https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 05:58:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1192564 Sat, 02 Nov 2013 14:10:52 +0000 daniellemybelle 1192564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. It's so helpful to hear all your diverse experiences. I am still processing it but feeling less alone helps.</p> <p>@LulaBee: I am going to go to an ICAN meeting. I think I am deing with some trauma from the whole thing so I hope it will help - thank you for the suggestion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1183466 Wed, 30 Oct 2013 00:31:58 +0000 Kimberlybee 1183466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I hope you are able to heal in time and you most definitely gave birth to her. Don't ever doubt that. She grew inside of you, she's a part of you. I had a scheduled C-section because my baby was semi-breeched and I just had to have faith and trust that I would be in good hands in the process. I am so thankful and feel so blessed for modern medical technology that helped me become a mommy. My desire to be a mother exceeded any expectations I had for a smooth delivery or recovery. I was hoping and praying for the best but expected the worst really. </p> <p>Although I had a great experience with my C-section and recovery, the very important thing is I have a healthy baby to hold, love, and care for. For 9 months, 39 weeks to be exact in my case, I knew she was growing inside me, felt her movements and kicks, and knew she depended on me for a safe haven to grow. On my toughest days, even with lack of sleep, I just look at her and think how amazing it is that she grew inside my womb. Our bond as a mother and child will last forever through time and space. Nobody can deny me my euphoric state of mind and ultimately the most important role of my life which is being her mother. I gave birth to my daughter via c-section and I am ecstatic that I am finally a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181877 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:53:34 +0000 Corduroy 1181877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations on the birth of your baby!</p> <p>+1 to what @blackbird said "Being sore and having stitches in your vagina doesn't make you a mom." </p> <p>You gave birth to your baby. I can't know what you're feeling but as someone who had an unmedicated, vaginal birth I can attest to the fact that there was no romantic "birth experience" at the end of my 51 hours of labor. Rainbows and warm fuzzies did not shoot out of my vagina with the baby. I certainly didn't feel like I gave birth in the way I had expected to feel it. Yes, I felt every minute of the long labor but the feeling/emotion I had about delivery was shock - "that BABY just came out of me????" I felt as shocked and disconnected as I would have if someone pulled a dinosaur from my nose.</p> <p>I had, and posted about, birth disappointment even though I got everything I wanted. Birth is an enormous, life altering experience swimming in hormones and everyone is going to handle it differently. You are a mom, you gave birth to your baby. </p> <p>Give yourself time to sort out your feelings. I found it helpful to research post traumatic birth resources even though I ultimately didn't identify myself as having PTSD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181847 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:38:19 +0000 cyndistar3 1181847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Almost 17 months later and I still don't feel like I can say I gave birth and I find my self automatically correcting people that say I gave birth. I'm not even sure why, I am not that upset about it anymore but it feels more accurate to say that she was surgically removed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181771 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:14:12 +0000 Anutka 1181771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I heard a very experienced and wise doula talk about this topic this weekend. She strongly encourages to stop using the word "section".<br /> "The woman did not have a 'C-section', as if it is something that was done to her or for her. She had a Cesarean birth, or a surgical birth because SHE gave birth". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181461 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:57:17 +0000 plantains 1181461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyMats: Are you me?!! Wow, we had the same exact birth experience! </p> <p>@daniellemybelle: Congratulations, I didn't realise you had the baby. I am sorry you are struggling, your feelings are perfectly valid.</p> <p>I must admit that this isn't something I struggled with. I was just glad the baby made it out and we were both okay. I was born by c-section myself and so I always knew that it was a possibility. </p> <p>The recovery from c-section plus insanity of milk coming in and gushing everywhere whenever DD cried was more than enough to remind me that I gave birth hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181413 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:43:30 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1181413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: At 4 months out, I still couldn't look back on S's birth experience without crying. I'm not sure when it was that I finally started to accept that it was just a crappy situation...but he's happy and healthy and move on. </p> <p>Having a C-section is hard...you're having major abdominal surgery and then have to take care of a baby immediately afterwards who is solely dependent on you for food if you're breastfeeding and heavily dependent on you period if you're formula feeding. Birth in itself is a huge experience, and when it doesn't go as planned, and you have to have surgery, it's a very tough recovery period. