Hellobee Boards Topic: If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?

Hellobee Boards Topic: If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 13:50:38 +0000 mrs.shinerbock on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2668430 Tue, 20 Dec 2016 21:33:15 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2668430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My side of the family does pot luck style, but also tend to do the majority of the cooking at the same house because we all travel to someone's house. We tend to menu plan together prior to the holiday. DH's family doesn't really do big special meals for holidays. If we are there visiting, there are usually 15-20 people in the house anyway for the whole week, so every meal is big, but it's usually his mom and sisters cooking. alphagam84 on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2668178 Tue, 20 Dec 2016 14:36:25 +0000 alphagam84 2668178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Generally for a big holiday we all bring a side item or dessert. Although this year my SIL is being difficult about several aspects of getting together but put it over the top when she texted me our MIL and I would be required to bring several side items as they are providing the entree, dessert, and drink. SMH 808love on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667756 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 21:38:23 +0000 808love 2667756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In past years, we hosted and did potluck style. This past year, I told everyone don't bring anything but they still brought... :) When we go to my Aunty's I didn't bring anything until I was in college. Greentea on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667714 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 20:37:46 +0000 Greentea 2667714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Never been to potluck style! azjax on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667694 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 19:45:11 +0000 azjax 2667694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both sides are potluck-ish. That is, the host always provides enough, but in the spirit of sharing and abundance the guests tend to each bring a little something. autumnlove on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667589 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:56:29 +0000 autumnlove 2667589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My MIL loves cooking but she always likes an extra side or dessert. Umbreon on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667576 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:39:20 +0000 Umbreon 2667576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We bring something for my husbands family, but not with mine. I think the people in my family would be insulted if we brought a side dish, they all have sour much pride in their family meals. It took some getting used to for me too, I didn't know it was common before I met DH. GardenFloral on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667561 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:17:25 +0000 GardenFloral 2667561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In my family Thanksgiving was a whole day event. Everyone showed up to my Aunt's house mid-morning and all the ladies spent the day in the kitchen cooking together while everyone hung out, watched tv, etc. On my dad's side (much smaller) my grandmother handled all the cooking and we just showed up. Because of that it's a really foreign concept for me to potluck the holidays. DH and I regularly host Thanksgiving (as well as lots of other holiday dinners) and we provide everything right on down to dessert. The only thing our guests know to bring is anything alcoholic they might want because we don't drink so we never really keep anything in the house. We're not opposed to buying it and having it for our guests but it always feels like everyone drinks something different. DH's family usually only gets ALL together for Thanksgiving and usually the host does the main and then others bring sides and desserts. Everyone in the family tends to make "their" thing each and every year. Smurfette on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667553 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:10:54 +0000 Smurfette 2667553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With my family every holiday/get together we all bring something. DHs family we offer but they tell us we don't need to bring anything since we have a 5 hour drive. I might bring something sweet since if it doesn't need to be kept cold. Adira on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667549 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:08:46 +0000 Adira 2667549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With my parents or Hubs' mom, the hosts always provide everything. But Hubs' dad's family - it's always pot luck and everyone is asked to contribute. It was so weird to be initially to be invited somewhere and then told I had to bring something!! LuLu Mom on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667527 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 14:43:27 +0000 LuLu Mom 2667527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are both from pot luck types of families. The host usually provides the main protein + drinks and the rest of us fill in with the sides/appetizers/desserts. bushelandapeck on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667389 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 12:16:14 +0000 bushelandapeck 2667389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MaryM: I have a lot of food allergies as well and I do the same as you. I always offer to bring something I know I can eat since I know it can be challenging to accommodate allergies. Chillybear on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667385 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 12:13:14 +0000 Chillybear 2667385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In my family the host cooks the majority of the meal and if others ask they are tasked with bringing an appetizer or dessert. Bringing wine or beer is pretty standard, but the host always has plenty of options as well. My husbands family doesnt really know how to host a holiday meal in my opinion. They only serve the main dish and 2-3 sides. I usually end up bringing an appetizer, a side dish, and a dessert. plus whatever beer my husband is in the mood for. They don't ask us to bring it usually i volunteer to do it, I just know they don't plan for it and I find the meal is lacking otherwise. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667349 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 11:45:30 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2667349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Only when asked. I feel like providing at least all of the main courses is part of "hosting." I am starting to embrace potluck, and will bring what the host asks within reason. Unprompted, I always bring wine and sparkling cider if there are known non-drinkers/ under age attendees. Boogs on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667343 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 11:40:13 +0000 Boogs 2667343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I always offer and if they say whatever I would like I usually bring a side and/or dessert. MaryM on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667337 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 11:32:52 +0000 MaryM 2667337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was always taught to always offer at least twice. My grandmother used to make plenty for the meal and dessert, but everyone still brought a side or plate of cookies or something and there'd always be way too much food. DH's family is usually somewhat similar. We're hosting this year and DH is cooking the whole meal (unbeknownst to them, it's like 98% gluten free so I can enjoy it too). I fully expect people to still bring extra though. Last year, his sister brought an entire roast. My mom was usually better about planning out who liked to make what and assigned sides/desserts. When I went to family functions, I often provided cheese balls for appetizers because my family liked them and they travel well (I live 2 hours away). ETA: Since I started dealing with allergies a year ago, whether asked or not, we usually bring something to a dinner so that we're sure there's something I can eat. I figure it's the kindest way to deal with the allergy instead of having to ask for the recipes for everything the host has made. josina on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667313 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 11:07:19 +0000 josina 2667313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My dad's side the host provides the main dishes - meat, potatoes, corn, buns and everyone is asked to bring something to go with. With 30+ people it would be a lot of food for one person to provide. My mom's side is potluck style, everyone brings a dish which they divy up before hand so we know who's bringing what. My MIL will usually provide everything, but since the family has gotten bigger I'll usually offer to make/bring something. lilyann on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667308 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:59:59 +0000 lilyann 2667308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All holidays and celebrations tend to be potluck. Cherrybee on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667301 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:54:12 +0000 Cherrybee 2667301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Growing up, we just had Christmas dinner at home together just the three of us. Occasionally, we would get invited to my godmother's house for a New Year meal and she would provide everything, so I just presumed that this was more. As a grown up, I've hosted many "dinner parties" and I've always provided everything (and tried to make the meal as fancy as possible). Then, when I met my husband and started going to his family for Christmas, his mother provided everything but, then, she treats us like we are still children...... It was only when I asked to host and his mum started planning everything she was going to bring that it was revealed to me that this deemed normal in some families. I'm thinking back to meals I have attended in the past and cringing at how rude I may have appeared! T.H.O.U. on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667291 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:46:06 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2667291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think if I were really hosting and serving my own menu/food, I would limit it to max of like 6 adults and a few kids. So since family gatherings are more than that, its easier to do pot luck style. Also the host then just has to worry about a clean house! sapphire on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667288 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:43:44 +0000 sapphire 2667288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With my ILs, everyone is expected to bring something. Even just for a regular non holiday brunch. I find it a bit annoying because we all rotate hosting so I think the host could just make the meal and it would still turn out "fair." With my family, people sometimes bring an appetizer or dessert but nothing is expected. ValentineMommy on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667285 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:37:47 +0000 ValentineMommy 2667285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom does everything. I usually help her prepare stuff that day by coming an hour early. psw27 on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667280 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:34:39 +0000 psw27 2667280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are always staying with whoever we are with for the holidays so I can't bring anything since we fly there. But I always offer to help and usually bake something once I'm there. bushelandapeck on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667263 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:23:33 +0000 bushelandapeck 2667263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Growing up we never brought anything but as I've gotten older, and my parents/grandparents have aged as well, we all bring a dish to share to make things easier. We travel quite a bit so I usually end up bringing veggies/dip/hummus because it's easy to transport and make ahead. oliviaoblivia on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667260 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:22:11 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2667260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In my family host provides everything. Others being hostess gifts but not necessarily sides or desserts. In DHs family it seems to be different in different events. Thanksgiving is family only and host provides all. Christmas Eve is huge with family, friends, colleagues 100+ people. The host provides mains and the rest of the family chips in with everything else. I make six dozen cookies for that party. JennyD on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667253 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:15:23 +0000 JennyD 2667253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think it's fair to ask people to bring things. It's a lot of work and money to host a dozen people for a big meal. A turkey alone is $45! Mamaof2 on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667246 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:06:14 +0000 Mamaof2 2667246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I always offer - fancyfunction on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667242 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:04:52 +0000 fancyfunction 2667242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I always bring a dessert just b/c I grew up that bringing something to the host was the proper thing to do. It's not b/c we're tasked with doing so. If I'm hosting, people will ask what they can bring and I'll usually say dessert or something specific if they want to contribute. Anagram on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667238 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:02:03 +0000 Anagram 2667238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both sides of our family are flexible on this--sometimes we do pot luck events, where the "host" only does the décor and mains and drinks and everyone else brings sides and desserts. Sometimes we have events where one family is hosting and provides everything. But even at those events, many people show up with something (bottle of wine, a dessert, something) because in my husband's culture it's rude to accept hospitality without bringing a gift to the host, and usually that gift is more food or drink jhd on "If you go to family for holiday meals, do you bring a side?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-go-to-family-for-holiday-meals-do-you-bring-a-side#post-2667234 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:49:28 +0000 jhd 2667234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live two hours from my ILs. We always offer to bring something. Usually we bring dessert because I like to bake and it's easier to bring a long distance. My parents are local. I always offer to bring something and/or help my mom cook.