https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 19:36:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766947 Wed, 08 May 2013 07:14:11 +0000 chanzi 766947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have some family friends whose daughter has the dad's last name and the son has the mom's last name.</p> <p>I took DH's name and replaced my middle name with my maiden name. They started with the same letter so I have the same middle initial, and I don't have to deal with two middle names. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766640 Tue, 07 May 2013 21:04:06 +0000 mrsbabycakes 766640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't change my name, and our daughter has my last name. DH didn't really care either way, and her name sounded best with my last name, so that was really the deciding factor. Pretty sure it weirds people out though lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766528 Tue, 07 May 2013 20:13:10 +0000 spaniellove 766528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittylady: We've considered this option - giving a LO just my name. It's not that revolutionary to me because I've had female professors who've done it and it seems like their husbands were fine with it, but my in-laws would be really upset! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766479 Tue, 07 May 2013 19:33:36 +0000 tlcbaby 766479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: I would have considered hyphenating, but my last name is long enough, it just would have made it worse! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766477 Tue, 07 May 2013 19:32:48 +0000 sunny 766477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I havent changed my name and LO had my husbands last name. Her first, middle and last name were already long enough so we decided not to add mine in as well. </p> <p>I am still undecided on what to do about my last name! To keep, use DH's or hyphenate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766465 Tue, 07 May 2013 19:24:38 +0000 tlcbaby 766465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittylady: If the baby took my last name my husband's parents might have a stroke. I don't think some of his family members even realize I didn't change my name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766177 Tue, 07 May 2013 15:58:14 +0000 oliviaoblivia 766177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have my moms maiden as my second middle. It hasn't created any problems. LO has my maiden as her second middle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766173 Tue, 07 May 2013 15:56:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 766173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittylady: you rebel, you ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766167 Tue, 07 May 2013 15:54:18 +0000 knittylady 766167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents weren't married and I had my mother's name. In fact, it was quite common where I grew up (Cambridge, MA - crunchy crunchy) for kids to take the mother's last name even when the parents were married. I'm quite the rebel for taking DH's name, it was a really big deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766113 Tue, 07 May 2013 15:30:40 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 766113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my maiden name but have LO my husbands last name. I do plan on hyphenation y last name anyways...just haven't gotten around to it. People refer to me as Mrs. T... Anyways. I use his last name in some of my email addresses but I use my maiden name on all resumes and paperwork. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-766098 Tue, 07 May 2013 15:22:15 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 766098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlcbaby: right. It's on their paperwork so they can use it in some capacity, but they never have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765830 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:46:16 +0000 fancyfunction 765830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She has my husband's last name. My last name is so long, I wouldn't want her to have it as a second middle name and also part of the reason I didn't hyphenate my own name. It doesn't bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765788 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:33:18 +0000 StbHisMrs 765788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been married twice, the first time I took his last name, and I changed it back to my maiden name when we got divorced. Now that I'm remarried I've yet to change my name (just pure procrastination) along with not wanting to spend $$ on changing it on my drivers license, state notary license, and insurance license, then there's the vehicles that I'd have to pay to change the registration. All in all it's close to $300 to update everything once it's changed. I don't have the same last name as any of my children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765751 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:21:59 +0000 nana87 765751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I'll give a fake name as an example because it's easier to explain with an actual name: my name is formatted similarly to "Alice Smith Rosenberg Johansen" (including that many syllables per name--it's a mouthful!)--that's what's on my passport, license, etc. Credit cards, however, don't recognize that name format: on one credit card, to make it fit my name I'm "A Rosenberg Johanson", on another it's "Alice S. Rosenberg-Johanson," and my debit card says "Alice S. Rosenberg Johanson." So kiosks at airports never work, for example, bc they don't recognize the format of my name--I almost always have to wait in long lines to see a real person. Or if I make appointments for doctors or restaurants or whatever, I can never keep track of whether they've filed me under Rosenberg or Johanson; at my gym, you need to swipe an ID but sometimes the machines are broken so they take your id while you're working out and sometimes alphabetize my card under R and other times J....my grad school has mostly ignored the fact that I changed my name, even though I did before my first semester, so I'm always just "Alice Rosenberg" to them.