Hellobee Boards Topic: If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?

Hellobee Boards Topic: If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 01:51:30 +0000 Mrs. Jacks on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556250 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:50:39 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 556250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Honeybee: I don't really know since I wasn't told until after she died, and even now if I bring it up people are all hush hush about it. It was so puzzling to me. Like why would it be this big secret? I mean, my family went so far as to let me give her health history as my own! Honeybee on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556197 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:33:51 +0000 Honeybee 556197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Jacks: Wow, that story is crazy! Did your grwat aunt ever go on to find her biological family? This is just another level of unbelievable connections between us, my friend. :) I love that Maisie grew in the Ergo. It's kind of a modern day stork story! MrsTiz on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556173 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:24:43 +0000 MrsTiz 556173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My aunt had a baby when she was 15, my grandma (her mom) raised the baby as if it were hers so my aunt wouldn't be judged. Everyone knew except the baby. He found out when he was 15 and hated everyone for it. His "sister" was actually his mom, his "mom" was his grandma, his nieces and nephews were his cousins, etc. tequiero21 on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556167 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:22:30 +0000 tequiero21 556167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: omg that's the worst! when everyone knows but you! sera_87 on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556165 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:21:35 +0000 sera_87 556165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My sister and I were adopted as well as 2 cousin (siblings). We were all told from the get-go, I don't remember a time when I didn't know it. ETA: 2 of DH's siblings are also adopted & told right away. But they were Reserve babies so there's really no hiding that. Mrs. Polish on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556163 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:21:19 +0000 Mrs. Polish 556163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Jacks: I can't read it without crying! Mrs. Jacks on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556157 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:19:08 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 556157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Polish: we have that one! Lala loves Barley :) Mrs. Jacks on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556155 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:18:19 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 556155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Honeybee: Um are you absolutely sure we're not related? My grandma's bio sister died and shortly thereafter my great aunt (in the early 1920's) was found abandoned in an apartment that was on fire. The family brought the baby home. None of us knew she was adopted until the family was going through documents in her 60's (and I didn't know until after she died). And to think that I was giving her very wacky health history as part of my health history my whole life! It was quite a shocker. My sister's daughter has known her whole life and our daughter, while too young to understand, hears about her adoption story all the time. Lala's concept of it is that Lala grew in Mana's tummy and Maisie grew in Ergobaby. Makes perfect sense! MrsH on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556139 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:11:29 +0000 MrsH 556139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My grandmother was never told - she found the papers and never told her parents she knew. Mrs. Polish on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-556110 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 08:53:02 +0000 Mrs. Polish 556110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: My brothers have always known. My parents have great books that they all read together about adoption (Marianne Richmond has a great one called "I Wished For You". I have purchased a few books and plan to read them to our LO. We've decided to always be open about it, but it will also be obvious because we aren't going to look alike. Mrs. Champagne on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-421872 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 14:10:13 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 421872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My cousins are both adopted, and they've known since forever. They came home at 2 days old and 1 day old, and they have always had books, etc about it. Never a secret! They each even have a picture of their birth mom in a small frame in their rooms. They've never met or spoken, and all letters go through the lawyer, but once my cousins turn 18 they can choose to meet their moms if they want. My Great uncle is 80+ and he didn't find out until he was in his twenties and went to join the army, and they told him his original birth name. He was adopted by his aunt and uncle. mrs. wagon on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-421762 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 13:36:24 +0000 mrs. wagon 421762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: haha. I was about to write about the same situation. ;) Honeybee on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-421758 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 13:33:15 +0000 Honeybee 421758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We found out that my grandpa's sister adopted out a baby back in the 20's. My great aunt (the adopted baby) hadn't found out she was adopted until her parents passed away (she was in her 60's), and then it took her well over a decade to track down her bio mom's family. At that point, only my grandpa was left, so we're all the bio family she ever known. I think it used to be really taboo to discuss adoption (and still is in some places/cultures) but it's becoming more common to talk about from an early age. ValentineMommy on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-421054 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 08:46:05 +0000 ValentineMommy 421054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was adopted (and so was my brother, from another family). We have both always known. I don't remember being told, or having it explained to me, but I do know I was VERY young. It was part of "my story". Also, my birthmom died when I was 4. My parents were informed and told me when that happened. It was always an open topic. I DO remember that the adoption story led into the "how babies are made" talk. Somehow I found that more