https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 03:45:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-269068 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 22:53:10 +0000 holdonforonemoreday 269068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I hear ya sister! I'm sooo there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-268998 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 22:06:04 +0000 JennyD 268998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. High Heels: I think I totally agree. I haven't gone back full-time just yet, and I do love watching baby change every day, but there are certainly days we greet daddy at the door and I say "here's your girl, she's ALL YOURS!" I think being a working mom - out of the house - will allow me to continue to be calm and appreciate the baby. I hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267702 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:20:34 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 267702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was unemployed through my first pregnancy and the first 7-months postpartum so I got a taste of being a SAHM. I loved staying at home those first 7-months, but I did often have to carry my baby while going pee or eat with one hand while the baby is in the other (she never wanted to be put down). It was tiring, but I didn't mind because she was so little and helpless.</p> <p>I think it would be nice to be a SAHM for the first year because they're so cute and little and cuddly. It's amazing watching how fast they change and grow, but by the 2nd year they get more demanding and take up a lot more energy. She is very verbal now and always demanding something. I can't imagine doing it all day every day with no break. </p> <p>I loooove my daughter, but being a working mother makes me a better mom. At least I get a break in a typical workday- whether its just zoning off in front of the computer, or taking a lunch break with my kindle, or conversing with coworkers. It's so nice to have that balance of interacting with adults and having quiet moments at work... then coming home and spending a few hours with my daughter before she goes to bed. </p> <p>And I love feeling like my weekdays and weekends are distinct. Those 7-months where I stayed at home, it felt like my days were nonstop and the days blurred together. I never felt like I got a break. But working on weekdays and family time on weekends really breaks up my week. It makes me a better parent too because weekends become even more cherished and special. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267691 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:15:53 +0000 Andrea 267691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I get ya, I got really homesick living abroad, too!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267676 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:56:52 +0000 looch 267676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: No problem! I am DYING to get back, it's been 4 years since I moved...I was fine while working but since I've been at home I've been really homesick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267675 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:56:01 +0000 Andrea 267675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Ah ok. I had also been wondering when you were moving back to the US so thanks for answering that, too! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267672 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:55:03 +0000 looch 267672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: I am planning to, we're moving back to the US by the end of the year and I've got the feelers out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267670 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:53:59 +0000 Andrea 267670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: are you returning to work? </p> <p>I agree that the grass is always greener. Sometimes I am so sick of work and having to juggle that along with everything else. I have moments where I think it would be easier to be a SAHM so that I don't have all this pressure from work at least. But I know that something else will give and it won't actually be any easier, just different. It all depends on what you want, but that is hard to figure out sometimes, too!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267665 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:50:24 +0000 looch 267665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to go back to work! The days at home can be very trying, especially when the weather is bad and we can't get outside. My son also fell and sprained his foot on Tuesday, so now, he wants to be carried around! The hour before my husband gets home is the worst...he's tired and hungry, I am tired and hungry and we're both just sick of each other! But I do love him, I just wish that I could have a break! </p> <p>It's tough. The grass is always greener. I gave up a lot to stay home but I am also giving up a lot to go back to work. There's no perfect answer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-267662 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:47:29 +0000 JennyD 267662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're totally not alone!</p> <p>I'm about to start work again, full-time in september. I was a contractor before, so I worked until the day I was induced, and was back at it a few weeks later (I write reports, it's not exactly strenuous). So I've been "working" from home the past 7 months. I thought going back full-time would be fine. I was excited. My husband is going to stay home with our LO until she's 1. But last week I went into the office a few days, and I didn't want to! I changed my mind! It's too late now, however, that ship has sailed. I'm sure it will get easier every day, sort of. And for me, knowing she's at home with her Daddy makes it bearable. What on earth I'm going to do when she goes to day care . . . well, we'll cross that bridge another day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264982 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 17:35:14 +0000 Mrs.M57 264982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just recently in the same boat! Loved my job before baby m, but maternity leave was nearing its end and I just couldn't