Hellobee Boards Topic: If you had the first grandchild...

Hellobee Boards Topic: If you had the first grandchild... https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 14:03:49 +0000 blackbird on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333630 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 09:20:10 +0000 blackbird 2333630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @My Only Sunshine: hello creeper! catlady on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333629 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 09:18:50 +0000 catlady 2333629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have the first (and only) on my side, and my dad is obsessed with her. Right now it seems likely that my brother will never have kids so hopefully I can at least give LO a sibling at some point so it's not just her. On DH's side, she's the third and youngest grandchild so MIL and FIL obviously still dote on her but it seems a little healthier since they have other grandkids. My Only Sunshine on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333478 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 07:05:07 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2333478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @SweetiePie: When I was pregnant, my MIL told me, "Your baby is all I think about." So I'm right with you with the unhealthy obsession. My DH is actually an only child, but even his cousins having kids took some of the overbearing attention off us. looch on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333465 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 06:54:53 +0000 looch 2333465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We had the first on my side, my son was about 2.5 when my nephew (brother's child) was born. My parents are still obsessed with my son, much more so than my nephew because they see him a lot more...every day, more or less. With my nephew, they saw him maybe twice a week? FaithFertility on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333428 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 05:23:59 +0000 FaithFertility 2333428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DD is first on my side and 2nd of DH side, I think their attention to DD is good! DD over trumps it all....lol but I can totally see any baby in our family being treated the same! Dandelion on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333415 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 03:13:05 +0000 Dandelion 2333415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents have 4 grandchildren now and are obsessed with every one of them. SweetiePie on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333400 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 00:06:37 +0000 SweetiePie 2333400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Braveturtle: He enables it and it's frustrating because before my son was born we were on the same page. I think he just doesn't want to have drama with them. It's easier to have drama with me ;-) Which I sorta get. This is just a crappy situation because it doesn't seem like there's a solution that makes anyone happy. 1-2 times a week isn't enough for them but it's all I can put up with. It's frustrating that they have this "more more more!" mentality. My parents see my son every 2-3 months because they are out of state. So it's infuriating to me that they feel they don't get enough AND get jealous when I go visit my parents or they come to visit and I'd like a weekend alone with them. It just seems so greedy and I'm not sure how to handle it. So, once again, I pray my BIL has a kid soon and it helps :-) misolee on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333379 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 23:08:33 +0000 misolee 2333379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ First on my side and my bro just got married so they won't be having kids for awhile. My parents are not obsessed but we live 25 min away and go to church together. They see her at church and she goes over there about once a week. I think it's good for LO to be close to grandparents and receive their love too. She's three but loves playing with grandma. My Inlaws are far away in another continent. Thank goodness :wink: Braveturtle on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333365 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 22:47:11 +0000 Braveturtle 2333365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ First, it helped immensely when my BIL/SIL had their baby, the second grandchild. They also lived practically next door to my inlaws and it really took the pressure off me for a bit. I had a pretty extreme situation with my inlaws, but I really advise standing your ground with you MIL and having your DH help. My inlaws were so overbearing and overinvolved that it really exacerbated my post-partum depression, which was delayed and hit around 9 months when I had to stop nursing my son. It's been very hard changing things and my inlaws seeing us and DS less often, since it was a pretty drastic change for everyone, but it has saved my mental and emotional well-being. How is your DH about it all? Does he think it's too much also, or does he kind of enable it? SweetiePie on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333347 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 22:13:24 +0000 SweetiePie 2333347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @regberadaisy: Im recently back to SAH. And yeah, 1-2 times a week is a lot. And she complains it's not enough. I think that's what ticks me off. She would literally come every day if it were up to her. I'm just not used to that. And I am close to my mom! But she is very laid back and has her own life. My MIL also smothers him when she's with him. So it's not just the frequency - it's how she behaves when she does visit. She doesn't let him get away from her! I clearly had an annoying encounter with this situation today and I'm just pissy. Haha. regberadaisy on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333335 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 22:01:49 +0000 regberadaisy 2333335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Sounds like she's bored. I'm sure your LO is absolutely fantastic. But he sounds like the most exciting thing going on in her life right now. In that case, I think having a another grandchild, especially one closer will definitely take the pressure off you. Take advantage of it! LOL Neither of my girls are the first on either side. I'm not sure if my ILs have a favorite. MIL is too selfish to dote on anyone else. :P They live 10 minutes away and can go 2 weeks without seeing the girls. Despite us making an effort and hosting all the freaking time. Right now I would kinda kill for someone who wanted to see my kid that much. If she babysits too! ;) But, seriously, 2x a week when she lives an hour away is a lot! Do you WOH or SAH? SweetiePie on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333331 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 21:55:26 +0000 SweetiePie 2333331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: I want to stress unhealthy obsession - my MIL hasn't worked in almost 40 years and her kids have been out of her house for almost 20! So she truly has no other interests or obligations. So while you said your mom has a life of her own, so does mine...MIL does not. So it is HARD. It has strained our relationship even further because she thinks seeing my son 1-2 times per week isn't enough and has had "talks" with my husband about it. I just wonder if having another grandchild will at least take some of that off of us :bummed: Mrs. Pen on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333312 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 21:19:48 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2333312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine wasn't the first- but he is only six months younger than the first grandchild! My parents weren't obsessed to the extent you described though. They were overjoyed and excited, my mom came over whenever I asked to help with food or baby holding so I could sleep. She adores being a grandma, but she still has her own life too (also, three of my younger siblings still live at home- so there's that too) twodoghouse