https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:27:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2424325 Sat, 16 Jan 2016 20:08:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2424325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 is a 9/6 birthday and if we went to public he would get pushed back a year. That itself would be fine but DS2 is due in mid May and they would be 20 months apart. I don't really feel like making them one year apart in school because of a 5 day difference from the cut off. People around me have told me to red shirt DS2 to keep them two years apart and that sounds even stranger to me. Obviously it would depend on readiness more for me but barring some problem we are going to send our kiddos to a local private school that has assured me they base kinder entrance on readiness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2424236 Sat, 16 Jan 2016 17:47:04 +0000 lilteacherbee 2424236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I agree. I have a cousin who has a December birthday (8/31 cut off). He was held back in both first and third grades (as a teacher, I now completely disagree with the way his situation was handled). He just turned 14 and is in the 6th grade! </p> <p>My boys will be one school grade apart because one has a Nov birthday (and will be one of the oldest) and the other has a August birthday (and will be one of the youngest). I may consider keeping LO2 in preschool an extra year, but probably not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2424231 Sat, 16 Jan 2016 17:25:16 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2424231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read on aha parenting that holding a child back a grade (due to failure) can have long lasting self esteem impact. My brother was held back between 2nd and 3rd and he had massive self esteem issues related to it after puberty hit. As a result I am not keen on redshirting but I would consider doing a private half day kinder as a compromise.</p> <p>ETA: I have a 3 YO born in August. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421791 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:37:01 +0000 BadgerMom 2421791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sailgrl18: Same, and I completely agree with you! I am also a July birthday and went to preschool an extra year. I am SOOOO glad I was the oldest in my class. I was bored in school sometimes, but I don't think that would have been any different if they had started me "on time." But I was so much more "ready" and "mature" than some of my classmates -- I think that made a huge difference on my academic career as a whole.</p> <p>DS is a late May birthday and our cutoff is 9/1 which makes it difficult to start him late. He is only 1.5 so we'll see I guess, but it would have been much less worrisome if he had had a summer (would have held him back for sure) or fall (would have started him on time, but still would have been "older") birthday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421789 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:36:49 +0000 honeybear 2421789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: We do this too. :) Although I'd say that while we do smaller amounts of "school" than traditional Kindergarten occupies in terms of time, it's not lighter as a substantive matter at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421788 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:36:18 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2421788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know anyone who does it here. Cut off is December 31 and JK starts the year they turn 4... Full day. My cousins daughter was 3 when she started as her birthday is end of December. My son is March so he will be on he older end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421785 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:35:53 +0000 autumnleaves 2421785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 was born August 31 at 11:14PM so he is right there on the cut off. My MIL already suggested that it would be good to hold him back because he will likely be little but we'll wait and see how he is doing with learning and maturity before making that decision. He is only 16 months now so it is too soon to know.<br /> I was one of the youngest in my class growing up and my second grade teacher wanted to hold back not just me but the other ones near the cut saying we were immature. 2 others got held back but I did not and I really did not struggle with school academically or socially.<br /> I don't understand the Sept 1 cut off - why Sept 1. It used to be October here and I know some places it's December. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421774 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:27:48 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2421774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't like this trend. When DH and I were growing up the cut off was 6/1. I have a birthday at the very end of April and DH is mid-May. So we were both always one of the very youngest in our classes. We also were both frequently bored in school; we definitely did not struggle academically at all. I cannot imagine how absolutely bored out of our minds we would have been had we been redshirted as kids. </p> <p>DD's birthday is the very end of May and I would definitely not redshirt her no matter what the cut off date where we lived at the time was. I can't see myself redshirting any kids for that matter without a serious medical or documented reason. Just because they're young is not a reason at all IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421765 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:18:55 +0000 JenGirl 2421765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably not, but I don't know. My son's only 4 months now but if we stay where we are and stick to the rules he'll make the cut off by 2 weeks (and be youngest in the class), but if we move he'll miss the cut off by 6 weeks. So either youngest or oldest in the class.