https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 06:57:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48321 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:27:17 +0000 Rock n Roll 48321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: My husband and I worked for the same company when I had my daughter, and apparently we had to split the FMLA leave. We could pick to split it however we wanted, but I ended up taking almost all of it (which my husband was fine with since our kid was quite the screamer those first few months-I think he was happy to get away!) But I do like the idea of not assigning it on gender, even though I still think it's kind of inequitable to have a primary and secondary. My husband and I split is so evenly that I would feel guilty saying I'm the primary! But when you're breastfeeding it's a lot easier for the mom to stay home longer if you have to make the choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48317 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:19:26 +0000 daniellemybelle 48317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rock n Roll: Yes, they would just pick. I mean, after they have both taken leave, then it wouldn't really matter, but I feel like parental leave shouldn't be based on gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48284 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:54:17 +0000 Rock n Roll 48284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: Not to be argumentative, but how would you determine who is the primary and who is the secondary caregiver? Would the couple just have to pick? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48277 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:51:09 +0000 daniellemybelle 48277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) How much leave would you give off to new moms? (i.e. how many weeks or months)<br /> - I would require companies to hold the positions of "primary caregivers" (whether or not they give birth) for 3 months. I can understand that for some companies, more than that is just unrealistic. However, I think this should go for ALL companies, not just ones with more than 50 employees, and it should go for all "primary caregivers," not just women or women who give birth.<br /> 2) How much of the leave would be paid, and what percentage of salary would moms receive?<br /> - Employers would be required to pay 100% of their salary for the full three months.<br /> 3) Who would pay for the salary?<br /> - I'm not sure... I think it would be split between the company and the government.<br /> 4) What about the non-birthing parent... would they get the same benefits?<br /> - "Secondary caregivers" would get 2 months 100% paid and would be able to take it non-continuously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48263 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:42:31 +0000 Rock n Roll 48263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think from a societal and feminist perspective, any maternity leave should mirror paternity leave. Although women need to heal physically, both parents benefit from extended bonding time. Not to mention the absolute drain and exhaustion from those first few months- just because the pikachu or incision is healed does NOT mean that people are back to shooting at 100%- regardless of whether they gave birth or not. </p> <p>On top of that, in order for women and men to be treated equally in the workforce, I think they need to be treated equally in all aspects. One of the big arguments for why women are still making less money than men on average is that women take time off to have babies and men don't. If we encourage men to take time off as well, we won't have that difference.</p> <p>I think 6 months for both parents would be a good amount of time. It gives the family time to adjust and spend time together. As for whether it's paid, how much, and by whom, well I'd have to do a pretty big chunk of research to give an opinion on that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48225 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:09:36 +0000 mrsjyw 48225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) How much leave would you give off to new moms? (i.e. how many weeks or months)</p> <p>6 months - 1 year (the choice of the mother)</p> <p>2) How much of the leave would be paid, and what percentage of salary would moms receive?</p> <p>(6 months paid, latter 6 paid at a % of salary)</p> <p>3) Who would pay for the salary?</p> <p>(The first six months - should be a combo of company + governent | the latter should be by government)</p> <p>4) What about the non-birthing parent... would they get the same benefits? </p> <p>I think the non-birthing parent should get at least 3 months - 6 months. </p> <p>As with PPs, I believe maternity/paternity leave is a time of both physical healing and bonding with the child. I think that good tax-payers should have this as part of the benefits they receive from the government. I also think there should be some programs (at a fraction) thta give some sort of benefit to those who choose not to have children. They shouldn't be punished for choosing not to procreate. This is all a utopic situation that obviously will not happen in my lifetime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-48164 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:23:42 +0000 looch 48164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I live, health insurance coverage is mandatory, meaning everyone must have coverage, so there are options available for everyone to purchase. It is independent of your employment. I think this would be a great option for the US.</p> <p>I also would love that employers offer on site day care, paid for by the parents whose children attend. That would have made my return to work possible. If the government mandated that this were required for employers with a certain number of employees, it would allow parents to return to work with less disruption. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47238 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:40:33 +0000 akire 47238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really understand how the medical part of it can be set to a standard time. At my company, it's 8 weeks paid for regular delivery, 12 weeks paid for C-Section. Anything else goes under FMLA or long term disability. Isn't every person different? Shouldn't doctors determine what the necessary medical amount is?</p> <p>Furthermore, I think we should distinguish that this time is about healing, but it's also about bonding. As someone who is using a surrogate due to a medical condition, I will have two weeks paid, period. I had more time off when I had my tonsils out. My husband will get no time at all. So the choice is to save up vacation days then take an unpaid leave or put a newborn in daycare. </p> <p>I am not saying that in any way I will need the recovery time that a birth mother will, but I am saying that my child deserves the right to a semblance of a schedule.