https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 23:25:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2032823 Tue, 20 Jan 2015 16:39:41 +0000 erinpye 2032823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never had an age in mind, other than a general late 20s- mid/ late 30s. Even though I had my first baby in my 20s, I managed to travel the world extensively, lived abroad, dated, had fun, lived on my own, got an education, was care-free, established a career, and learned how to be responsible. I didn't miss anything by not waiting for babies until my 30s. </p> <p>I had my second and last baby 2 weeks after my 30th bday. I don't feel too old or too young. And I wouldn't feel too old if we weren't done having babies for a few years yet. Everyone is different, but I don't love the 'having babies in your 20s means you miss out' comments, or the '35 is too damn old and you won't have the same energy' comments either. I think a lot of things factor in, and everyone is so very different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2032690 Tue, 20 Jan 2015 15:29:52 +0000 plantains 2032690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if a kid got between me and multiple cucumber martinis and Manhattan roof bars in my 20s I would have been a sad, sad plantain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2018919 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 02:46:54 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2018919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We're about to have our first. I'm 36. I feel so ready and so very excited to start this chapter of our lives. We lived our 20's the way we wanted to, without having to be responsible for anyone (lots of travel, late nights out, etc.). Our early 30's were kind of spent just being a married couple and learning how to be parents with our dog. (Ha) Now, at 36 and 37, we just feel so blessed to welcome a baby into our lives. I certainly see the pluses of starting earlier, but I'm glad we didn't. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2018889 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 00:35:01 +0000 ShayNanigans 2018889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't even think about it. Pregnant at 25/30/35/40 - who cares? You do it when the time's right. Not before, and not after. The universe is funny that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008659 Sun, 04 Jan 2015 07:12:04 +0000 marionberry 2008659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will have 3 by the time I'm 30 and maybe one more by 35 if we decide it's in the cards. Since my husband is much older than me (mid 50s) I wouldn't try past that, given we know that the time he'll get with our kids is more limited than if he were 35. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008626 Sun, 04 Jan 2015 01:47:59 +0000 birdofafeather 2008626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My reason for personally hoping I'm done TTC by 35 is due to child spacing. Had my first at (just under) 29 and want 3 within 5 years spread. But life gets in the way so I wouldn't stop TTC at a certain age but when we felt our family was complete. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008378 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 21:08:19 +0000 FannyMae 2008378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: my father was also 37 when I was born, and like you I was 28 when he passed away aged 65. It was a pretty good to spend those 28 years with him :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008187 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 18:25:19 +0000 sarac 2008187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>An awful lot of offense being taken in this thread. I would personally never choose to have children past 35, if I had the choice, which I did. The reason? My father was 37 when I was born, and he died when I was 28. So I have a pretty big interest in having children as young as possible, which for me, was 27.</p> <p>It's easy to make assumptions about why people feel the way that they do, but they're rarely correct. I have no interest in the age that other people choose to have children at - I just had a very specific desire for myself, due to my life circumstances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008165 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 17:48:05 +0000 FannyMae 2008165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I had a choice, and I wanted to TTC over 35, then absolutely. I'm 32 at the moment, and if the urge to reproduce past my 35th birthday comes up then I'll go for it. I'm sure if its not meant to happen then my body will let me know, whether its now or after 35. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2008140 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 17:05:06 +0000 FaithFertility 2008140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: If I could have "planned" it I would have been done by 35 for sure, but life is harder to plan for some than others... we just had our DD and I am 29 It took us 3 yrs to have her, I pray the next do not take as long, we want 3 kiddos sooo 35 is probably in the cards.... again "if" I could plan I'd love them to be about 1 1/2- 2 yrs apart..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2007988 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:59:57 +0000 Cherrybee 2007988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: That's such a good point! My inlaws are the same age as my mum but are in way better shape. I'm infinitely less fit in my 30s than I was in my 20s but that's more related to my poor lifestyle choices - poor diet, no exercise - rather than the natural aging process. So I shoukd have said"I wish I had stayed fit into my thirties to have my children" rather than "I should have had my kids in my twenties when I was fit"!!! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/4#post-2007975 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:49:26 +0000 Raindrop 2007975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is an interesting thread.</p> <p>If I had a choice... I don't think I would ttc at 35+.</p> <p>BUT life is not as simple as that and choices are not as simple as that... espeically when it comes to kids.</p> <p>If having kids earlier meant settling for a guy that was not that great... then I would say yes I would ttc at 35+ if it meant I could have a kid with a great guy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007950 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:26:58 +0000 Madison43 2007950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: "my 20s were for bad decisions" - yes, exactly! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007937 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:17:30 +0000 Anagram 2007937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally wasn't ready for marriage or kids in my 20's. Not ready at alllllll......In my 20's, I honestly never wanted to get married and couldn't even imagine having a kid and my life revolved around social events and traveling the world and dating as many interesting foreign boys as possible, haha.</p> <p>After 30, I started seeing marriage and kids as an option rather than a death sentence, haha. Side benefits were that I married someone my age who was ready for kids and financially ready for fatherhood, so it made it easy to jump right in without needing time to save money, etc.</p> <p>So for me, I can see having kids after 35. I'll be 35 when we have LO #2 and althogh I'm pretty sure we're 2 and through just because I can't deal with this hyperemesis a 3rd time, but if I didn't have HG I'd be fine with having a 3rd after 35.