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181360 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:31:12 +0000 Bookish 1181360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I may have seen your story before but forgotten.... minus the NICU (instead we had a jaundice baby, she was on light blankets for two days) this is exactly what happened to us, stuck head and all.</p> <p>I pushed for three stinking hours before my c-section. I nearly gave birth both ways! It was a sucky, traumatic thing, and I do not look back on it fondly, but I'm only 4 months out. To be quite honest I don't think of it much at all...but when I look back at pics, I can see how happy we all were despite the trauma and pain. So yeah, I may not refer to it in happy terms, or even use the word 'give birth,' when I talk about it to others, but I know us c-section moms are *not* failures!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181290 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:12:30 +0000 mamimami 1181290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a c-section, but I had some mixed feelings after my first baby was born and my advice is to try and shelve the issue for awhile, because hormones are crazy and it's not a good time to process. Tell yourself you'll think it over 6 weeks or more down the road because we mamas are not really thinking straight right after birth! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth/page/2#post-1181189 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:45:35 +0000 ElbieKay 1181189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a pretty pragmatic person who is also hoping for a natural birth. If I wind up with a c-section, I expect I will be disappointed, and I might even feel the way you do a bit. But I would probably, knowing me, focus on the fact that (1) If a c-section was not available as an option, mom and/or baby might not survive the birth; (2) I can't go back and change what happened, so I may as well focus on bonding with my baby now; (3) the baby is still your genetic child* and nothing can change that fact, regardless of how s/he made his/her appearance in the world.</p> <p>*This will be the case for me, and for a vast majority of moms. It's NOT a commentary on surrogate moms, egg donors, adoptive parents, etc., but it might help the OP with her feelings which is why I mentioned it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181188 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:45:28 +0000 Mrs. Train 1181188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wheres_c: beautiful sentiment. If it wasn't for the c section my twins and I probably wouldn't be here. I am so sorry you feel this way. I do think it is crazy talk, but it's valid crazy talk because it's how you are feeling. I also just think that a child doesn't have to be earned by giving birth. As an adoptive mom it changes my perspective a lot as to what motherhood has to be and how a child should come into my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181128 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:33:41 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1181128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sort of feel this way especially since I had a scheduled C-section. I never labored or pushed. Also because of the complication that forced my scheduled C-section, I may never labor ever since I'm probably not a candidate for a VBAC. Even though I don't necessarily feel like I gave birth, I had lots of time prior to really understand that IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW she got here. She was coming out, and I was going to be and am now a mother. I was just so happy that I lived in a time with modern medicine that could have allowed me to have her grow and be born healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181110 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:30:26 +0000 BlueWolverine 1181110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt like this as well after my unexpected C-section. However, I think you'll find that the feeling fades over time. Yes, we all absolutely gave birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181082 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:25:29 +0000 Mrsbells 1181082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I had a c-section and I also felt the same way in the beginning. I felt passive. I just lay there and didnt do anything and then my baby entered the world. I bothered me in the beginning because I really wanted a natural birth. But then I gained more perspective when two of my friends had complications that led to losses of their full term baby. I realized I was just blessed to have her alive and well regardless of how she made it here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181056 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:18:58 +0000 blackbird 1181056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hooooooney, you carried that baby for 9 months. You definitely gave birth to her in my opinion. </p> <p>Being sore and having stitches in your vagina doesn't make you a mom. I don't know when we all started putting so much pressure on ourselves to give birth "the right/best/whatever adjective" way, but it's doing everybody a disservice. You