https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 01:19:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535643 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 08:40:22 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2535643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use a bit of Spanish around the kids so they're comfortable hearing it, but not to teach them because I have hardly used my own Spanish in the almost 20 years since I left home.</p> <p>DH speaks Mandarin, but not to the kids. I'd like them to learn though </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535627 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 08:27:11 +0000 snowjewelz 2535627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me and my side of family speak Cantonese.<br /> DH's side is mainly Mandarin, and also a local dialect.</p> <p>I have no hope or expectation that DD will know that dialect, since she doesn't see his parents often, and even when she does, they will speak Mandarin to her. My mom spends more time w/ DD, and I try to speak to DD in both Cantonese &amp; English. </p> <p>So I think I'd expect DD to know Cantonese, but it will be hard for her to learn Mandarin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535570 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 07:04:09 +0000 hb3233 2535570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! @lamariniere: interesting article!</p> <p>And yes, definitely nothing wrong at all with only teaching your child one language. It's interesting to hear how people have had such different approaches based on what they are most comfortable with! . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535551 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 06:04:44 +0000 looch 2535551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not sure how to answer nor do I understand what the question really is, but English is my mother tongue, my husband's is Germam and English is his fourth language. I grew up with English as the main household language, but it is not my parents native language. </p> <p>My husband speaks to our so exclusively in German, I speak enough to be annoying and my son at age 5 is now showing am interest in learning more German so we go with it.</p> <p>All this to say, it's great if your child can have exposure to another language, but it's also fine if they don't. I know plenty of intelligent people that speak only English as well as closed minded polyglots. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535523 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 01:52:01 +0000 lamariniere 2535523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was an interesting article on young bilingual children.</p> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/13/opinion/sunday/the-superior-social-skills-of-bilinguals.html?_r=0" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/13/opinion/sunday/the-superior-social-skills-of-bilinguals.html?_r=0</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535516 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 23:54:21 +0000 lamariniere 2535516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are a bilingual household living in a country with a 3rd language. I speak English to the kids, my husband speaks French to them (he's a native speaker), we speak French to one another (my French is better than his English) and the local language is German. My kids are trilingual because they go to German-only daycare. I live in an expat community and probably 75% of people I know are in mixed nationality relationships. Here, it is extremely common for kids to be at least bilingual if not speak 3 or even 4 languages. </p> <p>When we hired a nanny for my daughter, we had her speak exclusively German to her. I would definitely do it again, it is such an easy way for kids to pick up language.</p> <p>Eta: neither my husband not I speak German. Well, DH has taken a lot of classes and speaks it at a very basic level and I only speak restaurant and grocery store German. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535472 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 21:18:33 +0000 yin 2535472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I speak broken Cantonese, and DH's level of Vietnamese isn't much better. We decided to teach the kids English and have no regrets. Initially I assumed that both sets of grandparents would step up and expose the kids to their respective languages. I was wrong. I also get a lot of grief from people that I wronged my children by not exposing them to a second language. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535459 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 21:05:40 +0000 sunny 2535459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who does the same as above! Mom exclusively speaks one language, Dad speaks a different language and the kids go to daycare where they speak English. The kids have no trouble knowing which to speak to various people.</p> <p>I don't know Cantonese well enough to pass it along and my husband wasn't too interested in passing along his language so our LOs will just speak English and whatever they learn in school. I'm hoping that we can all learn Spanish together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535456 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 20:56:04 +0000 PinkElephant 2535456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't my family, but I know a mom who speaks to her children in Spanish, the father speaks to them in German, and as a family together they all speak English. Their babysitter speaks English, and the kids attended school in (I think) English with Mandarin lessons. I was amazed less by their fluency in the languages (though it WAS amazing) and moreso at how adeptly the kid could identify what language someone else spoke and automatically know how to address them. So their method seemed to work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-partner-speak-different-foreign-languages#post-2535451 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 20:50:18 +0000 hb3233 2535451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a spin-off from another thread, where some people mentioned friends/family whose parents spoke different foreign languages and who hadn't learned either one and felt disappointed about it now. DH and I speak different foreign languages, and there's basically no hope of one of us learning the other one well because they are completely different (Asian versus Western). </p> <p>If you and your partner speak different languages from the main language in the country you're living in now, do your LO(s) speak (or understand) either or both languages? If so, how did you teach them - i.e. talking to them in that language, through their nanny/grandma-care or school, through foreign immersion? </p> <p>My understanding of the scientific evidence, though I haven't really looked into it in depth, is that it's best for a given person to always speak around the child in the same language. This obviously doesn't work so well if your partner can't understand that language. This makes me think nanny/nanny-share may be a more effective (but expensive!) way to transmit foreign language skills. </p>