https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 08:41:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline/page/2#post-2565846 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 06:35:52 +0000 yellowbird 2565846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably be in total shock first. When I regained my composure I would let that person know that we do not discipline that way and talk to them at length. Not cool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2565839 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 05:37:02 +0000 ElbieKay 2565839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: I am curious why you wouldn't want your child to hear you speak to the adult? I think I would be ok with my son hearing me speak up to someone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2565838 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 05:35:22 +0000 ElbieKay 2565838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: If someone did that to my kid and then asked to be the one to comfort my sobbing child, I am pretty sure I would tell the adult to fuck off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2565058 Fri, 10 Jun 2016 09:23:02 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2565058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: I have no idea! It's so frustrating though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564893 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 21:09:36 +0000 Boogs 2564893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: We have had a similar situation, what is it with grown people who think it's okay to play like that?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564551 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 15:00:41 +0000 caterw 2564551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be absolutely FURIOUS and would certainly leave right then after saying something. I would also end or limit my interactions with the person. I think that parents do have the right to use limited, age appropriate corporal punishment with their own children, but should NEVER presume to discipline someone else's child in that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564547 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 14:51:21 +0000 babynumber1 2564547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I could easily see my BIL doing this. I would look over and shake my head while making a dispproving sound to get my point across. I would address the issue with my child and then reinforce with him later. We have had to do this before with him correcting her behavior and not even giving us 2 seconds to do it.</p> <p>ETA: I don't spank our children, my husband has on a very rare occasion, so it would not be our go to form of discipline (and to get him to that point was a small miracle). I do occasionally pop on the hand for certain instances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564544 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 14:48:48 +0000 MoonMoon 2564544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My reaction would be to get very upset. I try very hard to place consistent boundaries on my 3 year old and if he threw a toy I'd take him aside, talk to him, get him to apologize etc. Your cousin's quick reaction wouldn't allow for any of that, plus it would be traumatizing for my kid, plus it's counterproductive (hello, violence to address violence? The whole law &amp; order mindset is so backwards...)</p> <p> In my fantasy I'd tell him to take his vengeful Christian patriarchy and shove it, but in reality I'd firmly tell him to never touch my child again, and I think DH would follow up similarly. I'm mad just reading about it :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564530 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 14:36:25 +0000 mediagirl 2564530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My initial reaction would have been, "Don't hit my kid!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564495 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 13:43:08 +0000 Peasinapod 2564495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know what I would do in the moment. I am a very reserved person and in normal circumstances ignore things that bother me in order to avoid a scene. I am also ridiculously over protective of my daughter to the point that I can not picture anyone hitting her. After the incident though I would never visit with that cousin again. You can't even trust the 'not leave them alone' since you were there and he was hit... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564492 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 13:39:34 +0000 catomd00 2564492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would lose my damn mind at them once I got them alone. In front of my child I would tell them never to touch my child again. I would probably choose to not be around them any more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564487 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 13:30:41 +0000 gingerbebe 2564487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would immediately have a conversation with both the cousin and her husband with your husband and say that how your son acted today was regrettable and that you will work on his behavior in the future and that you understand that the cousin's husband was acting to protect his daughter as well as correct bad toddler behavior, BUT as far as it concerns your son it's not his place to lay hands on your child. Period.</p> <p>Then I would talk to your son. I would discipline him the way your family chooses to do so but then also explain that people discipline differently in other families and that you have talked to that cousin in law to never hit him again and that you're sorry he had to go through that. </p> <p>I think for us, physical discipline just wouldn't work for my son and his personality, beyond our personal beliefs on it, so I would explain that as well to the cousin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564463 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:59:28 +0000 magnoliamama42 2564463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm assuming that since you're asking this question, you don't currently or intend to use physical discipline for your child.</p> <p>Even if it was a "soft" slap, the issue needs to be addressed, because it will come up again as your son gets older and the small hand swat will inevitably turn into a big leg swat.</p> <p>I would remove the child from the situation, and then privately tell your cousin that you and your husband have decided you want to try disciplining your son without using physical discipline. Make sure he understands you're not telling him he's a bad dad, but that this is something y'all are trying out and you'd prefer it if he left the disciplining up to you or your husband.</p> <p>If he acts defensive or hints that he knows better than you what's best for your son, then I would be VERY hesitant about leaving him alone with your son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564460 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:56:47 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2564460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had/have this issue with my FIL, but it's a little different. He "playfully" slaps LO1 in the hand. Every time it happens, LO1 pulls his hand back and says, "Pop-pop, we don't hit." If I catch my FIL doing it, I immediately say the same thing, and my MIL will back me up and separately tell him that he's learning to hit others from my FIL playfully smacking him. It's taken a while, but he's finally stopped doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564459 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:55:49 +0000 Boogs 2564459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: So many boundaries. Even if I did hit my kid, that doesn't give others the right to do it. But we don't and that is verrrry clear with those around us. I don't even like when people play around like that, I've had to address that before.