</p> <p>My mom had 6 kids, the last of us were when she was 36 and 41 (surprise!) and she's very "young" for her age--she says it's cause she has to be to keep up with us, haha. But she's in much better health and more active than my MIL, who is a decade younger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007931 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:10:55 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2007931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: thank you. So true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007927 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:05:58 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2007927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: same here! I'm 36 and literally don't feel like I have less energy at all than when I was in my 20s!! We might TTC for #2 when im 37. No problem! I'm glad I lived my 20s child free and was able to travel child free etc! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007860 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 12:07:56 +0000 meredithNYC 2007860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Add me to the list of people who are healthier and in better shape than they ever were in their 20's. My twenties were for bad decisions, lol. The sleep deprivation, on the other hand, would have been a lot easier on me had I given birth ten years ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007855 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 12:03:02 +0000 mrscobee 2007855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: your story could be mine (hopefully). I just found out I'm pregnant at almost 30. Didn't even think about trying til recently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007639 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 08:02:37 +0000 winniebee 2007639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shortcake: lol!</p> <p>I really am surprised at how many are so vehemently opposed to children after. 35. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007638 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 07:58:30 +0000 winniebee 2007638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interestingly I met my husband at age 21 but we were both on pretty serious career tracks and didn't marry til 29 and didn't even think about kids til 30. It was a conscious choice that I'm glad we made. I'm 34 and just had #2 and am happy with where things are. Turning 35 in a few months won't deter me from having more it's other stuff like having had difficult pregnancies and just maybe being done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007604 Sat, 03 Jan 2015 05:23:21 +0000 Cherrybee 2007604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to ignore the fact that people were/weren't offended by this thread and just answer the question! :happy: </p> <p>I was 32 when I had #1 and will be very close to 35 when we start TTC #2. I'm not worried about all my eggs drying up or anything (!) but I really think it would have been better for me to have had my children earlier. Ten years ago, I could go out until 3am and still get up for work in the morning, several nights a week. Now, at almost 34, I need 9 full hours of quality sleep per night to even function. Ten years ago, I was a lot more flexible; I used to leave washing up on the side overnight and dump laundry on the bedroom floor. Now I'm totally set in my ways, I like things just so and am stressed out by all the mess and the noise. Unlike pps, I earn slightly more than I did in my twenties but not much and I'm possibly facing redundancy this year. </p> <p>Of course, the other side of that is I had a damn good time in my twenties and I wouldn't take a minute of it back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007368 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:13:40 +0000 MrsTiz 2007368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't. If I didn't have any children before I was 30 I wouldn't have any at all. Nothing at all to do with AMA but more to do with the fact that I don't want to be an older mother and want my kids grown by the time I'm retired :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007358 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:09:04 +0000 catlady 2007358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had my first at 32 and would like to have our second and be done at 35, but that's really for spacing reasons. I'm almost 34 now and I feel great so I don't think that will change much in a year. I'm definitely healthier now than when I was in my 20s! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007348 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:02:16 +0000 hellobeeboston 2007348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I did/do have the choice and yes! Going to be 35 next month and TTC #2. I have/had no timeline. We just wanted to do things as they felt right at that time in our lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007265 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 20:08:32 +0000 avivoca 2007265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before I had H, I wanted two kids and I wanted to be done by the time I was 30. But then I had her, and things changed. I'll be 30 in October, and we are not close to starting to TTC. So, We still want two kids, but I'll be in my 30's and that's okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007263 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 20:07:34 +0000 californiadreams 2007263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to be done before 30, then I decided to pursue my PhD and changed it to being done by 35, then I got pregnant by accident before I was done school so I took longer to finish school AND got a full time job exactly in the field I wanted...so here I am at 34 and just starting to TTC for #2. I just missed being done before my 35th bday, but I hope to give birth to #2 while I am still 35. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007242 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 19:54:08 +0000 Applesandbananas 2007242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not. I want to be done by 29 at the max. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007236 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 19:48:56 +0000 mrsrugbee 2007236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be opposed to it but I'm 25 and pregnant with #2 already so I think by 35 I'll be done just because of spacing. I don't need a dozen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007230 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 19:43:45 +0000 Madison43 2007230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, I'll be 35 when we start to TTC number 2 in a few months, so I guess I'm ok with it :wink: This is an odd question for me to answer because I never had a timeline of when I wanted to have kids -- so it never occurred to me to disappointed that I won't be finished having kids by 35. There was a lot that I wanted to do before I had kids (law school and achieving a certain amount of professional success mainly) and those things take time. Plus I really really enjoyed my 20s and early 30s (both single and with DH), and feel like if I'd had children earlier, I would have missed out on some really great experiences. That said, because the clock is undeniably ticking, I do feel a tiny twinge of jealously for those of you that are younger and don't have to take your own age in account when spacing future siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-ttc-at-35/page/3#post-2007159 Fri, 02 Jan 2015 18:55:12 +0000 Ms.Badger 2007159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had L when I was 29, planned to have a second 4 years (give or take later) at 33 - sounds like a great plan right? Well, when L passed away that changed everything. Now I'll have a baby at 31 and still plan to have a 4 or so year gap and have my second at 35. To me, maintaining the gap I wanted was more important than not crossing this AMA, 35 years old line (although I reserve the right to get baby fever and end up with LOs closer in age). I don't think that "AMA", over 35-thing American doctors use is the most important factor in deciding what's best for my family (although I consider it, because it does have implications on egg and sperm health). </p>