</p> <p>If he's doing well I'd prefer to just send him when he's due. But if there's a really high rate of redshirting, I may have to reconsider. I just wish everyone stuck to the rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421762 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 12:13:37 +0000 winniebee 2421762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: in some districts you can apply to have her tested for early placement! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/3#post-2421743 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:59:46 +0000 sailgrl18 2421743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I have a July Birthday and was one of the youngest in my class and really not mature enough to start kindergarten. My parents held me back and I repeated K. It was probably the best thing they could have done for me and going forward I was generally ahead academically and had a better maturity level.</p> <p>So when we were planning on when to TTC we knew that we would plan around the cutoff dates. In NYC it is a very rigid 12/31 and they do not allow redshirting. We were very lucky and DS was born mid January. Currently due with #2 in March. I want to give him whatever advantage I can given what I know it did for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421736 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:52:21 +0000 Autumnmama79 2421736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is not a common practice in this part of Canada but I have had several discussions about it in a professional capacity. </p> <p>Here, children attend kindergarten the year they turn 5, even if that means December 31st. Almost no one holds back their children, regardless of gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421730 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:49:03 +0000 sorrycharlie 2421730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in RI, where the cut off is 9/1. I have a girl, but she'll turn 6 three weeks after starting kindergarten. I'm a little annoyed by that (I mean really, there could be a kid turning 5 only a day before school starts!) and afraid she's going to be very bored. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421715 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:40:17 +0000 SeptMomma12 2421715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Yes, that vicious cycle is what's giving us pause. My son just makes the cutoff by 2 weeks and we have all intentions of sending him on time (he's only 3 now), but I hate that he could have kids a year and a half older than him in his class because redshirting boys has become so common here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421701 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:26:45 +0000 Pirouette 2421701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: yes! the whole having a kid thing made NYC not quite as affordable :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421665 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:11:58 +0000 hilsy85 2421665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: ah! didn't know you'd moved--exciting! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421663 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:11:07 +0000 snowjewelz 2421663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a girl, and we don't cut off at our school district so as long as she's doing well and keeping up we don't plan to hold her back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421661 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:09:51 +0000 Pirouette 2421661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: we were, but unfortunately we're in the 'burbs now, where redshirting is definitely rampant! I really wish all of NY was standardized like that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421659 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:09:14 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2421659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our cutoff for both public and most private schools is Sept 1. DS was born Sept 24, so we're following the rules, but he will be one of the oldest in his class. </p> <p>Our current daycare moves kids up right around their birthdays, but the daycare we're hoping to transfer to next year uses the strict Sept 1 cutoff. So he's "repeating" toddlers next year, even though he turns 2 in September. I'm a little bummed about this, because right now he does really well surrounded by older kids -- he rises up to meet them in terms of walking/language/play. I'm not quite ready to lose that, but oh well... I do think it will be an advantage when he is older - I was one of the oldest in my class, and it was great for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421632 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:03:42 +0000 hilsy85 2421632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: you're in NY right? I believe that you are not allowed to redshirt here--they must go to school the year they turn 5, unless you plan to just enroll them in 1st grade the next year. <a href="http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/1CC25F63-74E8-41A6-8031-490F206F148D/0/A101.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/1CC25F63-74E8-41A6-8031-490F206F148D/0/A101.pdf</a></p> <p>Kind of nice to not have to worry about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421563 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:34:52 +0000 skipra 2421563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: Yes I thought that too. Maybe there are just some major misconceptions on Montessori or that kids that do well with it maybe have traits that predispose them to do poorly in traditional settings. I know at least one girl kept getting kicked out of her daycare, did great in Montessori and is majorly struggling in first grade. Probably a good portion of the problem are behavior issues causing academic issues. But I am only speaking of the few cases I have heard about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421548 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:28:04 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2421548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are having a baby boy in May and have no plan to red-shirt. He might very well be the youngest in his class if the June.July and August babies are red-shirted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421533 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:21:38 +0000 rachiecakes 2421533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>J is a December baby as well so he won't be in Kindergarten until he's almost 6. I worry that he might get bored in class and get into trouble. He loves learning now and can't get enough of it, being a little bit older may make things worse?