https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 23:48:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569651 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:58:34 +0000 Cherrybee 1569651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: Mad not drunk!!! Hahahahah!! This cracked me up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569603 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:34:40 +0000 Mrs. J 1569603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My coworker and I saw the same midwife team, and while I went completely med free, she had an epidural. SO, moral of the story is, if you want one, you may have one. (but, I'm not in the UK) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569576 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:26:04 +0000 Ree723 1569576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: I gave birth in a public hospital in Australia (same health care system as the UK essentially) with a midwife both times, as per standard practice. The first time, my midwife was great and ordered the epi as soon as I asked for it. Brilliant.</p> <p>For DD2, I was at a different hospital and had a midwife who wasn't happy to order the epi for me, despite being at 4-5 cm. She came up with every excuse under the sun (ie 'I think you're going to progress really quickly', 'you don't need it', 'the anesthetist is probably busy' etc) and really pushed gas and air. I refused it as I'd tried it with my first DD and all it did was make me vomit. She then forced pethidine on me - not forced exactly, but told me it was my only option of pain relief and it would be better than nothing if I was so insistent on pain relief. Ugh. At that point, DH was beyond pissed (mad, not drunk!) and asked for the Team Leader; she came in, I told her I wanted an epidural, and she ordered it up straightaway. The midwife still kept trying to weasel her way out of it though - saying I had to have my blood drawn first and it could take a few hours to come back as it was overnight hours. Then she checked me and said I was at a 7 and the anesthetist probably wouldn't want to give it anyway since I was do close to the end. Fortunately the anesthetist came in then, dismissed all her 'concerns' saying they weren't issues and I finally got my epi. The epi failed (boo to that!) but I did get a new midwife who was a thousand times better!</p> <p>Bottom line: have your DH be your very vocal advocate and don't be afraid to ask for the team leader if you don't think your midwife is really listening to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569143 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 05:50:42 +0000 sea_bass 1569143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and another thing.. Normally you won't be admitted to the hospital until you are at 4cm. Normally until that point you're in triage where there's no way you will be given anything, even G&amp;A. Most NHS hospitals will not consider an epidural before 4cms as it increases the chances of c-sections. So they're not just being asses, they want to help you avoid major surgery. </p> <p>Plus it's very unlikely the person who does them will just be hanging around free while your MW denies you one just for giggles. </p> <p>My hospital has a c-section rate of 40%, so it's pretty difficult to get epidurals as the anesthetist needs to be there during all if them. NHS hospitals are under monumental pressure to lower c-section rates. It's been proven that the earlier an epidural is given the higher the chance of c-section. Midwives are under a lot of pressure to help patients get as far along as possible before getting an epidural for those reasons. </p> <p>Don't worry about it now. It's largely pointless. On the day off let your husband advocate for you. </p> <p>Whether you get one or not it will still be the best day of your life :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569129 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 05:26:25 +0000 Cherrybee 1569129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: Hiya! I'm in the UK too. Yes. there's a good chance your midwife will try to talk you out of having the epidural too early in case it slows your labour down. They will want you to try the gas, then the pethidine first......</p> <p>Some UK Bees - @illumina:, for example - have had wonderful birth experiences in NHS hospitals and haven't had to fight at all for what they want. My experience wasn't so good so I'm going to advise you on the worst case scenario (which probably wont happen to you!).....</p> <p>My advice - freak the fck out when you get there - well in advance of actually needing your epidural. Scream! Shout! Tell them it's your right to have an epidural and you will not stop screaming until you get it. They will probably tell you to wait in case it slows down your labour. DO NOT ACCEPT THIS! It takes so bloody long for the anesthetist to rock up, you could be "too far along" to have it by the time they get it to you. Don't be brave - SCREAM. @sea_bass: is right - there's no point raising it with your community midwife because they wont be there on the day. They might pretend to be interested (mine didn't even do that!) but they're not. Your best ally in this is your DH. Have him prepped to kick off if you don't get what you need when you need it. </p> <p>(Seabass is also right in saying that it depends what other emergencies are going on on the ward. If the anesthetist is in theatre, he's not coming no matter how much you shout). </p> <p>Now I'm going to repeat - your hospital will probably be wonderful. Please, please don't worry. As long as you and your DH are prepped to be very assertive if required, you will be just fine. I promise. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569117 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 03:44:21 +0000 sea_bass 1569117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the UK there's a good chance even if you want one, you won't get it, or you'll have to wait to get it. Care is very different from in the states. It will come down to luck on the day and what else is going on at the time. Of course get your DH to manage it, but there's little point trying to raise the issue beforehand. NHS wards are chronically understaffed. Just hot to hope there's not too many EMCS happening at the same time! </p> <p>Same goes for a written birth plan. No one looked at mine. Even if they did care was completely dictated by the situation on the ward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1569082 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 01:34:08 +0000 Mrs tartan 1569082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks girls. I've got DH on the case, he knows that if I say I want it, it means I want it and he will tell them. Haha. Great idea as takes the pressure of me worrying about having to be rude if I'm in pain. Lol. Have my midwife appointment today so ill ask about when to start writing this in my birth plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568924 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 21:16:47 +0000 skipra 1568924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't really provide much insight because I don't know how things work in the UK but I had no problem getting an epidural even though I delivered with a midwife. I totally agree with @locavore_mama that you should make absolutely certain your SO knows your wishes well in advance so he can advocate for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568901 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 21:01:01 +0000 mrsrain 1568901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not in the UK, but I would suggest talking to your midwife about this now. Establish well in advance what your preference is (and find out about any policies she may have) and avoid issues when you laboring! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568847 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 20:11:47 +0000 regberadaisy 1568847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: maybe you should change your post title to directly ask UK bees?</p> <p>I think in your case make sure your DH knows your desires. He is your biggest advocate during delivery!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568837 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 20:02:01 +0000 daniellemybelle 1568837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure how it is in the UK but in the states midwives have more of a low intervention mindset. My midwife suggested nitrous gas instead of the epidural but I wanted to go straight to the good stuff, haha, and she said okay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568215 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 15:11:21 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1568215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just talk to your midwife about it. Mine offered all sorts of methods of alternative pain relief, but when the time came and I asked for an epidural, she didn't fight me at all. She made it happen (quickly), even though it meant a transfer of care to the OB. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568206 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 15:09:35 +0000 Adira 1568206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I asked for one and they told me my platelets were too low and I couldn't get one! *cry*</p> <p>But as far as the midwife went, she would've totally let me get one if my platelets had played ball with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568153 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:53:59 +0000 illumina 1568153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm from the UK too and my midwife was really supportive. I asked her what she thought I should do and she gave a really fair assessment of the pro's and con's. I got it and didn't regret it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568058 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:26:42 +0000 loveisstrange 1568058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: Ah. I didn't realize you were in the UK. Yes, the answer if yes you will absolutely be allowed to have one. I had my daughter at a large NHS hospital and they were very accommodating and wonderful! My midwife who sat in with me was great about making me as comfortable as possible (even though my epidural failed). Gas and air is a godsend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568005 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:15:07 +0000 Mae 1568005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: That being the case (you having no choice) then I'd just be unapologetic and demanding in your request. They can't make you feel guilty without your permission! It's your birth and if you want an epidural then you shouldn't feel bad about demanding it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1568003 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:14:55 +0000 Mrs tartan 1568003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: yes I should have clarified in my question. I guess by midwife, I really mean "whichever medical practitioner got you through your labour" lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567995 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:13:00 +0000 Mrs tartan 1567995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: wow, this is what I'm worried about. That's rubbish for you, wonder what his problem was!