https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Jul 2026 20:55:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768228 Wed, 08 May 2013 15:26:31 +0000 PBandBaseball 768228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I used to work at a Big 4 firm and a lot of our CPE was computer-based training done on our own time. Could you work on your CPE hours during your maternity leave, or possibly go back to work for a couple of weeks after your leave, complete your training, and then submit your notice? It was extremely common in my office for women to come back for a few weeks or a month and then leave permanently. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768111 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:47:14 +0000 Amelieisme 768111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was never an option in my mind to not work so I didn't have to make a decision one way or the other. I can see why that would be hard. I CAN say that for me working helps me to appreciate my time with LO more. I think working 7 hours a day won't make you feel like you aren't seeing LO enough. It is hard to adjust at first...I cried when I went back, but you adjust and now I'm so happy that I work. I think it gives me balance. Plus, I think added financial strain can be very detrimental to happiness. Good luck making your choice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768099 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:44:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 768099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just reading your 'ok with daycare' post too. I think another thing to remember is, no decision you make right now is permanent! If you decide to quit when your 12 weeks is up, and in another month or 2 you are ready to go back to work, you said yourself it probably won't be a big deal. OR, if you go back for 28 hours a week, give it a few weeks, and are miserable-- you can quit. It's still a really hard decision, but it's not forever, no matter what you decide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768083 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:40:12 +0000 Smurfette 768083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: how long do you have for maternity leave? Maybe give it some time and see how you like being at home. I never thought I would want to go back to work. As much as I hate to leave R and send her to day care, I am cut out to be a stay at home Mom. I need more interaction with adults during the day. </p> <p>I get though that it would be a hard decision to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768072 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:34:12 +0000 looch 768072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard not to second guess yourself on these kinds of decisions. I know, I've been there. I wavered so much on returning to work, it was ridiculous. I made myself stressed for no reason.</p> <p>Do you have family near by that can help out, maybe do some time instead of daycare? That's what we do and it's great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768068 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:33:09 +0000 lomom 768068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: I wouldn't stay where I am now. Even if I go back, I'll be looking for a different job before next tax season. I travel way too much in my current job to stay.</p> <p>@MrsCB: well, I told him to think of it as taking 9 months off since I'd said I'd go back when LO was a year and regardless of what we eventually decide, I'll take 12 weeks mat leave. He still wasn't thrilled by the idea. He also thinks I'll get bored. I love taking care of LO and cooking and cleaning--when that's all I have to do. I can't imagine doing all that I do, after work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768064 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:32:03 +0000 Foodnerd81 768064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you reduce your hours a little more, so you worked, say, 3 days a week instead of 4, or worked every morning but left by 3 or something? Since you can afford the basics with you staying home, the actual money wouldn't be a big factor-- not buying a bigger car or going on vacation would easily be worth staying home, to me. But the pressure on your husband, and therefor your marriage, and the loss of your professional certifications, seem like longer terms things to worry about. </p> <p>I also think it is smart to stay home for a while before making a decision-- like @MrsCB: says, some people end up getting really frustrated being home and surprising themselves. </p> <p>It's such a hard situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768062 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:31:42 +0000 mediagirl 768062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I was in your shoes and totally understand what you are going through. First thing's first - 28 hours? That's awesome! It will give you a lot of time you would otherwise miss out on with your lo if you were working 40+ hour weeks. You will be able to get the fulfillment of working, as well as spending time with your lo AND funding your retirement.</p> <p>I went back to work because of some of the reasons you want to go back to work. I went back so we can fund retirement and pay off our house. I would LOVE to stay home with our daughter but I know if I did, it would take a long time for me to get back to where I am in my career when I was ready. It's hard knowing the daycare teachers see her more waking hours a week than I do but I know she is learning a lot more there than she probably could at home with me. </p> <p>Good luck with your decision. I can tell you're really struggling with it but I'm sure you will make the right decision for you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768045 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:26:46 +0000 ShootingStar 768045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What if you quit your job at the end of your leave and took 6 months total, instead of a year? That might be kind of a compromise for what your husband wants and what you do. You also may feel different in a few months. I've had some friends get really frustrated with being SAHM's after a few months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768039 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:25:59 +0000 yellowbird 768039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Will you be able to go back working 28 hours after a year is up? That seems like the perfect schedule to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-768031 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:22:23 +0000 lomom 768031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm a CPA so I have to complete continuing professional education requirements to stay licensed. I can do it without having a job, but it'd be a bit expensive. I think I can get away with a lower amount of CPE hours if I'm not employed, I should really look more closely, though its not a huge hurdle to staying home. I doubt that it would be difficult to find a new job after a year, even with a gap in my résumé. I worked at a Fortune 500 for 3.5 years (interned then got hired full time) before moving into public accounting, where I've been for a year and a half. DH and I talked through this and my plan for where I'd start to look for a job after the year is over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-767992 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:13:06 +0000 Cherrybee 767992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: This is such an agonizing decision and I'm so sorry it's eating you up so badly. I personally would take the year - not because your LO wont be just fine and dandy if you go back to work (because he will) but because you want to so, so much (I can totally tell from your previous posts and this one) - and I don't blame you. If my hubby could pay the bills and feed us for a year without my income, there is no question I'd take the year off - bigger car be damned. </p> <p>Answer something for me - what is the professional certifications situation? What is is you do? What kind of damage would a year off do you to career wise? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-wish-i-could-just-decide#post-767957 Wed, 08 May 2013 14:01:57 +0000 lomom 767957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really struggling. I want so badly to make a decision and be done so that I can enjoy maternity leave. </p> <p>DH would let me stay home a year but strongly prefers I go back to work. His argument is that continuing to work allows me to continue funding my retirement account (including employer match), gives us extra spending money, would allow us to buy a larger vehicle, would allow us to start a 529, would allow me to maintain my professional certifications, etc. </p> <p>I'm just scared of leaving LO. My world revolves around him and I feel like I'd be selfish to give up a year with him in order to have a new car, extra play money, a fatter 401k, etc. </p> <p>How do I get past the guilt? Either way I feel like I lose. If I go back, I lose time with LO I can never get back. If I stay home, DH has all the pressure on him to support our family, plus the financial ramifications. DH was more than willing to support me taking a reduced schedule to work 28 hours a week and I feel like I should honor our compromise and feel like I have the best of both worlds but I'm just feeling awful all the way around. </p>