traumatizing. Lol Meridian on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420690 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:53:20 +0000 Meridian 420690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: it was (and still is) a touchy subject for them, especially my mom. mrbee on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420681 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:48:05 +0000 mrbee 420681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @sweetchic: Wow why didn't they tell her? Meridian on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420672 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:45:11 +0000 Meridian 420672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was adopted when I was 4 so I've always known. Actually, my dad and my biological dad were cousins (but my bio dad passed away when I was 1 yrs old) and the families are neighbors in Taiwan! My little sister (11 yrs younger) didn't know we weren't biological sisters until she was 13 when I told her. But my parents didn't know that she knew until she was probably 18 or 19, and they were shocked she knew! Mrs. Cowgirl on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420619 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:24:26 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 420619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @TurtleDoves: that's so cute! i love the way kids think :) CupQuakeWalk on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420616 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:23:38 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 420616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: lol! That is so cute that he would think that! I am not my dad's biological daughter (he's my step-dad). And a few years ago, my little brother (who is his biological son) asked me if my biological dad was his step-dad! He figured...everyone has a real dad and a step-dad! Where was his step-dad? Mrs. Cowgirl on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420601 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:18:25 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 420601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: yep, we talk about how he grew in his birth mommy's tummy, but it's still fuzzy to him ;) my friend just gave birth, and he was a little puzzled about the baby in her tummy, but was kinda just like, "oh, cool." ;) ladyfingers on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420596 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:16:22 +0000 ladyfingers 420596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've always known. My mom had me draw pictures of my family and my other family. I don't think they ever had a big reveal, just made it part of my story all along. Mrs. Pen on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420593 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:14:51 +0000 Mrs. Pen 420593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: aww that's so cute!! what a doll... have you tried explaining to him how babies grow in their mommies tummies? I suppose that might be a little over his head, but he seriously sounds so smart! Mrs. Cowgirl on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420575 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:09:40 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 420575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: well, her parents are first generation korean, and in korea it is *just* starting to become acceptable to adopt. korea has a long (sad) history of secret adoptions because it was considered shameful to adopt because there is a HUGE stress on bloodlines and family registers. it's all very sad. :( mrbee on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420573 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:08:46 +0000 mrbee 420573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: Aww... wow, I guess it makes sense that he would think that! Mrs. Cowgirl on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420569 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:07:56 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 420569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: awww, thanks! he loves to talk about his story and about the big blue airplane that brought us home. i think it'll be interesting to see how he starts to process it as he gets older, because he just takes it at face value since he doesn't know anything else. in fact, the other day, he asked when i was adopted from korea! Mrs. Pen on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420568 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:07:50 +0000 Mrs. Pen 420568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: omg how do you keep a secret like that?! and WHY?! Everyone I know who was adopted knew their whole life, it was something they were always open about and talked about. I would do the same for sure. Mrs. Train on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420565 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:06:19 +0000 Mrs. Train 420565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My son is four. He was adopted at birth and we have never hid it from him. He has a special adoption book plus his normal baby book so we look at it and talk about it. He still doesn't really get it but he knows he wasn't in mommy's tummy mrbee on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420563 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:05:37 +0000 mrbee 420563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Cowgirl: Amazing... I guess things were handled differently back then! I love reading about your son btw... he's so funny! And your posts about his adoption are just so beautiful. CupQuakeWalk on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420557 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:03:51 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 420557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My very best friend is adopted and knows she was adopted but none of her siblings do! Basically, she was adopted by her parents at only a few months old. They let her know she was adopted at a very young age (not sure when, exactly). Her parents kept trying to conceive a biological child and when my friend was 11, she got a baby sister! And then a brother. Now her siblings are 13 & 12 and of course they think their sister is their blood sister. Right now I think they are too young to know...but the weird thing is...they NEVER plan on telling them. EVER. Mrs. Cowgirl on "If someone in your family was adopted, when were they told?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-in-your-family-was-adopted-when-were-they-told#post-420556 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:02:46 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 420556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: oh, haha! i've never met my friend's cousin, but when we were going through our adoption, my friend was sharing that story with me and about how weird and awkward it was that *everyone* else in the family knew, but she didn't!