https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 13:41:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth/page/2#post-1923274 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 19:07:29 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 1923274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I could, I wouldn't even be in the room! haha, seriously my dh is the only one allowed, I am super private about somethings and labor will be one of them. I am a nurse so I totally get the need and desire to learn and get experience but it is just not something I would want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth/page/2#post-1921004 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:44:48 +0000 snowjewelz 1921004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'd have to very respectfully decline! Totally understand her request, and I'm sure there are women out there who'd be okay with it so it just really depends on your comfort level! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth/page/2#post-1920967 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:22:54 +0000 mamimami 1920967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>IF you are inclined to say yes, one thing you could do would be to say something like, "I am open to this, but on the condition that you understand that if at some moment I DON'T want you there, you will leave, no hard feelings. No guarantees, but come by and we'll see." You may be OK with it now, but not in the moment (or vice versa!!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth/page/2#post-1920940 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:03:38 +0000 Smurfette 1920940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hell to the no </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth/page/2#post-1920872 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 10:27:21 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1920872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tororojo: My immediate reaction was no way...but the more I think about it, I'm not sure!</p> <p>I had two students ask permission to view my birth, and while they didn't get to see it (emergency C-section), I liked having them in the room. One held a leg and the other massaged my feet for me! I told her she could stay as long as she wanted! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920871 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 10:26:33 +0000 IRunForFun 1920871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm. That's awkward! She may have been given the task of finding births to observe as part of her training, so I guess it's not that weird that she asked, but the way she went about it seems strange! I might have been more inclined to say yes if she'd taken the time to explain exactly why she wanted to observe and what her objective was? Like if she went into detail about her training program...maybe during the next week you could tell her you'd like some more info about her training and you could chat and see how comfortable you feel with her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920867 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 10:25:18 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1920867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I think it would be better if she learned by attending births of people she didn't know. It would be so awkward for me to allow it and then see her every week at church. </p> <p>Slightly related - one of my good friends loves photography and is very good. She has offered to take birth photos for us, but I don't know if I can handle it. I don't mind a birth photographer if it was someone who wasn't my very close friend, but for some reason I think it's weird to only allow my husband, my mom, and then this one friend in the room taking pictures. Would my MIL be offended? My SIL? I don't know... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920818 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 09:55:32 +0000 mrsjyw 1920818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hell no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920817 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 09:54:59 +0000 Ajsmommy 1920817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, just my dh, THANKS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920735 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 09:17:30 +0000 Mrs.KMM 1920735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My gut reaction from your title was going to be no but reading that she is studying to be a midwife sways me over to a yes so long as you are comfortable with having her there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920604 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 08:37:19 +0000 erwoo 1920604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I wouldn't want anyone in my pictures that wasn't family... If you decide, make sure you set some rules. Like stay put and don't be in anyone's way, especially loved ones, doctors, nurses, or even a photographer if you decide to have one. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920582 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 08:31:48 +0000 Little Misters Mom 1920582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably say no. I would feel far more inhibited and uncomfortable with a casual acquaintance in that room than a bunch of strangers. I really think there is a huge effect on labor when the mother feels even slightly uncomfortable and I'd only want people who were of actual support and comfort to me in the room. I know it's a little awkward to say "we're really trying to limit this to a few people in the room as possible" now, but it'll be a million times easier than when you are in labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920581 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 08:31:13 +0000 swurlygurl 1920581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I could get over the 'seeing the lady bits' part, I'd be fine with it. I actually had fun labors, and almost wish there were more people around! But, there's no way I could get over the nakedness part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920569 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 08:27:35 +0000 PrincessBaby 1920569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that would just be a distraction that you don't need. I would just want to focus on the experience and not have to be mindful of someone I didn't know very well.</p> <p>That is so super weird someone asked that! I have no idea what medical training is involved in midwifery, but it seems like she should get that experience as part of her formal training? The same way that every MD did OB rotations? </p> <p>Super awkward and super weird! You are a very nice person to even entertain the idea:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920513 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:57:46 +0000 loki 1920513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i wouldn't... i don't even want my parents or in laws in the waiting room! so i think they'd be pretty offended if i let a random from church haha. i think she'll have plenty of opportunities to observe births through her schooling, no? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920507 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:52:03 +0000 MapleMoose 1920507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No thank you. That's a private moment shared with my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920502 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:46:24 +0000 lawbee11 1920502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No no no. I find it odd that she even asked that. If she's studying to be a midwife seems like they'd have some contacts for her that would have agreed to it ahead of time. That's just weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920484 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:34:53 +0000 blackbird 1920484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she's studying to be a midwife, hasn't she seen lots of births in a teaching hospital setting already? Students observe all the time! I would be OK with it if my dr was like "hey this student is observing, is that ok?" But I wouldn't want it to be someone I know in the real world! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920481 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:33:18 +0000 JoJoGirl 1920481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My reaction would be "LOL WTF NO". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920476 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:28:12 +0000 Grace 1920476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no, simply because I don't want to have to worry about telling her I'm in labour or to come because pushing has started. If she was attached to the hospital and the nurses/doctors had "responsibility" for her, I wouldn't mind, but I don't need "guests" at my labour. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920401 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 05:37:18 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 1920401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no because you don't know how you'll feel in the moment and I wouldn't want to have to worry about that. I didn't even want anyone at the hospital except my husband which was really better for everyone since we were there two days before the little one was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920385 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 02:21:52 +0000 lamariniere 1920385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no, but not on the grounds of being modest. I don't really care who is seeing my lady bits in a medical setting. For me, childbirth was such an emotional experience that I wouldn't want someone I didn't know intruding on that aspect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920384 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 02:08:35 +0000 Kemma 1920384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: interesting, in New Zealand trainee midwives are placed with a registered midwife rather than having to "source" their own births to observe. Having said that I know one acquaintance who was training to be a childbirth educator and she was responsible for finding three births to observe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920381 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 01:58:21 +0000 Arden 1920381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: @Kemma: A lot of midwife training programs ask that a potential midwife attend 10 or more births as an observer only before beginning, just to get a feel for birth and make sure it's a career they want. I'm guessing that's why she wants to attend.</p> <p>I still wouldn't let someone I wasn't close with attend my birth though, personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920380 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 01:14:50 +0000 Kemma 1920380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tororojo: can you find out more about where your birth would fit in her training? Does she have objectives to meet etc? My feelings would probably differ depending on her reasons for attending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920361 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 23:40:01 +0000 youboots 1920361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems like she should be able to get expirence thru her training program. I vote no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920350 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 23:25:03 +0000 tororojo 1920350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: weird that 3 of us have been asked this at church! I think asking to be someone's doula sounds extra awkward but maybe she was just trying to be nice? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920338 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:54:52 +0000 coopsmama 1920338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not! I can't imagine having anyone other than my care providers and my husband in the room for that moment. </p> <p>I actually had a girl from my church ask if she could be my doula (she's a midwife...CPM) for my second baby and I decided I didn't need a doula after a bad first experience with one. I told her I'd see what my husband thought and never got back to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920328 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:43:23 +0000 tororojo 1920328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. D: you didn't let him watch?! DH totally held my leg and saw everything, he said it was fascinating. I imagine horrifying as well but whatever... ;)</p> <p>@Corduroy: I felt the same way about family members! My thought is that if I let her come watch I can just ignore her, whereas I'd have to be nice to MIL or someone like that. And kick her out when the cord is cut maybe? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-an-acquaintance-asked-to-observe-you-giving-birth#post-1920324 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:40:43 +0000 Arden 1920324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ha no, I wouldn't let anyone be there unless they were close to me and I felt comfortable with them. </p>