Hellobee Boards Topic: If You Have Both a DS & a DD?

Hellobee Boards Topic: If You Have Both a DS & a DD? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 13:33:55 +0000 HLK208 on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134990 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 22:06:48 +0000 HLK208 1134990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I feel close with both. With DS, he was so connected to me early on. I rocked him more and held him for a lot of his naps as an infant. He needed me and I loved it. With DD, I feel like I can understand her a little better than DS. She copies me and looks to me when she's scared but otherwise she is so much more independent than DS was. I love them both SO much so the differences don't matter, really. I wouldn't say either of them are closer with one parent. Both kids want me to comfort them while they want DH to rough house and play with. It was the same way with my own parents (even though they have 4 daughters). I think it's not only personality driven but probably how you parent. Mrs. High Heels on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134982 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 21:48:08 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1134982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cole: Not true for us either, but I can see why this could be true because after the 2nd one was born I ended up spending much more time with the 2nd since I'm nursing, leading DH to take on all of the firstborn duties (he gives her all her baths, does her bedtime routine, goes to sleep in her room if she wakes up in the MOTN, etc). However, despite all the time he spends with her, she is still a mama's girl through and through. She's closer to her daddy than ever, but if given the choice she will still always choose me. ---- To answer your question, @shopaholic: , my son and daughter are like night and day! DD needs me a lot, and still clings close to me and likes me by her side no matter what she's doing. She is cautious, observant, shy, very verbal, and strong-willed. She scares easily and is delicate, but sooo tender, warm, and huggable. She hasn't changed much from her infant days!! When she was a newborn, I could not put her down everrr... DS is only 7.5 months, but ever since birth he has been really chill, easygoing, independent, and sooo willing to explore and could care less if I left him be for an hour at a time. He's not as cuddly as DD because he always wants to be moving around and exploring. In terms of how they're different as a girl and a boy, I think they fit the typical molds in the sense that DD is very emotionally driven, and DS is super physical! Emotionally, it doesn't seem like much phases DS and he only cries if he's tired or hungry. DD just seems a lot more complex than DS. But my love for them both are FIERCE. I don't think I can love DD anymore than I already do. I didn't know how I'd fit in more love for another kid, but it's possible! I love DS with the same intensity, but it is different. Can't quite explain or describe it, but I think it comes from them being two little individuals who have different needs rather than their sex/gender. I appreciate them both for their strengths and their differences, and they need me in very different ways. @sorrycharlie: I was the same way! I would've been happy with all daughters, and was a little nervous when I found out I was having a son, but oh my gosh... he blows my mind. I had zero experience with boys, but when he came along everything just fit into place as if it were always meant to be. It feels completely natural to me now to be a mama to a son. lamariniere on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134462 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 13:27:06 +0000 lamariniere 1134462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @chopsuey: this makes me really excited for DD's arrival :-) lamariniere on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134461 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 13:26:13 +0000 lamariniere 1134461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Very curious too! I have a DS who is a total mama's boy and we have a DD on the way. The kids will be almost exactly 3 years apart. I have a younger brother and, while I think we had similar relationships with our mom, I'm definitely closer to our dad. sorrycharlie on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134417 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 12:38:25 +0000 sorrycharlie 1134417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is so interesting to read about!! I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I don't have much experience with boys and would be totally happy having all girls. I'm afraid to have a boy! No idea why. T-Mom on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134402 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 12:30:39 +0000 T-Mom 1134402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Honeybee: my experience is similar to yours. I also think it depends on birth order, personality, other factors. My DD is a typical oldest. Perfectionist, responsible, capable. That's partly her and partly the expectations we place on her to watch out for her brother, be the bigger one, and she's only 5. We butt heads a lot and I wasn't expecting that, and I can't explain it either! Maybe because she is literally like my mini-me. My relationship with DS is so easy and free. I don't expect much from him. Granted, he's only 2. I'm learning a lot about myself through having one of each. @chopsuey: I agree it's the same amount of love, but different. chopsuey on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134393 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 12:15:27 +0000 chopsuey 1134393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When I just had DD I was obsessed with her and I couldn't imagine being able to love another child of mine with the same intensity. Then DS was born and I can't even explain it. The first couple days that I had him alone at the hospital my heart was on fire. It was a new type of emotion that I had never experienced before. I definitely love my kids the same, but it's a different type of love. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having one of each! Cole on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134211 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:42:12 +0000 Cole 1134211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Jacks: I figured it was a long shot but it was interesting to see! Thanks! Mrs. Jacks on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134210 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:41:20 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cole: our family doesn't work with your theory. The oldest is completely mama-centric and always have been.... And the girls are 21 months apart. runsyellowlites on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134182 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:23:34 +0000 runsyellowlites 1134182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think we really follow the strong sided stereotypes here. G is more on the sweet, cuddly, love you mom side but I think that probably has more to do with being in a house full of just women for a number of years than anything else. Overall though if DH & I are both home G is choosing to do something with DH and practically LIVES for their time together whether it be playing legos, superheros, ps3, tossing the ball, etc. At 9 I STILL get my public kiss & "love you mom" but DH steals the lime light for time spent together. P is all about mom and has been since birth. I honestly think it may play into some of her tendencies and since I'm the one with her all the time but she generally prefers me over DH.... if you include everyone in the house though she prefers G over all of us, I only win b/c I have boobs & she's a boob monster. lol Cole on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134178 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:22:03 +0000 Cole 1134178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't have any little ones yet but after working with a bunch of different families I noticed that often the oldest becomes more Daddy centric after the second one is born regardless of gender and the second stays more attached to Mom. This is especially true with the families where the kids are less than two years apart. My sample size is only 5 families and one didn't fit the pattern but I would be curious to know if others found the same. Honeybee on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134162 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:12:00 +0000 Honeybee 1134162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think it's different because each individual kid is so different. My daughter was always very independent, super verbal, and needed a certain amount of alone time. My son is less verbal and less independent, but much more easy going and much less dramatic. I guess in some ways I feel like he physically needs me more (e.g. holding/hugging/kissing him often, he gets upset when he's not physically near me, etc...), while my daughter emotionally needs me more (e.g. talking her through tantrums, discussing daily life/challenges, etc...). Also, my daughter really loves her daddy, while DS has always been more attached to me. Now, granted, DD's affections do kind of ebb and flow (although she still prefers daddy more often to mommy) but my son has been 100% camp mommy since the day he was born. Even now at 18 months, he's a lot more affectionate toward his daddy than he used to be, but it's still pretty clear he prefers me. :) Mrs. Jacks on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134160 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:10:10 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have two girls, but one is a die hard mama's girl and the other is more balanced. I think it may be personality more than sex. Dandelion on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134156 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:04:39 +0000 Dandelion 1134156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm interested in this, too. DS is a Momma's boy, but it's mostly because it's been him and me for his entire life and his dad hasn't always been around. I interested to see my relationship with the next LO, despite being a boy or girl, because DH is its father and always going to be around. Mrs. Yoyo on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134153 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:04:23 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1134153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Hmmm, well I only have a son and he's very cuddly and affectionate. Not sure I buy into any stereotypes; it's so personality driven. T.H.O.U. on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1134149 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 09:01:33 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1134149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just have one but curious too. I've heard obviously boys are just so different in the way they play but also how they love. My mom said she really had to adjust to the way my brother received love versus the way a girl does. shopaholic on "If You Have Both a DS & a DD?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-both-a-ds-amp-a-dd#post-1133965 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 00:02:08 +0000 shopaholic 1133965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ How does your relationship and feelings toward DS/DD differ? I know there is the sterotypical "mama's boys" and "daddy's girl", but I didn't have that relationship myself with my Dad, so I really have no idea. I hear mom's tell me when they had a son, it was just "so different!", but as a mama who is obsessed and crazy in love with her DD, I want to understand? Anyone with one (or more) of each, care to elaborate? Just for fun of course!