<br /> We're going to send him the year he's eligible and then reassess where he is academically with the school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421526 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:20:16 +0000 Twolittlemen 2421526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS2 has a late july birthday and cutoff here is 8/7 for public but 6/1 for private. He will be going to public school and I do not plan to hold him back- he will be newly 5 when he starts K. </p> <p>However, in preschool hes in now some parents that have children there are going to do public and some are going to do private elementary. They change classrooms at the beginning of the summer program. so last year when my child was still 2 (two months from 3) we got an invitation to another boy in the classes party (he was turning 4). </p> <p>I totally have a problem with this! they let the parents decide on class placement due to what school the child will be attending in the future with the minimum being to adhere to the later public school start date. But this is preschool!!! should my 2 year old be in a class with 4 year olds because I am following the rules?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421510 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:15:30 +0000 T-Mom 2421510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS misses the cutoff by a week and will be the oldest in his class already. If he were the youngest and having a lot of difficulty, I would maybe consider it. </p> <p>My DD made the cutoff by 2 days and is literally the youngest. She is a 7 yr old 2nd grader and has classmates who are 9, it's insane. Her grades are terrific, so it ultimately depends on the child. Also, she attended a Montessori school till Kinder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421508 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:14:47 +0000 cat620 2421508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here are the statistics on the ages kids are when they start kindergarten: According to the most recent data available from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), in the 2010-2011 school year only 6 percent of kids started kindergarten at age 4, 42 percent of kids were between 5 and 5½, 43 percent were between 5½ and 6 years old — and more than 9 percent of kids starting kindergarten had already turned 6.</p> <p>I realize this is several years old, but I wonder if we think redshirting is more common than it really is? It seems like the majority of kids are still 5 when they start kindergarten. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421499 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:13:22 +0000 psw27 2421499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is an 8/4 baby and our cut off is 9/1. He was a preemie but I think he is essentially "caught up" but it is still something I am considering in making my decision. I think we will hold him back a year if we feel that socially and emotionally he is not ready to move into full time schooling. </p> <p>My brother is a 9/6 birthday and my mom did 2 years of kindergarten with him back in the 80s because he was a bit immature. My mom also felt that she wanted him to be one of the first to drive, be 21, etc. once he got older because she felt like he would be left out as the kids got older if he was nearly a year younger than some. </p> <p>As with all parenting choices, I just feel like there is no "right" choice and you just have to make the best one based on your kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421489 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:10:58 +0000 LBee 2421489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @Pirouette: I agree with this. My son is 2 days off from our cutoff and it's extremely common to redshirt where I live (mostly assumed). I have been very influenced by the fact that if I don't hold him back that there could be a two (!!) year spread between him and some of the kids in his class. I understand that I'm just falling into the trend and perpetuating the problem, but when it comes to my son's academic and social performance, I don't really want to be the outlier.</p> <p>I don't parent in absolutes, though. I'll do what's best for my kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421482 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:06:47 +0000 Pirouette 2421482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: i think it's so unfortunate that the choice was taken out of your hands. I really wish it was more standardized - what's the point of a deadline if it's not enforced at all?</p> <p>@winniebee: that's the thing, i'm not sure it would matter to my LO either - she loves older kids and thrives around them (now at least). But it seems crazy to take someone who would be the youngest in her class under the normal guidelines, and make her the youngest by another 6 months because all the kids a few months older than her are redshirted. At the end of the day, it will depend on what her school is like in this regard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-a-boy-are-you-red-shirting-for-school/page/2#post-2421470 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 09:59:47 +0000 winniebee 2421470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: I was a july 30 bday for 9/1 cut off and did great! but, I'm a girl so maybe that makes a difference. It never seemed to matter for me! </p>