https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 21:05:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009892 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 10:13:32 +0000 Cherrybee 1009892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to add something else now I've thought about it. Being an only child is tough now I'm an adult, too. My parents divorced 19yrs ago and my mum has never remarried and doesn't really have friends..... She is very lonely and needy, frequently sick and I'm all she has. It can be a big responsibility (I don't want to use the word burden) for one person to shoulder. If she is sick, needs shopping, has work stress, has money troubles - whatever - she comes to me. It would be nice to have someone to share the responsibility with. So if you are going to have just one child, plan for your future financially and socially.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009738 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:37:12 +0000 Bookish 1009738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: I'm glad you started this thread. DH and I are one and done and all we hear from people is how horrible that will be. It's nice to hear from people who actually grew up in one child households. I feel like I have a better idea on how to handle DD being an only child after reading these responses. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009733 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:36:13 +0000 jetsa 1009733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is an Only and loved it, in fact he only wants one child because he liked it so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009705 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:30:49 +0000 spaniellove 1009705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child and also would never have changed things. My parents kept me busy with all kinds of activities so I never had a chance to be bored! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009559 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 08:46:24 +0000 Meltini 1009559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child and I wouldn't change it for anything. Growing up I know I occassionally asked for a brother or a sister but now that I am an adult I know that my life would have been drastically different and probably not nearly as great if I had siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009543 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 08:41:46 +0000 Aimed 1009543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not an only child but my two siblings were in or close to their teens when I was born so I grew up in a house of adults. there are pro's and con's like everything. I was quite lonely but it did give me a great imagination and creativity and ,made me quite independent. Also I grew up in a rural area, if I had been sent to pre school and after school activities to mix with other kids I think that the loneliness wouldn't have beeen as much of a factor so there are ways of getting around the negatives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009219 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 05:21:59 +0000 Andrea 1009219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: no neighborhood friends. We lived in an isolated area so I had no way of getting around by myself. My parents never had people over. I pretty much played by myself until I was about 11 or 12. That is when I started asking if I could meet my friends at the mall and my parents drove me there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009086 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 23:40:22 +0000 sarac 1009086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: no. My parents were ill and unhappy, and we were rather isolated. If not for that I may have enjoyed being an only child more.</p> <p>@lazylightning I'd sure love that, but you'll have to speak to my busted uterus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1009038 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 22:46:23 +0000 googly-eyes 1009038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cara M. 17: @sarac: @Andrea: @NCSUchick27: </p> <p>Soo question for those who didn't like it/ were lonely.. Did you have a lot of neighborhood friends? Even after my brother came along we lived in a neighborhood (3 actually, 1 apt, 2 townhouses, 1 house) where all the kids would just knock on people's doors when they had nothing to do.. There was almost always someone around. My brother had friends like that and so did I. It was so much fun! I still spent trips/holidays/etc with my brother though.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008986 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 21:46:01 +0000 Mrs. Fox 1008986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hergreenapples: I totally agree! As an only child, I really got along with my parents. We felt like a really tight little team and we still enjoy doing stuff with them. One child is not only cheaper but easier- my parents were still able to have adventures and I was able to share those adventures with them. Finally, even though my parents never had a lot of money they were able to afford great schools for me all the way through my education.<br /> I want a second child - although my husband with four siblings is one and done - but not for my son's sake. I believe he would thrive as an only, just as I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008699 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 19:40:29 +0000 littlek 1008699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother is 9.5 years older than me, we have different fathers. He was gone to college since I was in elementary school, so I feel like an only child. I LOVED it. I have an extremely close relationship with my parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008617 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:53:29 +0000 Ash 1008617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cara M. 17: Oh no, I didn't know both of your parents have passed away. :( That's my fear - being an only child with my parents (ie... mainly my mom) being gone. </p> <p>I didn't want siblings when I was really little but as I grew older, I wished I had at least one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008612 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:51:19 +0000 LazyLightning 1008612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: you were smarter than me. I cleaned way too many toilets and mowed too much lawn before I realized my error!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008605 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:48:45 +0000 Andrea 1008605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LazyLightning: I don't think I ever told my parents I was bored! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008587 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:39:52 +0000 LazyLightning 1008587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: that's too bad! If I ever said I was bored my mom made me do chores lol! So, I read a lot (strict parents here too!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008520 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:12:54 +0000 Andrea 1008520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up I never wanted a sibling. But now looking back on it as an adult, I have realized that I was soooo lonely. I was always by myself and bored. My parents were so strict and it really would have been nice to have a sibling to commiserate with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008454 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 17:23:17 +0000 NCSUchick27 1008454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am an only child and I hated it as a child. I hate it even more now because I saw what my dad, who is also an only child, had to go through when his parents passed away.