<br /> @MamaMoose: I'm actually in the UK, all medical professionals in the delivery suite are midwives, ill also have a consultant doctor, although I doubt ill see one unless something is wrong. Ill not meet MY midwife until the day I go into hospital and I've no choice about practices, there is 1 hospital in a 60 mile radius. It's a great hospital, but I'm just worried ill get made to feel guilty for not trying natural first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567984 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:10:48 +0000 MamaMoose 1567984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Ah yes, midwives are standard procedure in the UK. I hadn't realized she was in the UK, though I should have based on the name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567983 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:10:37 +0000 Mae 1567983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd talk to them about it to make sure. The midwife practice I go to is big on informed consent. They feel that a med-free birth is safest for mom and baby in *most* circumstances and they do express that opinion, but they will absolutely support your decision to get an epidural if you want one. But, I think since you have a strong preference I would talk to them now and make sure that they will support you. And if you feel like they won't, change practices! I changed practices at 30 weeks because I felt like my OB was not supportive of my choice to go med-free. Its a little unsettling to change mid-pregnancy but I think that finding someone you believe will support you is super important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567972 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:07:21 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1567972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: maybe it is a UK thing? Like here they are hard to get, maybe there they are more standard? </p> <p>@Mrs tartan: I'm wondering if some of the responses won't apply to you since most bees are in the US? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567962 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:04:41 +0000 tlcbaby 1567962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have an epidural, but what I love about my midwife, and most midwives in general, is that they are very open and supportive to whatever type of birth you want. I don't think you will encounter any issues. I agree with @ShootingStar: that if they give you any resistance or you feel uncomfortable then you should see someone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567960 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:04:38 +0000 chopsuey 1567960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I asked and they called for one right away. both times! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567954 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 14:03:26 +0000 ShootingStar 1567954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I had no intention of having a med-free birth and I still chose a midwife. I wanted to go to a certain practice and they had a mix of several midwives with a couple OBs. None of the OBs were accepting new patients but the midwives were. I ended up seeing both during my pregnancy and I never felt a difference in philosophy between the two. </p> <p>@Mrs tartan: If your midwives will try to stop you from getting an epidural then they are not the right fit for you and you should seek out a new practice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567938 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:59:49 +0000 googly-eyes 1567938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't imagine why they wouldn't let you have one at a hospital delivery. Birthing centers are different though. Of course they might encourage you to at least get to a certain point. </p> <p>I was scared of ending up without one too. I thought I had NO pain tolerance and I went into the hospital not even sure it was labor (since the previous day of back labor had done very little) and telling them I needed pain meds no maybe what was or wasn't going on, lol. It turned out that day's contractions HAD been "working" and I was in transition. All this to say that lots of people worry about this and you will be ok. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567935 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:57:51 +0000 travellingbee 1567935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a midwife, but when I went in, I was in agony and asked for the epidural right away. The nurse called the doctor on call who told the nurse that I shouldn't have the epidural yet and to give me pain medicine. I refused and demanded the epidural. She made me sign some paperwork saying I refused. Then she called the doctor back. The doctor then said, "OK" to the epidural and then I had to sign a million more papers while having horrendous contractions. 1 hour and 45 minutes after asking for it, I got my epidural. That doesn't seem to be the norm though. Most people I know got their epidural much faster. No idea what the doctor on call's issue was... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567934 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:57:47 +0000 MamaMoose 1567934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't imagine they would withhold it from you. But I'm curious, if med-free birth isn't your goal, is there a reason you chose a midwife over an OB? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567916 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:53:18 +0000 lawbee11 1567916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! I requested one and the anesthesiologist was in my room 15 minutes later! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567911 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:51:34 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1567911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends where you're receiving medical care. At the birth center where I received care with a midwife, they didn't have epidurals- I knew that going in. But if you're in a hospital, you have access to that and no medical professional would or should deny that request. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-an-epidural-will-my-midwife-try-to-make-me-go-without-if-i-can-did-yours#post-1567910 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 13:51:29 +0000 Smurfette 1567910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! I was actually worried I was getting it to soon and it would stall labor and the nurses were like, if you want it, get it! </p>