https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 16:06:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2845001 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 15:30:22 +0000 thepaperbutterfly 2845001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always wanted two. I was cleaning out old homework from when I was in highschool, and apparently I saw myself with two kids in the future XD My husband would be okay with 1 or 2. We have a 20 month old DD and I'm almost 7 months pregnant with a little boy. I am so done after this. </p> <p>People joke that I don't need to have anymore kids because I got the perfect set, but I wouldn't have had anymore kids even if the second was a girl. Pregnancy is really difficult for me due to chronic pain (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) and unstable joints. Also, our daycare bill for two little ones will be like $2600/month. I can't imagine what it would cost for three XD It would also be a lot harder to take trips to Japan (my husband's whole family lives there) just for financial reasons. Then there is college. . . . </p> <p>My godsister wanted 1 and her husband wanted 2. They have one kid and he got a vasectomy. My mom wanted 2 kids and my dad would have been okay with 0, 1, or 2. After 2 my mom made him get a vasectomy. My sister wants 2 or less. My husband has four siblings (very large for a Japanese family) but his eldest brother has 2 kids, and we are about to have two kids. His other 3 siblings may or may not have kids in the future, but birth rate in Japan is lower than it is here in the US. Seems like everyone around us has 2 kids or less. Nothing wrong with having a larger family, it just isn't for us. Everyone needs to do what works best for them :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844982 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 13:55:33 +0000 Umbreon 2844982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want three he wants two. I'm hoping he changes his mind but if not, I'll be happy with two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844966 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 12:53:27 +0000 WinterBee 2844966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before Kids I wanted 3-4, DH wanted 2-3. Now that we have one (and one on the way) we agree that we’ll see how we feel after this babe comes, but we think we’d both be ok with just 2 kids. Although, we’re not completely closing the door on #3 yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844952 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 12:33:45 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2844952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: we always were on about the same page but I think I would have been more upset if it didn't work out, mainly if we hadn't been able to give lo1 a sibling at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844940 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 12:02:31 +0000 hellobeeboston 2844940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: You are impressive. I think i would have a mental breakdown having a third.... between the older two and their busy schedules already with school and activities, working 40+ hours a week, and commuting 2.5-3 hours a day (my husband works even further), I also do occasional freelance projects, and oh yeah, we have a house to maintain! HA... it feels impossible to get through everything! we make it work, mainly by hiring a lot of help in various areas!! I also love my job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844939 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:58:45 +0000 Silva 2844939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I think for whatever socially constructed and/or biological reason, women sometimes feel a hormonal/emotional urge that men don't always experience in the same way. I HOPE that I feel done after this baby, because four seems like SO MANY SMALL PEOPLE. But I'm really unsure about whether or not my off switch is going to be there. My husband wants a bigger family, but he's pretty okay saying "we could be done now." If I"m in the right mood (or the wrong mood, depending on how you look at it)- the thought of this being the last one feels like I'm being split open from the inside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844936 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:52:43 +0000 LCTBQE 2844936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I always thought that it would be the case that all the women I knew would want more kids, mostly because so many of us kind of had to put a gun to our man-baby/boyfriend/husband's heads to get them on board for marriage. But after I read your post and thought about it, of the friends/siblings I know well enough to know this--only one couple the woman wants a kid and husband doesn't want them at all, but I know SIX couples where the husband is dying to be a father and the wife doesn't want kids, and one where the wife was done at 2 and the husband begged for a third. </p> <p>Personally I'm glad that my husband and I have been on the same page, even when we were toggling back and forth between wanting 2 and 3. Now that #2 is here we're pretty positive we're done :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids/page/2#post-2844926 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:28:39 +0000 Silva 2844926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As long as I can remember we've both wanted four but have been unsure about whether or not we can handle that. I'm pregnant with number 3, and we still are both pretty on the fence about a fourth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844922 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:24:34 +0000 Adira 2844922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before kids, we both wanted 2. After #1, he wanted to stop and I still wanted 2. After #2, he was 1000% done, and I wanted 3, haha.</p> <p>We're done at 2 (and now that they are both a little older, I think we're both happy with that). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844917 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:13:07 +0000 SupernovaJ 2844917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I work FT outside the home and my career is pretty demanding overall. However TTC #3 currently, I am looking into remote/telecommuting jobs because it'll be extremely challenging being out of the house 11+ hours a day with a newborn and two older ones. I've always worked in a field I loved and enjoy what I do but with a third those priorities would shift and I'd be fine with any (remote/flexible) job that has similar pay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844916 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:11:26 +0000 crazydoglady 2844916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted three and my husband wanted two. When we were going through trouble getting pregnant with 2, he could have stopped at 1 but I knew that wasn't right for me. While I see his logistical side of things and how 2 is much better suited for our personalities, I romanticize the idea of a third down the road but I also never want to TTC or be pregnant again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844912 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 11:00:27 +0000 Sams Mom 2844912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: I had to read your reply to my husband because when I read it last night I was like "O hell no!" outloud. :P It stresses me out just thinking about it happening to me, but I'm sure there is never a dull moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844910 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 10:57:57 +0000 birdofafeather 2844910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: :wink: :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844909 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 10:56:34 +0000 birdofafeather 2844909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we both come from families of 3 kids, so that was our number without really discussing it. there was a time of a few weeks/month last year where DH was super stressed with a new job and we weren't communicating well and he was saying he didn't think he could do 3 and i was devastated. i told him that i was disappointed but i wouldn't force him and i wanted to revisit it a few months later. but after he finished training, we got back to ourselves and our normal routine and he was all on board. and good thing because i got KU right away! 3 is our number and we're done! