pressure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876759 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 12:33:54 +0000 Adira 2876759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: When we potty trained my youngest (at 3, apparently before he was really ready), he wouldn't go at school either. The first week, he would just try to hold it all day and often have a huge accident at the end of the day. Then he would hold it all day and have a huge accident as soon as we got home. I don't think he started going at school until he was actually "ready" on his own. Rewards helped at home, but kind of giving up and letting him be in charge of this was the only thing that really "worked." And same with #2 - he refused to poop in the potty completely and we eventually gave up - he always would just hold it until his nighttime diaper. And then at 3.5, he just started pooping on the potty all by himself and we haven't looked back since. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876745 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 11:43:12 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2876745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone who said wait. O potty trained on the early side, maybe 26 months or so. Like your daughter, she seemed so ready in so many ways. While she did eventually get it and is pretty dependable about self initiating now (40 months) it's caused a lot of power struggles, regressions and all out refusals. I think if I'd waited till closer to 3 it would've been easier. I try to remind myself that just because they CAN do it (anything) sometimes, doesn't mean they can ALWAYS do it yet. It sounds like your daughter is similar to mine, and the more pressure/prompting she gets, the more she'll push back. I'm certainly not an expert, but I do wish I'd waited a little longer and avoided some of the stressful refusals and power struggles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876739 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 10:49:55 +0000 Portboston 2876739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I vote wait. My son didn’t potty train until 3 yrs 3 months. He was the type that straight out refused to even sit on the potty ever. And even after we potty trained, he was in diapers at school for another 3 months because he would only go on the little toddler potty &amp; was scared of the regular toilet. We had all the tools available for him from the time he was about 2 and always asked him if he wanted to go pee on the potty but he just wouldn’t try it at all. </p> <p>If school doesn’t require it, I wouldn’t push it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876737 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 10:37:02 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2876737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: my son’s class is like that too and doesn’t have a designated diaper area. The kids in diapers and pull ups are changed in the bathroom. Maybe in the next class the teachers are better at helping kids with potty training. Mechanically she knows what to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876734 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 10:32:54 +0000 bakingdoodle 2876734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I echoed the same comments: she doesn't seem to be ready. For my daughter I had a 'mental' deadline of potty trained by september 2018 or by miracle it would have been a month earlier. my nephew was born end of July and I had hope that I would be able to give the diaper genie away as she was going to turn 3 by end of August. Didn't go as plan. She had no interest. she peed in her diaper all the time. But then she just 'got it'. Daycare doesn't push anything, doesn't really help (oh I wish they did) apart from bringing the kid to the potty if the kid asks. But yeah, came November she started to be dry and just a week before Christmas, she was in underwear. So don't despair. Just listen to her. Don't push: to me, sitting a kid on the potty takes so much time. Watching the tablet on the potty took too much energy and had no result.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876732 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 10:24:27 +0000 SteelerGirl 2876732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're also potty training right now and dealing with some of the same things you are. However, ours will go when prompted so I really feel for you that yours won't.</p> <p>My advice is to stick with it, keep trying, and just know that it's going to be a long process and make peace with it. Daycare is forcing our daughter to be in a pull up all day and we've seen a huge regression because of it (she thinks its ok to just go in her pants). But we can't do anything about it. So we keep offering the potty, and we know one day she will get there.</p> <p>For what it's worth, I don't really believe in "ready" or "not ready". I don't really believe that if you wait until the right time it will magically be easier. I think it just takes more time for some kids to get it. And going back and forth will just make it take longer. I also believe that if you "quit" (as in, stop making her try to use the potty), you send a message that using the potty is optional. </p> <p>Those are just my thoughts. It's so tough, but soon enough you'll look back and realize you're through it! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876727 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 10:02:46 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2876727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Setting really matters for kids, so I still would stress that readiness is a factor, even if it works in some areas and not in others. My guess is she probably doesn't want to stop playing, or she feels weird with other kids around? Do they take them for regular potty visits at daycare or is it ad hoc? The structure at daycare helped my daughter, who has a huge case of FOMO, because everyone had to stop what they were doing to go potty. Otherwise, even now, at nearly 6, I have to remind her to stop and go because she wants to keep doing whatever she's doing. Have her teachers given you any ideas for what they might do? At some point, honestly, it'll click, but I wonder if diagnosing what's causing the difference between how she goes at home vs daycare might help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876702 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 08:59:41 +0000 ShootingStar 2876702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes she does seem like she's not ready, like today. But in other ways, she's super ready. When we're home and I have her commando or pantsless, she does awesome all day and the majority of the pottying is prompted by her. But school is this big hurdle and I don't know what to do about it.