Hellobee Boards Topic: If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"

Hellobee Boards Topic: If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?" https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 22:16:15 +0000 crazydoglady on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891992 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 20:03:42 +0000 crazydoglady 2891992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Iced Tea: Oh, wow. I'm so sorry you went through that, but I am glad it allowed flexibility in your life to go on an adventure. :happy: Iced Tea on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891990 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 19:40:42 +0000 Iced Tea 2891990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I initially thought 0-2. Definitely no more than that. We lived in an area with super high cost of living, so we delayed pregnancy until we'd been married 10 years, when it was beginning to feel like "now or never". After my first was born, I was so overcome with love, that I suddenly felt like I'd love to have four! We moved to a less expensive area and our business took off. Since we got pregnant easily, four seemed possible. My husband wasn't too sure, but said he'd do what I wanted. My second ended up being an unplanned c-section (just like the first), and everything changed. The doctors were shocked at all the damage to my body from the first c-section. My abdomen was full of scar tissue, stretched every which way, and organs were fused together. They couldn't separate my bladder and uterus (that explained why I had so much difficulty peeing while pregnant), so they cut through both to remove my baby. Due to all this damage (plus the associated risks of accreta and difficult delivery), I was advised not to carry another pregnancy. I was super bummed about this, but now I'm happy with our two kiddos. Since we are done with the baby stage earlier than planned, we have entered a year of travel and adventure, currently living in Asia. Traveling like this would be a lot harder (and more expensive) with more kids! skinnycow on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891986 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 18:29:54 +0000 skinnycow 2891986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No permanent decisions have been made but DH feels 100% done at two and I still have feelings of wanting a third sometimes. We’re probably done at two so he’ll “win.” Kaohinani on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891971 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 14:21:02 +0000 Kaohinani 2891971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I, initially, only wanted ONE .. My husband wanted THREE. My DD was a happy "oops" while I was on BCP and my DH was heading off to a month of training. She was a one-shot deal and meant to be. She was our miracle. It wasn't until DH returned from a deployment 6 years later, that #2 (DS) came about. He was our second surprise and a blessing, as we conceived him 2 weeks post DHs return home! We thought we were happy (and DONE) with our 2 but after my PPD lifted (11 mos postpartum), DH and I began to consider a #3. I am the oldest of 3 and DH is the youngest of 3 -- THREE just made sense. Ultimately, DH won in convincing me to want 3. 🤦‍♀️🙄😶😶😶😂😉😂🤣😂🤣 Currently, we are 41+ mos in the making of TTC for our 3rd. mediagirl on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891965 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 14:01:18 +0000 mediagirl 2891965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Muah ha ha ha ha. I won. ElbieKay on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891953 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 12:51:00 +0000 ElbieKay 2891953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wanted two. My husband would have been ok with one. Our second turned out to be twins so we have three. missyoori on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891939 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 12:13:13 +0000 missyoori 2891939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wanted 2. He wanted 5. We're having 5 lol, but it wasn't hard to twist my arm ;) Ms. RV on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891930 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 11:41:45 +0000 Ms. RV 2891930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am another one who won on an oops. I said either I get pregnant in February or we are done for good. Then I thought he was in agreement when we DTD because he didn't ask if we needed precautions like he usually does. Haha. crazydoglady on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891929 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 11:35:03 +0000 crazydoglady 2891929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I also want to add that this was a joint decision and I didnt feel cornered. DH wasn't going to budge and I was a little back and forth on a 3rd. When it comes down to it, getting pregnant both times sucked and I dont like being pregnant or the newborn phase (terrible anxiety.) We are done biologically but haven't closed the door on adoption in the future. Jess1483 on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891928 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 11:33:45 +0000 Jess1483 2891928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It took years (and a trip to Costa Rica) for me to convince DH on #3. I had always thought 2, but when we had a miscarriage between 1 and 2, I was sure I wanted 3. We went back and forth and had a small time frame, with a promise that if it didn’t happen in that time frame, we wouldn’t. Luckily, we got pregnant right away and I’m nursing our sweet baby girl right now. DH now agrees she was missing, but it took some serious convincing. crazydoglady on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891927 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 11:32:35 +0000 crazydoglady 2891927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Umbreon: I'm not going to lie, the fact that #2 is a girl really helped for me to be at peace with 2. I am positive I would have been ecstatic with a boy, too, it would have just taken time to process. Chuckles on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891923 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:39:05 +0000 Chuckles 2891923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @catgirl: we had a similar experience in that it took quite awhile to get DH on board with #2. And then it took a year of TTC, plus fertility interventions and multiple losses to get a second healthy pregnancy. Anyways, I'm due in November with #2 and we will have slightly over a 6 year age gap. I would have liked more like 4 years, and the idea of starting over now is a little daunting, but mostly we're excited. And I can see how a big age gap will be great since DS can be helpful and knows how to play independently. Plus he really understands what's happening and is, usually, excited to be a big brother. KT326 on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891922 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:36:32 +0000 KT326 2891922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've always wanted three and DH wanted two. Now my boys are 7 and 2.5, I'm pretty sure we are done and I'm okay with that. I just turned 36, we live in a very high cost of living area. We simply can't afford another one and by the time we can, I don't think I want to start over. Umbreon on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891918 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:21:35 +0000 Umbreon 2891918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I voted for we are still deciding. I want 3 and he wants 2. We have a son, if our second is another boy I might be able to talk him into a third. So we'll see. krispi on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891917 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:15:10 +0000 krispi 2891917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH said he wanted 0-1 originally, and I wanted 1-2. It took some convincing him that it was finally