on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333274 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 20:30:44 +0000 twodoghouse 2333274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @LovelyPlum: If only they lived closer! Thank goodness for FaceTime at least! LovelyPlum on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333250 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 20:01:12 +0000 LovelyPlum 2333250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @twodoghouse: this makes me LOL. Your parents have to be in heaven! wonderstruck on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333205 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 19:15:39 +0000 wonderstruck 2333205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My SIL had the first grandchild. Nothing really changed as far as how much MIL sees them when we had our kids, but they are the geographically closer ones and they use the ILs as their childcare, so a bit of a different situation. Foodnerd81 on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333200 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 19:11:48 +0000 Foodnerd81 2333200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ C is the first grandchild on dhs side and the 3rd on my side, but the first granddaughter. I would say she seems equally adored from both sides, but no one is particularly insistent on seeing her all the time or anything. They all love to see her and getting updates, which I'm happy to give, but we live pretty far from most of our family and everyone gets that it is difficult to travel. I am pretty comfortable with the level of obsession. :) For my parents the two grandsons live much closer (within an hour) and they see them much more often, but still not all the time. Dhs grandma lives only an hour and a half away from us and just loooooves seeing C. yerpie110 on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333199 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 19:10:08 +0000 yerpie110 2333199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have the first on both sides (she's 2.5yo). My brother is not married and no where near having kids, but my SIL just had her first. My MIL made it blatantly obvious that my LO is her favorite and that will never change. My SIL has been obviously hurt by this, and my MIL's response, to quote her directly, was, "I can't change my heart's one true desire." Good times. autumnlove on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333184 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 18:48:29 +0000 autumnlove 2333184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have the first and my in laws are nearby but they have never been obsessed. :-p My MIL retired after LO 2 was born and we still don't see her that much considering that she lives blocks away. BandDmommy on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333183 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 18:47:56 +0000 BandDmommy 2333183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are first to have kids in DHs side. We aren't close with his family but they tend to send lots of gifts but not visit much. They are second grandchild on my side and my parents are obsessed with my kids. They are actually moving closer to us. My brother is divorced and has a nasty custody battle with his ex-wife. twodoghouse on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333160 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 18:10:28 +0000 twodoghouse 2333160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents had 4 grandkids in one year (two sets of twins) and they have an incredible capacity for obsession with all 4 kids. I do think they have a favorite (one of my kids, haha!) but they seem pretty evenly obsessed with all of the kids. They are evenly distanced (across the country) from my kids and my sister's though. yoursilverlining on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333155 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 18:06:05 +0000 yoursilverlining 2333155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have the only grandchild on both sides and DH is an only so LO will always be the Christ child to MIL :silly: skipra on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333124 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 17:20:54 +0000 skipra 2333124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have the first grandchildren on DH's side. His family was crazy when I was pregnant and maybe the first couple months. Now they are barely involved at all. They live an hour away and visit us 2-3 times a year max (birthdays only). They only ask for pictures if they are visiting extended family to show off. As a comparison of what can change in less than 2 years - they were at the hospital the morning after LO1 was born and visited our house a few days after that and made lots of plans to see us for the following few months. With LO2 they came to our house to meet him a couple weeks after he was born and didn't even make any other plans to see us for like 3 months after that. JennyLayneAZ on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333123 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 17:17:01 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2333123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ours will be the first grandchild for my parents. Unless we have more he/she will be the only as my siblings didn't have any and aren't planning on any. So we will see how it goes but my parents are super excited. I'm just happy knowing we will have a babysitter anytime we need one lol 2littlepumpkins on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333121 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 17:15:41 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2333121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Somewhat but not really. There's enough attention to go around for all of them so far but there are only a few! Punky on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333120 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 17:14:51 +0000 Punky 2333120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have it both ways, the first on one side and the 5th on the other. The in-laws are obsessed (their first) but my husband's siblings are no where near having kids, if they ever do, so it will always be this way. Now looking at the other side though, my mom's favorite is still the 1st (5 grandkids later). mrsjyw on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333116 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 17:09:44 +0000 mrsjyw 2333116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We had the first two and while married, my brother won't be having kids until another year or two and they live states away. Dh is an only. Keybee on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333108 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 16:59:39 +0000 Keybee 2333108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My sisters aren't anywhere near having kids. My sister in law had the first two on DH's side, grandma likes our baby too but will always be attached to her first, who she prefers, which is fine with me. oliviaoblivia on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333089 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 16:42:34 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2333089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It'll be a while before our younger sisters have kids. My three get all the attention. SweetiePie on "If you had the first grandchild..." https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-the-first-grandchild#post-2333076 Sun, 25 Oct 2015 16:24:49 +0000 SweetiePie 2333076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If you had the first grandchild, when your siblings or siblings-in-law had the 2nd one, did it take some pressure/attention off of you and your LO? We have my in-laws first grandchild and they are OBSESSED. Like, in an unhealthy way. We live an hour from them. My brother in law lives 5 miles away from them and just got engaged and they are planning on trying for kids right away. I just wonder if them having a baby (and a geographically much closer one) will take some of the pressure and constant insistence to see him away. In fact, I pray it does!