https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 18:04:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183697 Tue, 19 May 2015 17:57:24 +0000 anonysquire 2183697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like this.... </p> [attach=1857/15/nomd3o.600x600.IMG_20150502_140136.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183626 Tue, 19 May 2015 16:21:25 +0000 anonysquire 2183626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: only because I've tried several therapists and countless medications and they haven't helped at all. I've even tried hippie techniques. I've given up trying to treat it and am now just wanting to focus on trying to still live my life normally with it. Mostly failing at that but I think I'm getting a little better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183619 Tue, 19 May 2015 16:18:40 +0000 andthewildones 2183619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: not sure that she would be aware of it unless you were informing her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183618 Tue, 19 May 2015 16:17:58 +0000 MamaG 2183618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I know it wasn't the question, but why do you say your anxiety isn't going anywhere? My DH suffers from anxiety as well. He was able to do some talk therapy to try to alleviate it and when that still didn't fix it, he sought medication. It's made a night and day difference for him and his quality of life. I'm not sure how long you have suffered with anxiety, but for him he could distinctly recall life before his anxiety and he knew he wanted to get back there if at all possible. Take care of yourself so you can take care of those you love. I'll get off my soapbox now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183610 Tue, 19 May 2015 16:12:55 +0000 anonysquire 2183610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The anxiety isn't going anywhere unfortunately. And I do feel pretty ok so far with Zumas activities. Like I don't feel like I'm holding her back in that area. But I don't want to be selfish and keep her home from school just for me. So that's why I'm leaning towards putting her in.</p> <p>Idk, I guess it kind of scares me that she might hate me because of my anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183608 Tue, 19 May 2015 16:07:23 +0000 andthewildones 2183608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: pre k here doesn't start til 4, but getting her out a lot is just as good for socialization. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183538 Tue, 19 May 2015 15:15:23 +0000 bunnylove08 2183538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can do part time daycare, its like 3 hours a day and that ways its eases Z and you into a school setting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183505 Tue, 19 May 2015 15:00:24 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2183505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: I did the same thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183491 Tue, 19 May 2015 14:56:58 +0000 catomd00 2183491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you need to address the root cause of the problem - your anxiety. Whether or not you put her in preschool won't fix the anxiety issue. Have you thought about getting therapy for yourself? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183408 Tue, 19 May 2015 14:17:59 +0000 reverie 2183408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't worry about more classes until she is 18 months plus to be honest. I have read / heard they don't "play with" other children until 24 months and before then it is more "playing next to". I think I would put her on the waiting list and by the time it came around it would be worth sending her. It is only a few hours a day typically and I think it will be good for a child to have new positive experiences as they get older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183291 Tue, 19 May 2015 13:05:16 +0000 sarac 2183291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: We have that here - my daughter loves it. We go grocery shopping on the weekends and make a big thing out of it just because she enjoys it so much. </p> <p>As someone who had a mother with severe anxiety, I would really beg you to try and shield her from it as much as possible. As an adult with my own kids, I'm really starting to understand just how much my mother intentionally held me back in life in service of her anxiety. She really tried to teach me that the world was a scary, terrible place, and she was pretty successful. Now I feel really sad about all the ways in which I'm not brave enough to go out and do the things I want to do. I keep working on it, but it feels like this huge awful battle that I wish I didn't have to fight. </p> <p>And to be honest, I'm really angry with her about it. We don't have a great relationship now, and this is a big part of it. I specifically chose to marry someone who is absolutely fearless, and we're trying to raise our daughter that way, because I want the cycle of anxiety and fearfulness to stop with me. But I doubt that my mother and I will ever be especially close, just because of how angry I am with her about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183277 Tue, 19 May 2015 13:00:48 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2183277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: +1! :)</p> <p>I'd say try for at least one year of preschool before kindergarten. We are probably starting at 3.5, with K starting close to 6, and other classes for now. Eventually, yes, you're going to have to work through this but hopefully by then she'll be a little older and you might feel a little better about it. I give a big fat no to daycare as well..I'm hoping we can somehow swing a nanny for lo2 but we'll see... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183193 Tue, 19 May 2015 12:22:39 +0000 BandDmommy 2183193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she has a lot of activities. I wouldn't worry about socialization. I don't think it hurts to put your name on waiting list though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183191 Tue, 19 May 2015 12:21:40 +0000 sorrycharlie 2183191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I haven't read all the replies. But I also have severe anxiety. However, it has gotten easier as DD1 has gotten older! Even when I went to the hospital to have DD2 I was a wreck and that was her first overnight away from me, and now I'm like PSH please go visit Nana, I need some space (they get really, really fun toward 3..and by fun, I mean feisty, fresh and super attitude-y). I can't put her into preschool til next year anyway because she just misses the cutoff. But..anyway, long story short, just play it by ear. if you don't want to send her when it comes time, she won't be a recluse. My mom tried to get me to preschool and I flat out refused. I made it so difficult she gave up. and I'm just fine :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183100 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:51:56 +0000 Cole 2183100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have only skimmed the other responses but my take on it is that if you are doing classes and exposing her to other adults who lead the way as well as other kids and grown ups them you are probably fine skipping 3s preschool. </p> <p>My daughter just misses the kindergarten cut off in our state and will essentially be going to kindy when she is 6. I cannot wrap my brain around paying for 3 years of preschool so she won't go until she is 4. </p> <p>All that being said, if there is a long wait list I would put her on it. Who knows, maybe you will have triplets by then and will be desperate for someone to entertain your three year old! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183099 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:51:42 +0000 plantains 2183099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: go ahead and put her on a waiting list, you have 2 whole years to change your mind! My DD turns 3 next month and she isn't remotely similar to how she was at one. You may find that by the time Zuma is a threenager you welcome the chance for her to do her own thing for 2.5 hrs per day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183080 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:37:14 +0000 cheesetomywhine 2183080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Not sure if this helps but I don't plan on putting DD into preschool at 3 ( she turns it the end of June). I do plan on her starting one or two activites- either gymnastics or ice skating. She may also start violin. I feel as though that is enough. Seems like Zuma has a lot of socialization! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183056 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:22:16 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2183056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In DD1's first year she was away from me for a total of ten hours and spent those with either DH or my mom. We had a nanny for her second year and she really blossomed. I'll have her in part time preschool for two days a week starting at 2.5.<br /> If there's a long wait list I'd get on it now, but don't stress about her socialization yet. It sounds like you're doing a good job with activities. And she's still a baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183052 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:20:47 +0000 Keybee 2183052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you are reading to her at home then she doesn't need 3 yr old preschool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183048 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:19:44 +0000 psw27 2183048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Would you consider having a babysitter come to your house? That way you could be there for the first few times, maybe just in the next room or doing stuff around the house. Then as you got more comfortable, you could venture out for small increments of time - errands or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183043 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:17:34 +0000 MamaG 2183043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @2PeasinaPod:, I think you will be surprised what will come of a different environment. I'm astounded by the things that my girl has learned at daycare/school. Of course I WOH, so her being with me isn't really an option. She loves school and thrives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183032 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:10:52 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2183032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I would say go ahead and get her on the waiting list for the preschool that has the 2-year wait. It certainly couldn't hurt. Once you're there, you can then decide whether either or both of you are ready to send her to preschool part time. </p> <p>And a note on daycare, I started sending my little guy 2 days/week when he turned 1 to socialize him a little. The center we chose was very play based and offered both full time and part time care with pretty flexible hours for the part time. They are doing things with him that I would never be able to do...so while I understand your worry, preschool is a lot of the same, just a different structure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183024 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:07:22 +0000 rachiecakes 2183024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: if she's in classes already and a playgroup, it sounds like she's getting a ton of social interaction. :)<br /> we both work, me during the day, DH in the evenings and while it was great as far as childcare goes, LO was missing out on a social life. He's in preschool half days and LOVES it. Eager to learn, loves his friends. I feel really good about sending him for those reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183023 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:07:04 +0000 GreenThumb 2183023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I know, I kind of want to see how one day goes in the summer and maybe wait until fall to bump it up to two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183019 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:05:52 +0000 PurplePeony 2183019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @psw27: I don't think this is common to all Wegmans stores, none of the ones where I used to live had childcare! Maybe it's a pilot program only in certain regions?</p> <p>@anonysquire: what do you lose if you get on the wait list now and then change your mind when a spot comes up? If it's nothing or just a small deposit, I'd probably get on the list and make the final decision later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183014 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:04:52 +0000 anonysquire 2183014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@GreenThumb: it is hard! Please let me know how it goes! 1 day a week sounds nice haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2183010 Tue, 19 May 2015 11:03:45 +0000 GreenThumb 2183010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: My DD is just turning 2 and she hasn't been left with anyone other than my SIL, MIL, or my mom! I am starting her in an early development preschool this summer that is 2.5 hours and it is killing me to decide between 1 day a week and 2 days a week!! I can't imagine being away from her, but I feel like it will be good for her (and me). I know it is hard, but they do need to learn to be independent and self-reliant. And by the time she is 3, you both might be ready.</p> <p>ETA: Yes, just put her on the list and decide later! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2182995 Tue, 19 May 2015 10:57:25 +0000 anonysquire 2182995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I found out that the school down the street has a waiting list 2 years long, so I thought I would try and figure things out now. I guess I could put her on the waiting list and try and figure it out.</p> <p>And she's in gymnastics and then just started horseback riding class this week. Should I try and find another class? She also has playgroup once a week and will be in a church nursery for 2 hour every Sunday when she's 18 months. </p> <p>Big fat no to daycare. That doesn't seem like it would be helpful because I'd just worry the whole time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2182994 Tue, 19 May 2015 10:57:06 +0000 lamariniere 2182994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about starting with some kind of mommy and me classes so you can see that she is interacting with other children and other caregivers and is safe? Kind of ease yourself in that way before sending her off to daycare. </p> <p>I would also recommend therapy for you to help with the anxiety. Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-some-advice-2#post-2182992 Tue, 19 May 2015 10:56:21 +0000 psw27 2182992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: Wow really? We just started getting Wegmans here... I might have to check that out! </p>