</p> <p>As for who pays the salary, I think it's interesting what some people have brought up about time spent at the company, or the ability to work part-time. It's obviously not an easy solution, but it does make for interesting, and important, debate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47186 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:17:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 47186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting discussion! This has sparked us into reading more into our country's policy. I was wrong with dad's being required to take 60 days paid, it's not required, it's reserved only for the dad, so out of the 480 days, 60 is reserved for each parent and it's not transferable. </p> <p>It was interesting to hear DH's opinion on the situation. As a foreigner (Swede), he had basically summarized it in his mind: said that Americans get paid a lot more and the society is built on a free market without much help from the gov't when it comes to healthcare, has lower taxes (although most Americans would disagree), and it looks to the companies for this option. He doesn't see it as a bad thing, just very different from here.</p> <p>I, on the other hand, think it's a bad thing. Like Kemma, I also think it's appalling that women are basically forced to think that having a family is a burden because society makes it very difficult to have and raise families. I guess the only way of going about it is to save money for a family, just like people save money for a house. And I suppose there's nothing wrong with that, but when so many pregnancies are unplanned, it's just not realistic.</p> <p>I'd really like to see a more family friendly society in the States. Because I feel that how it is today affects peoples attitudes towards children and having and wanting a stable family life in general.</p> <p>"Only four countries have no national law mandating paid time off for new parents: Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States." - Wikipedia. </p> <p>For me, that sentence sums it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47164 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:59:17 +0000 Maysprout 47164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: I think if big companies would pay fair wages people wouldn't be as dependent on the government.<br /> <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Business/walmart-ceo-pay-hour-workers-year/story?id=11067470#.TwXim9SPlc4" rel="nofollow">http://abcnews.go.com/Business/walmart-ceo-pay-hour-workers-year/story?id=11067470#.TwXim9SPlc4</a><br /> There's no reason a company as big as walmart should have people on welfare. That store and a lot of big stores like it are a drain on society. They make people work full time but don't give them enough that meets anyone's standards for living.<br /> Fox News supports maternity leave, Megyn Kelly even went as far to call it barbaric that it wasn't paid leave for all women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47071 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:46:09 +0000 tequiero21 47071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: are you serious? or joking? lol. right now, they can't support themselves. you do realize we're paying for the current batch of funds, right? they haven't collected enough for the length of time people are living now. if i have the option to opt out and just create my own retirement plan, i would in a heartbeat! it might have been a good start back in the days when people didn't live to 80 - 100 so easily. but they've got to change as society changes. they can't expect to keep the same plans and be able to fund it sufficiently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47066 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:42:07 +0000 tequiero21 47066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrstilly: i concur! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47029 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:12:15 +0000 Maysprout 47029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd like to see some encouragement for companies to offer part-time work. I would not have felt ready after leave expired to go back full-time. And I think that's an unnecessarily rough transition for a lot of women to go to being with their baby full-time to working full-time. </p> <p>Also for the job I was in it wasn't clear whether or not FMLA even applied to me, there's lots of ins and outs to that situation and I left before it was decided because of all the bull, but I think there's lots of loopholes that need to be gotten rid of. </p> <p>I do think fathers should get at least a couple weeks without being fired. I didn't have a c-section or anything but having my husband home made life so much better. I was so sleepless and then I got mastitis with a 102 fever I'm not sure it would have been the safest for me to be home alone with a newborn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47007 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:56:35 +0000 mrbee 47007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: I am not sure it's fair to refer to SS as failing badly? It's been a pretty effective program since 1935, and is fully funded for at least two more decades. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47004 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:51:41 +0000 oliviaoblivia 47004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are staying in Canada until we finish having babies because of the pro-mama maternity policies. As an American I feel sad that I can't have my children at home, but the way the US FMLA is now is not enough time for me. It remarkable how much more supported I feel by Canadian health policies for women, the policies are there to help mothers and children during a very important time. I feel like the US just kicks you right back to the work force even if you, your body, and your baby aren't ready.</p> <p>We were in Florida for the holidays and met a women who was working 3 weeks after giving birth. She was a waitress and therefore on her feet all day. I just can't imagine leaving a 3 week old at home or in day care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-47003 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:51:11 +0000 mrstilly 47003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: I see your point about not wanting to pay for other peoples' maternity leave, via tax dollars. However right now taxes are paying for people who are chronic users of welfare and social services. I would much rather have stricter regulations on other social services and be able to provide mothers with maternity leave, than continue to fund social services for deadbeats.<br /> (On a side note I think drug testing welfare recipients is AWESOME, and also think that welfare money should be tied to the school attendance of any kids under 18 who are in the home or are dependents of the recipient.