imagine going back! Honestly although I'm loving it and glad for the decision, we are having to live differently and we stress about money a lot now! Just sold one of our cars and we are trying to cut lots of corners. I did make the decision to pick up very part time work on Saturdays only, I do still think its worth it though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264970 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 17:19:20 +0000 Honeybee 264970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had no idea I'd want to be a SAHM until we had DD. I thought I would for sure want to continue working, but then we had her, and I had a complete change of heart. It took 2 years and another kid before I was finally able to stay at home, though. </p> <p>I love being at home, but I work so much harder now than I did before. I think it's a lot more rewarding than my previous job, but it's also a lot more demanding, and it's not like I ever leave "the office." Even when DH is home, I'm still "on duty" either with the kids, or trying to get stuff done around the house that I couldn't find time for during the day. It's wonderful being home with them, but it's also really hard work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264369 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 09:12:32 +0000 littlek 264369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really want to work part time. I think when we have our 2nd child DH will let me go to a part time schedule.. we just moved into a new house so DH is still adjusting to our larger mortgage payment.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264366 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 09:10:03 +0000 Rubies 264366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been off work for 14 months and I finally go back to work in 2 weeks. I. can't. wait. I LOVED being at home with LO and wish I were cut out to be a SAHM but in reality, my career was with me before LO was born so I feel like it is a part of who I am. To quit my job would mean to give up a part of me. I always think about maybe deciding to be a SAHM but now right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264289 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 07:54:22 +0000 Maysprout 264289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When LO was born I couldn't imagine having to work the long hours I had been working. I also hated my job and having LO really solidified my disdain for the whole thing, not just the place I was working. </p> <p>If I really liked my job it may have been a different story because I don't completely want to give up a career and finding a job you love is really hard sometimes! But even in a job I loved I think I would have a hard time working long hours anymore. </p> <p>I agree with the others that being a SAHM isn't all rainbows and butterflies though it is the best job I've ever had but it is hard and busy and demanding and to an extent never ending since you don't 'go home' from the job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-264224 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 06:37:34 +0000 heffalump 264224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: At first I thought it was funny and cute. Now that it's every day.... not so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263515 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 20:30:00 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 263515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: You summed up my thoughts perfectly. I am a SAHM right now and I really miss work. I love my LO to bits and know it will be tough to leave him, but what I wouldn't give to focus on a task for any length of time. And yeah, it would be nice to go to the bathroom alone again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263511 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 20:13:11 +0000 mrsjazz 263511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I've been having the same struggle as you. I really want to stay home but DH is a teacher and we can't live comfortably in NYC on his salary alone. I never thought I would have such a strong desire to stay home. I know it wouldn't be glamorous and there'd be tough days but I'd be there with her and not worrying about nanny cams and daycare. </p> <p>A girl can dream! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263505 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 19:57:12 +0000 Mrs. Pen 263505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I'm in the opposite boat!!</p> <p>I am a SAHM and wish I could work. </p> <p>Of course I love and adore my son, but I'm not sure I'm the type of mom that is fit to be a SAHM. It's hard being needed 24/7. It's hard feeling like there is no break, or when there is one while he naps, that I have a bajillion things I have to do. </p> <p>I worry about money... A LOT. I might be a better SAHM if $$ wasn't such an issue too. We get by, but barely. </p> <p>I am also not a very patient person by nature... so having someone who constantly needs attention and entertaining definitely is not easy!! </p> <p>I know everyone says being a SAHM is the most rewarding and fulfulling job, and for some women I'm sure it is, but I doubt if it's that way for me. I feel like there is something else I should be doing... and want to be doing.</p> <p>On the weekends I have to have DH help out A LOT with DS or else I'd go completely crazy. </p> <p>Maybe it will be easier when he's older and able to do more? But right now I'm having a rough time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263426 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 17:28:24 +0000 regberadaisy 263426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: @Mrs. Superhero: @NYCaliMama: Thank you! I totally appreciate you mamas sharing the ugly side of SAHM! I have that in small doses on the weekend because my husband works then he's working at the new house. Now it doesn't frustrate me but I wonder if I would resent it on a daily basis.<br /> Like many moms on here state some of us are just better moms as a woh mom. I don't know which I am yet!</p> <p>Lots to think about! But if I knew we could swing it financially I think I would... