Hellobee Boards Topic: If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?

Hellobee Boards Topic: If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 21:19:38 +0000 Ajsmommy on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1630523 Tue, 13 May 2014 06:53:54 +0000 Ajsmommy 1630523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes!! I am totally jealous of SAHM's but I also don't think I could do it. For me I think PART time work would be PERFECT. However, we need my full income so for now it's not feasible. Maybe someday...... or with LO#2??? fingers crossed... illumina on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1630470 Tue, 13 May 2014 05:36:28 +0000 illumina 1630470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: yes, it's weird isn't it? I know lots of Mums that went back to work, but I wouldn't say I was friends with them, just worked with them. Bearing in mind I have lots of friends who haven't had kids yet, and those that have, had them quite young and weren't career people at all. Also, for a lot of them the cost of childcare so they could go back to work wouldn't be worth it, based on the amount they earnt. Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1630466 Tue, 13 May 2014 05:25:00 +0000 Cherrybee 1630466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @illumina: Really, most of your friends are SAHMs? Other than the two people recently who have decided not to go back to work, I don't know another SAHM in the UK (apart from you, of course!). I mean, I know they exist (!!!) but it's just not something any of my friends have done. Maybe I hang around with paupers, like us!! Haha! illumina on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1630462 Tue, 13 May 2014 05:21:54 +0000 illumina 1630462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Most of my friends are either SAHMs or still on maternity leave, but I do get jealous of Dh often because I see it as he can just escape each day and talk to other adults and do interesting, stimulating work. Though I know if he offered to swap, I wouldn't take it because I know I have it better overall right now. Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1630437 Tue, 13 May 2014 03:54:42 +0000 Cherrybee 1630437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Lindsay05: I need to work on that too. I'm always looking ahead to how I want things to be and I never enjoy the now. That's also a great description on being home with the kids - it's hard, hard work. :heart: @daniellemybelle: That sounds wonderful! daniellemybelle on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629979 Mon, 12 May 2014 19:53:38 +0000 daniellemybelle 1629979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. I have the best of both worlds - I work from home part-time. I am also supremely lucky to have my mom to help with LO three days a week. I feel very, very lucky. Before I started working part time though, I will say I had moments where I missed having a career, and I worried a little bit about my female professional contacts judging me for quitting. (I hate that that's a thing but it is.) Now, though, I feel like I have struck a such a good balance. I only hope that we can continue to afford for me to only work part-time & not have to return full-time. looch on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629468 Mon, 12 May 2014 15:05:03 +0000 looch 1629468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am one of those moms that has their parents around, my patents are my before and after care and we eat at their house twice a week at least. My mom also does all my sons laundry and packs his food during the week. In a pinch, she can take him to the ped. My husband feels incredibly guilty, even though my parents offer to help a lot, they are both retired, so we hardly ever get a proper date night. I am just too busy on the weekends to train a babysitter!!! Lindsay05 on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629467 Mon, 12 May 2014 15:04:51 +0000 Lindsay05 1629467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think about it on a daily basis. I am SAHM right now and I often search for daycares because I feel like working out of the home may be a better option for me. And then I think about missing my girls and then I decide not to work. When I worked pre-baby, I hated waking up everyday to go to work and was SO excited to stay at home with the kids. Now, I never realized how hard it would be to be at home. I never get to sleep in, I don't get sick days, blah blah blah. I need to work on making the most of what i'm doing RIGHT NOW. Pumuckl on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629190 Mon, 12 May 2014 13:44:18 +0000 Pumuckl 1629190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: I'm back at work PT but work 4 8h days Mo-Th and like you I was miserable while on mat leave but still I have moments where I'm thinking things along the lines of "I would love to go to the zoo with LO today" and then I get jealous of the mums that can just do that. Mrs. Pen on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629120 Mon, 12 May 2014 13:23:08 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1629120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: I think the job I DO have plays into it a lot. It was fine for the first year, but I'm bored now. It's redundant and not extremely satisfying. For the most part, it's a pretty thankless job that people take for granted. I would be fine without recognition, except that we're usually treated like our job is worthless, and told as much by some more outspoken patients. So I've struggled with that a lot too. I think once I become a nurse and feel like my work is beneficial and meaningful - it will truly make a difference! Happiness at work definitely has an impact on whether someone might want to SAH or WOH. Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629096 Mon, 12 May 2014 13:16:00 +0000 Cherrybee 1629096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: I wondered if you would see this thread and what your reply would be because I remember how much you wanted to work. I agree that part time hours sound wonderful!!! I think that would be my ideal if I could choose - part time, flexible hours, working for myself (but we didn't *need* the income so it wouldn't be stressful), with a housekeeper thrown into the arrangement!!! LuLu Mom on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629050 Mon, 12 May 2014 13:00:42 +0000 LuLu Mom 1629050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I also don't know if I could handle being a SAHM, I love my daughter but I think adult interaction is needed for me to stay sane. However, I got totally jealous of a friend who just quit her job to stay home, I kept wishing it was an option for me! I wish I could be a part time career woman, and a part time stay at home mommy, I want the best of both worlds! BKCaribBaby on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1629043 Mon, 12 May 2014 12:58:01 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1629043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Honestly, no. I like being a WOH that has a flexible day at home one day per week. Honestly, my dream would be a job that challenged me three days per week with 2 days at home. If I met someone who had that arrangement, then I would super jealous. I also have to admit that I don't really know any SAHPs, so I don't have very much insight into the daily life of one. I think everyone's right with their "grass is greener assessment. I think it goes to show that there is really no real way to do this parent thing. :) Mrs.Panda on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1628903 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:53:35 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1628903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh when I talk to my SAHM friends I get kind of jealous and my LO isn't even here yet! I think it's because they don't have to work that I am jealous whereas I do. Freckles on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1628869 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:41:31 +0000 Freckles 1628869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMoose: I totally get jealous of my friends who have their parents nearby. I seriously give daggers to my friends who WOH but don't have to pay for childcare, and who hop over to their parents' house for dinner after work. @Cherrybee: I am only jealous of SAHMs who have family nearby to help, or nanies. My friend is a SAHM and she gets help from her family a few hours a day EVERY DAY. littlek on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1628833 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:30:20 +0000 littlek 1628833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think I'm more jealous when I hear about them doing fun things while I'm at work. Like going to the park, museum, swimming classes, etc. Plus, with my job it doesn't end when I leave the office, I get client demands 24/7. I don't have to work but I enjoy it. There's pros and cons on both sides. MamaMoose on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1628792 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:14:32 +0000 MamaMoose 1628792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: yes I definitely have "they have it so easy thoughts". Like when SAHMs complain about finding time to get the laundry done I want to say "try having a full time job and finding time to get the laundry done!!!!!!". Mrs. Pen on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other/page/2#post-1628767 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:08:22 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1628767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Haha - grass is always greener, right?! I definitely identify with this! Although we really did need the extra income- I got a job mostly because I had the desire to. But now that I'm back at school FT, I wish I didn't have to work. But now it's necessity to put me through school - so I get jealous of the moms in my program whose husbands can financially support paying their tuition and kids' daycare so they can 100% focus on school. Before I was back at school - I did find that working my PT schedule has been the best of both worlds. I make enough $$ to make a difference, save a bit and have a teensy bit of fun money, while also having tons of time with my kid. Even after I graduate and hopefully become a nurse, my ideal schedule is 32 hours or less a week. autumnlove on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628757 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:06:05 +0000 autumnlove 1628757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Sometimes but I think I'm doing the right thing for us right now! Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628739 Mon, 12 May 2014 11:01:05 +0000 Cherrybee 1628739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @JennyG: Huge big hugs for you. Just reading your post, I'm feeling irritated by your friends (total jealousy!) and I know exactly how you feel. The important thing is not to allow it to affect your friendships because friends are (often) for life and our children are only little for a short time. It will only be you (and me) who will suffer in the long run when we find ourselves with excellent career prospects but no friends left! Amelieisme on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628711 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:53:32 +0000 Amelieisme 1628711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Definitely. I WOH and have a good career, but I'm on maternity leave for LO2 right now. I could definitely get used to this! I get extra time with my older kiddo and fun outings to the park, etc. There are definitely days that I wish my toddler would have a few less tantrums,but all in all it's been nice! I dread going back in 2 weeks! It's also nice being able to get some laundry,chores, etc done during the week and not cramming it into the weekend. I do find fulfillment in my work as well though...just wish it was a part-time gig! Foodnerd81 on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628674 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:44:45 +0000 Foodnerd81 1628674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: don't feel like a jerk! It goes right back to the grass being greener thing! I mean, along with the family nearby to help comes family nearby to meddle, but I don't think about that when I just want someone to watch c for an hour so I could get my haircut. Like wohms don't think about all the hours inside alone with a baby when they see pictures of play dates outside in a beautiful park. One thing I love about HB is reading about the good and bad for all sides. JennyG on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628660 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:40:15 +0000 JennyG 1628660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm worried my jealously will cause problems with two of my friends. I would LOVE to stay home for a while, but it's not possible. However, two friends are pregnant and are both planning to stay home for indefinite amounts of time. Really concerned about my ability to get past my jealousy and not think they have it so great when they're a few months into it. Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628627 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:29:28 +0000 Cherrybee 1628627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Anagram: Wow, I'm TOTALLY jealous of these women!!! :silly: Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628620 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:28:39 +0000 Cherrybee 1628620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMoose: @littlek: @Foodnerd81: You ladies are all jealous of me (we have good family nearby) and that makes me feel like a total jerk (but in a good, humbling kind of way). I wish I could share with you :heart: :heart: :heart: Anagram on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628614 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:27:13 +0000 Anagram 1628614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @pinkcupcake: well to be fair, they've definitely tried to include us working mamas, too. We all have a mommy- baby happy hour once a week at 5 pm, plus a "new mom boot camp" fitness class Saturday mornings I go to, and one of the baby food making classes was at night so I went to that. Buy man, I'd love to take my baby to library story hour, the baby gym, and the park play dates with all of them, too. Most of them have cleaning ladies and babysitter or family help as well so maybe I'm just envious of the whole lifestyle! Haha. Cherrybee on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628613 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:27:06 +0000 Cherrybee 1628613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMoose: Does your jealousy ever prompt you to feel fleeting negative things about those people? Like "I don't know what they're moaning about, they have it really easy" type thoughts? And yes, the choice. That is a big part of it. I *didn't* have the choice but, realistically, I would probably have chosen to WOH even if I did..... but, oh to have a say!! My husband pushes me really hard to "provide for our daughter". I'm in the process of applying for a promotion I don't really want because DH wants me to progress in my career so much..... maybe that's what I'm most jealous of?! :meh: littlek on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628589 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:22:04 +0000 littlek 1628589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMoose: That makes me jealous too. :( I wish I had family nearby. Foodnerd81 on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628585 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:21:07 +0000 Foodnerd81 1628585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMoose: yes to both your points-- having the voice makes it a lot more palatable, I think. And I am totally jealous of people with family nearby. MamaMoose on "If you like your work/SAH status do you still feel pangs of jealousy when a friend does the other?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-like-your-worksah-status-do-you-still-feel-pangs-of-jealousy-when-a-friend-does-the-other#post-1628575 Mon, 12 May 2014 10:18:55 +0000 MamaMoose 1628575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not really. I like being a WOHM. My husband makes enough money that I COULD stay at home, so I think it helps that I know I made the choice for myself, rather than having it made for me. There are often times that I lament how hard it is to wear two hats as mama and employee instead of just one because it's hard to juggle everything... but it's the best fit for our family. I do however get REALLY jealous of people who have family near by. I would love to be able to call in Nana to help out when LO is sick, or hubs and I both have work events in the evening, etc.