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46999 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:48:13 +0000 tequiero21 46999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: yeah, by the time we're up for our payments, there won't be enough funds. we're paying for the current generation now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46995 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:45:08 +0000 Mrsbells 46995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just like to adopt the british system here, where women have paid maternity leave (paid by the government through the employer)<br /> -We should have atleast 6 months maternity leave (during which employer cannot fire the mom), the current 12 weeks provided by FMLA is sooooo not acceptable.<br /> I dont think the husband should get the same amount of time off, because then the system would be crippled. If the mom gets 6 months off I think the father should get about 2 weeks. {Bear in mind I havent had a baby yet so i dont know how much time off is enough for the father} </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46986 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:38:03 +0000 mrbee 46986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: Social Security is failing badly? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46958 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:17:05 +0000 tequiero21 46958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: i agree with your first point re: how mother's probably wouldn't be productive after having a kid and shouldn't have to be penalized for wanting to have children. but the problem is how do we actually FUND the program? there's a reason why social security and medicare is FAILING badly. it's hard to keep funding when there's no other income being generated. you know? it's not realistic. unless the mother could somehow generate funds, the government can't be giving free money, like welfare (which i think way too many people abuse) - i think i turned republican over the past few years.</p> <p>@mamabolt - that's the problem - everyone thinks everything should be funded by the government - but who ultimately pays for that? the taxpayers. no offense, i don't want to pay for other people's maternity leave. i don't want my ss and medicare taxes to pay for other people's so that when i get to that age, i get no money! people want the government to pay for everything. that's why we're in a major major major deficit. and the people running the government are inefficient too! spending on drivers, nice offices, high salaries - that's another topic.</p> <p>@beka - you said it! re: point #3. and i guess you're right in the sense that if a company wants to attract good people and thus, offer good benefits, paid leave is something that people would find attractive - but that offer is the prerogative of the company and should not have to be enforced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46952 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:12:22 +0000 Modern Daisy 46952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG I love this topic!! I feel like our country's maternity leave system is so barbaric. It is definitely not family focused at all and a source of stress for many people i know!</p> <p>1) I think at least three months should be given to Moms, then they have the ability to take FMLA on top of that. The reason is because the first three months in the baby's life are critical and most daycares won't take an infant younger than 3 months old.</p> <p>2) I think the first 3 months should be paid at 100% salary depending on the Moms tenure with the company, then any disability or FMLA on top of that would depend on available benefits.</p> <p>3) The company should pay for the salary, since it would be a benefit granted to woman who had adequate tenure.</p> <p>4) I think it's ludicris that most companies do not offer paternity leave, and those that do only offer about 1 week. I think the father should get at least a month of paternity leave! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46947 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:05:54 +0000 shinystraps 46947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My perspective on this is a little different both because I work in politics and see the value for society of having mothers spend time with their newborns, and because I am the daughter of the owner of a very small business and know how mandatory maternity leave policies would cost him. The firm I currently work with only has three employees besides me and does not have a maternity leave policy - so that means that I have to do a lot of saving so that I can afford to have time off. </p> <p>I very often hear about all the good in other countries' systems, but what you don't always hear about is how difficult that makes it for mothers to change jobs. Mandatory maternity leave policies can hurt women who are trying to get a job while pregnant, or trying to find a new job, or get promoted, because the companies know that they will have to pay for someone to sub in for that person while they're out on maternity leave for a year. I wish that mandatory maternity leave didn't have the effect that it can have on women's ability both to work and to receive promotions. This is particularly hard on women earning low wages, because they can't afford to NOT work, and desperately need the position.</p> <p>1) I think the current system of 3 months of guaranteed leave is good. I know at my firm, they would have to hire someone to do my work while I'm out for maternity leave, and we are much too small a firm to qualify for FMLA, but I would like the requirements of holding your job for you to be extended to smaller businesses, I just don't know how to make that happen without bankrupting small businesses. Which really bothers me because many small businesses are owned by women and I would hate to see their businesses go away.<br /> 2) I think this is something that should be set by the employers - I know that if I were to find a job that I liked as much as my current one that paid maternity leave, I'd go after that job in a heartbeat. So this is one way that truly savvy companies have found to attract high-quality women to work for them.<br /> 3) See above. As much as I personally would LOVE to not have to use my personal savings for maternity leave as I am planning to, I am also very aware of the tightness of budgets on EVERY government level. I'm also aware that bringing in more revenue through tax increases can't cut it right now, because there are so many people already struggling. I have a hard time saying that the federal government should fund a program of this enormous proportion when social security and medicare are going bankrupt and our national debt keeps skyrocketing. I would like for employers of a certain size to be mandated to provide short-term disability insurance options - obviously this wouldn't help me because our firm is so small that we likely wouldn't qualify, but this is a good way for me (for example) to pay into an insurance plan and then get paid for the time that I'm out on leave.