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263422 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 17:20:01 +0000 heffalump 263422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Superhero: lol, people don't talk about these things before we have babies! It's all lack of sleep and baby poop .... not you're never going to be able to poo in private again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263406 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 16:12:39 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 263406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>being a mom is hard however you do it :) I love being at home because I want to be the one there with them even when it's insane. Seriously, I almost had a breakdown today, the baby is sooo cranky about the not crawling yet and the toddler peed on the floor not once, but twice.</p> <p>Insane.</p> <p>However, I don't regret my decision at all, we have less money but I get to be in on all the fun and know that my children are being raised the way I want them to be.</p> <p>And I agree with Artbee, if you are able to just take some time off and get back to your career it's perfect. Unless you have 10 children, it's only going to be a few years out of your entire life, and then they are off to school!</p> <p>@artbee: the other day I was peeing with the baby in my arms and a crying toddler trying to push me off the toilet because she was so offended by my need to pee. It's funny now... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263388 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 15:03:48 +0000 SAHM0811 263388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's definitely not perfect and there is totally an ugly side. I don't know, maybe it's different since I have two kids at home, but I literally barely ever have time for myself. I'm constantly doing something for the kids, house or husband. We have some part-time help that comes in to especially entertain my older one and give me a break sometimes, but even when she is here there are still things my kids need only me for and it's hard for me to do anything uninterrupted. There are hardly ever any breaks as a SAHM (well, especially for me since DH works long hours and my fam isn't always around or available)... I'm constantly multi-tasking all day. </p> <p>Don't even get me started on me doing simple things like calling the bank with two kids around... it can be really tough to do something so simple... Maybe people can't fully understand til they've been through it. I know I knew it was hard to be a SAHM before becoming one, but i didn't fully understand til I was one for a while. </p> <p>But there are also days where things just go really well too. You just never know what kind of day it will be like (like with any job though). The biggest perk though is being able to focus 100% on my family. </p> <p>I've been a working mom too though and I miss it as well sometimes. I think I was really balanced going to work and being a mom. It was tough and tiring as heck, yes... But I was happy now that I look back on it. I'm happy now too as a SAHM, but in a different way. I guess I have just learned to try to be happy with whatever circumstances I'm in. Easier said than done though, I know.</p> <p>Also... before staying at home, I thought I'd have time to study for a certification exam I've been putting off for years... Or I dreamed of starting a little etsy business or something, too... But right now, staying home is more than a full-time job for myself, so I don't see how others do it unless they have just one kid, older kids and/or more help than I do.... Or just more energy, haha. I do love my sleep, when I can get it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263384 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 13:54:49 +0000 heffalump 263384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think of it as giving up my career.... I think of it as putting it on hold for now. I have my masters degree and I put a lot of time, work, and money into my education. I love what I do. But right now I just feel like my place is here with my LO. My career will be waiting for me later, but my LO being a baby and toddler will only happen now, and only happen once. </p> <p>I'm lucky enough that my DH makes enough that we can afford for me to stay home. It's not super easy, but it's doable for us. </p> <p>This all being said.... it's not all rainbows and butterflies. I can't go to the bathroom without her standing on my legs crying. Literally, she hates when I go and she wants to be all up in my business. Little things like that..... you just don't get a break all day long! I still wouldn't trade it, but it's not easy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263383 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 13:48:03 +0000 brownie 263383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found almost the best of both worlds for me. I am a college instructor and I work in the evenings and online. So I get more time to be with my LO and also get to work. He does go to daycare a few days (it would be great if he was old enough for school) so I can do my prep work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-think-i-might-actually-really-want-to#post-263375 Sat, 18 Aug 2012 13:22:14 +0000 regberadaisy 263375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>stay at home. </p> <p>EEK.</p> <p>I never, ever, <i>ever</i> thought I would be one to have these feelings. Pre-M I was 100% confident I would go back to work and have no real issues going back to work despite the early weeks. I've been having these feelings since she started daycare. They were not here when my mom was watching her!</p> <p>But I really enjoy our days together and I can see it only getting better as she gets older. But then I have a short frustration fuse sometimes.<br /> And I wonder if it's because I'm not SAHM right now that makes me want it.</p> <p>I truly truly love my job, it's a career to me not just a j o b. but I think if I were to stay home I can study for my licensing exams meanwhile.</p> <p>Then there's the whole $ factor. Even with making big cuts I don't think we can swing mortgage and health insurance.</p> <p>Unless I found a part time work from home job with cheap health insurance it just ain't gonna happen.</p> <p>Any SAHM moms give up a career to SAHM? How did it work out for you?</p> <p>SAHM, give me the ugly side of it so it doesn't seem so perfect to me!!! </p>