birthed a baby, period! Just not through your vagina :) I hope as time goes on, this becomes a minimal blip on the radar for you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181044 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:15:54 +0000 LuLu Mom 1181044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worked hard for my daughter to be in this world, even if the outcome wasn't what I wanted or expected, I do not feel like I missed out on an experience. Maybe it's because I pushed hard for 2 1/2 hours and gave it my best and I still recovered from both my c-section and my attempt at a vaginal birth, but I in no way feel robbed of my experience. I did what was best for the health of my child and my health. And I in no way regret it. And I am fine with having another c-section when the times comes to deliver the next child, in a way I'm looking forward to it because I'm going in knowing it will happen. I hope it gets easier for you, you are a great momma no matter how your LO came into this world! Recovering from a c-section is not easy, you are strong &amp; a wonderful mother!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181037 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:14:01 +0000 oscarthegoon 1181037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt very disappointed for a while about it. I tried and failed to deliver vaginally, and was puking and shaking from all the drugs in my system by the time my unplanned c-section was over, I could barely hold my baby. I felt like a big failure and I felt cheated out of the birth experience I was supposed to have. It bothered me a lot for a long time, probably more than a year. But ultimately I'm just really glad that surgical intervention was available. If it was 200 years ago my baby and I might both have died! As a testament to how much my thinking has changed about it, when I first saw the title of your post I was initially a little annoyed, like "Of course I gave birth! How ridiculous!" :happy: All that matters in the end is that your daughter is here and you are both healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181027 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:09:40 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1181027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: "The way your baby enters the world does not define you as a woman, or as a mother."</p> <p>Exactly this!</p> <p>I had an emergency C-section after pushing for 2+ hours. It was by far the worst possible scenario I could think of. He got stuck on my pelvic bone and it just wasn't happening. I felt pretty crappy afterwards, especially since he had to be sent to the NICU for 2 days following birth. It was not at all what I was expecting for the birth of my son, and I wasn't going in expecting all that much.</p> <p>It took me a long time to get over the trauma of his birth, and I think that's ok. 13 months later, I'm now starting to look back on it and remember the times leading up to his birth...my first contraction, our rush to the hospital and our time at home and can think back fondly. Give yourself some time. You're high on emotion right now and low on sleep...there will be a day that you look back and feel proud of what you went through for your baby to be here...and you earned every ounce of your LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181023 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:08:49 +0000 Sadieloo 1181023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I agree with what others have said. You absolutely gave birth to her. Even more amazing and important, you provided her with a loving, safe and healthy environment to develop and grow, which will undoubtedly continue on the outside. Sending you lots of hugs. Being a new mommies tough - so many things to work through emotionally , physically and spiritually both expected and unexpected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181018 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:08:15 +0000 LovelyPlum 1181018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending you hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1181004 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:05:45 +0000 mediagirl 1181004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you gave birth to her! She was born, that's the amazing thing. You grew her in your body for however many weeks you carried her. Then, you just needed a little extra help with her entering the world. You did an AMAZING job! You have a baby that you grew inside of you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180995 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 08:03:08 +0000 JerricaBenton 1180995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's an interesting topic. I guess I feel that I can't relate to vaginal birth stories and a bit like I missed out on a human experience. It's never bothered me though. Instead I think, isn't it amazing that I was able to have a healthy baby without trauma to her or me? I had been planning for a natural birth and definitely didn't 'want' a c-section. Once it was happening though, I was confident that it was the best choice for us. My recovery was very easy though, so maybe that has something to do with my positive feeling overall. I also know that LO wouldn't have come out vaginally without major trauma for both of us (in the best case scenario) and we'd have likely ended up with an emergency surgery. I hope you find peace with your birth experience. You created, nurtured and grew your baby. It might also help to consider that your child will never care about whether they were born vaginally or via c-section! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180861 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 07:07:22 +0000 LulaBee 1180861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I absolutely felt the same way... felt like a failure, like I didn't "birth" my daughter, felt traumatized by the entire experience. But I went to ICAN meetings, saw a therapist, and loved on my baby girl. She's mine, and even though I may not say I "gave birth" to her- that is what happened. </p> <p>15 months later and I do still struggle with it on some days, or when reading a thread like this. But the hope of a VBAC and the absolute joy that my daughter brings me every day make it okay. Hang in there, it will get better- but I understand how it can totally overwhelm you those first few months. Talk to someone, to as many people as possible so you don't just interalize it and feel bad about it. </p> <p>You made and grew a person! That's amazing! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180830 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 06:24:56 +0000 looch 1180830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the main thing to remember is that the further away you are from a certain event, the less it bothers you. I was really devastated when I couldn't breastfeed my son, the guilt I felt was unreal. I cried for months. Now, he's almost three and I don't feel so beat up about it any more.</p> <p>Let's face it, when your daughter is in kindergarten and you're called into the prinicpal's office because she did whatever, it wasn't because of the way she came into the world. Try to be gentle on yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180829 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 06:23:51 +0000 Grace 1180829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, I can sort of see what you mean. I laboured for 25 hours and pushed for 2 before my c-sec, so I kinda feel like I cheated and skipped the whole "giving birth" part. But to be honest, I was in so much unproductive useless pain that I really don't care. I just wanted it over. I think that the other ladies are right - remember that you grew a human! That's huge and in my opinion way harder than giving birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180827 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 06:22:31 +0000 honeybear 1180827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll be a cheerleader for moms who gave birth by c-section. I know first-hand the emotional fallout that a surgical birth can have when it wasn't what you expected or wanted. I felt devastated, even though I felt certain it was what was best for my baby. I completely agree with @wheres_c: It is the ultimate act of love, and you made this sacrifice before you had even seen your child. I think that's incredibly selfless! </p> <p>I echo the other commenters in recommending that you find someone to talk to. I have had fantastic experiences with ICAN. Just talking things through with mothers who have been through it helped immensely. Also, this may sound silly, but it helped me a lot in the early days to remember to smile at my baby as much as possible, even though it was sometimes through tears. I feel like we developed an even closer bond because we had both been through hell and back right at the start. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180774 Tue, 29 Oct 2013 01:38:45 +0000 BabyMats 1180774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people think it's strange but I had my husband record my c section so I can see them pull him out and what they did. Let me tell u. U give birth! I had an emergency c section after 30+ hours of labor. An epidural that came out and stopped working and my drugs wearing off during the c section where I started yelling. Give yourself a break. U don't need to earn your baby. You carried her for 9 months and were willing to be able to do anything to bring her into this world healthy. A big hug from me to u. I'm sorry u feel this way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180649 Mon, 28 Oct 2013 22:21:19 +0000 sarac 1180649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always feel so bad when I hear women say this! Your csection does not mean any less than someone's vaginal birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180630 Mon, 28 Oct 2013 21:56:37 +0000 wheres_c 1180630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I felt (and still feel) the same way. I feel like I failed at giving birth....the most natural thing ever.</p> <p>Joining an ICAN group, and seeing a therapist has definitely helped. </p> <p>One thing that an ICAN leader told me that helped a lot was: human mothers are the only animals who will willingly lay down and submit to a knife in order to save the life of our unborn child. It is the ultimate act of love for our babies.</p> <p>When I'm feeling down about things, I think about that, and about the possibility of a VBAC for #2.<br /> It's okay to mourn the loss of your anticipated birth experience. If you ever want to chat, wall me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-c-section-do-you-feel-like-you-gave-birth#post-1180470 Mon, 28 Oct 2013 20:24:49 +0000 googly-eyes 1180470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I'm sorry, I reread that and realized it sounds like I'm telling you how to feel, and that's not how I mean it..I just mean you don't have anything to feel guilt (or whatever the exact emotion is) about. </p>