https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:37:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-110062 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 09:43:28 +0000 photojane 110062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my mom was my best friend growing up, and still is today. it was clear that she was my mother, and the boss, but i never felt weird talking to her about anything. i always respected her because she was my friend too. even when i was young, i knew that she cared deeply, and i never wanted to disappoint her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-110007 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:59:46 +0000 Maysprout 110007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I guess I'm almost thinking about work relationships too. When I have students or someone I'm in charge of I still develop a sort of friendship with them even though there are clear boundaries in roles and responsibilities. But I guess I've never seen those boundaries as boundaries to developing a friendship either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109975 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:34:09 +0000 mrsjyw 109975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto at @yoursilverlining. My mom and I didn't become friends until well into my adulthood. We were close and I went to her for serious things, but I also didn't divulge all of my innermost secrets with her either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109969 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:24:42 +0000 heffalump 109969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like my mom was a friend and parent. And ill try to do the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109959 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:16:19 +0000 yoursilverlining 109959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom always said the “I’m your parent, not your friend” line, and I plan to take that stance with LO. Being a parents vs. a friend doesn’t mean you can’t be close and can’t foster a relationship where your LO will come to you when she’s having an issue (as much as you can convince a teen to tell mom everything), I just think it means there are always clear lines drawn – mom is mom, not a buddy. “Friendship” seems like it would blur those lines. My mom also used to say (when I would say it was dumb she wasn’t my friend), that parenting is an unequal relationship – there is the adult, and there is the child; and they are not equal as one is in charge and one isn’t. In friendship, it’s an equal relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109930 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 07:33:12 +0000 LuLu Mom 109930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took until I was about 20-21 to consider my mom more of a friend than a parent, and I respect her for that decision. She is the one I call now to talk, but I think it helped me become a better adult/person by her having the boundaries. We were always close and enjoyed time together, but I knew who was in charge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109914 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 06:37:16 +0000 Andrea 109914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you definitely have to set boundaries and probably the easiest/most clear cut way to do that is to say "I am your mom, not your friend". But if you also have a mutual respect and trust, then I think there should be no reason why you can't also develop a friendship overtime as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109832 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:46:35 +0000 cupcakemama 109832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want there to be boundaries. I'm LO's parent first and foremost. Sometimes LO won't like me and that's ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109830 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:39:49 +0000 mrsjazz 109830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't become friends with my mother until I was an adult. But because my mom was/is so young, all my friends treated her as the "cool" mom, but she wasn't cool with me. She was strict. Though when it came to sex/boys/birth control I knew that was something I could talk to her about because she was a teenaged mother and always let us know that if we wanted birth control, etc. she would take us, no getting angry.</p> <p>I don't want to be as strict as my mom, but I want there to be boundaries. I want my kids to be able to come to me to talk about anything, but I'm not sure about being friends yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109816 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:19:10 +0000 Mrs. Pen 109816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I think it may have been a generational thing. All my friends parents were the same way, but now it seems more parents want to be "cool" lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109796 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:03:52 +0000 Maysprout 109796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@miss-spunkin: I definitely believe in boundaries and rules. I guess I feel a bit sad that I didn't feel I could talk to my mom as a friend growing up, even in college. We're close now and she's incredibly giving but I still have a hard time opening up to her because she was very firm on the I'm your mother not your friend attitude growing up and I became closed off to sharing with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109790 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:00:50 +0000 Mrs. Pen 109790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a balance, you need your child to respect you like a parent, but talk to you as a friend.</p> <p>The worst mistake is when parents won't set boundaries for their children because they're afraid they won't like them anymore.</p> <p>I became friends with my mom once I became an adult. But as a kid, she was always my mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-want-to-be-your-friend-but-not-your-peer#post-109785 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 20:57:07 +0000 Maysprout 109785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've seen a couple times people saying they don't want to be their child's friend. I couldn't figure out how I felt about it but I know I do want to be someone my LO feels that they can come to when they have problems - whether serious or not. And I already think she's funny and we play a lot.</p> <p>So then I was thinking uh oh, I'm in trouble, everyone says not to be friends with your kid. But I think as long as I go along with the friendship without trying to act like I'm her peer we'll be OK. </p>