https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:57:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-things-went-wrong-with-your-ils-with-1#post-1536941 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 13:10:57 +0000 skipra 1536941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our problem was that the IL's expected us to do all the visiting (and often) after LO 1 because MIL doesn't like to drive on the highway. FIL can't drive due to previous injuries so it's up to her. SIL drove them to us a couple times but she is just really mean to me so it's not an option because I don't want her in my house until she can be respectful. Things seem to get worse and worse with the IL's because they just don't make any effort whatsoever. There were two occasions that MIL was supposed to come out to see us by train (we were on the same train line but our stop was not handicap accessible so FIL was going to stay home) and she just didn't show up. Never called or explained what happened. That was kind of the last straw for us. Now we will invite them and if they show up, great, but I doubt that will happen. We are totally leaving it up to them to make some effort. We'll probably visit them for certain holidays and that's it. I feel really bad for DH but you can't force people to care and I'm not going to rush to make a 3-hour round trip drive with two LOs screaming the entire way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-things-went-wrong-with-your-ils-with-1#post-1536887 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 13:01:23 +0000 Beebug 1536887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: That would probably be a good step 1 for us. I just don't see it happening. I have said to DH a group (he, me, MIL, FIL) on skype could be good, but I am trying not to push. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-things-went-wrong-with-your-ils-with-1#post-1536836 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:50:37 +0000 autumnlove 1536836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a big talk and I chilled out a lot. I had to learn to just let certain things go...it was hard but our relationship is a lot better now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-things-went-wrong-with-your-ils-with-1#post-1536811 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:45:24 +0000 Beebug 1536811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What did you do for #2?</p> <p>What do you hope to do for #2 (if #2 hasn't happened yet!)</p> <p>My MIL and I went from emailing/speaking/communicating 2-3x a week and being fairly close pre-LO to her visit here immediately after LO was born and now aside from the two Christmases that have passed and other absolutely obligatory communication we 17 months later still no longer speak or communicate.</p> <p>Some backstory: <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/christmas-plans-where-to-meet-in-the-middle-long" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/christmas-plans-where-to-meet-in-the-middle-long</a></p> <p>If it counts for anything she pulled this with her son #3 and his wife Sept 2012 as well.</p> <p>We are due with #2 in May, they are still halfway across the country. DH visited there over March Break, and it sort of came up, but nothing concrete or more than a sentence kinda thing.</p> <p>I struggle with my very strong personal grudge toward her now and the hurt it caused for DH and I, and our relationship. DH and I currently aren't in a great spot and the thought of one more thing to throw us over the edge in them arriving really scares the crap out of me. </p> <p>What would you be doing? What should I be doing? Ha!! </p>