https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:29:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-760432 Fri, 03 May 2013 18:00:44 +0000 futuremama 760432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm tired of people who got pregnant in 3 months with easy, healthy pregnancies telling me about random people the know who have taken longer than me to get pregnant. I realize that many people have gone through much more than we have, but that doesn't make our struggles any easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-760414 Fri, 03 May 2013 17:34:55 +0000 ineebee 760414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thereeldeal: Exactly! It's a plan that I feel good about, so no, I'm not stressed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-760144 Fri, 03 May 2013 14:48:50 +0000 TheReelDeal 760144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: Yes! To "don't stress about it". When I'm talking to my mom she says that. Like you I'm just casually doing the IF roll call of activities. Knowing what's going on with my body shouldn't count as "stressing". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759964 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:33:25 +0000 swedishfish 759964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: MILs can be so insensitive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759959 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:30:54 +0000 Mrs. Polish 759959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so tired of being told that since we've adopted that I'm probably already pregnant. It happens, but adoption does not change fertility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759942 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:25:13 +0000 spaniellove 759942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: She must have learned from my MIL...when we told her about needing IVF, she told me that not everyone has an easy road to parenthood. As an example she told us that my SIL had a "devastating loss" the first time she got pregnant. At the time we were fuming that at least she had a real baby, and I recently found out my MIL was referring to a chemical. Seriously?! I mean, yes a loss can be tough. But comparing your daughter's chemical (and then she goes on to have a healthy baby) to our being infertile and needing IVF?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759894 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:08:49 +0000 swedishfish 759894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL liked to remind me that her goddaughter had it worse than I did even though we both had to go through IVF. Her medical problems were different from my issues and my DH's issues. She wasn't able to get pregnant and ended up adopting but I still didn't want to hear about how someone else had it worse than me. We both had difficulties and obstacles to overcome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759882 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:06:18 +0000 swedishfish 759882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: maybe she thought she was being helpful? Emphasis on the word "thought" ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759847 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:58:40 +0000 Mrs.Someone 759847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: ack, did she have pregnancy induced amnesia or something?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759785 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:42:50 +0000 ineebee 759785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, and -- "Just don't stress about it." A friend who got pregnant through IVF actually said this to me. I was telling her about our plan in a very normal way, and she kept interjecting with "Don't worry!" "It'll be fine!" "Don't stress!" And I was like, "I'M NOT!!!!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759779 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:41:20 +0000 ineebee 759779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anything that begins with "Have you tried--" is always a bad question. A slight change in word order ("What have you tried?") and asking an open-ended question can make such a big difference! BIL (younger than us, unmarried) asked me if I've tried "this temperature thing" which seems to work for everyone he knows. I tried not to laugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759777 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:41:02 +0000 Mrs.Someone 759777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And this is why I only tell people who will be appropriately supportive :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759735 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:28:40 +0000 fairefaire 759735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG if anyone ever told me "maybe it wasn't meant to be", I'm pretty sure I'd slap them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759731 Fri, 03 May 2013 12:26:07 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 759731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so glad my PT is over. every time he would ask me if I was pregnant yet or how things were going. Then tell me how they had 2 MC &amp; it took them 3 years. So my 15 cycles isn't long at all. I get it, okay!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759648 Fri, 03 May 2013 11:50:57 +0000 MrsSCB 759648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't gone through IF myself, but I can definitely see why all three of those statements as well as the one you added above would drive anyone crazy. I really don't think people should offer any commentary on someone's IF struggle, other than something to the effect of, "I'm sorry you're going through this." I think when people hear about something as difficult as IF they struggle to find something to say to make it better, and end up saying something that is irritating and possibly even hurtful.</p> <p>ETA: And "maybe it wasn't meant to be" is just the worst. It's almost like the people who tell you a death was "God's plan." I don't find that kind of stuff comforting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-those-tired-and-wrong-cliches#post-759612 Fri, 03 May 2013 11:34:53 +0000 spaniellove 759612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I came across an article this morning about cliches people say about infertility: <a href="http://www.eggdonoronline.com/infertility/avoid-cliche-statements?utm_source=buffer&#038;utm_medium=twitter&#038;utm_campaign=Buffer:%2BLizImler%2Bon%2Btwitter&#038;buffer_share=03694" rel="nofollow">http://www.eggdonoronline.com/infertility/avoid-cliche-statements?utm_source=buffer&#038;utm_medium=twitter&#038;utm_campaign=Buffer:%2BLizImler%2Bon%2Btwitter&#038;buffer_share=03694</a></p> <p>What else are you tired of hearing? I'd have to add "you should go on vacation - I bet you'll come back pregnant"! If I go away it'll be to escape the misery of IF treatments! </p>