</p> <p>The other issue is that in May she'll be moving up to the preschool room, which doesn't have diaper changing facilities. So while they don't require kids to be potty trained to be in that room, the expectation is that they train pretty soon after joining that room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876698 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 08:32:19 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2876698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the previous commenters. It sounds like she's not ready yet and she's still really young. We had a very similar experience when we tried to train my daughter, and after a lot of frustration, we just decided to leave it alone. The week before her 3rd birthday, she asked if she could wear underwear to school, we said OK, and that was that. We struggled for another 6 months with her holding #2 and only going in a pull-up, and that worked out on its own too. I really became a "let it be until they're initiating" evangelist after living through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876694 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 08:24:16 +0000 Adira 2876694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like she's just not ready. Some kids take longer, and she's not even three yet, so this might be struggle not worth having.</p> <p>With my youngest, we started to potty train him right at three, and it was a STRUGGLE. I wish we had just waited for him to be ready because it was a constant battle of wills. The only thing that worked for us was rewarding him when he went and then letting him figure it out on his own. He didn't want to be prompted or reminded. He's very independent and wanted to go when he wanted to go, and if I prompted him, he would just refuse and then having an accident. Rewarding him when he went and then letting HIM do it was the only thing that worked. But he was also three at that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876684 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 07:52:28 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2876684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would it be terrible to just let her keep using diapers and pull ups for now? This is coming from someone who gave LO all the tools to potty train and then just waited until he was ready. </p> <p>I will say it sounds like she doesn’t like the constant potty talk and prompts to use the bathroom. LO is like that at home. At school his teachers can get him to sit and try. At home he only goes when he feels the need to even if that means a minute later after a prompt he’s telling me it’s time.</p> <p>Would a reward work? She gets something every time she initiates going to the potty and does something or keeps her pull ups and training pants dry all day at daycare? When I actively was trying to get LO to use the potty rewards didn’t work too well because that isn’t really how I parent- you do this, you get that- and also LO felt the reward wasn’t big enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-help-with-potty-training#post-2876678 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 07:14:53 +0000 ShootingStar 2876678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am at a loss with what to do with DD. We tried potty training her last August when she turned two, and it didn’t work, for many reasons. So we backed off and a few weeks ago decided to try again. </p> <p>In some ways she was doing great, but in other ways she’s a lot harder than DS was. Most importantly, I haven’t yet figured out how to get her to ore on command. With DS it took him FOREVER to self initiate, but we could tell him to pee at regular intervals and he would, and he’d stay dry in between. </p> <p>With DD there’s been no success telling her it’s time to potty. On the other hand, she had been really good about tell me that she had to go, or she would say she was wet and she either wasn’t (but needed to go) or had a drop on her pants. For a while when she came home from daycare we’d take off her pull-up and keep her commando and she’d pee once without an accident (or again have a tiny drop). </p> <p>But the problem is daycare. They were requiring pull-ups and she refuses to go at school. So I got her some training underwear that has more padding for absorption and a PUL layer for waterproofing. I was thinking she’d start doing the same thing as she does at home - realizing she’s a tiny bit wet and tell her teachers. Instead she’s just learned to pee her pants with no remorse. </p> <p>This morning she was super grumpy and I figured she needed to pee but I didn’t push it and she had a small accident after breakfast and refused to use the potty. And I couldn’t force the issue because DH needed to drop them off and get to work. I told DD she needed to keep her undies dry and asked if she needed a diaper. She said yes. :bummed: and was perfectly happy to put on a pull-up (all that we had close by). </p> <p>So I just don’t know what to do. I feel like she’s regressing with everything we do, not getting better. I feel like the only thing that would help is for me to take a week off of work and keep her home and potty train her, but that’s just not possible right now. The best I could do is a long weekend in May, which also our anniversary. Great way to spend an anniversary, huh?</p> <p>Does anyone have any advice? I just don’t know what to do. She’s not super motivated by anything in particular. And I feel like all she learns at daycare is to pee her pants. I’m at a loss :sad: . </p>