https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 21:09:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education/page/2#post-1475202 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:52:20 +0000 gingerbebe 1475202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I did not get help for college and we both worked our tails off to get our degrees. I think it really helped us not to screw around. Therefore, while we want to help our kids with school as much as possible, even if we had the means to pay for their entire education, I don't know that we'd really want them to know that. </p> <p>So along the lines of what the previous posters have said, we'd probably make them take out loans on their own and work part-time jobs through college and pay the loans off as a graduation gift. My friend's dad also did something like a PP had said where he told all of his kids if they graduated with at least a 3.5 grad average he would pay for school (and he gave the same deal for any kind of graduate school). The friend's dad was extremely wealthy so all his kids knew he COULD afford to send them to school, so that worked for them.</p> <p>I think another thing DH and I agree on is being attentive to your kids needs with regards to college in general. We're not convinced that college is for everyone and would be okay with our kids pursuing a vocation that does not require a degree, although we'd have to be sure that our kid was really gifted or dedicated to that vocation. This was a hard thing for us to accept, seeing as how we both have professional degrees, but we have a lot of relatives that are perfectly happy in their non-degreed careers, as well as those who dragged themselves through college for 7, 8, 9, and even 10 years at a HUGE expense just to get a BA that they never used. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475095 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:32:52 +0000 lemondrop 1475095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are planning to pay for colleges, but we will have contingency and penalty plans along with outlined expectations in place for being irresponsible, it isn't just free money that they will get. That said, we both screwed around a fair amount in college- we had a blast and were still successful, so I do have some expectations for that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475077 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:30:11 +0000 Adira 1475077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I'm not saying that I would force my child to go to college if they didn't want to. While I think a college education is VERY important, I agree that it's not meant for everyone (my brother didn't complete his college education either and he's doing just fine). All I'm saying is that if they WANT to go to college and then they make some mistakes while they are there, I'm not going to take away their ability to continue to go to college and leave them with no options but to drop out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475071 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:29:33 +0000 coopsmama 1475071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: That's an awesome idea!</p> <p>My parents paid every cent of my college education which was incredibly generous of them since I didn't choose the cheapest school or city to live in. They were very involved from a distance and really tried to maintain relationship with me despite the fact we were a 4 hour plane ride (24 hour drive) apart and I think that involvement and their generosity helped propel me to working hard in school. I knew that the occasional screw up at school or C (of which I only had a couple) wasn't going to be the end of the world in their minds but I also knew that if risky behaviors or bad grades became the norm, they'd be wanting to know what was up and WHY! I hope to have a similar relationship with my kids when they are at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475065 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:28:09 +0000 Adira 1475065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CupQuakeWalk: Well, I certainly wouldn't just keep paying without some sort of PLAN in place to ensure things changed if my son wasn't getting his work done! I'm not trying to say that i would continue to pay with no consequences! There would definitely be consequences (which might include transferring to another college so they could live at home or something)! But I wouldn't just take away money I intend for their college education and leave them with no options to continue, if that makes sense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475053 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:25:36 +0000 blackbird 1475053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@weagle :shocked: . I must be living in a bubble because none of my friends did this and I feel like I had enough conversations with my parents that they would have known! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475050 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:25:05 +0000 BSB 1475050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I'm not completely set on every child needs to go to college to succeed. My brother is a prime example. He wasn't challenge enough as a child and goofed off and go into some trouble with the law. He graduated high school at an alternative school and got a job in the technical field. Something clicked and he made his way up the ranks and is now has an 'engineer' job title. He did not go to college other than getting his AA degree so could apply for the job he has now. I want my children to have structure like when I went to school but I'm seeing now that not all kids are meant to go to a 4 year university. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475049 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:24:42 +0000 pinkcupcake 1475049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, I'm not sure. </p> <p>I was a really good, studious kid in high school but my second year of college wasn't so great. I didn't fail or anything , but I did end up with the lowest grades of my life. My parents could have chosen to cut me off, but instead we had a very long, serious talk that left me feeling like complete shit for wasting their hard earned money And made me clean up my act, stat. I think their sadness and disappointment hurt more than any anger they could have displayed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475042 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:22:47 +0000 Weagle 1475042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: One kept it up through graduation day ( which was already 2 years after he should have graduated). His family figured it out when his little bro noticed his name wasn't in the program. Before insurance covered kids to 26, they required transcripts every semester to continue coverage for college aged kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1475006 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:17:20 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1475006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: believe me, I get your sentiment but just as an example: my 19 year old brother right now has just gotten back to school fulltime. He goofed off his first semester and my stepdad gave him another chance. And then he goofed off that 2nd semester. So my stepdad is like "I'm paying for your school so you can STUDY on the weekends instead of work. But your not doing either and you're partying every weekend!" So he didn't pay for last fall and my brother could only afford a class or 2. You better believe he came back BEGGING and now he knows not to take it for granted. We expected him to fuck up that first year, but my parents taught him a swift lesson and now he's doing much better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474994 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:15:01 +0000 HabesBabe 1474994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: that is such a good idea!</p> <p>We won't be able to pay for all of our kids' college, but we will help out a bit... I guess we'll have to ask for transcripts to make sure they're not failing/dropping classes? I dropped a bunch of classes while in community college and my dad never knew, because he was across the country.</p> <p>I'm hoping that both LOs end up with scholarships somewhere... I think that's one of the best gifts a kid can give a parent! LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474990 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:14:10 +0000 Adira 1474990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So...</p> <p>I'm not positive what we would do. But I feel like we would probably continue to pay their tuition. If we stopped, they would be more likely to drop out, which isn't what I want.