time for the 1. I had a lot of difficulties with pregnancy and labor that made me not want to be pregnant ever again. After our daughter was born, we thought we were done for a while. Now, we're pretty sure we're going to start the process of fostering with the hope to adopt in 2020. I voted "other" because we're done with biological kids unless there's an unforeseen oops, but we're open to expanding our family through other means, and he's on board with that now. paigeface on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891914 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:05:10 +0000 paigeface 2891914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @catgirl: My son is almost 4 and daughter is 9 weeks! I personally like the age gap so far because my son has been helpful with his little sister and I can tend to her without worrying about him as he plays on his own, gets his own snacks etc. :grin: Best of luck to you! If it's just one then that's ok! We didn't think we were going to have a #2 it just happened. paigeface on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891913 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:00:18 +0000 paigeface 2891913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @DillonLion: This is us but flipped! DH wanted one and done and we had oopsie #2 born 9 weeks ago! paigeface on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891912 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 09:58:53 +0000 paigeface 2891912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH only wanted one and done. We just had our second a few weeks ago so I won that one. I am happy with two and he's now happy with two as well. We have both a boy and a girl. Sometimes I get sad thinking she is my last baby but so blessed to have two. :heart: Mrs. Toad on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891908 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 09:20:14 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2891908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The same as Pink Elephant only opposite. I say 3-4 while DH says 2-3. DD2 is a month old as our number 3. I think we are done, mostly due to age. If we continue with our planned age gap of approximately 2.5 years, I'll be 39 and DH will be 44. This last pregnancy was harder on me as well. erinbaderin on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891900 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 07:38:59 +0000 erinbaderin 2891900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is a tough one for me to answer. I would have theoretically liked three (or four!) but it took us five years to have the first one, so that seemed like it was right off the table. I was pretty sure I wanted a second but not badly enough to go through fertility treatments again, my husband was debating whether he was happy with one, when I got surprise-pregnant with number two. By the time we had him I was 36 and we figured that we probably couldn't afford any more and live the way we wanted, so we decided that was enough. In a perfect world, though, I would have had more. kayla0416 on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891897 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 07:12:08 +0000 kayla0416 2891897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I always wanted 3, he always wanted 2. I "won" - pregnant with #3 right now! It's a bit of a stretch for us financially, which is what was holding him back the most, but I know we can do it. cake2017 on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891896 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 07:05:38 +0000 cake2017 2891896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @crazydoglady: We both talked about 3. Due in about 3 weeks with number 2. I told DH I am done. He has agreed so far. He is not one to get snipped. thats fine! Birth control here I come! catgirl on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891890 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 05:18:40 +0000 catgirl 2891890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Before having DD I wanted one and DH wanted at least 2. After she was born I knew that I wanted another one, but I waited to say anything since postpartum hormones are crazy. Once I was super sure, when DD was around a year, I told DH. I was so excited to tell him because I thought he would be thrilled - he was not. After DD was born he decided he only wanted one. SO that sucked. She is 4.5 now and we still talk about it and haven't made a final decision. DH is more open to it now, and likely would have agreed in the fall but we had some house/financial things go crazy. Those things are almost under control but now my worry is how big the age gap will be. Do we want to start over? I also completely see the beauty in having only one. So it's been a really hard thing for us... @DillonLion: I can't wait to hear how your age gap goes. There are not many people here with gaps of 5+ years. And good luck! Sams Mom on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891888 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 04:24:58 +0000 Sams Mom 2891888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband is an only, I'm 1 of 3. He always wanted more than 1, but 4 at most if we can afford it. I wanted 3-4... This pregnancy and how long it took to conceive this one is starting to put me in camp no more after this. We haven't decided though for sure since it's still early, and first trimester is making me miserable in general. Pumuckl on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891885 Mon, 22 Jul 2019 04:13:41 +0000 Pumuckl 2891885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So we both didn't get what we wanted. My DH was lets have 2, I was more like lets have 3 and we ended up with 4 because #3 turned into #3 & #4 :silly: We are living birthcontrol to a lot of our friends who say they will stop at 2 because we ended up with twins... jaguar on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891883 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 23:49:11 +0000 jaguar 2891883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wanted 3 and hubby wanted 2. We went back and forth for a while and compromised based on our frozen embryos (we agreed we would use them and *if* one worked, great, but if not, we wouldn't do any more IVF) Both were on board with that - so we went back... and our first transfer worked, so I'm pregnant with #3 now. Hubby is thrilled now but firmly on the NO MORE NOW train... and so am I. :) crazydoglady on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891881 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 22:40:29 +0000 crazydoglady 2891881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @DillonLion: How exciting!!! PinkElephant on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891877 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 22:01:29 +0000 PinkElephant 2891877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Following with interest - I’ve always said 2-3, DH has said 3-4. We have three and he flip flops saying he’d really like one more and he’s ok being done....I’m not sure he can convince me but we will see! DillonLion on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891876 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 21:51:39 +0000 DillonLion 2891876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was one and done, DH wanted one more. We have an oopsie #2 coming this Thursday. bhbee on "If you and your SO want a different # of kids, who "won?"" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-and-your-so-want-a-different-of-kids-who-won#post-2891875 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 21:46:57 +0000 bhbee 2891875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH would maybe have been happy with one, definitely happy to stop at 2. I worked at convincing him on three for a good while. But the funny thing is, when I was ready to quit trying after an emotionally difficult loss and many bfns, he was the one who convinced me to try a bit longer. And here we are with three. He’d probably never get the snip so I guess that gave me time to work on it!