</p> <p>it's just way more complicated than if I'd either just kept my name as is or hyphenated! I kick myself all the time for it! So if we have 2 children (hopefully!) we'll name them firstname Smith Johanson and firstname Rosenberg Johanson and keeping easier </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765746 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:19:55 +0000 heartonastring 765746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD has DH's last name. I have my own last name. Baby doesn't have my name in her name at all. I was raised with a mother with a different last name than me, so I'm pretty comfortable with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765731 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:13:29 +0000 pui 765731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: Yep! That's why I am happy I was legally married in Ontario a few days before having my wedding in Quebec! I wanted to take my husband's name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765725 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:12:38 +0000 MrsTiz 765725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: How weird! You can change it if it's hard to pronounce but not if you get married. I'd never heard that before! Neat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765720 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:10:57 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 765720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In most Hispanic countries most women don't change their last names when married. Keeping with Hispanic tradition, our kids will have both our last names, His Last Name My Last Name. I have both parents last names on my S.S. and on my birth certificate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765713 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:09:03 +0000 Anagram 765713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: complicated in what way? I just changed mine, so I haven't had any time to run into any problems... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765711 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:08:51 +0000 pui 765711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: @tlcbaby: That's right. In Quebec, women cannot assume their husband's name after marriage.</p> <p>The only reasons you can change your name in Quebec are a) Your name is embarrassing or hard to pronounce or b) you've been using a name for over 5 years and can prove it. Getting married is not a valid reason for a name change.</p> <p>So married women could change their name after 5 years, but most don't. Also we're talking a legal change of name here (like it would even change on the birth certificate), not just assuming the name like most women do after marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765708 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:08:12 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 765708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>they have both names and no middle name :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765706 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:06:45 +0000 nana87 765706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 4 names altogether--I added my husband's as a 2nd last name when we got married--and I actually hate it, I wish I'd just hyphenated! So I'd discourage anyone from using 4 names, it's just too complicated logistically in the US where it isn't the norm. my middle name is my mom's maiden name, and I love that route--when we have a lo, we'll use dh's name for the last but either my last or middle (i.e., mom's maiden or my maiden) as the middle name. hopefully we'll have 2 so I can use each of them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765689 Tue, 07 May 2013 13:00:07 +0000 tlcbaby 765689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: @Foodnerd81: That is a good point! It's funny because I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with having my last name, but I couldn't give it up when I got married, either, because there aren't many of us left. That is why I am thinking middle name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765686 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:57:17 +0000 Foodnerd81 765686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Actually, I think that's better. In MA, they gave me the option of one or two initials and without thinking I did both, but now whenever I fill out say, an airline form, I have to make sure they include both initials and it's annoying. I wish I had just left it as my original middle initial, even though I have two middle names now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765683 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:55:41 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 765683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO got DH's last name and my last name for his only middle name. Plan on doing the same for future LO(s). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765680 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:54:56 +0000 Anagram 765680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlcbaby: I did take my husband's last name (just now, a week ago--haha), but you can totally have 2 middle names or two last names on a SS card, too. When I did take my husband's last name I kept my original names and just added his: First-Middle-Maiden-Married Last name.</p> <p>The onyl issue your LO might ever have is a driver's license, and that depends on state. In Texas, people can have two last names or two first names or what have you. I've know people names Maria-Jose Rodriguez Cordero--and that's just a double first name and double last name. But now, in NJ, they only let you have a middle initial and only let you have a hyphenated last name, or some other nonsense like that.</p> <p>So they only put my First name, original middle initial, and husband's last name,...grrrr. It really pissed me off, actually. But they said there are no exceptions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765679 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:54:34 +0000 Foodnerd81 765679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took my husband's name so it doesn't specifically apply, but when we got married I added my maiden name as my second middle name, and I will say, it adds a very small layer of confusion-- you have to decide what should be printed on forms of ID, what initials, etc. Like I said, it's a VERY small layer of confusion, but it's there. Would you consider doing just Firstname Yourname Hisname, no other middle name? That's what my sister did with her son (she didn't change her name). </p> <p>Also, if it's a girl, then she won't really have the option of keeping her whole name if she wants to add her husband's, unless she wants 5 names. </p> <p>Totally not saying not to do it, those were just things that I thought about when I considered this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765671 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:52:09 +0000 spaniellove 765671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No LOs yet but we are planning to hyphenate so they will have both last names. I don't want to get into any situations where I have to explain that I am really this child's mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765667 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:51:42 +0000 tlcbaby 765667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sera_87: @MrsTiz: I was wondering the same thing. How does it work there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-have-kids-and-didnt-take-your-husbands-name#post-765661 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:50:53 +0000 tlcbaby 765661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Ha! So in theory, though, if it is a middle name they wouldn't need it when they fill out forms and stuff, right?</p> <p>My husband is afraid they will be rebellious as a teenager and want to take my last name! I doubt it, my last name is a pain in the butt to spell and pronounce. </p>