</p> <p>The one thing I did like about it was that my parents were more financially stable with one child than they would have been with two. They were able to pay for a good portion of my college tuition.</p> <p>We will definitely be having at least 2 children. DH has 2 siblings and thinks having siblings is a good thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008389 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 16:26:32 +0000 Torchwood 1008389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was an only child until my dad and stepmom had my sister when I was 13, and I remain one with my mom (with whom I lived). I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, my mom and I are very close, and it's partially because it was (mostly) just us. I also love the exrtra attention I still get.</p> <p>At the same time, I have serious issues with attention, which almost certainly stem in part from being an only child. I also worry a bit about being solely responsible for things when my mom gets older. And I feel some pressure to always live near her so she can be close to grandkids, despite the fact that we don't like TN at all. </p> <p>And DH is one of four (and a twin), and I have to admit, I get a little sad when I see them together. I don't have that with my half siblings because we didn't grow up together. We plan to have 2 kids, as a compromise. I want more as an only, and he wants fewer because of being one of so many (he also had stepsiblings for a while). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008346 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:57:13 +0000 heartonastring 1008346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child and I love it. I'm incredibly close with my parents and I loved being a family if three. We became incredibly close knit as a family and it made travel, which has always been hugely important in my family, quite easy and doable.</p> <p>I recommend One and Only by Lauren Sandler if you're interested in extracting the truth from all the stereotypes that exist about only children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008343 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:56:48 +0000 LazyLightning 1008343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: more adorable babies needed from you two please!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008341 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:55:21 +0000 LazyLightning 1008341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and there was a ton of pressure on me to succeed. I resented it when I was younger but now I am successful, financially secure and have a phd so I am totally happy for all that pushing and overbearing now as a 30 year old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008338 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:53:25 +0000 LazyLightning 1008338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: I'm an only child and while I begged for siblings as a little kid, I loved it when I got older and still love it now. I feel closer to my parents because of it--a team of three, we were! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008321 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:45:23 +0000 Cherrybee 1008321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: My mum was very possessive and has hated every friend and boyfriend I've ever had. She wanted me to spend my time with her, I guess - she didn't even like me playing in my bedroom. I had a best friend and I did play her house but she was rarely alowed to play at mine - my mum said she couldn't stand the noise or the mess. I do fear turning into her... I also hate noise and mess and feel possessive of my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008317 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:43:47 +0000 CatyLady 1008317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have mixed feelings about it. The downsides:<br /> Lonely<br /> Onus all on me re parents</p> <p>Ups:<br /> Didn't have to consider anyone else</p> <p>But on a whole, I think I would have generally benefited from not being an only child. My Mum didn't intend on it being that way, she had an ectopic after me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008309 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:40:11 +0000 wheres_c 1008309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child and enjoyed it. My feelings are the same as @honeybear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008296 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:23:33 +0000 honeybear 1008296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am an only child. I sometimes wanted a sibling, but I never felt cheated out of one as a child, or that my childhood was somehow lacking something because I didn't have a sibling. I had plenty of friends, although I was pretty good at being alone but not lonely, too. I guess I never felt particularly strongly about it either way. </p> <p>Now that I'm an adult, I feel that I probably carry a much larger responsibility for my parents as they get older than I might if an adult sibling was in the picture. That's not a complaint--it's just something I've always known and have been planning for. In some ways it might actually be easier, because I won't have anyone other than Mom and Dad to make decisions with. </p> <p>That said, we want another child. Our wanting another isn't a reflection on my childhood--we just feel that we're meant to be a larger family than we are now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008284 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:10:33 +0000 googly-eyes 1008284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I missed this the first time I read your comment..but if you don't mind me asking, did your mom just not like your specific friends, or did your mom not want you to have any friends? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008281 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:06:41 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1008281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely don't have negative feelings about it at all. I'm not even jealous of friends with close siblings. My mother was a single Mom (my Dad was essentially not in the picture), and it was just me, so I think I have a very specific experience. I think if I had a traditional family situation perhaps it would have been harder? Maybe I would have wondered why my parents didn't have another child? With just my mother, I knew early one she was busting her hump to take care of me and that siblings were just not going to be an option. </p> <p>Either way, I'm glad that my mother did what was best for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008272 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:56:16 +0000 cascademom 1008272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: my brother and I didn't get along until adulthood. He's been a huge resource and support with being a parent now that we both are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-an-only-child#post-1008261 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:45:15 +0000 googly-eyes 1008261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's interesting that the responses so far are either loved it or hated it. </p> <p>I suspect if people were brutally honest there would also be a lot of people who didn't like their siblings too. </p>