https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 07:05:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1992655 Sat, 20 Dec 2014 01:00:28 +0000 anonysquire 1992655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Idk. Last time a friend told me her secret, I mentioned it to my husband and he was so rude and judgy. Even though his mom has done the same thing. So from now on I'll keep it from him unless he needs to know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1992602 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 22:52:30 +0000 pui 1992602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to say that anything you tell me, I also tell DH, but actually recently I have actually not told my husband things that my SIL asked me not to tell him. They were pretty small things though.</p> <p>If it was something I really thought DH should know, I would tell him, regardless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1992600 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 22:48:56 +0000 Iced Tea 1992600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really surprised. I thought people mostly kept secrets to themselves. I don't think friend+spouse=one person, so I never would've assumed a confidence to a friend would reach the spouse. </p> <p>I occasionally share secrets with my husband, but only if he doesn't know the person. If he knows them, it feels like a violation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1989871 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 11:42:12 +0000 namaste 1989871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely never tell him unless the person asks for his perspective for advice. He never tells me his friend's secrets and I never ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1989152 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 20:52:10 +0000 simplyfelicity 1989152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's a secret, then I won't tell him. That's the point of a secret, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1989040 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:12:20 +0000 stiletto_mom 1989040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always tell my SO. I assume most people will. So if I don't want other people's SO's knowing, I don't share. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988977 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:14:35 +0000 jedeve 1988977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always tell and would never ask someone to keep a secret from their SO for me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988970 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:11:37 +0000 littlejoy 1988970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anandam: Ha! Hooray for your friend! My friend pooped her pants, and I didn't feel like I needed to tell my husband about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988959 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:59:57 +0000 anandam 1988959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't think of a time this has ever happened. People usually say, "Of course you can tell DH, but this is something sensitive so please don't discuss it with anyone else"</p> <p>Sometimes there are things that would be awkward for him to know (like a friend of mine who finally had her first orgasm) that I don't mention, but I'd be wary of what was coming if someone specifically wanted me to keep something from him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988650 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:09:27 +0000 Vegmama 1988650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell my SO almost everything. </p> <p>An example of a surprise I wouldn't tell: Recently a close friend of ours told me she was pregnant, but asked me to keep it from my DH, because they wanted to tell him in person. Obviously, I would keep that a secret.</p> <p>Otherwise, I usually tell him everything. If it's something that would embarrass my friend, of course I don't mention it. It's all relative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988590 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 13:46:48 +0000 .twist. 1988590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most of the time my husband doesn't care about the secrets my friends keep. If I'm specifically asked to not say anything, I won't. Although... if they don't tell me not to tell him, then sometimes I do. Although it really depends, again, he doesn't really care about their secrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988552 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 13:22:33 +0000 MenagerieMama 1988552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will usually tell my DH unless asked not to, or if I think it's a secret he'd have a hard time keeping! I always assume that when I'm telling someone a secret that I'm essentially telling their SO as well - and again, would request that they didn't if I felt that was important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988549 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 13:22:07 +0000 MaryM 1988549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the secret and whether or not he'd even care. If it's something that I think I will share with him, I'll usually tell the friend "You know I'll tell DH this, right?" when they ask me to keep it a secret. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988544 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 13:20:49 +0000 Mrs.KMM 1988544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I assume people will tell their spouse, unless I specifically ask them not to. And I behave the same. I will often tell DH unless they specifically ask me not to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988218 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 10:40:41 +0000 fairy 1988218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kindof depends on the person/secret. I usually tell my husband everything, unless it is something deeply personal or they ask me not to tell specifically. But this hasn't come up too much other than when friends/family are pregnant and haven't announced yet - I told my husband but I know he isn't going to blab. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988215 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 10:39:47 +0000 Orchid 1988215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ummm I tell my husband, unless i just forget or it just happens not to come up. If someone says, "I want you to keep this from your husband..." I advise them not to tell me. My husband is my best friend and I gab about everything with him. Personally I wouldn't ask a married person to keep something secret from their spouse. There's something about it, that I can't seem to articulate, that's weird about that to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988079 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:51:12 +0000 LuLu Mom 1988079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell my husband and my friends know that most likely I will tell him unless it's something that they specifically tell me not too, and in that situation I get very uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1988038 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:39:17 +0000 blackbird 1988038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No and no. Frankly, I think it's kind of an asshole thing to not keep a friend's secret. I don't think spouses are a package deal, and I've had friends blab to their husbands (and moms), and i find it disrespectful, especially when i ask them to not share </p> <p>Looks like I'm odd man out. I want friends who respect my privacy, not blab to their husbands about every little thing ;) Lord knows they don't give a shit anyways </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987999 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:14:02 +0000 edelweiss 1987999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i tell my spouse. however if someone specifically asked me not to tell him, i wouldn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987974 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 08:57:19 +0000 bpcmarj 1987974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I assume most people tell their spouses. There have been times that friends have said "Don't tell anyone, not even DH" and I will typically follow their wishes in that instance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987934 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 08:32:39 +0000 JerricaBenton 1987934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell my dh. I've never been in a situation where a friend tells me some kind of devastating secret and asks me not to tel him though, so I'd most likely keep the secret in that case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987888 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:41:10 +0000 irene 1987888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they specifically ask me not to tell SO of course I don't tell. If they didn't specify, I will not tell, but there is a possibility that I may tell. It highly depends on who the friend is and what incident it is. If my friend doesn't even know my husband and they have no common friends whatsoever, and this "secret" will in no way circle back to my friend's circle, then I may tell the husband. Again, depending on the friend and the secret.</p> <p>Actually coming to think about it, I would ask my friend if I can tell my husband if I know it would be very hard for me to keep it away from him lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987887 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:40:19 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1987887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't get told enough secrets to have a policy on this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987885 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:36:11 +0000 Mrs. Garland 1987885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably, yes, unless they specifically ask me not to. And I assume anything I tell my friends will be told to their SO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987871 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:22:33 +0000 travellingbee 1987871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes I usually do. No one's ever asked me not to, but I would not if they did. I assume others do too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987870 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:20:16 +0000 mrsjyw 1987870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes I share, sometimes I don't. Dh doesn't need or want to know every detail my friends share w me! If I'm asked not to, I wont. I've never been asked this though I don't think? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987868 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:18:41 +0000 looch 1987868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn't share it with my husband, especially if it doesn't impact him at all. Why would he care if my friend from high school that he never met is having an affair, for example? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987859 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:02:02 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1987859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless specifically requested, I will likely share it with my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987857 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 06:50:54 +0000 BananaPancakes 1987857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they specifically ask me not to tell him, then I wouldn't. But if they don't mention it, I'll share just with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-a-friend-asks-you-to-keep-something-a-secret#post-1987849 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 06:07:31 +0000 catomd00 1987849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! I don't share anything overly personal from my friends regardless if they ask me not to or not. I figure if my friends wanted my DH to know they would tell him or talk about it when we are all together. Not everything needs to be shared with your spouse. This is why my husband and I do not look at each others texts or emails. We don't need to know what our friends are sharing with the other in private conversation. </p>