</p> <p>I just need to think about what ELSE I would do to get them back on the right track. I want my children to go to college and graduate (and do WELL) and I don't think taking their tuition from them will help them reach the end goal, regardless of their mistakes. We'd have to figure out what to do together (and maybe the decision might be that they don't WANT to continue going to college, in which case, then of course we'll stop, but I don't want to take that option away from them). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474986 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:13:55 +0000 BSB 1474986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: That's a good point. I took a class that was suppose to be an 'easy A', did not end up that way. I thinking going on semester GPA versus course grades is a better idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474968 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:10:16 +0000 sunny 1474968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Stats 2 nearly killed me. And I definitely wouldn't have taken a risk of taking Computer Graphics (one of the hardest 3 classes in my program) if financial help was contingent on an A. Taking that class and getting a C was considered a job well done and landed me an interview with my first company (and where I worked for 8 years!). The recruiter gave everyone an automatic interview who took one of the 3 killer classes in my program because you were no slouch if you attempted those. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474961 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:09:33 +0000 littleveesmommy 1474961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: That is such a great idea~! I am filing that away for sure. You have to earn it. It's too much money just to have it pissed away (for lack of better terms)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474947 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:08:24 +0000 BSB 1474947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: I really like that idea. My plan was to take the loans in our own names and have my children pay me back if their grades weren't high enough. Though, since it's already in my name, there's no motivation for them pay it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474935 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:06:19 +0000 Bookish 1474935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @sunny: I agree, our help will be based on maintaining scholarship eligibility/a GPA of x amount, etc. Not just grades for each class. Everybody has that one (or several, in my case) class that just screws the pooch. My sister is currently in college and pulling a 3.0 despite a very un-fun semester of Art History that I think she ended up getting a D in. Shiz happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474928 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:05:13 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1474928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As bad as it may sound, our financial support will be with conditions and we will end support if things aren't going according to plan. I don't care what my kid studies or how much of a workload it takes him (5years vs 4 for example), I just want him to do well and give it his all. He will be an adult and college maps out his future, so yes, I will do anything to encourage his good participation. And if he refuses (partying, not attending classes...) then no money for you, buddy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474927 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:05:10 +0000 BSB 1474927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: I got my degree in a science program, which I think can be harder. I think if my children enrolled in a easier or harder program, I can make that threshold higher or lower based on program. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474925 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 16:04:31 +0000 Lindsay05 1474925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: This is our plan as well. You do well, and we will help you out, if you don't, too bad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474882 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:55:52 +0000 blackbird 1474882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@weagle, whaaaaaaaat. :shocked: . That definitely makes me think twice! Maybe I will require that she send me transcripts LOL</p> <p>@sunny, I totally hear you. I barely passed calculus, and I was no slacker nor dummy. Subject/difficulty will certainly be a factor. I don't expect straight A's, but i do expect good enough grades to maintain scholarship (3.0 I think?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474820 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:48:12 +0000 jetsa 1474820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: this is our plan. Also DS will not know that we intend to help him so that he has all the incentive to not waste any time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474679 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:23:05 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1474679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My moms deal was that we had to pay her back for anything we failed. None of us failed anything! :) I think we will do the same type of thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474604 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:13:37 +0000 Weagle 1474604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: My great-grandfather told all of his grandsons, but not granddaughters, that he would pay their full ride if they went to law school. My mom and one other cousin were the only two that ended up finishing college. She wanted to go to law school but couldn't pay for it. Her cousin ended up in med school and took on those loans himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474589 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:11:31 +0000 Weagle 1474589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I know several folks who lived off of room and board for several semesters after dropping out of college - without their parents knowledge. If I'm inclined to pay for anything while they're there, it would be tuition and books before room and board. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474480 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:57:02 +0000 sandy 1474480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: I think that's a great idea! My husband's grandfather made the same deal with him and his sister. She dropped out after a semester and was stuck with the bill. My husband got a full ride to college. So he needed up not paying for either of them </p> <p>@sunny: my husband says he got so much flack for not getting all As in college. He was like "everyone is dropping out of these classes and I'm getting a B which is actually really good" but they didn't understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474471 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:56:12 +0000 blackbird 1474471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Then no money. I'm not going to help my kids party their days away in college and do poorly. You can still have fun in college and do well, academically. But there's a lot to take into consideration. If she's not taking it seriously, it'll be a problem. But i'm hoping it's a non-issue and that we can have some good discussions about everything before we even send her off. And we won't have money for the whole thing and will cross that bridge when we get there. Maybe we cover room/board but not tuition, I dunno.</p> <p>Dh wants to handle it like Weagle did </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474469 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:56:03 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1474469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: DH's mom did that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474439 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:53:23 +0000 rawrasaur 1474439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't even think that far in advance. We will have to see what the whole situation is and what other options are available - in my ideal world the entire education system will be very different in 17 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-are-planning-on-paying-los-college-education#post-1474413 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:49:48 +0000 LovelyPlum 1474413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: oh, I'm not saying I would cut off my kid for getting bad grades in hard courses if they were legitimately trying! I know that's completely unfair. I guess I care more about effort, which can be hard to judge from a distance, I know. If my child is working hard, then go for it! Take a risk on a hard class. But if the bad grades come from a lack of effort and too much booze-that would warrant a LONG talk from me. </p>