<br /> 4) Again, I think this is where good employers are figuring it out. My husband's company has been very good about providing time off to new dads. Good leave policies are a great way to attract good employees - just as flexible work hours and ability to work from home attract good employees. These are things that I am seeing more and more companies adopt, and as a result, their bottom lines are increasing because they retain employees longer and their employees are more happy, thus productive. Working Mother magazine has had some great articles on these topics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46915 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:25:41 +0000 mamabolt 46915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ideal would be six months leave total. I think 12 weeks is so soon to have to go back (and that's if you can afford to take that long off unpaid). I know I won't be working at 100% at that point, because I'll likely still be dealing with sleep deprivation and taking breaks to pump. But that's all I'm protected for so like it or not I'll be going back at that point.<br /> I think all the leave should be paid, maybe at 60% of salary, and that it should be funded by the federal govt.<br /> I think I'd offer the non-birthing parent two weeks on their own at 60%, but also set the condition that the six months of leave can be split between parents, so both could take time off at the same time, or they could alternate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46845 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:44:07 +0000 SugarplumsMom 46845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the States paternity leave was similar to Sweden, I would be on the first flight home. It doesn't even have to be half as long (I'd be happy for 1/4 the amount), I just wish it was more family friendly. For instance, here both parents have an automatic 10 days paid leave (without notice) when the baby is born, regardless of marriage. There is also no fear of losing your job or "feeling guilty" for taking paternity leave, and fathers are *required* to take 60 days of paid leave (that's not including the first 10 days). Then there's a remaining 360 days of paid leave to divvy up as you please (which can be taken within 8 years).</p> <p><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7202694.stm" rel="nofollow">http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7202694.stm</a><br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46838 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:18:33 +0000 Kemma 46838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm from New Zealand and if you've completed twelve months of continuous service with your employer you are entitled to fourteen weeks of paid leave (paid by the govt and about $450.00per week before tax) and a further 38 weeks of unpaid leave (a total of twelve months).</p> <p>Personally I think it's appalling that some women in the US are expected to go back to work as little as 4-6 weeks after birth, labour can be a hugely traumatic and life changing event, both from a personal and medical standpoint. Society should be supporting and rallying around new mothers rather than expecting them to be superwoman!</p> <p>If I was writing the rules, I'd do the following:</p> <p>1. I think all women should have the option of having up to twelve months leave following the birth of a child. Not all will take it, but a women shouldn't have to fear losing her job because she chose to have children. Any employer who expects a woman to return to work within a matter of weeks is just crazy! I'd also argue that a new mother forced to leave her newborn wouldn't be working to her full potential or productivity.</p> <p>2. In terms of payment I like the idea of a fixed amount being available to families regardless of the length of time taken off work. For example, a mother could opt to take ten weeks of paid leave at $500 a week or twenty weeks paid at $250 per week. I think the amount should be tied to the average wage, not an individuals wage.</p> <p>3. I believe the government has a responsibility to support families at such a crucial time and should therefore provide the bulk of funding for any maternity leave (surely money spent now would save money further down the track). Governments' rely on population growth to keep economies growing. I do know of employers who offer additional maternity leave payments provided the employee returns to work for a set amount of time following their maternity leave. I also believe that strong maternity leave policies are a means of increasing employee satisfaction and retention. Happy employees are productive employees!</p> <p>4. For the non-birthing parent, i'd like to see a minimum of two weeks being made available, with the length of time being increased with the length of service. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46815 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:33:55 +0000 tequiero21 46815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>well, i don't think i'd change a lot. </p> <p>1. i think 8-12 weeks is sufficient. any more is really a detriment to the company and i don't think they should be penalized for it. it's the woman's prerogative to take longer, but the company shouldn't be obligated to hold the position for her.<br /> 2. right now, some companies have paid, others unpaid. others have disability which pays for 60%. would be nice to have disability offered at each company that pays 100%.<br /> 3. i don't think it's the company's obligation to pay any maternity leave. if all companies did that, they'd probably tank, since payroll is a significant portion of expenses. i do think i would want to require them to offer s/t disability to the mother....my company doesn't offer any.<br /> 4. non-birthing parent - i'd say similar benefits, but not as much time off. part of the time off is for the mother to recover. if the woman didn't give birth, we should shave off 4 weeks. but they still need to bond with the kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46813 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:20:39 +0000 mrstilly 46813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd give moms six months leave with at least 3 or 4 months paid leave. I'd give dads a full month paid leave too. I think 75% of salary would be ok. I'm not sure the best way to fund it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-could-change-the-governmental-policy-around-maternity-leave-what-would-you-change#post-46733 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:29:55 +0000 mrbee 46733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there are four main questions (although feel free to add more in your response!):</p> <p>1) How much leave would you give off to new moms? (i.e. how many weeks or months)<br /> 2) How much of the leave would be paid, and what percentage of salary would moms receive?<br /> 3) Who would pay for the salary?<br /> 4) What about the non-birthing parent... would they get the same benefits? </p>