</p> <p>@Mrs. Pickle: I agree, I would be out of there so fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564455 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:51:31 +0000 Eko 2564455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: I had the same reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564449 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:45:28 +0000 Anagram 2564449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it depends on how hard this was. In my mind, I'm picturing a slap on the hand--which I totally wouldn't like, but I would probably "let go", ie. seethe inside, and dislike that cousin forever more and never let our kids play together again.</p> <p>So yeah, addressing it is probably healthier. Or rather, your DH addressing it. It's his cousin, right? What did he say about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564446 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:44:43 +0000 SweetiePie 2564446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't know. I wouldn't like it, and like @Pumpkin Pie: said, my reaction would probably depend on how hard and the message with it. And who it was. If it was sort of a tap and admonishment I might just say "oh we've never done that before. How about you give me a chance to address the situation next time?" Since its family I wouldn't want to create a lot of drama.<br /> If it was a friend or something I might be more upset because I DEFINITELY would be mad if a non family member laid a hand on my kid.<br /> And I'm just being honest, and I think this would be true for most whether they admit it or not, if it was my mom vs my MIL my reaction would probably be different. </p> <p>I'm not saying it's ok to do, but I think my reaction would match the situation. May not be popular opinion around here, but tap on the hand vs winding up and slapping his hand vs putting him over his knee and spanking are different to me. If someone wound up and slapped or spanked my kid, no matter who they were, in front of me or not, THAT would make me livid and there would be consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564444 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:43:56 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2564444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would make it clear that they are to never lay a hand on my child ever again. I would discipline my child myself and would probably leave. I have no problems with another adult correcting my daughter, but I draw the line at hitting of any sort. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.</p> <p>Have you spoken to the cousin? Even though the situation is over I probably would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564442 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:42:43 +0000 ShootingStar 2564442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take him aside and tell him that under no circumstances is he ever to lay a hand on my child again, and that he needed to apologize to my son because we do not teach that hands are for hitting. If he didn't like it, he could leave. </p> <p>I am VERY anti-hitting. I am also extremely against someone else disciplining my child when I'm right there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564441 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:42:09 +0000 pwnstar 2564441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My immediate reaction: OHHAILSNAW. That is so far out of line and crosses so many boundaries. And I totally agree with @Truth Bombs: @Boogs: I would address the situation immediately and my child would never be alone with that person again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564440 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:42:04 +0000 Cherrybee 2564440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have punched him square in the face, then reiterated to LO that we do not hit!! :silly: In all seriousness, I would have wanted to. How DARE he hit my child. I would have let him have it, but not in front of the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564436 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:38:26 +0000 Foodnerd81 2564436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really know what "popped in the hand" means, so my answer depends on that @Mrs. Sketchbook:<br /> But unless it was severe I would probably just remove my kid from the situation. It sounds like it was bad enough to upset your LO though so I don't really know. I would probably separately talk to LO about how hitting isn't ok, and later tell the cousin that we don't hit, we do time outs. But if it was a swat I might just let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564430 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:34:45 +0000 Adira 2564430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, I've swatted a kid's hand away before if they were being too grabby or in my face (or in a newborn's face), but it's more of a gentle redirection to move their hands. So it would depend on how hard it was as well as the intent behind it.</p> <p>I'd address whoever did it and make it clear we don't use physical discipline with our child and that we do timeouts for hitting. And I'd also talk to my child about how it's not okay for someone to hit them and that I was sorry it happened (assuming I couldn't get the person who did it to apologize). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564429 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:34:03 +0000 looch 2564429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: same for me. I know I would just be so stunned and silent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564427 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:31:43 +0000 Boogs 2564427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There would be words and they would definitely never be left alone with my child in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564426 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:31:37 +0000 coopsmama 2564426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would immediately address it with the adult. Totally not cool. Regardless of what anyone thinks of that form of discipline, it is not his position or place to discipline your child and certainly not his place with you right there. That would make me so angry! I would honestly probably even address it even now - "you know that time that you did this? That's not cool with me. I will parent my own child, thankyouverymuch." :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564425 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:31:25 +0000 Cole 2564425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish the answer was that I would immediately react and strongly but I think I would be so shocked that we would just quickly leave and I would have to say something later. I would wind up avoiding the person at all costs and they would never ever be allowed alone with my kid, or honestly even in hitting distance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564423 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:30:10 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 2564423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd have been LIVID and told him that was entirely unacceptable that it is never okay to hit/swat/spank another human (unless in self-defense or some sort of emergency), let alone someone else's child. I'm angry for you. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-someone-popped-your-kid-on-the-hand-as-a-form-of-discipline#post-2564421 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:28:31 +0000 Madison43 2564421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There would be hell to pay. For real. </p>