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844899 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 10:16:11 +0000 hellobeeboston 2844899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were pretty much on the same page with 2 kids, but my husband was wanting a third for a while, but knew practically it wouldn't make sense for us... I was always good with 2!</p> <p>I'd be curious to know if the women that wanted more stayed home, or worked full time?? I find that most of the women I personally know that want more kids, stay home, or work from home part time... that additional cost for daycare/nanny seems to prohibit many. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844896 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 10:12:19 +0000 Alba4 2844896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We both always wanted 2 and we have 2. If we have an unplanned third, we are also both on the same page of going with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844883 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 09:49:09 +0000 snowjewelz 2844883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same page more or less, but I def do 'want' it more than him. But I also know I ca handle 1 more if I really have to vs he knows his limits lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844855 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 08:47:00 +0000 jape14 2844855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've always agreed on number (and preferred age gaps) - definitely 2 and we'll see about a third. Now with a 4yo and 1yo, we are still in agreement that we will likely end up going for a third, but with a slightly larger age gap next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844851 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 08:20:20 +0000 SupernovaJ 2844851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always wanted three kids (I come from 3) and so has husband. But after having our first two, he now wants four. :shocked: As for me, I'm thinking one more and we're done simply due to logistics, we're both busy working, finances, etc. He is one of two kids and felt he always wanted a bigger family/more siblings growing up. But you're right, in my group of friends it seems the wife usually wants one more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844843 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:57:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2844843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH wanted more children than I did . Since parenting has very much fallen on me he has stopped bringing up expanding our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844836 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:50:11 +0000 Ms. RV 2844836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted a third (or fourth!) before we had our second, but OH was on the fence about #2. Now that #2 is here OH wants a third and I am totally done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844834 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:45:25 +0000 skinnycow 2844834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before we had DD we both wanted three children. Now I want three and DH only wants two. We'll likely stop at two unless he has a change of heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844831 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:36:02 +0000 Ajsmommy 2844831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always agreed that 2 was the number. We had DD easily and then we struggled to get a second BFP. We did fertility treatments and they didn't work. DH then began to be more one and done, but only bc of the difficulty, I couldn't give up the idea of two.... but finally I gave in and was happy with 1.... the next month we got BFP so we now have 2 and both agree (as always) that we are done. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844819 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 05:53:37 +0000 SweetiePie 2844819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before kids we agreed on 2.<br /> After DS1 I was one and done for a while (1.5 years) but DH always wanted a 2nd. I eventually came around (sort of) and we had DS2 7 months ago.<br /> After DS2 we are in full agreement we are done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844805 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 00:53:37 +0000 Calibee 2844805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We currently have two. I would like a third but my husband is not going for it. At all. I also have a strong gender preference and am not sure if I’m willing to roll the dice. We currently have one of each. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844796 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:49:10 +0000 coopsmama 2844796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband wanted to stick with 3 but I couldn't get a 4th out of my head so after much debate he agreed to a 4th. Anddddd it ended up being a twin pregnancy, so now we have 5. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844795 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:31:26 +0000 periwinklebee 2844795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband's motto about pretty much everything is "let's not create more work for ourselves" :silly: Which is very reasonable, as life can already be logistically challenging. I'm a little surprised given this that I convinced him to have kids at all, we'll see whether I can convince him to try for another... :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844790 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 19:58:46 +0000 Becky 2844790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH wanted 4. Just a lot in general. He’s one of 4 and there are lots of big families around here. I wanted 3, then for a long time was really overwhelmed with my 2. I could tell he was disappointed. I’ve come around to wanting 3 and barring any financial crises we’ll go for it. I know a few families in my parents and in laws generation who the dads would have had as many kids as possible but the Moms mixed it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844786 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 19:47:07 +0000 Mamatimes3 2844786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He wanted 4. I wanted 3. We have 3. </p> <p>If I were younger and money wasn’t a factor, I would go for the 4th. But realistically I’m almost 40, work full time, and 3 kids is enough. </p> <p>And my husband would have as many children as I said. He would have been ok with 2. I think his only issue would have been if I said none or 1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-amp-dh-didnt-agree-on-an-ideal-of-kids#post-2844782 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 19:27:28 +0000 pachamama 2844782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2 "possibly an oops 3" but after this pregnancy we decided absolutely 1000000% done with kids. Nice to be on the same page. 😀 </p>